courageous parents ebook
TRANSCRIPT
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Courageous ParentsConfident Kids
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EditEd byAmy Tiemann, Ph.D.
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CourageousParents
ConfidentKids
letting go so you both can grow
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Ch 2010 Am m, Ph.D.
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I 1Amy iemann, Ph.D.
I. He CRAGe INveS
IN YR WN DeveLPMeN 15
T m Pw Sl 19Renee Peterson rudeau
l C R 35Kella Hatcher and Maryanne Perrin
II. DeveLPING YR
CRAGeS PAReNING SYLe 51
T C L K Sl T w Plm 55Maya Frost
T C Bm Y w P e 77Melissa Stanton
T Pw Pl S K All A 93Amy McCready
Im W I W Mh, B Hw D I S? 111Jamie Wool
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III. ReAL-WRLD SAFeY SKILLS FR ALL 125
Kw: Sll S, Sll I 129Irene van der Zande
Hw SYes Y K l A 151Linda Criddle
Iv. FINDING YR vICe AND
RAISING I FR He CMMNIY 173
Bm Pll P: PMm
Mh R T v l 177Joanne Bamberger
Bl Fmll Am: Chll P
Th h e MmR. 193Kristin Rowe-Finkbeiner
I Mhh 211
Cooper Munroe and Emily McKhann
e Awlm 225
A h C 227
A h e 231
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i
Amy iemann, Ph.D.
Am m, Ph.D., mlm , ,
l l h. Sh h l h Mojo
Mom: Nurturing Your Sel While Raising a Family
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2 couragEous parEnts | conidEnt kids
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introduction 3
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introduction 5
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introduction 7
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8 couragEous parEnts | conidEnt kids
GRNDING HeLICPeR PAReNING
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introduction 9
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10 couragEous parEnts | conidEnt kids
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introduction 11
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12 couragEous parEnts | conidEnt kids
SKILLS, He MISSING INGReDIeN!
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introduction 13
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14 couragEous parEnts | conidEnt kids
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1 couragEous parEnts | conidEnt kids
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tE couragE to inEst in your on dEEopEnt 17
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18 couragEous parEnts | conidEnt kids
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t tfmv P f sf-
Renee Peterson rudeau
L l h R P
h h Te Mothers Guide to Sel-Renewal: How
to Reclaim, Rejuvenate and Re-Balance Your Lie, whh
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20 couragEous parEnts | conidEnt kids
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tE transoratiE poEr o sEcarE 21
SeLF-CARe: BeYND MASSAGeS AND PeDICReS
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22 couragEous parEnts | conidEnt kids
(M mm wh w h hw
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Physical Care Examples
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tE transoratiE poEr o sEcarE 23
Mental Care Examples
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BARRIeRS SeLF-CARe
Alm mh h wh hw l h good mothers always put their amilies rst, motherhood is pure
bliss, you just have to let your body go when you become a mom,
good mothers are completely seless, .
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Re-Balance Your Lie I h wm wh h
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24 couragEous parEnts | conidEnt kids
M w wh h wm hh
Pl Rwl G whh l
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, h l, What is mypersonal motivation or sel-care?
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to me, and how might this positively impact my relationships with
my amily?
WHY SeLF-CARe?
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tE transoratiE poEr o sEcarE 25
B m l, w w
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2 couragEous parEnts | conidEnt kids
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hm l:
Y m hll
Y h ll h h h
[Y llw] ll [] m w
Y m [ ] h m
Y l h m
Y mh m hl
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tE transoratiE poEr o sEcarE 27
W l 24/7 l h l ml
. M w h h being j
m doing. Slw w l
j mh m l. I w. lml, I l h l h
h w l hm who they are what they do.
Bm wh
l h h. B
h l, ll
hw h f . A, ll, ll h
l m l j l hl m. Yll h l ml
l h w m f ll
l wh m ll .
T h h m h mm hw
mh m l jl I m I h
jl , h ell, Pl Rwl
G mm Ch, lml w, mm
w. A, I m m, I l l m
ll wh m . Im l m h
wh m .
T h h m h l h h
h l, w h l W
h. ell h wh h mmwh l lm W h h l .
T wm h h l wh h
h W Nh Ww Cl, ll l l
w lh h wl mm h.
F m , h m wl l wll
l l wh ,
h .A l , I lwl m
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28 couragEous parEnts | conidEnt kids
lz h w l ll hh
m l hh ml ll
mhh w h l
I l .Wh m A h wh h mhlw, Sll,
wh h w w h Pl Rwl G
m lwl wh h
Sll wll wh . Sh l A, I wh
I h m ml wh I w m . Hl,
I j l whlm ll h z I l
ml h m, w h m mh l.B ll h, l h m I w , h
m ml m ml.
m lwl
.
Cmm h l l q :
L h h
Fllw h l
C l l wh h m h
P wh
S wh wh
m mCll m wh wh
A llw l hl
Slw w m
I h l
B l wh lC wh wm, w l
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tE transoratiE poEr o sEcarE 29
SeLF-CARe = LIvING INSIDe
Sl h m . I
m; w l w. I
lwh h h . A, I l,
l hh.
M h , h h h
wh ll m l. W lz
l m h m. A, w
hw l h , w, hh,
l wh l wm l.Wh llw l
l, l wll ll, l h. Wh
wl l m h l l ? F m h
m:
L m ll
L l h l l, l l l
L m l h h l (
m h h)
R m h h hm
I h q, Gh, m m,
whh m m l l l : T whh m
m hl h m h whh m l.
Wh m wll l wh hl
mm wh ? S
l. m l l mm ,
ll, m wh l l h m
w l.Mh hl wl l l h ml
ll wll. H w wh mh wh l
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30 couragEous parEnts | conidEnt kids
wh l ll h l, I w h w m .
Wh mh l h h m m,
wh h h h m h m,
wh h like hll, m, lovehl, hf h mm ml, ml, mm
m.
W ll f h m h w hm.
Wh wm h , mw m
h Pl Rwl G h wm l
h h l h , h
h h, lh m whl. Am m wm m h l ,
l l m ml h l w
ll l m h , h h h .
A h l l h h h
wll l m.
INSPIRAIN AND exeRCISeS
h l
l, lw ll h h l
m Pl Rwl G mm h w
l.
I h lw l I m l ll
m I h lll m l h
h. A I hh w
m m w hh, h
h I w l
h l hl. T I l m w
m I w j wh h l. A h h m Pl
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32 couragEous parEnts | conidEnt kids
Whh l (hl, ml, ml,
l) m h w?
Wh wl m m lwl ?
L hWhy Self-care?l m l h h
l h l.
A h mh w hl wh l , I
h l h m m
m m hl l. A
m, h m m m
q ml h h m
m. I mm wh I m wh I m h.
I l h D wh m h,
w h ll h l
. M m m l lw
w, l h ll, mll m h S, h wll wh
ll . I l lz h ml
m l whh h wl
, m, , ,
l l mm hl m
mh .
v Rh, mm B, , Dl,
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tE transoratiE poEr o sEcarE 33
exeRCISe: Ge SPPRFR YR SeLF-CARe PRACICe
Cll f wh
m. Sh h h h wh hm . Wh m, h w h
q . Wh h
h mh m l , .
