community links issue 157

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FeaturesJune 18, 2010

The Merging of Two Souls

The music starts and my chatan,my groom, is about to be led tome. He will cover my face with aveil, in order to shield the holi-ness, the Divine Presence, whichrests on the face of a bride.

By Sarah Esther Crispe

Healing SnakesThis wasn’t about the snake at all,this was about getting the Jews tolift up their eyes to heaven and ac-knowledge their mistake, andthrough this recognition, G-dhealed them.Rabbi Reuven Wolf

Sorry for NothingOne young soldier, who grewup on a totally secular kib-

butz in the northern portion of thestate gazed at the sight of his com-rades crying like children as theystared up at the ancient stones.Suddenly, he, too began to wail.

Rabbi Mordechai KaminetzkyParshas Balak

Why I Did Not SailAround the Worldat Age 16

Before I could go anywherewhen I was 16, I had to tell mymom exactly where I was goingand what time I would be back.She would then respond that Ineeded to be home an hour ear-lier than I had said as it was aschool night. Dr. Robert Rome

community links • Volume 6 Issue 157

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By R

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ome,

Ph.

D.

Why I Did Not Sail Around the World at Age 16


News Item from last week: 16 yearold California girl activates emergency signalafter 30-foot waves hit her sailboat, seeminglyending her attempt to sail round the world.Girl’s condition is not known as she may be lostat sea.

News Item from May 1966: NaomiRome grounds son Robert for 30 days after hemisses once again his school-night curfew by 15minutes and comes home from youth group ac-tivity at 10:15 p.m. on a Sunday night.

Before I could go anywhere when Iwas 16, I had to tell my mom exactlywhere I was going and what time Iwould be back. She would then respondthat I needed to be home an hour earlierthan I had said as it was a school night.

My Jewish friends tell me that they hadthe same experiences as teenagers.Their mothers needed to know theirwhereabouts at all times. Jewish teenshave shared the same experience overthe decades. Jewish mothers havewanted to know where their teenagechildren are, at all times. They havewanted to know with who their childrenwould be during the evening. There wasalso a reminder to put on a sweater.

Now, anxious Jewish moms call theirteens on the cell phone, inquiring abouttheir current location and whether theywill be home on time.

With millions of Jewish teens sharingthese same experiences through theyears, it is with wonderment to hearabout any mom, Jewish or not, who letsher 16 year old girl go out alone on asailboat to sail around the world. Whatkind of mom would let her 16 year oldboy or girl sail in the middle of wintermonths in the south Indian Ocean, anarea prone to huge winter storms withgigantic waves and strong winds? Whatkind of mom even lets her teenager sailout of the Marina del Rey harbor on theway to nearby Catalina? The answer:Not my mother, and not most Jewishmothers I know.

I used to be a good football player.Whether playing in the local street orscrimmaging in school physical educa-tion class in flag or touch football, Iwould always play quarterback as I couldthrow a spiral pass for a great distancewhile evading the rushers. Yet, I wouldnot even ask my mother whether I couldplay high school football for my highschool’s championship team. I knewwhat the answer would be: “No youcan’t play on the football team. Youmight get hurt.” How many talentedJewish boys gave up a future NFL con-tract as they would not be allowed toplay a sport in which they excelled?While there have been some Jewish kidswho make it to the Olympics on suchteams as the gymnastics or the swimteams, these are the rarities. Littleleague, maybe. Daily 5:00 a.m. two-hourswims in the pool before school, no way.

It is hard to understand the evolutionof the Jewish mother. That Jewishmothers are different has been high-lighted in a Phillip Roth novella wherehe describes being the only boy inNewark in the 1950’s who could not goout without a sweater on a 70 degreeday. It seems that there has been rela-tively little change in the behavior ofJewish mothers since the 50’s. Jewishmothers protect. They create a highlystructured, protective environment inwhich we mature. The Los AngelesSheriff ’s Department may perform acurfew check of teens who may still beat the Universal City Walk after the 10:00legal curfew for minors. Jewish kids areseldom caught in the curfew roundup asthe fear of the reaction of Jewish moth-ers sends Jewish kids home, often evenbefore the sheriffs make their rounds.

Jewish law dictates various obligationsthat parents have in regard to their sonsand daughters. Parents must teachTorah to their children. They must alsoteach them a trade. It is obligatory toarrange to marry them. Parents even

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have the obligation according to many Rabbis to teach achild to swim. But perusing the entire Gemara will notproduce a single law or reason dictating the need to knowthe teenage child’s GPS location at all times.

