discipline for self esteem

7/31/2019 Discipline for Self Esteem

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Disciplining for HighSelf-Esteem

Guiding Social behaviors


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Goals To develop an understanding of differentguidance philosophies

To understand effective disciplinetechniques and to develop appropriatemeasures to use with children

To gain an understanding of what factors

affect childrens behaviors


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A Definition of Discipline Discipline is a positive approach toteach a child self-control andconfidence. As opposed topunishment, discipline techniquesfocus on what we want the child tolearn and what he/she is capable of

learning. It is a process, not a singleact.


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A Definition of

Punishment Punishment focuses on themisbehavior and may do little ornothing to help a child behave betterin the future. Punishing rather thandisciplining teaches the child thatthe adult, rather than the child, is

responsible for the way the childbehaves


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What do we expect?

Tasks of Social Development Recognize self as separate

Become responsive to others Learn right from wrong

Make decisions

Develop self control Learn from consequences and take

responsibility for choices


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Philosophies Dreikurs Four goals of Misbehavior In order to address the misbehavior,

the adult needs to understand thegoal of the misbehavior Attention Power

Revenge Inadequacy


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Behavior Management The childs behavior is under the control

of the environment and can be changedby the adult through some kind ofenvironmental manipulation


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Democratic Life Skills See ones self as a worthy individual and acapable member of the group

Express strong emotions in positive ways solve problems ethically and intelligently Be understanding of the feelings and

viewpoints of others

Work cooperatively n groups, withacceptance among members


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Questions to Ask

Yourself Is the child doing something trulywrong? Is there a real problem here,

or are you just tired and out ofpatience? Who owns the problem? If there is no real problem, release your

stress away from the child

If there is a problem go to


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Think for a moment. Is your childreally capable of doing what you

expect here? If you are not being fair, re-evaluateyour expectations

If your expectations are clear and aredevelopmentally appropriate


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Did the child know at the time that shewas doing something wrong? If not, help her understand what you expect

and why, and how she can do that. Offer yourhelp.

If the child knew that it was wrong, and shedeliberately disregarded a reasonable

expectation, your child misbehaved


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Factors That Can Cause

Children To Act Out Emotional-temperament, anger, defiance, assertiveness,frustration, anxiety, fear, boredom

Classroom/Environment-too many children,excessive noise and stimulation, developmentallyinappropriate activities and environment, NO, lack ofclearly stated or enforced rules

Physical/Developmental-poor nutrition, hunger,

fatigue, illness, pain, allergies, inappropriate developmentalguidelines


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Temperament and Individualdifferences- the preferred style ofresponding-the hard drive of our personality

Environmental- peer influence, seasonalfactors, poor housing, poverty, violence in thecommunity

Cultural & Family Influences- overlycontrolling discipline, sibling rivalry, divorce,excessive work-related travel, serious illness ordeath, substance abuse. Parenting styles, culturaldifferences in guidance and discipline


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Temperament

Know anyone ? Trouble maker Disrespectful

Boastful Destructive Hyper Bossy Unpredictable

Stubborn Explosive

Picky, touchy Defiant Rebellious Explosive Argumentative


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Lets Redesign the Label If the child is.

Trouble maker..

Disrespectful Boastful.

Destructive

Hyper

Bossy Unpredictable

How about this instead

Inquisitive & Curious

Outspoken, passionate Confident

Creative

Energetic

Leader Creative problem solver


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Redesigning Stubborn Explosive..

Picky, touchy.

Demanding

Rebellious ----------

Extreme------------

Argumentative------

Persistent

Dramatic

Sensitive

Holds high standards

Independent

Tenderhearted

Committed to onesgoals


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Guidance & Discipline Discipline is the development of theskills and tools that are needed to

work through lifes problems. It is inthe process of learning to face anddeal with problems that we learn andgrow. It is life-long training andexperience in developing self-control


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Guidelines forDisciplining Young

Children General Guidelines

Communicate what you are doing andwhy

Check to see if communication is clear

Trust children

Trust yourself

Build good relationships


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Discipline Techniques The type of discipline used influencesthe type of person a child

becomesWhat type of discipline doyou use? What type of person do youwant the child to become?


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Discipline as Preventing

Unacceptable Behavior Set up an appropriate environment Let the environment provide the limits

Model appropriate behavior Redirect energy

Provide physical control when necessary

Teach appropriate expression of feelings Meet their needs


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Specific techniques Reinforcement: techniques used tostrengthen a behavior by focusing on

what is taking place Redirection: focusing on what a child

is doing that is inappropriate and

helping the child figure out whatthey CAN do


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Fix-up-when children cause trouble orhurt another child, expect them to fix itup-or at least try to help.

Ignore-the best way to deal withmisbehavior aimed at getting yourattention is to simply ignore it. But besure to give attention to your childrenwhen they behave. Children need

attention for good behavior-not just whenthey misbehave


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Be firm: clearly and firmly state, oreven demand, that the child do whatneeds to be done. Speak in a tone

that lets the child know you meanwhat you say and that you expect thechild to do as he is told.


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Stay in control: act before thesituation gets out control---before

you get angry and overly frustratedand before the childs behaviorbecomes unreasonable


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Natural or Logical

Consequences Natural consequences-the direct result of achilds behavior.

What would be natural consequences of thefollowing behaviors?

Your 12 year old is watching TV and fails to respondwhen told dinner is ready Your child is unkind to others

Sometimes NC cannot take place When it is too dangerous

It make take too long for a natural consequence to occuror it may infringe upon the rights of others


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Logical consequences-consequences thatare arranged. Should be related to theundesirable behavior.

What are logical consequences to thefollowing situations? Your preschool child is teasing the dog

Your child borrows your tools and then leavesthem out in the rain


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How to use Natural and

Logical Consequences Make sure the rule is clearly understood Discuss the possible consequences of

failure to follow rule

Allow the natural consequences of a childsactions to occur, or, apply the logicalconsequences in a firm and consistent

manner


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When your are guiding and

disciplining, ask yourself What am I reflecting to the children in

my life?

What am I teaching Am I expressing patience and compassion?

Do I model this behavior in my own life?

Am I being respectful to the child and tomyself?

How can I teach more lovingly and effectively?


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A torn jacket is soon

mendedbut harsh words

wound the heart of the child.

Longfellow

discipline for self esteem

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