I mm mm l l
mh. D h m, wh h
l hl, ml, ml, l wl
.
Ch wh h
hw h ( m ). A ll,
l : .
I wl w m m l m
m l . I h h, I ml ll
m m m . A m l
m m Pl Rwl G, I lz h
I h m , m h. I
h h l I w l. I ll
wh m l llw. D m w,
h ll m, I m mhm wll l m m m
I mm h. T
I h l h l h
. T m I h
m l, h m
h m m hml ll.
vW, mm R,
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34 couragEous parEnts | conidEnt kids
exeRCISe: AKe FIve MRNING CHeCKP
F h h , m
, m mll h
wh hw l. A l, What do I need to eel nur-
tured and to unction at my best today?
Rmm h l: ml, hl, m
l, l. M wh m
, m mh l
hl h . M m
wl. Ph f , ml, wl l h h
lh . M
wh h whl
. m l h m
l h mm wll. Y l wll
ll h l l, ,
l wh w . A hl ml wll mml!
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t f c rv
Kella Hatcher and Maryanne Perrin
Kll Hh M P h Bl
Pl, LLC. Th h h, w,
, l, h w m
wl l h ml,ml, h mm, h m. T l
h h Te On-Ramping Guide: ips, Exercises, and Impor-
tant Job Search Steps or Returning to Work Ater ime Out Raising
Kids. Y l m h w l
www.BlPl.m.
M h lm h h m wh
ml. Y h ll h h
h wh wh , hlh,
. D ll h , l l
, w h, m wl
l j l h hm hm l
z w h wl hw wh . l, h ml
35
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3 couragEous parEnts | conidEnt kids
w h ll h ,
, m wll l
m hw h f
l. P hm f h lm
m l l wh mm
lmm.
P m m wh w
lh w w ml. W h m
h w mh h ml h ml
mh h ll : Am I hm h mm ml ? C I lm h
ll w? B w l h m
h notw mh h ml : C w
m l I w? Wll I z
hm ll wh ?
H h notl l h ? T
h w hm lh
w w ml, h wll
l
w h wll hl, l l,
ml whl. T l: w
m w, wh w ll h
w, w h h h j l m w wh
m? w h
h h l wh l
h ?
I w m wl l, wll
l , w h ll ll
h wh m . Y m h l w
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toos or carEEr rEinEntion 37
wh w hll. (W h h
l!)
On-rampers and o-rampers: T h
w m wh , h l h w m hm wh
Reshapers: T m jm h w
m j l
w
Free agents and changers: T w lml,
h w j , f l
w
WRKING BACKWARDS DeFINeYR DeAL BReAKeRS AND DReAM MAKeRS
e wh h h w
q w w. T , wh
w h wh wh
h. I l l
, h
h lm l. S mh ,
mh m m h m h
hh h . . . m h!
S ( ) w w hh l . T h w,
l l: j h h wh
h. Wh m ,
wh l ? Wh l? A
mh , Im I ll l
m l I h,
, Im hm m m h hl .A l , I w ml
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38 couragEous parEnts | conidEnt kids
l , , w hl h ml
l m w.
m m hh
, m l w ml. T l hl h w lm:
Dl B Dm M.
Y l m m lz h l
m l h
.Dl
h h ll m h m
w ml ml h wll h h ml h
. Dm m h h wl m
h l l
h h wl m w m
wh . A mm, l
h m m ; ,
m h, m w m m l
l w l.
Deal Breaker Examples
I j h h m h m
I j h lz m [m, HR, l] ll
S m h m j hl hm
mh, m m h hl
( h )
I h h w jz m l
[m Ce h m; w;
m]
I l w m hm [ll h m;
w; ]
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40 couragEous parEnts | conidEnt kids
K m h h h m m l
l l m l.
Y l l m m mh
wh m, z, w w l. Y
hl l l
m m. Y hl ll l
l h lm l. Sm m
l m m h m, h wll h mm
m h l. T
h l h ; h h l m h
l hw hl h.
CNFIDeNCe AND FCS
I m h, m ll h
w j . Y m l j
, mh ll h w h
h .
I l l wh h h w
wh l m h l wh
. Y lm wh , , l q w m h,
m wh h
. Al, h m ll
h w h ll mh
. B m wh h
m ml l h h
w m wh h mh h ll ! T
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toos or carEEr rEinEntion 41
l h hl wh
h llw:
StrengthsFinder 2.0 m Rh ( m
h)
Pl l m h h M
B I, DISC, h Hhl Al
B
L h ( h)
BILD N WHA Y HAve
Y h h
l wh l h h h
h m h. Rmm h h not
lw h h ! I w
h h l , l j m
h h h q l h
, whh ll q h . I
h j l l, l
h l w, , h
m w lwh h h jm wh l
w mm . I l w h m ,
wh l whh
m wh h m
wll . I l h l w
, l h ll l h l
w h h m l mh
wll f j f. I w l, w h ll
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42 couragEous parEnts | conidEnt kids
l w l l ll
wh w j.
h m m h hl l
w. Whh h w, whh h, h, , need w
l l m .
Bl , w l mm
lm m hm. T w
mll l, ,
m mh . Nw
lh; w hl h mh m h h hl . Nw
, l , lh
wh l mh m h w
l, l l .
Nw l h lh ll
l h m w lh q h
ll. All h w. T w
w, w ll l, w
, w PA l, w h h
l . Pl w h h
wh m wl, hl h h w
, m hl hl, l h h h
w l j, m h h h wl. Bl m
w m l j z h
ll , mh m
h l w h ll
. F m, mm hll wh
l h l w
w . Wh m l l m w lh hl
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toos or carEEr rEinEntion 43
hl h
h.
Be eDCAeD
M m wll hml m
l w m l h
m w. I
m w h h l zll wl
, hz h llm, j, m
l h. Wh l h h mw w h m m, m l
wh l w w. Wh wll h l z
ll h w h h m ?
We work and live in a global economy. W ml l
wh wh m ll
f m z l. I ll h w
h Il A wl ml (ml w h
m hl m h m l)
wll m wl. I !
Te structure o our society has changed signicantly. S
, wh Am hhl h l hm
h l wh h m l. ,
h h l l hhl, hm h l h . W l
ll m h w w w
w h fl m h.
Major demographic groups are calling or alternative ways to work.
W mm h h h l w
m : 2007 Pw Rh C hw
h w mh w m hl w m. T w , h mh
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44 couragEous parEnts | conidEnt kids
h h h , m h
. A 2009 h C WL Pl hw
h wl l m 89 G
Y 87 B Bm.echnology has redened how we do everything.Wh
w m h l h h
l mh h m w, h
w w l h ll l. N w m?
ALeRNAIveS He LADDeR
m, m m lm l
. T m h l lz h h ,
w, f l l l,
h, m, MhhF w
h h mh wh h
l l. h h l l wh
fh, l hlh ,
wh h lm
l ml. Wh m h l h
l l?
