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Practices for Mindful Communication and Emotional Intelligence
NOW Conference 2019
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Practices for Mindful Communicationand Emotional Intelligence
Aaron Culich
Aaron Culich is a Research Data & Computing Architect with the Data-Intensive Social Sciences Laboratory (D-Lab) at UC Berkeley. He is also a Teacher-in-Training with the Search Inside Yourself Leadership Institute (SIYLI).
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Search Inside YourselfMindfulness-Based Emotional Intelligence for Leaders
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What do you love about your work?
What are some of your biggest challenges?
In Pairs
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SearchInsideYourself
EmotionalIntelligence
Neuroscience
Mindfulness
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• Self-Awareness
• Self-Management
• Motivation
• Empathy
• Social Skills
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VolatileUncertainComplexAmbiguous
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47% Average time spentMind-wandering
70% Leaders report regularly unable to be attentive in meetings
02% Regularly make time to enhance personal productivity
Killingsworth, 2010; Mindful Leadership Institute, 2010
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“Autopilot”Result =
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Autopilot Traits
• Attention is in the past or future
• Distracted
• Reactive or judgmental
• Act based on habit patterns and assumptions
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Viktor Frankl’s teachings, summarized by Steven Covey.
“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
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How to get off Autopilot?
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Mindfulness
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Mindfulness
“being present”
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Autopilot
Aware
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Self-Awareness
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1. Attention to breath
2. Relax body
3. Ask: What’s important now?
Micropractice
Three Breaths
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Practices - Mindfulness
1 Three Breaths
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Mindfulness Research Publications(PubMed)
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Neuroplasticity:Changes in Attention and Mind-Wandering
Brewer et al., 2011, image from Ricard et al. 2014
Default Mode Network (DMN)• Related to mind-wandering
and self-referential thinking.• Less active during meditation.• Meditation practice → greater
connectivity with attention management regions, even at when rest.
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In the moment “Integrated”
At the gym“Dedicated”
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Distraction
NoticeDistraction
Reorientationof Attention
FocusedAttentionProcess
FollowBreath
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Mindful Breathing
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Comments
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• We need skills for a VUCA world
• Mindfulness is the movement from Autopilot ➤ Aware
Summary
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Empathy
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What GoogleLearned FromIts Quest to Build ThePerfect Team.
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Autopilot Traits
• Attention is in the past or future
• Distracted
• Reactive or judgmental
• Act based on habit patterns and assumptions
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Movement from Autopilot ➤ Aware
Mindfulness:
Empathy:
Awareness ofothers
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Listening
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• What’s surprising to me lately in my life is…
• The kind of person I want to be is…
• OR … anything else
• A talks and B listens (bell)
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UN-Mindful Listening
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1. Settle the mind
2. See a similarity
3. Offer kindness
Micropractice
Shift to Connection
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Mindful Listening
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• What’s surprising to me lately in my life is…
• The kind of person I want to be is…
• OR … anything else
• A talks and B listens (bell)
• Switch roles
• Free-flow conversation
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Comments
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Remember how it feels to connect with others
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Autopilot
Aware
Connected
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Practices
Three Breaths Practice 1
Mindful Breathing 2
Mindful Listening 3
Shift to Connection 4
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• We need skills for a VUCA world
• Mindfulness is the movement from Autopilot ➤ Aware
• Awareness of others creates connection & empathy
• Find ways to practice, both dedicated and integrated
Summary
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Next Steps
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