Do Most Marriages End Because of an Affair? - 3 Steps to Ensure Yours Doesn’t

“Do most marriages end because of an affair?” I read that question in a recent forum and thought it would be a good one to touch on in an article. If you have recently been the victim of a cheating spouse yet you still want to save your marriage, here are three steps you need to take to ensure your marriage does not end because of an affair.

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In the context of this article, we are going to assume you and your offending spouse have at least communicated to the point where you have decided to try to make a go of salvaging your marriage. If he or she does not and they have already checked out of the marriage and have decided to move on, then really there is not much more you can do. But in this case let’s assume you are both willing to put forth the required effort to rebuild your relationship.

In the context of this article, we are going to assume you and your offending spouse have at least communicated to the point where you have decided to try to make a go of salvaging your marriage. If he or she does not and they have already checked out of the marriage and have decided to move on, then really there is not much more you can do. But in this case let’s assume you are both willing to put forth the required effort to rebuild your relationship.

Realize that when one spouse cheats on the other, there is a devastating effect on the emotional connection between the two of you. Typically, the breakdown of that connection was slowly dwindling anyway, which may have left an excuse for the affair to occur, but it suffers a major blow once the affair has occurred and indeed has been brought out in the open.

It is that emotional connection that you need to focus and rebuilding once again. No-one wants to be miserable in their relationship. You may be wondering to yourself how you are going to ever get to a point with your cheating spouse where you are having fun with them again and feel as though you can trust them once again.

It is that emotional connection that you need to focus and rebuilding once again. No-one wants to be miserable in their relationship. You may be wondering to yourself how you are going to ever get to a point with your cheating spouse where you are having fun with them again and feel as though you can trust them once again.

So to prevent your marriage from ending because of an affair, here are the three steps you need to focus on to rebuild that connection:

Step 1: Employ 100% Honesty and Transparency

Your first step is to come to an agreement with your spouse that you will from this point forward have a policy of being 100% open and honest with each other. Create an open door policy. Neither of you can have any secrets locked away in your “mental closet.”

Step 1: Employ 100% Honesty and Transparency

Your first step is to come to an agreement with your spouse that you will from this point forward have a policy of being 100% open and honest with each other. Create an open door policy. Neither of you can have any secrets locked away in your “mental closet.”

You may have had times in the past when you were talking to your spouse and you just had a feeling that they were not telling you the whole story. You just knew that there was more but you had no way of knowing what that “more” was. You have to agree to be 100% honest with each other, no matter where that leads.

Step 2: Set Ground Rules for Asking Questions

As a follow up to Step 1, using 100% honesty can at times have some bite to it and you could get shook up by some of the answers that you get in return. If you are inclined to ask your spouse questions that you are not sure you can handle the answers to, it is better off that you wait until you feel like you can.

Step 2: Set Ground Rules for Asking Questions

As a follow up to Step 1, using 100% honesty can at times have some bite to it and you could get shook up by some of the answers that you get in return. If you are inclined to ask your spouse questions that you are not sure you can handle the answers to, it is better off that you wait until you feel like you can. Another thing you want to avoid is beating down your cheating spouse with question after question. Your goal here is to survive the affair, not to just rehash it over and over. Ask questions that serve to be constructive and advance things in a positive manner.

You may even want to sit down with your spouse and decided what types of questions are ok to ask and what ones might be considered off limits. Be forthright when you answer questions, but also agree to be careful and use a bit of diplomacy when being honest with your answers.

You may even want to sit down with your spouse and decided what types of questions are ok to ask and what ones might be considered off limits. Be forthright when you answer questions, but also agree to be careful and use a bit of diplomacy when being honest with your answers.

Step 3: Arrange for Talk Dates

Sound odd? After an affair, it can often be difficult to re-instill normal and smooth communication. One or the other of you may have had a bad day, your offending spouse may not feeling like talking about the affair on a given day, or vice versa.

It is often a good idea to set aside talk dates. It may seem a bit un-natural or uncomfortable if your spouse and you have been together for many years to have to set up a formal time to talk, but if you are going to strengthen and salvage your marriage, this is a necessary step.

It is often a good idea to set aside talk dates. It may seem a bit un-natural or uncomfortable if your spouse and you have been together for many years to have to set up a formal time to talk, but if you are going to strengthen and salvage your marriage, this is a necessary step.

By scheduling a set day and time for discussion, it offers both of you the opportunity to prepare emotionally and psychologically, clearing your minds of other matters and giving your full focus to your spouse for a block of time. You will generally find after a period of time, your communication will improve again to the point where a formal time is not really necessary anymore.

It is often a good idea to set aside talk dates. It may seem a bit un-natural or uncomfortable if your spouse and you have been together for many years to have to set up a formal time to talk, but if you are going to strengthen and salvage your marriage, this is a necessary step.

By scheduling a set day and time for discussion, it offers both of you the opportunity to prepare emotionally and psychologically, clearing your minds of other matters and giving your full focus to your spouse for a block of time. You will generally find after a period of time, your communication will improve again to the point where a formal time is not really necessary anymore.

These steps will take time and patience to implement, but each one helps move your marriage forward, away from the period of infidelity and on toward a stronger, more powerful emotional connection.

These steps are just the very first you need to employ to ensure that your marriage does not end because of an affair. Whether you have experienced a cheating spouse or are afraid that it could occur, to restore the trust and save your marriage from divorce I strongly recommend for you to download the 7‐Part Survive an Affair course from Dr. Frank Gunzburg. Click here now for instant access: http://www.marriage-sherpa.info.

Taylor Ranidae is passionate about love and relationships and writes articles focusing on helping people save their relationships and marriages. Her articles are a must read for anyone who is looking to either salvage or further enhance their relationship.