Part-time work. A w l, mll
l w m
w l h m w ml. J h,wh w l h j 50/50 h l,
lz m h ml wh
llm h , h l ll
w l llh .
elecommuting. W ll j m
hm h m,
m, l mm. F ml, C2009 h m lmm l
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toos or carEEr rEinEntion 45
m l $277 mll! T l
w m hm w h m ll m
h l w h w h hm .
Contract work. A h wl lmmlm h,m m ml l
l j w. I h ll h
j w h w, ,
mm, w lm, h , l
w, ml wh l l
l , wll ml
l hlh m, l m .
Entrepreneurship and partnership.A h C
Wm B Rh, 20082009 h w 7.2
mll mjwmw m h S. T
l h wh wmw h
wm h h l m
l h . T I h l lw m
hl m h m lw, lw l
h . H ll?
C m w m h.
T are ml wh h ml h
l w w f ml l h h w . ml
Dl, h l m wh ml
ml , wh h lw l wl
l. T m h 2003 l wl l
hm $27 mll . Rlz h
ladder f l m l
ml wh h l h lw w m l wh hl, l, h
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4 couragEous parEnts | conidEnt kids
l Dl l latticemw ll M
C Cmz. eml w h mw llw
hm l lw lm: ,
wl, l/hl, l. Y l m cc Mass Career Customization: Aligning the Workplace
with odays Nontraditional Workorce Ch B. B B
h wl l. T Rll
W em (roE) m llw ml
w wh wh h w l h h j .
roE h l ,
m , , h h m. Y l m roE
www.l.m.
Be CReAIve AND PeRSISeN
I l j w l ll h
w, , h hm f
m wh l wl . T
l h h h h
. (W w ll w , h wh h
l l .) Wh llw w ml
wh w .m h m h h
h l llm j mh h h
. : llm j h
, l w! Y hl
lmm h h h , j l l
m. A l hl l
h h w w, h m h l h h lh
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toos or carEEr rEinEntion 47
ml , h l h . M
h ml m
w , Te On-Ramping Guide: ips, Exercises,
and Important Job Search Steps or Returning to Work Ater imeOut Raising Kids, ll m W .
A w l wh l, w hw
m l l j beoreh h l
l h h, m lmm, j h
, f hl hm. D jm
h h! A
h mh h wh w, ll hmw (m
h m).
W mm h h m l
: Kll l l h h ll l j
h wl, h h
jh m. Alhh j h h
h z, h . W h j h
wl wh l wh l. A
h m , M w l wh hl
lmm h hl w , w m l
l wh w h h m m. Wh h
h h h , h m w
wll ww .Fll, h l m
wll whh m,
h, . I mh h q w
j w l, w m
l w h h . B
m h l h h
, , h ll l whwhl .
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48 couragEous parEnts | conidEnt kids
Be eCH SAvvY
Wh hl, m w
(w hl m
l) wl l. hl l w
l l wh m l m
w, m hl h
. Blw j w ml hw
l hl.
Participate in social networking Web sites. Sl w
( wh l l) w mlm m h m l
w j h. Whl h l w
ll l (w )
LI l w, wh
m ll lm, h j ,
wm l m . F h
l l ml l l w. wh F: m m
h l ml l w h
l F . Rl ,
h ml
wh l ml ml
F h hm m m m.
Stay connected and perorm your job even when you arent in theofce. I w h
j m wh h , wll l
w hm w m. C h
m h m w m m
hm m h wll llw hl ml m
m wh h .
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toos or carEEr rEinEntion 49
Use technology to support a job-share arrangement. M j
h w w h ml ml ,
whh llw hm h m.
Embrace other tools that allow you to work anywhere, anytime.T m ml ll l h
l m l, h hl,
m mm l, h m ll l l
wh wh w.
Be PRePAReD
Wh h mh m
m h ? Anticipating
addressing. B h
l hm, ll mlhll m
m. R ?
Do your homework. A h m h
l, ml, , w. Wh h ll hll h m ? A h ll h
l j? D
l w? Wll ml l hl
hhl l h
h hl? Wh mh
h l w m? Wh
w?
Map out a plan. Nw h wh
h mh , m m w l
h . B
ml mh h, h ll, ,
hll , wh
qm . Lw, ll w
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50 couragEous parEnts | conidEnt kids
l h mh h, h wh
hl hl hhl h. H
hh hh m h hl
ml m hm wll l .
Show that its a win-win. Wh ml, l
h ww h m h
. A h l h ml,
h lw , l,
? Shw hm h l. I j
h, h h l h w m h ! Shw h wll
l, , ll m hm w
hl m m. T
l w m .
ASSeSS, WeAK, AND Be PeN CHANGe!
N m hw mh l , h l wll
h. Y l m m m f
l; h h m lm
h m l, h h
m, hlh , h l hlh
. I h h l
l h m
lm ll
h w m
w ml. A ll, ll h j
j h !
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c w
dvp y o c P s
51
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52 couragEous parEnts | conidEnt kids
Dl w l m m hl mwh lm. I T C L K Sl T w
Plm, M F h h ml , whh lw h l l w h
h h h l w
wm. H h l
hh hl M, m wh M h
h m ll Sh, w hll w
ll hm. M h f
w jm hm w m
h h h .
N, Ml S hh h mq
l w h h l
w , l wh hm, hml, h
h h w . Ml
w mz lh h
hh l h llw h
h llw . H l hm mh
h, l w, h hw h h l lwl
, h llm h h whl l
, m h w . I h h,
h h l T C BmY w P e.
Whl h m w , I l l
h P Dl l wh mlm
. P Am MC, P P
Sl, h , whh
h f l ll ml mm. Whl
h m P Dl, Am mhz TPw Pl S K All A.
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dEEoping your on couragEous parEnting styE 53
I w m h
h m l. Lh
l h Mom-in-Chie Jm Wl l h
hll h f m.Whh h L, C, Ah, w
l l h l m j
wh w w w l l
h l. m h h: h
l. I Im W I W Mh, B Hw
D I S?Jm hl l hw w wh h w
l w h w .
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t c l o K sv t o Pm
Maya Frost
M F Am w, ml ,
l ll l l A
. Sh h mh l lh h
h h Te New Global Student: Skip the SA, SaveTousands on uition, and Get a ruly International Education.
L m www.MF.m.
h h h
l hw llw l h
h l ll h lm hm. Wh mhhl hm h hm h hm h l
m: hm m h m l, w
l h h m m
l.
Bl q m w ourselves
l hl w . Wh I h wh
m l , I h hl w l m . Whl h
55
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5 couragEous parEnts | conidEnt kids
l, h l
per se. A I h ll
l h h h
m l hl. I m , h mh m h h h .
lml, h hh hl h
w h wel hm
h m wh m.
A m, hw, l
, m h h l
l hm, h ( h) allow them to make their ownchoices. P l, ,
l wh h. j h
h m l
wh h, w h w , h hm wh
h wl wh w h h.
