Descriptive Writing

S4 Revision Class

In this lesson, we will…

• Learn some effective techniques to be used when writing a descriptive piece:

Structure Senses Imagery Vivid language

A good structure provides shape to your writing and is crucial for a high grade.

This can be achieved in several ways, for example, by describing each of the 'stills' from your 'video' location by location.

Other structures that work are:

from inside to outside... from then to now... from the 'general' to the 'particular'...

Structure

“A picture is worth a thousand words”.

In descriptive writing the aim is to show the reader a scene NOT tell them about it.

Senses

An effective piece of descriptive writing makes the reader feel as if they are there. One way in which it does this is by making use of senses.

You don’t experience the world just through your sight, so why should your reader?

Sight – what does it look like?

Smell what does it smell like?

Hearing what does it sound like?

Taste what does it taste like?

Touch – what does it feel like?

A few yards of floor are like a landscape to be negotiated, in the slow setting out time has almost stopped. I concentrate my life to his: crunch of spilt sugar, slidy puddle from the night’s umbrellas, table edges, people’s feet, hiss of the coffee-machine, voices and laughter, smell of a cigar, hamburgers, wet coats steaming, and the slow dangerous inches to the stairs.

“In the Snackbar” by Edwin Morgan

Now it’s your turn!

Can you imagine a trip to a restaurant or cafe?

What might you see, touch, smell, taste and hear?

Imagery

SimilesMetaphorsOnomatopoeiaPersonification

Imagery is a great tool to use in order to strengthen your description. However don’t overdo it!

You only need a liberal sprinkling of metaphors and similes to add to your description – any more and you risk overkill!

Now you must use imagery in your description of the cafe/restaurant:

Simile: Use a simile to describe what something taste/smelt like.

Metaphor: Use a metaphor to describe what something felt/looked like.

Onomatopoeia: Use onomatopoeia in your description of what something sounded like.

Try and use interesting word-choice – don’t stick with conventionally dull words such as “nice”.

Avoid excessive use of adjectives and adverbs – use precise “muscular” words. Avoid excessive description – you don’t have to describe everything, if you try to your writing will sound like a shopping list!

Vivid Language

We walked into the restaurant through a normal looking brown door with a small window and a brass doorknob. The dining room was rectangular with a large window on each side. The floor was covered in a green carpet and it had seven wooden tables with four chairs at each table. Each table was laid with: cutlery, napkins, wine glasses and a white tablecloth. There were several waiters each wearing a uniform of black trousers and a white shirt. One of the waiters offered me a menu from a big pile of menus beside the till.

The restaurant was a traditional looking place which we entered through an unremarkable doorway. The dining room was flooded with sunlight, creating a dazzling first impression as the rays of light were reflected off of the tables that had been set for dinner. One of the waiters detached himself from the flock of others that were flitting around the room and glided across the lush green floor towards us. “Good evening” he said, as he offered us each a red, leather-clad menu.

Verbs are the action words of language.

One way of making your writing more interesting is to use strong verbs rather than neutral ones.

Verbs such as walk and talk do not really help the reader build a vivid mental picture of the scene that you are describing. There are many other verbs that can be used to describe the actions of walking or talking more effectively.

Ways of walking:

Stroll Stride Shuffle Strut Amble Stagger Plod Saunter Pace

Ways of talking:

Chatter Babble Whisper Mumble Mutter Squeal Gasp Squeak Drawl

The sensory details you select in your writing should create for your reader the same picture you have in your mind. Instead of using vague, general words, your sensory language should be concrete and sensory-packed. This makes the difference between vivid and vague language. Vary sentence structure.

What to Avoid When Using Sensory DetailToo many adjectives--retain only the most powerful words in your writing, deleting any unnecessary words  Too many adverbs--verbs are stronger than adverbs            She strolled into the room is more powerful than She walked casually into the room. Clichéd figures of speech--overused language, such as green with envy, signals a lack of imagination. Use fresh, descriptive words that go against rote thinking.