Gift  or  No  Gift?  ~  The  Taboos  of    Gift-­‐giving  in  Modern  China!    (3)

送礼还是不送？ ～ 送礼的忌讳！

(Compiled by Glenda Gao @GoGoMandarin)~www.gogomandarin.com                

The third meeting.

第三次见面

Congratulations for getting this far! Now you have become more

credible in the eyes of your Chinese counterpart. Of course, doing

business requires frequent meetings and multi-faceted negotiations,

but at least you can say that you have taken the first step in your

journey on “the Long March”. It is at this point that your

abilities will be key and price may not end up being a very

significant issue. On meeting for the third time it is usual for the

Chinese side to arrange the venue because they will be inviting you.

Having said that, whoever ends up paying the bill is entirely

dependant on circumstances.

恭喜你走到这一步--- 这证明你已基本得到中方的信任。当然要做成生意通常

需要多次见面，多方面磋商，但至少可以说“万里长征”你已经迈出了第一

步！。现在关键要看你的专业能力了，价钱应该不是主要的问题。第三次见面

通常会是中方安排地方，因为他们想回请你。当然，至于最后谁买单，看情况

再定。

Topics for discussion at the dinner table: First, you can use the

opportunity to showcase more detailed material about your company and

information illustrating your company’s ability to get the job done,

perhaps providing examples of former well-executed projects. Now

both sides can have more of a heart-to-heart discussion.

饭桌上可以谈的事：首先可以详细地出具你公司的资料和一些可以证明你们能

胜任此项目的资料～包括展示你们以前做过的项目等。现在你们可以“关起门

来说话了”！

Business gift taboos

商务送礼的忌讳：

Gift giving is part of the communication involved in doing business

and is as much an aspect of etiquette as being part of the business

process. Giving the right type of gift may well enable a more

harmonious relationship. Giving the wrong type of gift may end up

being a ‘faut pas’ which puts a negative edge on the relationship.

送礼作为企业与客户之间沟通的一个环节，既是一种礼节又是一种商务手段。

运用的好可以使双方的商务合作更加的融洽，但如果运用的不好，则可能从送

礼变成失礼，甚至成了影响双方合作的一个负面因素。

1)Chinese Taboos involving numbers:

关于数字的忌讳：

For Chinese, the number 4 is taboo because it has the same sound as

the word for death (even though its tone is different). So one

should not give presents to Chinese people which contain 4 items in a

set or, indeed, a set containing any number with 4 in it, so gifts

such as tea sets which may have 4 or 14 pieces in them, or other

crockery sets with, say, 24 pieces should be avoided. Sets of 6,8 or

9 are much better. 6, for instance, rhymes with the word “溜

“ （pronounced “liu1” meaning “to glide”), inferring smoothness.

8 (pronounced “ba1”) rhymes in part with “发”（pronounced“fa1”)

which means “to become wealthy”. 9 (pronounced “jiu3”) rhymes

with the word “久“ （also pronounced “jiu3”） meaning “long

time” indicating longevity which is a very propitious concept to

Chinese.

中国人最忌讳数字“4”，因“4”与“死”谐音。故不要送中国人4件一套的礼

物，或礼物数目不能有4，而以6，8，9为最好。6与“溜”谐音，溜的意思是顺

溜；8与“发”谐音，发的意思是发财；9与“久”谐音，久的意思是长久。

2) Never give a present which is too expensive or too opulent such

as diamonds, gold or cash. Cigarettes are usually a safe bet to give

as presents because many people (especially men) in China tend to

smoke.

不要送太贵重和太敏感的东西，如钻戒，黄金，现金等。然而，如果对方抽

烟，那么可以送贵重一点的烟。

3) Don’t give anything too big or gaudy, especially not in front of

colleagues (generally speaking, it is always better to give presents

discretely one to one).

不要送体积过大，色彩过于明显的商务礼品，特别是当着对方同事的面。

4) Be especially careful not to present gifts which are easily

available around the seasons of New Year or the Mid Autumn Festival.

避免在春节，中秋节等送礼的高峰期，送出市场上到处可以买到的礼品。

5) Do not ever give clocks as presents because the Chinese word for

clock (“zhong1”) has exactly the same pronunciation as the Chinese

word for “end” (as in death).

