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CORPORATE EMAIL LANGUAGEWhat is really means, between the lines..!

This is not just a status report out - it is a showcase of the thinking and the depth of solution Weve not made much progress. So lets just try and intellectualize a bit by being obscure and directionless

Please keep me regularly posted on the progress of the projects. I want daily reports Please keep my inbox filled so I can fill in my time sheet. Otherwise I have nothing constructive to do, really.

Thank you. It was a great session. I hope it would be fine, if I reach out to you with some questions which I might face while assessing the client situations I did not understand anything you just said. But when I am clueless in front of a client, as has often been the case, I will reach out to you.

Lets be practical about this. We need to prioritize and proceed from there on I hate you and your proposal(s). And, I have limited time and budget so please bugger-off!

Lets be practical about this. We need to prioritize and proceed from there on I hate you and your proposal(s). And, I have limited time and budget so please bugger-off!

This is a great effort. Lets see if this can be simplified a bit WTF is this!? We are not trying to launch a spaceship, mate!

Lets review this a few times through the week with different people to make sure we get the messaging right I have no clue what is needed to be said and am certain that whatever I say, I will get my arse kicked.

This is a great idea! Lets put some facts and numbers to add credibility Dude, this sounds like common sense, doesnt it? Lets make it complicated and twist it around with obscure statistics to ensure we dont make everyone look like fools.

Lets work on some of the opportunities for improvement to make you ready for the next role. Promotion? Really?? Have you looked in the mirror lately!?

Lets POSITION THIS BETTER This is sad and I am not sure you needed to be paid to come up with this. Go and see if you can salvage you job!