Summary When parents split up, there can be a lot of disagreement over which parent children live with, and if and how often they can see their other parent. The Children’s Rights Alliance for England is often contacted by people worried that children and young people’s rights and views can be ignored during these difficult times. That is why we have written this short guide to tell you about the law and your rights if this happens to you. This guide includes:

• How families can try and agree without going to court

• What happens if the court gets involved

• How you can tell the court what you think and how you feel

• Your human rights

• Where you can go for help and more information.

This guide only gives general information. For advice about your own situation, you should talk to a lawyer. There is information at the end of this guide about how you can find a lawyer or get legal advice by telephone or email.

Children’s rights when their parents split up

A guide for children and

young people in England

A guide for children and

young people in England

A guide for children and

young people in England

A guide for children and

young people in England

A guide for children and

young people in England

Divorcing parents

Disability

human rights for women

and girls

European Convention on

Human Rights

lawyers can help children

and young peopleMost families agree between themselves what will happen when parents split up. Even so, parental separation usually has a very big effect on children. It helps if parents:

• Tellchildrenwhatisgoingon

• Takechildren'sviewsintoaccountwhenmakingdecisionsaboutthefuture

Parents do not always involve children in making decisions when they are splitting up. Sometimes this can be because they think they are protecting children from information and decisions that might

upset them. Parents may also be feeling unhappy or stressed or angry because splitting up is hard.

It is usually best if you can tell your parents how you are feeling, especially if you are unhappy about the arrangements that are being made. It may also help for you to talk to someone else you trust, like a friend, a close relative or a teacher. They might be able to help you tell your parents how you are feeling. There is information at the end of this guide about places you can contact to talk to someone outside your family and friendship circles.

How families can try and agree without going to court

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Whathappensifthecourtgetsinvolved?

Sometimes parents have to ask the court to decide what should happen – because, for example, they cannot agree about which parent children should live with, or if and when children should see their other parent. In these situations, parents will write to the court, or sometimes lawyers will write for them. The

court may say that your parents have to go on a course to help them try and agree on what happens next. It is best to avoid going to court if possible.

If your parents still cannot agree, there may be a courthearing. But this will only happen if a judge believes that the involvement of the court is not going to cause you more harm than trying to solve the problems without going to court. When a court is involved, the judge gets to hear what each person affected by the situation thinks should happen. The judge then makes his or her decision. Sometimes there is more than one hearing, especially if someone is very unhappy about what has been decided, or if the court wants to find out more about the situation before making or changing a decision. Yourwelfarewillbethecourt’sabsolutepriority.

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Family mediation servicescanhelpfamilies

makedecisionswithoutgoingtocourt.Mediation

iswhenatrainedpersonoutsidethefamilyhelps

eachmemberofthefamilytalkaboutthingsand

agreewhatwillhappen.Wherechildrenaregoing

tobeaffectedbythedecisionthatarebeing

made,mediationservicesshouldmakesurethe

childrenareincludedindiscussions.

Cafcass stands for Children

and Family Court Advisory

and Support Service.

Cafcassisagovernmentorganisationthathelpsthecourtworkoutwhatwillbebestforyou.ACafcassofficershouldcomeandtalktoyouandyourfamily,andfindouthowyoufeel.Theyshouldputyouateaseandhelpyoutoexpressyourself.Theywillusuallymeetyouinprivatethoughyoucannotbeforcedtomeetorspeakwiththem.AftertheCafcassofficerhaslistenedtoyouandothersinvolvedinthesituation,theywilltellthecourtwhatyouhavesaidandwhattheythinkwouldbebestforyou.Theywillwriteareportforthecourt.

WhenyouaretalkingtotheCafcassofficerorthejudgeabouthowyoufeel,thisdoesnotmeanyouhavetochoosewhichparentyouwanttolivewith(thoughyoucansayifyouhaveaclearpreference).Youcanjustsayhowyoufeelaboutthingsgenerally.Itisnaturaltobeworriedaboutsayingsomethingthatwillhurtyourparents’feelings,thoughit’simportantthateveryonegetstounderstandwhatyouthinkandfeel.Cafcassandotherswilltrytohelpyourparentsunderstandthatdecisionsaboutwhoyoushouldlivewitharenotnecessarilyaboutthempersonally.Itisveryunderstandablethatthingslikehowlongitwilltakeyoutogettoandfromschool;keepingincontactwithfriends;andcontinuingyourhobbiesandinterestswillbeimportanttoyou.Therewillbesituationswherechildrenareveryfrightenedofaparentanditisveryimportantthateveryoneinvolvedinmakingdecisionsknowsaboutthissothechildisnotputindanger.

