Descriptive Writing Portfolio

“Either write something worth reading or dosomething worth writing.” ­Benjamin Franklin

Prerna Das

Discussing your Descriptive passage

Passage 1

1. What is the subject of this description

2. What aspects of the subject does the author show to the reader?

3. How does this impact on the way you “see” the subject in yourimagination?

4. What images does the author use throughout the piece?

5. What dominant impression do these techniques develop?

6.What unique observation has the author made?

7. List of strong verbs and vocabulary used

juxtaposition cornice

]8. Senses used

Discussion

This descriptive passage is from the book “ The Haunting of Hill House” by Shirley Jackson. Inthis passage, the author creates a dark and evil dominant impression by using words andphrases to describe a particular house. Normally, when we imagine a house, we imagine abright house with white walls and a brightly coloured roof but the way the author describes thehouse, the imagery changes and imagine a totally different house.

Firstly, the author starts out with a capturing sentence which is also very depressing, “No humaneye can isolate the unhappy coincidence of line and place which suggests evil in the face of ahouse” , This sentence starts us off with a very depressing point of view. The author issuggesting that the house is so evil and dark that it cannot be ignored and that the darkness ofthe house is depressing. The very first sentence adds to the dominant impression of thispassage which is dark and evil. After creating a dark mood, the author continues and talks abouthow the sky and the roof of the house contrast by using the term “maniac juxtaposition” whichmeans that the fact that the roof and the sky are seen together creates such a contrast that it’swild and bizarre. Given the dominant impression, this makes the reader imagine the house as aplace of no happiness and full of horror. Following that, the author uses the phrase “place ofdespair” to describe this ‘Hill House.’ This tells us that the surrounding are unhappy and it gives avery lazy impression to the house meaning that nothing exciting will take place here. The authoralso describes the house as “frightening”. This is interesting because this just drains every tinybit of life from the house because the house is already said to be sad and now it’s scary as wellwhich means that it’s very isolated and there is no sign of life around it. The author thencontinues to personify the house by telling us that the house seemed awake in the sentence “theface of Hill House seemed awake” This is a way adds to the scariness of the house because ifsomething so dark is awake, it’s probably not up to any good. The eyes are the windows and theauthor mentions the sentence, “watchfulness from the blank windows”. This adds to thepersonification and the dark windows add to the dominant impression and they are said to bewatching us, this creates an uncomfortable feeling in the reader. Even though there is emphasison the evil of the house, more emphasis is applied through the sentence “touch of glee in theeyebrow of a cornice”. I personally think this sentence emphasises on the evil part as it seemslike the house is plotting something evil. The author then talks about other houses making peoplefeel secure and finally, the last sentence “arrogant and hating, never off guard, can only be evil” ,The author ends the passage with adding to the dominant impression like he did at the starting.The reader then thinks of the house as a place to watch out for and never visit because badthings happen in places in these.

Passage 2

1. What is the subject of this description

2. What aspects of the subject does the author show to the reader?

3. How does this impact on the way you “see” the subject in yourimagination?

4. What images does the author use throughout the piece?

5. What dominant impression do these techniques develop?

6.What unique observation has the author made?

7. List of strong verbs and vocabulary used

Plowing Eddies Protruded

8. Senses used

DiscussionThis descriptive passage is from the book “Paul’s Case” by Willa Cather. In this passage, Theauthor focuses on the cold and uneasiness of the winter as a dominant impression. Usuallywhen people talk about a particular winter, they describe it to be a wonderful time of the year andpeople have fun in the winter because of the snow but in this passage, the author is a bit morerealistic and he focuses on the uneasiness of the winter which most people go through. Heexpresses his ideas by using a set of words and phrases.

Firstly, The author uses the word “Plowing” to describe the motion of the train which suggeststhat the train is undergoing some difficulties while going to the destination which adds to theuneasiness part of the dominant impression. In the same sentence, the author mentions a“January snowstorm.” January is usually chilled in the winter and if there is a snowstorm, it’seven colder. the storm suggests that people have trouble getting around and the cold at this timeof the year does not help. The author uses the phrase “the dull dawn” to emphasise on the lackof excitement for the sun. Normally, a dawn is beautiful as light is emerging but the dawn isdescribed as dull as the winter covers up its beauty. The dawn is said to be “ grey” but a dawnusually emerges with a mix of several colours. A character is mentioned but he is said to be inan “uneasy slumber” which is also suggesting the uneasiness of the winter. I think it suggest theuneasiness because usually in the summer we have to switch on fans and air conditioners but inthe winters we don’t need any of that, we just need to protect ourselves from the cold and evenafter being cuddled in a blanket we do feel cold. This just emphasises on the dominantimpression. Not only do these things focus on the cold but the author uses the phrase“breath­misted window­glass” to show us the cold. This happens when there is extreme coldand the glasses form a layer of mist and it can happen by the use of an air­conditioner but in thiscase, it’s the winter.