N zll h ,
h l ll m
l . S w l wh h
, wh , h hw
h f h. I , w w
j l l h l
wh l h. T w h
m I ll h w mh h h l . A , w m
l h l h whl ll
l m h
hl. I l, h h m
h m .
T m m
m (h h l l h) m w hw w m . I
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tE couragE to Et our kids soE tEir on probEs 57
hll m, hl lh , l
h l l l w ll
l wh wh rst hw
f hl. A w h h w ( hw h mh f hl) (
w l ), w
h, h h h h .
T h m hl h :
wh m h m our l wh
h hl w. W m w mm
h h h h hll l wh w l. T
l h h ll h h w
h l l.
Dl h l
h h l , h , h
wll . Fm m l hl
m, , m , I h
h wh l h wh
l wh h h f h w
whl m l l lh wh
hm. M h I h h l
h wh w h h
w h m wh h w .
R ADveNRe ABRAD
I 2005, m h I ll h l
Am ll h ml
. W l l h wl m
l m m l h wl m l ll l h
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58 couragEous parEnts | conidEnt kids
ll m w w h w h mll ww
l ml l
ll ll. W l h h l
h j hh hl RYh eh , j m h h h l
h w l. W wh w l
m h h wh l, l
mz , wh h
h . W w h l
m ml wl ll h w
h wl h w l.M wl h hll m
wh , w l h (h l w,
w) w l h without,
m l mh l m ml!
A ll, w h h h l , h m wl
m ll h lm h
. Pl, w w m (l h
mh l I Nl wh h w 7, 8, 10 11)
h m hl w mm w h w
h l h hll l ml
. Sll, w . I h h
h, w h h hll
hm hh h wh h w whh , , hm whl h
hm hh hh hl ll l w.
Wh w m M, h w 14, 15, 17,
18. T 15l h j l l h B
zl, h 18l w l ll, w
j wh j h 14l h 17l, wh h
j m h l h ( Bzl wll, ). I w h w w ml h
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tE couragE to Et our kids soE tEir on probEs 59
ml h w lw h
, hm,
!
P hh hl h h m m l . Bl m, h h m m wh
I l I wh hm hh h l,
hm, ml h w hh h
l wh w ml, m w ,
w l l ml l. A I h h m
w (ml l) whl l hm h
h. Cql, w l m h hll mh ml m ,
m m h h w ll w h
h, h w, h , h
wh. I , w h w l ll wh
h h h h h l
h wh w m wh wl h
m h m h.
Kw h m l ml
, w h m hh l wh l h
m, l h h wl l
m. W w ll m h
h, l, wh h w : h
wl h l hh hl h S.W m h wh hll h
w , h h h w .
, h w w w wh w really
h. A l hl h m m h h
h w l h w . H h w hw h wl
, h mh h m m h
m l ml h l.S wh l whlh hm, w ll h
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0 couragEous parEnts | conidEnt kids
h hh hl h l S
h hh hl Mzl. A l w h
, w l ml w l w h
h l l hh hl anywhere. Th l h h hh hl, h f hh
hl l m h m, h , h m, h
ml hm m h D m.
I wh m l l hh h wh
, , m wh l ,
m ml, hh hl
. I w h wh l wl Mwl m ml lml mh m
h h ql ll m h
hz hh hl hm.
A w h h m l :
m h I l l ll l
lm w Sh wll. T l
m l mh h w M.
L , w ll h h l: h w
w l w w l
! l l w l
l lmjust enough m h h
wh w w . M h m,
h h h lw w, w h h l wh mh h w
h . I m w ml , I
hw just a brie moment
m h f w mll
wh w . T l w
w w lw j h h w
j h m l h w w.Th h w l mm wh w l q
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tE couragE to Et our kids soE tEir on probEs 1
, w w h w h h
l l most l q m! W h
l
wh h l h, h w j w . I , I h h l
l w ll
hl h l
h wh h m l h w q ,
h. B q l
m hl! M lh
l h h w h l h.L lw l, h hw
hl h mh m m h
hm m .
Sll, w h wh l hh h l
l l. H w l Am hh hl
M, Sh, w
. I hl h h lw hl. Sh w
q lw l w h hl hh
h. Sh h h h w l
wl l h l l wh .
Hw, h m w w h ml! W
w wl h h hh
h l ll h h. B w l wh h h h h h , h
h wl h h m h w l.
W wshel hl l we?
I ll h mll
h h. I z
wl h w hl l m
w, h l h hh hl hh l, ll h wh w h h h l. l w
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2 couragEous parEnts | conidEnt kids
ll hl h w h h
, ql h h. Wh m h m
I wl h h hh hl M, I h
m m mh h I h mh h l. B m wh m h l
m h! Sh wl h hl h
h w h h l l, l
h hl, h l w . T
ll h (l l wh
h w ), h l hl l l
h. I w l, m m. l, hw, l lm wh
hl h . Sh lw h h l,
I w h w q .
W m h h hl wh h w h,
h w w h h. Sh w ml
, w l h l wh h w
h. Sh w h , h ,
h ll wh . W m h wl
h w l hm. Sh l hw h h
h : h w hll, h l
ll l. Sh w h m h hm
l h h w l h .
T w m l h. D wh mm , w h , wl l h hmw h
l . D wh l wl h
h . D wh h h m
h h h lm. h , w l
h h h h f h .
Sh , wh h h h h,
w l l. W w ll wh : W w hm? W w l ?
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tE couragE to Et our kids soE tEir on probEs 3
lml, wh hl m w
h q h .
W h l h h w capable l wh h,
w l? D h m hl? Tl q : , h lm
wh wh ll m.
M h h h h . S, l m h,
h jm f l mm m.
m h, m h m, H , h hl,
q. T m lw w wh
m h h wh w m m l l m ml!
Aw, w j lm .
H l , h h h, j m. Sh w
h h hl m h wh w
h ll mh . Sh w , h ,
m . W h m mll,
l, w l h hm m l
. W l h h h w ml
w h w j wh h l hw l h
w l ll hl h l hm.
W l h h l q hm
hl h l, h w . Wh? Wll,
w h w whh l h mh h mm wh h h
h h h mh h h lm h
l h. T ll h w. Sh
l m h hmw l m w
h h m h Sh. Sh h
l wh h m hm h m
ml hl, h h h h w. Sh l quinceaeras,
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4 couragEous parEnts | conidEnt kids
h L Am 15h h m l
, w l h
h Sh.
eh mh, w h hl h hl l h h l wh
w h l. S m h I l w
Sh, h mm
, w h h h q
h . Alhh h hl w lf wh l
w h P , h lm l w wwl
. W ml hw l l h h l wh h l l l ll.
A , w h l m
m h . W w h j hw
mh h l l l. W
w h h ll h w l h
h w h l w mh m m h
wh ll mh elh.
B l l l w w h.
A h mh, h w ll h
l , h w h m h lm! Sh
w h hm Sh. T mz
h h hl h lh hl
hh w mwh lw lz h mh h. M h
wh h h h wh w h ?
