Commemorative 25th Edition December 25, 2019

BY CLARK W. GRISWOLD, JR.NutraTox Syndicate International

LITITZ, Pa. - Was I surprised when the Reitz family asked me, a food additive chemist, to write their Christmas newsletter? If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet I wouldn’t be more surprised than I am right now. But since they offered me membership into the Jelly-of-the-Month Club as payment—the gift that keeps on giving the whole year, as Cousin Eddie once said—I figured, what could possibly be worse?

So let’s whistle zip-a-dee-doo-da and see what they did in 2019.

You Gotta Be Proud

It was a year of milestones. Rick marked his 50th birthday; quietly and with little fanfare. Rick and Lisa celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary. That’s known as the Silver Anniversary, Russ. Without warning, Dylan entered his teen years, shortly

after starting his middle school career. And look at how much Hannah has grown up … she turned 18 in March, graduated from Warwick High School in June (with a graduation party with friends and family at Lititz Springs Park), and in August she started her freshman year at Lebanon Valley College, where she’s pursuing her early childhood education degree—a dream of hers since kindergarten. The first semester went well for the future teacher. She is working at Wendy’s

over her break, like she did for the past 3 summers. A National Honor Society student, she graduated near the top of her class, and earned LVC’s Presidential Scholarship. Smart kid!

The Ol’ Front-Wheel Drive Sleigh

After a year of lessons with her Dad, Hannah earned her driver’s license on her first attempt in February. But they could’ve called me for some tips. My record is spotless, and nothing beats

2019 Reitz Family Newsletter home.ptd.net/~buzznbea 1

THE REITZ STUFF

Our 2019 Family Christmas Newsletter

Dylan and Hannah - Christmas 2019

Hannah’s Graduation Party - A Farewell to WHS!

Enjoy a Classic Christmas VacationDon’t Displease Poseidon

Continued on Page 2

Celebrating the Graduate LVC Bound!

Commemorative 25th Edition December 25, 2019

driving the old Wagon Queen Family Truckster. (You may think you hate it now … but wait until you drive it!)

Play Ball!

It was another exciting year of soccer for the Reitz family. Hannah brought her soccer career to a close after 23 seasons. Since kindergarten she has played recreational, travel, school and indoor soccer (and a season as Dad’s assistant coach). Lititz Mayhem had its most successful season in Hannah’s three years with the team. Hannah scored the team’s first goal of the season, and ended her career with a 2-1 win over Cocalico!

Dylan excelled at striker for his team, Lititz Steel, in 2019 (coached again by Dad). It was a low-scoring spring season, but they shined in the tournament, earning 2nd place. Things got more exciting in the fall for Lititz Steel. After starting the season 0-3, they steadily improved and entered the four-game Solanco tournament with a 3-4-1 record (with Dylan scoring four goals this season). They had a spectacular tournament, earning shutouts in 3 of the games, including a 0-0 tie with Penn Legacy, which had beaten them 6-3 earlier in the season. Not only did they end the season with a winning record, but they performed well enough to earn 1st place in their group … the first after 9 attempts for Lititz Steel! And Dylan scored 4 of the team’s goals at the tournament!

Can’t Even Afford to Be an Elf

Thanks to the simultaneous demise of their old furnace, water heater, and central air conditioner, the Reitz family decided to forego any thoughts of a lavish vacation and spent their free time close to home, choosing instead to enjoy more efficient and less toxic gas heat, hot water, and cool air. But don’t worry, they managed to cram some activities into the year, and had more fun than a Mississippi leg hound at a short pants convention. In March, Dylan and Dad caught The Monkees’

Mike and Micky Show, the concert that had to be rescheduled last summer. Of course, they went backstage afterward to hang out with Micky Dolenz a bit (didn’t get to see Nez … had to hit the road early due to the heavy snow). Hannah took a 5-day trip with the Warwick H.S. Music Department to Tennessee in

April, where she visited Memphis, Nashville, performed at Graceland, and rode the rides at Dollywood. Since then, she has become a huge fan of some singer named Elvis Presley. In February, Dylan enjoyed his first Harlem Globetrotters game with Grandma and Grandpa Reitz and Dad. In June, Dylan, Dad and Grandpa took to the trails for a camping/bike trip on the scenic Great Allegheny

Trail near Ohiopyle. They covered over 50 miles on the trip, a personal best for Dylan. Then in August, Dad and the kids spent a fun and sunny day on the beach at Ocean City, NJ.

Hannah finished her high school orchestra career with an emotional spring performance, and performed with the LLMEA county orchestra. She continuing play viola at college with the LVC orchestra, and was part of their amazing show in November. Dylan continues to excel at the violin. His final elementary school show was wonderful, and in the fall he performed with the LLMEA middle school orchestra, followed by a marvelous WMS holiday show. Expect more concerts from both kids in 2020!

Dylan would make me eat cat food-flavored gelatin if I didn’t remind you

about Mineplay, the very successful Minecraft server he manages, featuring some extremely clever parkour challenges he designed for players around the world.

I now join the Reitz family in wishing you the hap-hap-happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny *uh* just Danny Kaye. Hallelujah! Where’s the Tylenol?

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Continued from Page 1

Music Trip to TennesseeGreat Allegheny Trail Riders

Rick Reitz Clark Griswold Lisa Reitz Ellen GriswoldHannah Reitz Audrey Griswold Dylan Reitz Rusty Griswold

The Reitz Stuff 2019 Newsletter

Halloween 2019: Mr. Beast & Pennywise

Tournament Champion!!

On Stage with Dylan at the Holiday Concert