All courts making decisions about families must consider the wishes and feelings of children involved. Section 1 of the Children Act 1989 requires this. Courts must take children’s wishes and feelings into account when making their decision. Usually a person called a Cafcassofficer finds out the child’s wishes and feelings for the court. But you can also speak to the judge yourself, or write to the judge.

Children do not usually go to the court hearing, but there is no rule that says you cannot attend. In June 2010 the highest court in England – the Supreme Court in London – decided that it should not be assumed that children will not give evidence in family courts. This means that more children will probably get to speak in court in the future – butonlyiftheyreallywanttoandtheyarenotbeingputunderpressure. If you feel that you want to speak for yourself, you should tell your parents and the Cafcass officer.

How you can tell the court what you think and how you feel

IfyouareunhappyaboutwhattheCafcassofficerisdoing,youcantalktothemaboutit.Ifyouarestillunhappy,youcanmakeacomplaint.Informationforchildrenaboutmakingacomplaintcanbefoundhere:www.cafcass.gov.uk/feedback.aspxoryoucancallCafcasson0844 353 3350.

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Sometimes judges will be able to meet with you in private, not in the court, to hear how you are feeling. This can be less intimidating than attending the hearing. Your parents or the Cafcass officer should be able to tell you how to contact the judge.

If your situation is particularly difficult, you may need to have yourownlawyer. You will not usually have to pay for this lawyer (most children are entitled to legal aid). If you have your own lawyer, their job will be to put across yourviewsandfeelings; your parents will have their own lawyer to put across their views and feelings. Depending on how old you are, and how well you understand what is happening, you may need help from someone else to work with the lawyer. This person is called a guardian.

Guardians are social workers that are used to working with children in difficult situations. They must tell the court what they think is best for you. They stay in contact with you until the court has made its decision. (They are not the same as guardians who look after children if their parents die: these are usually family or friends of the family).

Cafcass and the court must respect your human rights. This includes:

• Your right to privacy and your right to continue relationships with people in your family (Article 8, European Convention on Human Rights)

• Your right to have your best interests as a top priority when decisions are being made about you (Article 3, United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child)

• Your right to express your own views and to have these views taken into account when decisions are being made about you (Article 12, United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child).

94 White Lion Street, London N1 9PF T: 020 7278 8222

W: www.crae.org.uk

There is useful information on the Cafcass website

about what happens when parents split up: www.

cafcass.gov.uk/cafcass_and_you/info_for_children.aspx

Legaladviceandrepresentation

For free telephone legal advice about the law when

your parents split up, you can contact the Children’s

Legal Centre 08088 020 008 (freephone); this is open

from 9.00am to 5.00pm Monday to Friday.

You can also contact the National Youth Advocacy

Service on 0800 61 61 01 (freephone) or send a

text message to 0777 333 4555 or send an email to

help@nyas.net

For advice about your human rights and equality

law, contact the Children’sRightsAlliancefor

England- Telephone 0800 32 88 759 (no charge

except from a mobile; Textphone users dial 18001

first) 3.30pm – 5.30pm on Tuesdays, Wednesdays

and Thursdays; email – advice@crae.org.uk

If you need a lawyer to advise or act for you,

you should go to a ChildrenPanellawyer.These

are family lawyers who specialise in dealing with

cases involving children. You can find details of

Children Panel lawyers in your area by going to the

LawSocietywebsite:www.lawsociety.org.uk.

Click on ‘Finding a solicitor’ and then search under

‘family law’ according to your postcode. Click on

‘more search options’ and pick ‘Children Panel

solicitor – adult representative’ from the drop down list.

Alternatively, you can contact the Law Society by

telephone on: 020 7242 1222.

Familymediation

National Family Mediation www.nfm.org.uk/home

Helpline 0808 200 0033

Other people who can helpChildLineYou can contact ChildLine about anything that is

worrying you at any time on 0800 11 11 (freephone) or

online: http://www.childline.org.uk/Pages/Home.aspx

You’ve got the Right is funded by the Equality

and Human Rights Commission

Where you can go for help and more information

Ifyouneedalawyer,itisbesttochoosesomeone

whoisamemberofthe Children Panelbecause

theyareexpertsinworkingonchildren’scases.

ThereisinformationaboutChildrenPanellawyers

attheendofthisguide.