crucial conversations based on the book by: by kerry patterson, joseph grenny, ron mcmillan and al...

Crucial ConversationsCrucial Conversations based on the book by:based on the book by:

By Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, By Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny,

Ron McMillan and Al SwitzlerRon McMillan and Al Switzler

Geraldine Roberts-MooreGeraldine Roberts-MooreWendy ZdebWendy Zdeb

Rochester Community SchoolsRochester Community Schools

Crucial ConversationsCrucial Conversations

What makes a conversation “crucial” vs. What makes a conversation “crucial” vs. typical?typical? First, opinions varyFirst, opinions vary Second, the stakes are highSecond, the stakes are high Third, emotions run strongThird, emotions run strong

Crucial Conversations Crucial Conversations

How do we typically handle crucial How do we typically handle crucial conversations:conversations: We can avoid themWe can avoid them We can face them and handle them poorlyWe can face them and handle them poorly We can face them and handle them wellWe can face them and handle them well


Why don’t crucial conversations tend to go Why don’t crucial conversations tend to go well?well? Emotions tend to ruleEmotions tend to rule Your body physically reactsYour body physically reacts We are under pressureWe are under pressure We are stumpedWe are stumped We act in self defeating waysWe act in self defeating ways


““Common” Crucial ConversationsCommon” Crucial Conversations Ending a relationshipEnding a relationship Asking a friend to repay a loanAsking a friend to repay a loan Giving the boss feedback about her behaviorGiving the boss feedback about her behavior Critiquing a colleague’s workCritiquing a colleague’s work Talking to a team member who isn’t keeping Talking to a team member who isn’t keeping

commitmentscommitments Talking to a colleague who is hoarding Talking to a colleague who is hoarding

information or resourcesinformation or resources


Why it is important to master crucial Why it is important to master crucial conversation skills:conversation skills: Kick Start Your CareerKick Start Your Career Improve Your OrganizationImprove Your Organization Improve Your RelationshipsImprove Your Relationships Revitalize Your CommunityRevitalize Your Community Improve Your Personal HealthImprove Your Personal Health


There are 8 Principles and SkillsThere are 8 Principles and Skills

See your chart in the handoutsSee your chart in the handouts

Review the Law of Crucial Conversations Review the Law of Crucial Conversations graphicgraphic

Get UnstuckGet Unstuck

Spot the conversations that are keeping Spot the conversations that are keeping you stuckyou stuck

Hold the right crucial conversation with Hold the right crucial conversation with CPRCPR

Get UnstuckGet Unstuck

Partner DiscussionPartner Discussion:: What conversations am I not holding or What conversations am I not holding or

not holding well?not holding well? Share an example of a conversation which is Share an example of a conversation which is

long overdue.long overdue.

Am I holding the right crucial Am I holding the right crucial conversations?conversations?

Start with HeartStart with Heart

Work on me firstWork on me first

Focus on what you really wantFocus on what you really want

Refuse the Sucker’s ChoiceRefuse the Sucker’s Choice

Start with HeartStart with Heart

ActivityActivity: Watch Video Clip, “The Apology”: Watch Video Clip, “The Apology”

https://www.vitalsmarts.com/skillsvideo.aspx

What do I really want? What do I really want? Am I behaving in ways that move me Am I behaving in ways that move me

toward what I want?toward what I want? Am I making Sucker’s Choices?Am I making Sucker’s Choices?

Learn to LookLearn to Look

Look for when a conversation becomes Look for when a conversation becomes crucialcrucial

Look for silence and violenceLook for silence and violence

Learn to look for your own Style Under Learn to look for your own Style Under StressStress

ActivityActivity: Watch video clips/ label: Watch video clips/ label


Learn to LookLearn to Look

Am I noticing signs that safety is at risk?Am I noticing signs that safety is at risk?

Am I moving to my Style Under Pressure?Am I moving to my Style Under Pressure?

ActivityActivity: Take a few minutes to complete the : Take a few minutes to complete the survey independently.survey independently.

- The survey can be - The survey can be submitted/scored submitted/scored

on the VitalSmarts website.on the VitalSmarts website.

Make It SafeMake It Safe

Apologize when appropriateApologize when appropriate

Contrast to fix misunderstandingsContrast to fix misunderstandings

Create Mutual PurposeCreate Mutual Purpose

Make It SafeMake It Safe

Have I established Mutual Purpose?Have I established Mutual Purpose? Have I maintained respect?Have I maintained respect?

ActivityActivity: Watch video clip. Share an : Watch video clip. Share an example of how we can “make it safe” for example of how we can “make it safe” for our staff members.our staff members.


Master My StoriesMaster My Stories

Separate facts from storiesSeparate facts from stories

Watch for three clever storiesWatch for three clever stories Victim, Villain and HelplessVictim, Villain and Helpless

Tell the rest of the storyTell the rest of the story

Master My StoriesMaster My Stories

Am I pretending not to notice my role in the Am I pretending not to notice my role in the problem?problem?

Why would a reasonable, rational, and decent Why would a reasonable, rational, and decent person do this?person do this?

What should I do right now to move toward what What should I do right now to move toward what I really want?I really want?

ActivityActivity: Watch video clip, how could this same : Watch video clip, how could this same example be applied to a school setting?example be applied to a school setting?


STATE My PathSTATE My Path

STATESTATE:: SShare your factshare your facts TTell your storyell your story AAsk for others’ paths (what)sk for others’ paths (what) TTalk tentativelyalk tentatively EEncourage testing (how)ncourage testing (how)

STATE My PathSTATE My Path

Am I really open to others’ views?Am I really open to others’ views?

Am I confidently expressing my own Am I confidently expressing my own views?views?

Explore Others’ PathsExplore Others’ Paths

Explore with added Explore with added AMPPAMPPs:s: AAsksk MMirrorirror PParaphrasearaphrase PPrimerime

Explore Others’ PathsExplore Others’ Paths

Am I actively exploring others’ views?Am I actively exploring others’ views?

Move to ActionMove to Action

Decide how to decideDecide how to decide

Document who does what by when and Document who does what by when and follow-upfollow-up

Move to ActionMove to Action

What is the plan from here?What is the plan from here?

crucial conversations based on the book by: by kerry patterson, joseph grenny, ron mcmillan and al...

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