T w m hh lw h , h ll
hll wh h lm h hm
h hl S Fl. I w h h w
elh l m h h wl h
h elh ll h . Sh w h l elh h hl, h
m m , h w .
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tE couragE to Et our kids soE tEir on probEs 5
T l hhl
h ll h ll l m hh h hlh
! l w h S Q.
N l w h elh l wh, hw m, m q whh h w mll
. Sh h m mm
, l , ll ,
h, h h h. Sh
wh , , w ll hl
, m Sh ml
m.I mh h hl hml
h. Sh hw wh h w , h
w h, h h w h mh
h h h m h. B h w
h h l, m h lm h
wl h l h l w hl wh
. Th h l h ,
h h h l wh h w
hw h w . T h w
w ll wh m l
h l, wh w h h
h l. Fl, w h , h l
(wh w ll w q) h hlh , l w lh wh h m l
h h ml .
T w m m h mh wh w l h h
l j q, h w wh , wl h
l h. B h wl h . Sh h
mh hl: h l h m
h . A , w j h hl h w h h,
w l h h w mm hh
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couragEous parEnts | conidEnt kids
w m h h. l, ll
wl h h m w. I , Im
h h h wl h m
h h w wh h m . Twh m w h wll
z h h zll h, m
l! Ah h mh h h
f w (h h mmm q
m hl m lm) mll, w h
h l l lh h hll. T m h
w w ask her what she wanted to do h h m hw q. W l, h h h h
h h w. Sh w h ll
w h Sh h
hl! B , h j h. W h h wh
llw h h h h w w, w
h f hh !
A f w . T m ll mm m
w h . l w l h h z
w lm h
h wl llw h l h . T l h w
mh h h h h
h h wl m l.
h m h , h w lwh hl. W h l m
ll h l, wh
l l h, h
l llw h h w m hm
hm hml. Sh w w h
, h w m
l w . I w lh l,wh , l h, ll h
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tE couragE to Et our kids soE tEir on probEs 7
l h. G wh h hm, h
l h .
A w h , m mml
l h h w h fl h hh . T h w h
h l hl : lw, wh h, q,
h , l. T w h
h llw l w h hl
wh ml mm w h
wh lm h h .
T w wh. Pl w . I l lhll hml, w hw h m l
l h l. Sh h l
h h l; h h z ml mm
h h, j w lm wh
hw .
M ml w wh h w m ll,
h llw h m l l h .
I l h I h l h w w hw hl h
h h h.
B whl I w wllw m ml , I
l h. Sh w wh h hh wh
w h h h. A h w beam-
ing. Sh w h hh, ml wq, h w h m h j . S,
h w ll wll h h h q l,
h h months h l
hl . I w w I wh h w h
l h , ml wh j h h
h wh .
Wh wl h h I h h ml mm? Wh I h llw m
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8 couragEous parEnts | conidEnt kids
h () m w hml () m h j h
? Wh wl h h m I h ?
A w h l, wh h h
h hl l w w h mm m l. I w w h m h
w h h h h m h m hll
ll m h . A l
h ml h l wh h hm wl
m h h whl l h ml lm
f ll wh h , h m hl
l m. B w w wh l h hwh h h l . A hh h
ll ml hh l ll , w w h
w h h mm ml
h l h h h h mh hl.
I m , Te New Global Student, l h h
l h h M h m
m h. Sh w h h lll wh
h h h
ll l hm. Nw ll h h
BS w w 19 h h h m m hw
h f h.
Wh I l m M, I m
ll ll h I w hh llh I mlh. A I m ml
, l ,
l w . T w l m
wh I l h h w j
h. B I h
h I w I l. Nw, wh I h
ll hll , I lw
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tE couragE to Et our kids soE tEir on probEs 9
ml mm M I l h, I
h! I m m hw I
ll m, hw mh I f wh Im
wh I m, hw mh I llw ml m. I w h h m hw
ml hw l. I m wh
I wl w wh h l .
W l M l h
w wh m ll h , h
whh wh ll w l. A, w h h , w l h
. A ll, h h h m hl h h,
h mz j m h m h .
W w w l h wl h w
w wl h lm h h , w
w wl h , h h
wl h h l. h , h h w h Sh
m h l ll, h w
, wh m ll
l. Sh h h B A, A
, l h w ml l 13 mll
l h f w hl.
l h h h w h hhhl h Chl, h h h, h
A h wh . B l h
hh h h w ll h
. W w h h h P
Sh Am h h Jl h ml w.
D h w B A, w m l
h w l hh hl. Sh mll
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70 couragEous parEnts | conidEnt kids
l hl wh l w h h elh
Sh. T m ll l wlm,
h hh wl .
B m l l h w w . F, h h ll h
hm w l, h h h
h h l elh. T w ll A ; h
w h l ,
h 28 . S, h w mll
h h w h ll
h hh h . Gl m h, l h h m l . Sh l h
h m wl h hlw
l h h S. B
ml, h A ll. A
l m h m mll, h
wl ll lh h, h lh
hh h h h.
Whl h l mm mh A
l, mll l m l
h . I , h
h h wh hmh, h m B
A w h M wl
. S, w h l m h ll h w mh. W l h h h
w m f w
learning. Sh l lw h Al
h w hl , h mm, h h
h l wh w h j m. I w j
m h h h h options.
lml, h l f .T ll l h.
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tE couragE to Et our kids soE tEir on probEs 71
e hh h w l 1, h w l
Sh l ll wh h l
ll m h S h wh
w h m. H Sh ll whh h m h w mll l
w h . T h
h h h l hl hl lm wh
l .
l l l hl h wh
. W h w h , l
l h h h hh wl h.W w h w ll w w h
h . Sh l Am wh
w l h hh h l.
H h w C wh h h
. A h m wh A Ph.D.
l l.
B , l w l h
Sh l h l wh it
w ll h hlh . Sh
l h hll h lm, w
l h h hh hl
h ll.
W h m w , h mh wl h m fl mm
llm : h gEd.
F l! I l h w h .
Wl h l m h ? Wl
w j wh w h ?
Fl, w wh h h h h hh
hl l w l llm m, l, h l h ll
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72 couragEous parEnts | conidEnt kids
wll ll, h Bhl 19 20,
w w h l.
l h gEd, h z h
m h gEd lll B A q l 17 l. B h w ll
ll l B A h ll w mh
h 17h h w lz h h l w h
h mm h S h h l
h , whh h mmm 1. S,
whl w A, l w , h
mm wh h (h wh w w h h Pl), ll l ll ,
ml h gEd l h gEd .
I Sm, h B A ll h
mll Am h. Sh ll h
h l! Sh w h h l
Am h .S. H l, h h w
wh h m h H elh Cm
, ll l wh hl h l
h A wm, h l l wh
l h h , lh h
h m l h m H
.
A h h , h w f hlh j
Nw Y. Wh h l, h h j
h w w h ll
w. Sh w 17 l.
I lz h h ml h , I
h h w m, m m wh m h
I q whh w w h h h lh h h. m m, w h
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tE couragE to Et our kids soE tEir on probEs 73
h h h . W h m
wh h wh h w hl, w l h
h h ll l h wh l h
h. W w h h w ml m ll h m ll llw h m h lll l
h w m h w h h h
.