Next, the author mentions Snow. This suggest that it is extremely cold where they are snow ispresent and usually snow is only present in extreme cold weathers. The Imagery of the

snowstorm is emphasised upon when the author says that the snow was “whirling” whichsuggests the rapid speed of the snow and that snow is shooting in every direction in a storm.This can be very inconvenient. We can also tell that the snow is moving in every direction as theauthor describes the snow in a whirlpool type manner by using the word “eddies.” Then we findout what happened before now, we find out that it had been snowing since before this becausethe author has used the phrase “white bottom lands” which suggests that the land is alreadycovered with snow along with the phrase “already deep in the fields” which just tells us that thesnow has covered the ground in several layers for it to be deep. The scenery can be imaginedas very dull and covered with snow not only because of the previous phrases but because theauthor says that the greeny had died out by using the phrase “tall dead grass and driedweed­stalks” to show us that nature could not survive against the cold. Lastly, the authordescribes how the people living in this condition are holding up by telling us that “Lights shonefrom the scattered houses” which means that people are locked up in their homes and no onewants to be out in the cold. All of these words and phrases add to the imagery and dominantimpression.

Passage 3

1. What is the subject of this description

2. What aspects of the subject does the author show to the reader?

3. How does this impact on the way you “see” the subject in yourimagination?

4. What images does the author use throughout the piece?

5. What dominant impression do these techniques develop?

6.What unique observation has the author made?

7. List of strong verbs and vocabulary used

grueling

8. Senses used

Discussion

This descriptive passage called “The Longest Race” and it is written by Kristian Anderson. Thedominant impression that the author focuses on for this topic is the feeling of being tired or wornout and he has developed that dominant impression by using specific words and phrases toshow us his description instead of telling it to us.

The author starts of the passage by using the word “grueling” to describe the race. The wordgrueling means demanding and tiring so, the starting of the passage has already started to addonto the dominant impression. Then the author described his dirt bike by using the phrase“plastered with so much brown, wet, sticky mud that you couldn’t even read the number plates.”That suggests that the rider of the bike had ridden the bike through a dirt track which is prettytiring and hard to get through but the fact that the dirt was fresh and the bike was full of dirtsuggests that the race had just finished and that it was not a short race and thus it must havebeen tiring. Then, the author describes the rider’s boots’ condition by using the words “muddybrown dirt” which also implies that the dirt track was very dirty and the rider riding his bikethrough it got dirty due to the hard work. Next, the author says that “His riding pants were soakedand covered with mud on the front” which suggest that he was riding at a fast speed which mademud splash to his front because the slashes would reach the back too late and the moment thebike went in the mud, it splashed onto him. The author then emphasises on the dominantimpression by using the phrase “body looked beaten” which is pretty straight forewardsuggesting that was looked tired and he was sweating. Lastly, the author ends the passage bytelling us that it was a “very tiring race.” for Chad, the rider.

Passage 4

1. What is the subject of this description

2. What aspects of the subject does the author show to the reader?

3. How does this impact on the way you “see” the subject in yourimagination?

4. What images does the author use throughout the piece?

5. What dominant impression do these techniques develop?

6.What unique observation has the author made?

7. List of strong verbs and vocabulary used

mirage ceaseless

8. Senses used

DiscussionThis passage is from “The Lord of the Flies” by William golding. This passage is very descriptiveand gives us a very clear imagery of the blue ocean waves crashing onto rocks and thenretreating back before the cycle continues. To give such a clear imagery, William Golding usescertain words and phrases to develop his ideas. The dominant impression of this passage ishow graceful the ocean is.

