April2016

BuildingTrustandAttachment

Whenachildissuddenlytakenfromhishome,andfromhisfamily,andplacedinahomeagainsthiswill,thereareboundtobeissuesoftrust.Onewaytocombatthisistocreateatrustingandnurturingenvironmentwithinyourownhome.Letyourfosterchildknowasearlyaspossiblethatheiswelcomeinyourhouse.Alongwiththis,youwillwanttoletyourfosterchildknowthatyourhouseisasafeone,andthathewillnotcometoharminyourhome.Notonlydoyouwanttoletyourfosterchildknowthiswhenhejoinsyourfamily,itisjustasimportanttoremindhimofthisasoftenaspossible.Youwanttoshowyourfosterchildthatheisimportanttoyou.Forsomechildren,thismightbeanewexperience,astheyhaveneverbeenshownvaluebefore.

Trustcanalsobebuiltbyshowingyourfosterchildthatyoucareforhim.Buildingatrustingrelationshipmeansshowingyourfosterchildthatyouareconcernedforhiswell-being,physically,emotionally,mentally,andacademically.Showingcompassionforyourfosterchildisanimportantpartofbuildingahealthyrelationship,asheneedstoknowandfeelthatyoucareforhim.Afterall,closerelationshipsbetweenchildrenandadultsisacentralpartofavoidingfurtherriskybehavior.Trust,though,doestaketime,andforsomefosterchildren,itmaytakeaverylongperiodoftime.Remember,youareplantingseeds,here,thatyoumayneverseecometofruition.

Asyourfosterchildwillneedtimetoadjusttohisnewhomeandenvironment,hewillrequiretimeandpatiencefromyou.Alongwiththis,hewillalsoneedyourcompassion,andyourunderstandingduringwhatissuretobeaveryemotionalandtraumatictimeforhim.Remember,heisinastrangehome,withstrangers;yourhomeandyourfamily,nothisown.Tohim,everythingisstrangeandnew;anewhome,newfood,new“parents,”new“brothersandsisters,”andnewrulesandexpectationsforhimtofollow.Likelytocompoundhisconfusionevenfurther,anewschool,alongwithnewstudentsandteachers,ifhehasmovedfromanotherschoolsystem.Asyoucanimagine,itislikelythathemayactoutinavarietyofwaysashestrugglestounderstandthesevereandsuddenchangesinhislife.Yourfosterchildmayexhibitsuddenoutburstsofangerandaggressivebehavior,extremeboutsofsadnessanddepressionorevenimaginativestoriesabouthisbirthfamily.Indeed,itisnotunlikelythathewillexhibitallofthese.Furthermore,hemayevenexpressnoemotions,atall,andseemcompletelyshutofftoyou,inanemotionalmanner.Asfosterparents,itisimportantthatyoudonottakehisbehaviorpersonally.Afterall,heisattemptingtounderstandhisfeelings,andcopethebestwayhecan,andperhapstheonlywayheknows.

Keepthisinmind,though.Youhavemadeadifference.Youhavemadeatremendousdifferenceinthelifeofachildinneed.Thoughyoumaynotbeabletorecognizeit,youhavechangedthelifeofachild,andhavedonesoforthebetter.Yearslater,afterafosterchildhasleftyourhome,hemaynotrememberyourface.Hemaynotrememberyourname.Yet,thatchildwillrememberonething;thathewasimportant,andthathewasloved.Thankyouforlovingchildreninfostercare.Thankyouforchangingtheworld,onechildatatime.(ExcerptstakenfromDr.JohnDeGarmo)

AprilHappenings4/8-9 IFAPASpringConference DesMoinesAirport

HolidayInn6111FleurDr.

4/12 It’sNotAboutYou:Yelling CentervilleBankSt.6-8pm andDisrespectfulBehaviors NazareneChurch 415BankSt.4/23 Puttingastoptoelimination AnkenyIFAPA9-12:15pm Disorders-Enuresis(wetting) TrainingCenter andEncopresis(soiling) 6864NE14thSt.ste54/23 GrowingRelationships AnkenyIFAPA1:15-4:30pm ThroughPlay TrainingCenter 6864NE14thSt.ste54/23 Getmeoffthisrollercoaster: CedarRapids9-4:30 pm Copingskillsforemotional FourOaksBridge Intensityissues 21001stAveNE4/30 MandatoryChildAbuse AnkenyIFAPA9-12:15pm ReporterTraining TrainingCenter 6864NE14thSt.ste54/30 CPR&FirstAid AnkenyIFAPA1:15-4:30pm TrainingCenter 6864NE14thSt.ste5

Registeronlineatwww.IFAPA.orgorcall1-800-277-8145ext.1

SPIDERDOGS

1. Cuthotdogsinto1inchslices

2. Breakuncookedspaghettinoodlesinhalforthirds

3. Poketheuncookedspaghettithroughthehotdogpieces

4. Placeinboilingwaterfor8-10minutesoruntilnoodlesaretender

5. Dipincheesesauceormarinarasauce