disclaimerudls/slides/2019-puneet-weddings.pdf · -to keep buri nazar (evil eye)...
TRANSCRIPT
Disclaimer1. I am Indian (like obviously)
2. These are stereotypical depictions of the Indian societya. But.. Stereotypes are often founded in empirical wisdom
3. I am far detached from this and acknowledge my privilege
4. Not here to make light of the societal “challenges”
Background● Segregation of the sexes
● Parental oversight (overreach ?)
● Large joint families○ Often under one roof
● “Honour”
Stage I: Dropping Hints
Stage II: Pestering
● Relentless inquiry to find out if
you’re seeing someone
● Meaningful looks and sighs
● Random aunties asking
uncomfortable questions
● Even worse: you dad asks you
about your GF/BF 💩 💩 💩
● Younger siblings recruited to
spy
Stage III: Despair and Resignation
Stage IV: Formation of a Search Committee1. Association of Bored Aunties and Uncles2. Create accounts on matrimonial websites3. Calculate Dowry4. Arrange headshots
Stage V: Screening Process1. Define (reasonable) search parameters
a. Incomeb. Family incomec. Caste etc.d. Colour of skine. Citizenshipf. Education
g. School attendedi. IIT > BITS > NIT >>> restii. IIM above everything elseiii. IIT + IIM = 💕
h. Number of siblings
Stage VI: In-Person Interviews*
* Chaperoned. By extended families from both sides. Obviously. Like Duh!
Stage VII: “Dates” a.k.a getting to know him/her better *
* Not in the biblical sense
Stage VIII: Finalizing the Contract(Engagement or roka ceremony)
Wedding Week
Mehendi (Henna) ceremony
Mehendi (Henna) ceremony
Wedding Day : T-16 hours- Haldi (Turmeric
Ceremony)- To Keep Buri Nazar (Evil Eye) Away
- Auspiciousness of this ingredient and its colour ushers in a life of prosperity for the couple
- For Beautification
- Makeshift Fair & Lovely
Also has lots of song and dance
Wedding Day : T-12 hours- Pagri (Turban) tying & Tilak
Wedding Day: T-10 hrs (Baraat)
Wedding Day: T- 8 hrs (Varmaala)
Wedding Day: T- 6 hrsAwkward dances
Awkward meet and greet
Awkward photo sessions
Wedding Day: T- 6 hrsAwkward dances
Awkward meet and greet
Awkward photo sessions
- Kanya Daan (ughh)- Vivah Homa : The sacred fire is lit 🔥- Pani Grahan: groom takes the bride's hand as a sign of their union - Walking around the fire (saptapadi)
Actual Wedding Rituals
Meanwhile...
Finding the bottom of the cash pile
Isha Ambani https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NpQ-JQClD5Q
Total Cost: $110 Million
Cost of the dress: 1,208,475,000.00 CAD
Guests: Clintons, Indian PM, BEYONCE
Go get drunk now
Off with y’all
Follow the ABC(Adam : Beer Czar)