A l, w wh h m m h, q,
l 14l , ll
wm l h hl h
. Sh l A h mm B
A hl h. A
h h l h 21l A lw
hl .
Wh w h llw (l m m
ml) m m wh l
w 14 Wh w h hmhl l M? Wh
w h m h hh hl B A? Wh
w h h m ll 1 Wh
w h gEd mm ll
l , l h w j
ll h hmh 17 T w m
whh w l h h l h , w wh m m: hw helt, wh h
needed, hw w l m l pure loveh
h . I m h wl h j
hh hl ll,
wll hh hl llw h l
h lz hl
h w m ml.
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74 couragEous parEnts | conidEnt kids
BeCMING BLD PAReNS
Th m h h wh
l, w h h llw hm
l. Bl l h h m f w
l lm hm.
hl l wh w 1) hm h
l h h w 2) hm h
l wh . B l llw
l l; wh w m w m wh
m hml hwl hm, w l hm l h w
h l wh .
Te key to becoming a courageous parent is to pay attention to those
moments when ear and ego are guiding your behavior and make a
conscious shit to ocus on your child rather than yoursel. Wh
wh hll h h m
, l h h q:
1) Wh m hleelingh w?
2) Wh m hl needh w?
3) Wh wll h I f calm parental support
m hl l wh
h h llw m w , , , h
h m h mm?
A , w w lw h h
h. W . W . W j l tired.
A wh w , j q
m m h h l wh w
l l .
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tE couragE to Et our kids soE tEir on probEs 75
Y w mm j h. T
. T , wh ,
lw z w l h mm wh
m h l.B l ( l)
hl w . I h h
m h .
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78 couragEous parEnts | conidEnt kids
picking up a crying baby will spoil the child, children should be toilet-
trained by a prescribed age, inants should not be ed on demand.
I l mm, D. S mw
hm wh : Y w m h h . . . D w mm . . .
, w . C m h
m.
D. S h hl l mh hl
, h mml h hl h zz
hl lh h.
Whl m l, h whlm. ,
h , mh q h
ll q hm.
I h wh D. S 1987. H w h h
mh h m l h C wh h
mh , w. I w 22l l
Redbookmz, wh D. S w mhl hl
lm. Alhh I w wll m h
D. S w wh M. S S ,
I w wh h w h
lm mz w ml wm
jl h , ml, l. (Il,
hh D. S w 1998, ll h m DS.m).
A ml m l, wh I w
hm mh. I h l m mz
m h j Ml, l h
w h mm m whh I m w
l Nw J hm wh hl
w. Whl I w wh m w hw , ll m lh mz
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tE couragE to bEcoE your on parEnting EpErt 79
(wh l h m )
m mh l
hl. A I wh h wm, I hh h
ll I h w wm mz. eh w llm h hl w
hm . I w ll w 24/7
h ll h mll hl, wh h mz
wh l j w ll m hw
hm wh m .
Im m h ll , h
h m. T h hh m wm , I l w ll
wll h w ql
j wh whh h h h . B m
lm h h m m lz h h
wh mz, l, w
hw , hl m
hm hh l. I
m h m m m
wh h q h .
I h w, h wl z j wh
mh, Dh m, l, .
(P.S. Y Dh.)
He CRAGe FAIL He eS
Wh I m , I h What to Expect
, I z wh m
wl . (Am I Pl Lh mm? D. Bzl
?) I w m l h mw hh
m wh m J ( h l m) whh m h I h l mh.
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80 couragEous parEnts | conidEnt kids
Al , J h h hl l
l, h mhw h h
h h l l hl lh
D . (D h h h w wl m?)L, J l hl h l
h j, h w h h wl
h m hl hl lm
mz. (I m , Im m h .)
I h wh h mm , J w
jml l wh, h w, w
l h w. Alhh h h h hl w , h hl m
h m h hm . F
, w l, wh I w wh w
m h w l , J h w
m llw m l h mm. Wh
, h l m h h w h l h
h m h h.
Wh Im , I w J
m m h
m . Sh w ll jml hl
l h w h
. T h, h mm,
m , m h w h j mh. W l
wh, mh, w hl hl
hl.
H ll qz j hw mm . G
l 25 h l ll llw ( llw):
A m wh w l h 12
mh w
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tE couragE to bEcoE your on parEnting EpErt 81
B hl h l
Chl hl m 12
mh , l mlm,
hl l ll wh w
Chl w hl wh l,
hl h l hl wh m h
w h v
Hw ? I h,
l! B h , l h Am Am
P h Am Am P D.
I h, wll, j h l m
, l wh m Am
mm. H w wh l l ll wh h
:
Te car seat.M mh h hl w h hl m h
.., 19 13 mh, h 20 12
mh mmm . A h wm l mh
? N. T j w l m l h hl
w wh m h h wh
m h h h w.
Nursing. B mm h wm
h l, h hl , h
h h hl, , h h w. Am
wm l ll , ml
mm l m l,
ml mh l m h ml w.
T h mh l m wll h.
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82 couragEous parEnts | conidEnt kids
Te sippy cup. Fw l ( w h
l h m) ll
. R h wl l w
ml: , m , ll m h hl ml
j h . B ll, h mm wh
ll h l l w w ml
l h l m l m h
w ml j.
elevision. T l wm I m wh m
l h hl m m v l whl ll hl h h w ml mh wh l
h m h v l h . Im m
m hw mh l m wh hl.
B hl I ? Wh h wh v, h w
l hw l Sm S Bl Cl. Whl
hl hl m wh
v ll , hl mm h m l
w h mmhwhl hm Wl
e. C h R R L .
Whl w h j m m , l
mm m m l
mm, wh q hm, ml h , wh
m. l l Kll R, lm h w v hlh, h q
h h hl: I w h l h.
T llw wh h v w. D
l w, M l h h l
h hm l wh m, whh ll
w. Ah h h v
l l q l Kll R M (h whm h m mll m m ) h
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tE couragE to bEcoE your on parEnting EpErt 83
l mm wh m h ll h ml
h hl hm.
P lm h
m l wh, whl hhl h l, ll hm
l wh hl. Wh mh w m h
, w l l. A hlh ml wl
z h h h l wl h l wl. M
mh l h l wl wh l hl.
He CRAGe BeLIeve YRe He exPeR
L xIv F h l, Le, m.
ell, I m h S. Wh m h
hl, mh l , I m
h e.
I lh h l mz Literary Mama,
w D Sh l h h lll, h l hm w h , l l
h B Sl l l h
S I Dh Sm (SIDS). T
Sh h l? H m h
l l h ll. T l h
l h mh jm mm m
wh h l, h hl . Wh
w ll h , l hm l
hl h h ml, w h l w
l wm, h w. e hl
w h h ll wh w,
wh .