不能送钟，因“钟”是“终”的谐音。给人送钟，就等于盼着人死。

6) Do not give shoes because the Chinese word for shoe (“xie2”) is

the same pronunciation as the word meaning “evil”. Presenting

someone with shoes is therefore symbolic of giving someone very bad

fortune. Such gifts are likely to ensure a swift end to your

contacts and friendship.

不能送鞋，因“鞋”是“邪”的谐音。给人送鞋，就等于给人送去邪气，故

此，很有可能不久就会与对方失去联系与友谊。

7) Do not give umbrellas as presents because the Chinese word for

umbrella (伞“san3”) rhymes with the word 散 （pronounced “san4”)

meaning “to scatter” although there is no harm in offering an

umbrella to someone in the event of a downpour! However, when two

good friends present one another with umbrellas, the inference is

they will split up or go their separate ways.

不能送伞,因“伞”是“散”的谐音（不包括雨中送伞的情形）。若好朋友之间

把伞作为礼物相送，将意味着日后必将分手或离散。

8) Do not give candles as presents because candles are used in wakes

for the dead.

不能送蜡烛，因蜡烛是祭祀死人用的，故不能作为礼物送人。

9) Make sure that you do not give lower ranking individuals better，

more expensive gifts than those you give to more senior-ranking

individuals. If you do, the seniors will probably get to know about

it and will not be happy because they will have lost face in front of

their own subordinates.

避免给下级送的礼物比上级的还贵重，而且上级很有可能会知悉此事。

10) Do not give any sharp weapons such knives or swords as gifts

because in Chinese there is a saying “一刀两断”（yī dāo liǎng duàn) which means “making a clean break”. To the Chinese mind,

giving someone sharp weapons as a gift gives a negative inference

that personal relationships will be severed. There are however

exceptions. For instance, it is permissible to give weaponry as a

gift to someone who practices martial arts so the suitability of such

gifts really depends on circumstances.

不能送刀，剑之类的利器，因俗话有“一刀两断”之说。送人刀，剑恐有割断

双方关系的不好联想，但也有例外，比如说可送给练武之人，投其所好！

11) Do not give hats as gifts because when an old person dies, their

children will wear special funeral hats. On no account present

anyone with a green hat because in China (similar to European

tradition) a green hat is the sign of a cuckold. Consequently,

giving someone a green hat is the greatest insult.

切忌送帽子，因老人去世孝子要头戴孝帽。特别是绿色的帽子，更是送礼的大

忌。戴绿帽子指的是妻子不贞，送绿帽子是对人最大的侮辱。

12) Most important of all, it is traditional in China not to open up

presents just received in front of others because Chinese consider

that doing so may make the gift-giver think he is being judged in

public by the receiver or because the beneficiary does not want to

give the impression that he is greedy by opening the gift on the spot

– after all, it is the thought that counts.

Having said all that, it is a fact that more and more people in China,

influenced by western customs, are by-passing this Chinese tradition

and the practice of opening presents immediately is becoming more

common.

One interesting facet of Chinese culture that may interest some

readers is that at weddings in certain remote, poor areas of China,

it has been known for the wedding host to read out the names and

donations of each guest specifically with the aim of making sure that

those attending the wedding do not give too little! Rest assured,

however, that this is a very unusual custom. ☺

最后很重要的一点：中国人的传统是在接收礼物时不会当面把礼物打开，因中

国人觉得这样做会让送礼人有“当众受审”的感觉，或是怕给人以太贪心的感

觉～礼轻情谊重嘛！然而，现在越来越多的人因受西方文化的影响，通常会当

面打开礼物的。在此，我想跟大家分享一个有趣,但及罕见的婚礼风俗～在中国

的少数贫穷，边缘地区，在婚礼上，主持人通常会一一读出送彩礼人的名字以

及其所送彩礼的数目——其目的是防止参加婚礼的人给太少的彩礼，但这毕竟

是极为罕见的事。☺

Please leave a comment as I would love to hear from you! Want more

information on Chinese culture and customs? If so, please let me

know and email me: glendagao@gogomandarin.com

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