Is your Tech style somewhat lacking? Are the “real yoopers” laughing at your Ugg boots, your leggings, and your poofy North Face jackets? No worries, that’s what I’m here for. Here is a head to toe over-view of how to dress for the winter and be accept-ed by the ladies, gentlemen, and chemical engineers of the north.

Boots: obviously the style of your footwear matters. If you’re walking around on anything with fur trim, fancy patterns, heels, or the dreaded Ugg boot, ditch it immediately. Go buy yourself a pair of steel toes, ya hoser. Make sure they have thinsulate lining and a waterproof exterior. Of course it will cost you all your money, you want boots that will last you for decades! Eons! IF you look at your shoes and say “this looks like something an NMU student would wear”, KILL IT WITH FIRE!

Socks: Get the good wool socks. You don’t want to be caught unprepared in the snowpocalypse. If you’ve got something with cutesy patterns, stop wearing them. Make them into a hideous sock mon-key to terrorize your friends. The sock monkeys are always watching…

Pants: Get a pair of flannel lined jeans. Wear them until they are so dirty you look like you work on a construction site that took part in a merger with a pig farm. Rinse and repeat.

Tips on Yooper Fashionby Zambi ~ Daily Bull, essentially

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Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Work work. Something need doing?Be happy too! Ooki Dokey

Blue Key has recently announced that they are creating a new a category of snow statue’s for this year’s Winter Carnival; they will now be judging snow statues that are created entirely out of yellow snow. This addition comes as Blue Key was forced to address the issue of the lack of bathroom facilities available during the All Nighter. Last year’s Carnival was plagued with the issue of a lack of facilities due to what was reported as an all-time-high for alcohol consumption during that night.

“Due to the increased admissions to Michigan Tech in the recent years and the increased number of individu-als who enjoy the all nighter as opposed to those who would rather spend all night playing League of Legends in their rooms, stores such as Jim’s Food Mart have reported that alcohol sales are at a level higher than its been in the past few decades” stated the Blue Key President when reached for comment.

In the Winter Carnival statue judging guidelines for the ”Yellow Snow Statues” they note on how certain types of statues can be rewarded bonus points for statues that engage the audience.“All Yellow Snow Statues will be judged based upon three categories: Purity of the yellow snow, creative in-corporation of pee into the statue, and most importantly audience participation with the finished statue.”

When asked about the definition of what “audience

New Category of Snow Statues for Winter Carnival

by Alex Dinsmoor ~ Daily Bull

see Niacin on back see Thiamin on back

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Get your tickets TODAY!

Kohler Business and Dining Etiquette DinnerThursday, February 14Tickets are $10.00 (refunded to you at the event). Call Career Services for tickets at 487-2313

Resume BlitzTuesday & Wednesday, January 29 & 30

MUB Commons; 11am – 2pm

Representatives from Kimberly-Clark & Jack-son will be there to help!

Flannel: The flannel shirt is the meat and potatoes of yooper clothing, the focus point, the essential, the main course of style. Wear them whenever the weather is cold enough, say 5 degrees or below. Experts recommend having a flan-nel shirt for every day of the week, but if you want to wear the same one for 7 days and smell terrible, that’s up to you. Don’t get caught without one!

The Stormy Kromer: This fan-tastic hat completes the look so perfectly, your friends won’t be able to tell that you’re not really from the UP. It is versatile, fashionable, and all the cool kids are wearing one. “But it makes me look like an old man!” Who gives a shit? THIS IS FASHION!

Accessories: All you need is a good pocketknife and a multitool, something by

participation” entailed, Blue Key pointed to things such as giant toilets people can pee into, life sized outhouses with working plumbing, target-like games in which people would try to aim at specific targets in order to amass points, reverse water fountain sculptures (in Houghton, statue doesn’t pee on you, you pee on statue!), and artistic waterfalls. Penis sculptures will also be encour-aged as long as the yellow snow is tastefully portrayed into the body of the sculpture (think giant peeing dicks). Another important rule to consider is that all statues must be finished by 4PM of the Wednesday of the all nighter so they are able to be utilized without the possibility of a worker being urinated on.

When the Houghton community learned about this year’s change to the statue landscape, many of them were ecstatic. “In my years as a student here at MTU, I’ve dealt with quite a few Blue Key mishaps, be it poor communication, lack of planning, or poorly run events. However after hearing of this addition to Carnival, I once again have faith. No longer will I have to pee on the sides of the buildings during the all nighter!” stated one overjoyed student.

It is unknown at this time of how many groups are participating in this category of statue, but I know everyone can agree that peeing in a giant ice toilet while drunk would be the highlight of many person’s Carny.

from Thiamin on front

from Niacin on front

I think being able to pee in this would be really cool!

Here we see a Yooper doing it wrong with no application of flannel. Though his style may be an 8, he loses points on form and technique, and was disquali-fied by the East Marquette judge who gave him a 5. Always next year Yooper!

Gerber or Leatherman. If you have an off-brand knife, you will be a laughing stock. No exceptions. Get yourself a good pocketknife. Do it.

If you, dear friends, have followed all of my rules, you will fit in to the town of Hoton perfectly and no one will ever confuse you with an NMU student. If you haven’t… well, good luck playing broomball in your fancy-people boots, you sieve.

Now this man, he’s sporting a more common Yooper fashion. Look to him for advice.