D, hm mh h wh m , Te Stay-at-Home Survival Guide, h
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84 couragEous parEnts | conidEnt kids
ml h : Wh m h w w
mh l, h l m l h
h. I mm l h . B m
h w lw h. Wh m w , I hm m wh h w w, h
h h h . I lz I w h !
M L ll hw h w h
h h . I h m mh
l hl, m w lwh ml
h l, l hm ll m m
hm l h l h, h .T hl w l h A D
D m. Wh w? All, I . Fm ,
h w l ml, h l wh
l l. Smh j m h, ll
h m h w .
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h v l l h h. T l h
h w w Sm S, h l. I h ml
h h, h , m ll l l. T
l ll hl wh v, Sm S l h
lm h h, ml hl. S h wh
v, l v, I w w w hw h
w w h h . , m A+ hl. H hl. H , m,
ml l. T Sm S.
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h wh h , I llw ll h l h
18 mh. T I l hm h . Amz
l h, h wl m , Im l
m l mm. (I h m l : m h
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tE couragE to bEcoE your on parEnting EpErt 85
m j mm wh q
ll w m .)
Sm wm, hh , , h,
m , l h h lm h .
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hl h. M l w
h h h l wl, h . Shm mh
h w mh , w h
l h v , .
Mh G l m, All m hl l h mh , h ll h l h w,
w, whl ml mh. N w
, h hl, h h 45
h h m w m j l lh
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: Alhh I l l, m hl
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hl. F ll. T
l w j w h , I h h
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Zl : Y
, h l m h hl hl
h h l. R, q, h
.
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8 couragEous parEnts | conidEnt kids
MHeR, KNW HYSeLF
P, l , mh . J h
m w m hl h , h m
w hl. Whl ll wll
m ll , wll
j , hh m l m, m
m h, m q ll . Smll,
whl h , wh , m ll, ll
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l) h j h w w.A w , lh w
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h wh m hl , m m I h
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h hl h I, ,
ml l.
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, , , . T , h
wh h mm l m h
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tE couragE to bEcoE your on parEnting EpErt 87
h . I hl h, l
ll (h B S h h
whl h Sv wh h h l), l
m h mm , mm, .
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, wll h wh m. M h I w l
l wh l h m
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. T hl m m m ll
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(l) l l l
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ll
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l, ll wh l hm,
h, wh h w . A h mm
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h .
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88 couragEous parEnts | conidEnt kids
l hlm hl j, h m
h h h , h m
. l m w h, wh
m w mh l , ll ( mh l). Hw,
w hl hh h I, hl m
l h l .
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whl h , h h wh h hl
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ll ?
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hl . B , h w
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tE couragE to bEcoE your on parEnting EpErt 89
l h hl w Nw Y wh w m
l h m h w.
Ill m h I ll l m 11l
hm h w whl I . I l hmwl wh m m h hl h. D I h
? Y, I . I l w wh ml w
m m m hl hm l h
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lllm m m hl h w hl
l h mm.
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l wm l mm. emlmm l w w .
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mm w w m h .
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h hm, , B S, h
h h T P Dl Fml H
Wh , Ah h , h h l h wll m l
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90 couragEous parEnts | conidEnt kids
h h hl. A h w q M Dw
New York imeslm: I whh wlh ,
h l l. Y I w w l wh
wl ll m h wh h h h wh wl llm h l h w h h h.
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h h h h h h
. W l hl, w mh l l h .
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llw h mh m. T m hl wm. I l h h h ll
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h l m. I ll wh
h h.
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ml mm, hm mm, wmhm mm),
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ll D P. Wh w lwh, ll, S m h , P,
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l h w lh, h h w.
w D P . Lh ll m h l h wh m h hl l
wh l h P h m h
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tE couragE to bEcoE your on parEnting EpErt 91
. I l h h, ( w
m w), l hm mm.
A h m, I w w m h llm. P, I l,
w. A h w ml, I l h, h l, h h hl l, h hl
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h.
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I h h m m m h .
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j z
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wh w ll h h m h .
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wll h llm, h h hl
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Wh w l mh, w m jm
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92 couragEous parEnts | conidEnt kids
m h h h h w
h. F , wh J (, h ) w ,
h mh wh mh. F
w m J f m m whl hm, h w l wh. m h l
h h ml.
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l l . W ll wh mh,
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wh ll h.
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h: B m hl w I h m mm, Hw
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l hm. H w w h h .Yll l h.
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t P f P s f K f a a
Amy McCready
P h Am MC h P
P Sl. H l mw wh
h ll ml mh wh ,
m, ll. Y l m h W ,
www.PPSl.m.
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l. l m m
q hm wh h wl ll hll h, hlh, l.
93
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94 couragEous parEnts | conidEnt kids
Ah h l q h w m w
hl l lh whl w llw
hm mll, w h h h .
Wh hh m wh h l ?
F l hl wh
F hl
F l h
F l
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ml.
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ll, h wll l m .
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, w h llw hl l,
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DePeNDeNCe INDePeNDeNCe
S hw w h? Illll, w w j hl
hl l mll l l
wh m l ll hll l ll,
m ml, m wh h lh .
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tE poEr o pErsona signiicancE or kids o a agEs 95
B, m m m l, I h l,
lm h h m,
l h , l
l m ll l. I l w wh ml whh h h hhl
l h l. Y, h wh
h h hh hl l m hl,
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l h hl, h h
w h.
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wh h h h
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w h. T wll l
h h hl m m
l :personal signicance.
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. T hl l l: hm , ,
lh, . M hl ml mwh
l .
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hw ml l .Belonging hl ml
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9 couragEous parEnts | conidEnt kids
l mm h ml hw h
h ll ml ll. P
l l positive
l m mll .Signicance h hl hml
l, l m f, ml w,
m m h w . T hl
hl l wl w. F h , h m
signicance personal power lhh h l
m hl.
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.
DeveLPING PeRSNAL SIGNIFICANCe
W h l h m,
l j hl m mll l l wl.
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h l .
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h ml. Sh w h h ml
h wl h hhl.
Allw hl m m h h
w . I l hl h l
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tE poEr o pErsona signiicancE or kids o a agEs 97
hl w wh h h
h wh h f hl h l
, h, ll l h l hl.
I m h mh hmw hl wh h l l
hm. A mm l hhl
h h h m. Sh h h
h w hl, h h h h j
l h h l. Mm h l m hm h
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h l h h wl l, h
h h h wl ll h hm
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l h ? T w mm !
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mm h h
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h wh lh , ll h
. T w h mm h wh
l m ml h h .
I h l , h
l l w. eh , h hl l m m ll , h h ll
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98 couragEous parEnts | conidEnt kids
h, l, ml, m
h hlw. H wll m l
h h ll, h z h h
l m f h ml.A h h h h hl
h h w lw l. T w, l D
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hm . T wh h
lm m h. T m h learned , h
m h wanted , h l
. D h h h mlhm wh h ll h hlw
h wll hl wh h ml .
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mw h lw h l, w, h l
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w h h h ml
ml w.
WH HLDS He PWeR IN YR FAMILY?
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ml h ml. T l
m . A mwh m zzl m personal power h h h
m l wh h.