The author starts off by using the phrase “ enchantments of mirage” to describe the ocean whichsuggest that the ocean is pleasant and that it’s an optical illusion to describe it’s beauty whichadds to the dominant impression of how graceful the ocean is. The author says that the “horizonwas hard, clipped blue” suggesting that the ocean was gracefully spread out through the scenerywhich adds to the beauty of this situation. The author then describes the ocean with the phrase“the ceaseless, bulging passage of the deep sea waves.” This suggests that the ocean looksnever ending and that waves are visible. Then, the author moves onto describing the oceanwaves. he describes the waves as “momentous rise and fall of the ocean.” This reminds me of aperson breathing which is very calming and soothing which adds to the dominant impression. Hesays that the waves are “making cascades and waterfalls of retreating water.” A waterfall andcascade is very graceful and it looks like flowing hair which makes us think of the ocean withfeminine qualities. The author does mention”shining hair” to describe the ocean. Lastly, theauthor mentions that ocean “rises with roar” which shows us the power of the ocean and howsmoothly the ocean does that. All these things add to the dominant impression.

Changing the aspect

Planning

Passage 1:

No human eye can isolate the unhappy coincidence of line and place which suggests evil in theface of a house, and yet somehow a maniac juxtaposition, a badly turned angle, some chancemeeting of roof and sky, turned Hill House into a place of despair, more frightening because theface of Hill House seemed awake, with a watchfulness from the blank windows and a touch ofglee in the eyebrow of a cornice. Almost any house, caught unexpectedly or at an odd angle, canturn a deeply humorous look on a watching person; even a mischievous little chimney, or adormer like a dimple, can catch up a beholder with a sense of fellowship; but a house arrogantand hating, never off guard, can only be evil.

1. Identify the aspect you will change specifically:

2. How do you think changing this aspect will impact on the dominantimpression of your passage? Identify the specific impacts?

3. Explain why you feel these changes will have the impacts you haveoutlined above?

Changed aspect:

No human eye can isolate the anomalous emission erupting from this place which suggestsbenevolent in the face of a house, and yet somehow an abnormal juxtaposition, a unique outlookturned Hill House into a place of bliss, very reassuring because the face of the Hill Houseseemed awake, with mindfulness from the polished, clear windows and a touch of caution in theeyebrow of a cornice. Almost any house, caught unexpectedly or at an odd angle can turn adeeply humorous look on a watching person; even a mischievous little chimney, or a dormer likea dimple can catch up a beholder with a sense of fellowship; but a house humble and cheerful,always looking out for other, can only be outstanding.

Rationale

In this passage, I chose to turn the Hill House into a happy place because originally the HillHouse was a very evil and dark place and by changing that one aspect of the passage, the wholedominant impression changes and now the house fits into the environment unlike before when itwould stand out and people would want nothing to do with the house. I chose to change thewindows to clear because dark windows suggest darkness but I have changed the aspect so, nomore darkness. I also changed the negative vibe to a positive vibe so that people do not fear thishouse anymore. Specifically, I changed words of negative meaning and changed them intowords such as bliss, benevolent etc. In my opinion, changing this aspect has completelychanged the passage.

Planning

Passage 2

1. Identify the aspect you will change specifically:

2. How do you think changing this aspect will impact on the dominantimpression of your passage? Identify the specific impacts?

3. Explain why you feel these changes will have the impacts you haveoutlined above?

Changed aspect:

The east­bound train was easing it’s way through an October leaf­shed; the mysteriousyellow­orange dawn was beginning to show when the engine whistled a mile out of Newark. Paulstarted up from the where where he had slept easily without a blanket in a perfect slumber due tothe perfect weather. The weather was not too hot or too cold, it was pleasant. After he awoke, hepeered out through the clear glass window. The leaves were floating around, going along with thewind. The fields were full of leaves of many different colours and the trees were sheddingcontinuously. People were out rolling in the leaves and enjoying themselves and a gang oflaborers who stood by the track waved their leaf mowers.

Rationale

In this passage, I chose to turn the icy cold weather into a nice pleasant weather by changing thetime of year the passage was written in. Changing the snow into leaves was interesting becausethey both have completely different effects. Both are beautiful but only one is more relaxing thanthe other. Changing the weather meant changing the way people lived and the items they carriedsuch as changing lanterns into leaf mowers. I also had to change the uneasy feeling Paul hadbecause in autumn the weather is not nearly as uneasy as the winters. In my opinion, changingthe weather completely changed the dominant impression into a pleasant sort of weather. So, inconclusion, changing one aspect can completely change the passage.