Divorce

Factors Leading to Divorce

• The most common cause of The most common cause of divorce is divorce is selfishness.selfishness.

• It may be selfishness with money.

• It may be that a spouse is too selfish to have children, too selfish to care, to nurture a

spouse• Too selfish to apologize

Factors Leading to Divorce

• One spouse dominating the other• Not recognizing the needs of spouse

• Lack of appreciation for contribution to the marriage

• Other factors of divorce may be Other factors of divorce may be changing value system, physical and changing value system, physical and emotional abuse, religious differences emotional abuse, religious differences or alcohol/substance abuse.or alcohol/substance abuse.

Personal Problems Associated With Divorce.

• No one ever escapes from a divorce No one ever escapes from a divorce unscathed.unscathed.

• Hopes and dreams are replaced with feelings Hopes and dreams are replaced with feelings of rejection, security, and a loss of self-of rejection, security, and a loss of self-esteem.esteem.

• The 4 major arguments against divorce are:The 4 major arguments against divorce are:

1.1. Divorce hurts you.Divorce hurts you.

2.2. Divorce hurts those around you.Divorce hurts those around you.

3.3. Single life is not what it is cracked up to be.Single life is not what it is cracked up to be.

4.4. Financial and emotional costs are highFinancial and emotional costs are high

More Personal Problems Associated With Divorce.

• Divorce people have more illness, more Divorce people have more illness, more premature deaths, higher suicide rates and premature deaths, higher suicide rates and more accidents than those who are married.more accidents than those who are married.

• When we divorce we learn to doubt that any When we divorce we learn to doubt that any relationship can be permanent.relationship can be permanent.

• Children fear that they caused the divorce and Children fear that they caused the divorce and they feel rejected and alone.they feel rejected and alone.

Coping With Divorce• Dealing with divorce is similar to coping Dealing with divorce is similar to coping

with a death.with a death.• A person goes through three stages.A person goes through three stages.

1.1. Shock and numbness – one blocks out Shock and numbness – one blocks out reality, denial.reality, denial.

2.2. Reality – deep sadness and great Reality – deep sadness and great sense of loss, depression and anxiety.sense of loss, depression and anxiety.

3.3. Recovery – they give up their hopes Recovery – they give up their hopes and plans they had with the other and plans they had with the other person.person.

Divorce will not have the same effect on all children.

The consequences vary, depending on:The consequences vary, depending on:• children's ages, children's ages, • family characteristics, family characteristics, • level of family conflict, level of family conflict, • parent-child relationships, parent-child relationships, • socio-economic level, socio-economic level, • mental well-being of each parent, mental well-being of each parent, • maternal employment, maternal employment, • and amount of social support. and amount of social support.

• Some divorces bring relief to families while others leave the family Some divorces bring relief to families while others leave the family devastated.devastated.

Effects of Divorce by AgeAge Theme Symptoms What to do2-5 Abandonment Sleep Explain custodial

disturbances parent will return.

5-9 Displaced, School Discuss fears,Grief difficulties Contact with

non-custodial parent.

9-12 Acting out Spying, fight Patience, lovewith parents.

13+ Relationship Independence,Communication,

failure promiscuous encouragerelationships.

Adjusting to DivorceParents can help children adjust to divorce Parents can help children adjust to divorce

by: by:

1.1. decreasing conflict, decreasing conflict,

2.2. relationship with parents, relationship with parents,

3.3. economic stability, economic stability,

4.4. and consistent visitation.and consistent visitation.

The Major Challenges of Single Parenting Include:

1.1. Day Care IssuesDay Care Issues

2.2. Personal timePersonal time

3.3. Economic StabilityEconomic Stability