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Tll , Hw h w? Sh w h
m h wpower.
T l w l ml h
l l. I h wll h mm l l , l m
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tE poEr o pErsona signiicancE or kids o a agEs 99
, wh h . F l w
hl . I q h w l m
w h hl m m h w w.
Whl hl m llll w, h hw wh . T
hh l. A wll l h
l h. A l wll m h
ll , I ! wh m
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ml hl m l h wl
w.
Im h m l wh wh z
h m l w: , m
h h . . . m , Ch
. . . m h, l m h . . .Wh h l m m h w
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100 couragEous parEnts | conidEnt kids
l m h , h l ll ml
h lh l, wl h w h
l, m F L Ch, l m
h h , ll h !I ll ll m w w hw
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l. T h l h l
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m m l h wh hmw, whh
ml h , whh wh , whh
, whh ll .
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. , h m m , h
m j h wh h w.
Whh l m , h
h m h hl l w
h ll . T hl m
h h m! P h h w h hl h hl
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tE poEr o pErsona signiicancE or kids o a agEs 101
h m h w l, h l
h .
FSeRING SIGNIFICANCe ReQIReS INeNIN
F l hl h
m; w. I , m m
intentional h hl h
. I h f w h
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. T w h w m f h ml . Wh h hl hl, h m
wl m l
lh. , m h h h l
l hl h
h , l, hl l m
wh h hhl.
Fw ml ll ml m . m w m h
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102 couragEous parEnts | conidEnt kids
ll h m ml l ll hl
h w l m l. M
h j hl w h
: wh, w, hl, ml ,. Whl h m l ll
h , w m z h h hl h
m ll ml .
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h .
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ll. Yll j h l m
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ml . A ll f m m f
wll f wh h w h wh
h l l .
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m h , w l h
h w w mw .
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q w?
L l h m 30,000 w.
PWeR AND He PAReNING CNINM
Phl D Bm, h 197 h, l mm l, ll ,
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tE poEr o pErsona signiicancE or kids o a agEs 103
l . T l h h
l m m m
l (h) h h.
Pm m ll lm,, ll m q. T
m l ll h
hl h hl l h . I lm , h
ql h
h hl.
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h w, llw h hl h wh mm h w wh l h
. l, h m l wl
hl l w
h ll . Hw, wh
wh m l ll h
h mw h m .
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m q l h hl h hl
l m h h .
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hl h mj h w. T m
m h , m l wh
l hm . Sh h hlh, I m w, h hhw
hll h m h l.
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l h h w l, l, h
l ll m, lm l, j
m. I hl l m
h q h h, hw h l h f w
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104 couragEous parEnts | conidEnt kids
h? Cql, mm h l
l wh w wl h m
h h m l w m hm
l q wh h h.
He PRBLeMS WIH PeRMISSIveAND AHRIARIAN PAReNING
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h wh l m, h
m h h hl l h hl h h hm wh h l m h hh . Hw,
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l. Pm l h lm
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wl h h hm h
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h hl m lh hl . h , h m
l h l ll h
l m h wh h hl m
m. l, h h ll h
l . Chl wh l hm
j blame, shame, and pain hm m ll
ml, m wh h w h .
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tE poEr o pErsona signiicancE or kids o a agEs 105
PeNDLM PAReNING
h w h m l
h w h m h m h
h h lm . Plm ll h
l h h ml h m. T
ll wh l lm
q. T, ml l z h m h,
h l llw hh h q.
ell, wh h l q w
h l. Mh l m h h m w. BAM!
Nw h wh h h h
m. L w ll h m h.
B h lm h
l w.
PSIIve DISCIPLINe A MRe CRAGeS APPRACH
W h h w m h
l. W m h lm both
m wh lm. T h P
Dl , whh m mw ll
lm wh m.
I q h hl m m h.
I h h hl m m h h
h, l l l q,
hl h hl l h h ml
m h ll q. I
hl ml wh m
m hwyou w h . A mm . T h P
Dl h.
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10 couragEous parEnts | conidEnt kids
P llw h l P Dl wll
hm l wh h hl h w
l lm l h
ml. Chl wh llw m wh lm l . T
w l l, w h h wl
h ml, w h h h h
h l.
GIve PWeR eMPWeR: HRee SRAeGIeS
FR FReeDM WIHIN LIMIS
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, l l h w m
hl l l .
emw hl wh l
q h w h l w wh
, lmll w. T h lw m h P Dl h
w hl.
Provide kids with more positive choices. Chl ll w
m h f h l. G w m
l w f h wh lm.
e l h h : D w
h llw wl wh wl? D w l h h l ? elm
w l: D hmw
? Wl h h l l h
h? A : Wl h
m h m h l ? G
h hl h h m, hl,
hm m l hh
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tE poEr o pErsona signiicancE or kids o a agEs 107
h . A l ll llw hh l
h hmw, h m m hw
wh h m h l. N h h
h l w h , mll, h h lw ,
, h lmm. eh m hl m
, h l w . eh
h m
m h l l h h m
jm ll.
Involve kids in amily decisions and problem solving. L m l w hl
ml . Il hl h m
h h m l ll.
I wh l realml ,
l h lm wh h .
F ml:
W f h ll h
w. L ml wh wll .
W Gm mh
h. L ml wh
w w m l h w.
W h lm wh mm h h. L w h m wh l.
emw hl ml m
lm l h l ,
h , h l l ll h
wll hm wll lh.
Give kids responsibilities and hold them accountable. h hl l Al hl, h
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108 couragEous parEnts | conidEnt kids
P Dl, hl wh
h hl.
P lw mz hw l
h hl hl ql , Wh h h hm? Wll, h . . . w hm
h h! W m hw l hl could be
wh ll m, l, w
h hm.
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h m l ml w h .
h mm l ll, h
hl h ml. h m
hl h m h
h hl h l . F ml,
hl h w lh,
h , mw hm wh h l
h . H h h
f h w, h h m hm
m lh hm wh h hm.
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h h l ql h hl.
I h lz h h wh h ll m h h m, h h mhz, .
L h natural consequences hl h
l wh l. T m l ,
hl m ll l h l
m h . Bl m . . . h w
h hl wll
m h l !
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tE poEr o pErsona signiicancE or kids o a agEs 109
FINDING He BALANCe
T h hl h hm
l . . . A h hl l h
m h m. T l
z h h wh h hl wll lw
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hl. Wh w m m wh l
m l w mw hl, mz
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h w m l. T ml wll l l
m wh w h h mm .A, ll, theyll want to be with us. Tll l m
m wh h l . Wll h
ml wll l j , ml !
Wh l h h?
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im w i w t M, b h d i sp?
Jamie Wool
Jm Wl h m l/zl
hl 25 l
l. B h w z z, h T P L, m h
wh hl m lw l
h ll m h l hll
l. Jm l h h Mom-in-Chie: How
Wisdom rom the Workplace Can Save Your Family rom Chaos
h Ph Cl, z l
m l m. Sh l l, Cl wh
h h w h. l m T PL , www.MmCh.m.
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