Maybe the derivation of the Jewish mother’s strict guide-lines derived from years of living in places prone to non-Jewish marauders who attacked Jews in pogroms inEurope and elsewhere. If the Jewish teen did not obey,the Jewish child might have been exposed to getting kid-napped in 19th Century Europe. The Jewish teenager wasforced to keep close to home. It was the mother whohelped to keep Jewish children safe.

The strictures of Europe continued as families movedto the United States. Even though there were no longerpogroms, the Jewish teens remained cautioned “for theirown protection.” Put on the sweater. Come home before10:00 p.m. Don’t spend time with those bad kids. Theseand other statements have kept American Jewish teens intheir place.

My mother’s seemingly obsessive concerns for my safetycontributed to the person I am as well as the parent I tryto be. I had to master control over my schedule at a fairlyyoung age. As a result of the pressure from my mother,I developed the habit to be on time. I had to take controlover time. This enabled me to plan what I wanted to doin the day, which in turn allowed me to accomplish more.

While Jewish mothers today seem to inherit their ownmother’s concerns about their teens, some factors put atrisk the very role of the Jewish mother. It is hard formothers with a full day’s work schedule of their own tofollow through about their teen’s schedules. Also, withthe many separated and divorced families, the single par-

ents can’t provide the presence that stay-at-home momsand two-parent families have previously provided. Also,with the current economy and economic pressures, par-ents often have their minds on things other than their chil-dren.

At the time of my teenage years, I had mixed feelingstoward my mom’s role in my life. I was sure that havingmy mother “on my back” needlessly took my energiesaway from my friends and my preferred activities withfriends.

In retrospect, I now realize that my mom gave me thegift of responsibility. I gained a respect toward prompt-ness and a full understanding of time. I learned to live upto my obligations. Many times, I did not really like mymother’s demands. I did not enjoy the consequences ofnot living up to those demands, namely being groundedor otherwise punished. But I now know that the successesI have achieved are in large measure the result of the di-rection and guidance of my mother and of my father.

No, my mother would never have permitted me to gosailing alone. I never would have encircled the world. Iwould never have had to face 30 foot waves alone. But Iwould not have changed anything. As I have matured, Ihave come to respect the role my mother played.

Jewish teens taking great risks like sailing around theworld remain an oddity. However, disciplined Jewish teensare still able to complete medical schools, law schools,Ph.D.’s, and so many other accomplishments because ofthe unique role that Jewish mothers have occupied in theirlives.

Thank you Mom. May your memory always be a bless-ing. •

Robert J. Rome, Ph.D., is a licensed Psychologist in clinical practice in Encino, CaliforniaHe can be reached at [email protected].

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Within the Parsha of Chukaswe learn about the tragedythat befell upon the Jewish

people when they complained to Moshethat they were tired of life in the desert.G-d punished them swiftly by unleash-ing a plague of venomous snakes ontothe camp. They quickly realized theirmistake and came running to Moshe,asking for his forgiveness, and beggingthat he pray on their behalf, that G-dshould take away the horrific plague.Moshe quickly forgave them whole-heartedly, he prayed for them, and G-dprovided a solution: Moshe raised acopper sculpture of a venomous snakeon a high pole for everyone to see. Any-one who was suffering from a snakebite gazed up at the snake and washealed.

The Mishna, in tractate RoshHaShana explains: “Does a snake bringdeath or give life? Rather, this teaches us thatall the time that the Jewish people gaze upwardand yield their hearts to their Father in heaven,they are healed…” This wasn’t about thesnake at all, this was about getting theJews to lift up their eyes to heaven andacknowledge their mistake, and throughthis recognition, G-d healed them.

But why did Moshe need a snake todeliver this lesson? We are especiallycareful in Judaism when it comes to per-sonification and symbols of mysticalpower. Moshe could have told them tolook towards heaven, or rallied them toteshuva through a fiery and passionatespeech filled with rebuke and encour-agement. Or, he could have pointed up-ward, like he did at the war withAmalek. What is the inherent lesson tobe learned from that snake?

We all know that Hashem is inherentlygood and positive, without a speck ofevil or negativity. Everything He doesor creates must also be completelygood. G-d decided that there is to be acreation, and placed us within, to make

it a dwelling place for Him, and downhere, in our lives, we experience andenjoy the pleasures and rewards of life.But if G-d is completely good and thecreation is completely His, how is it thatso many negative things exist all aroundus?

We all know about, or G-d forbid,have experienced some kind of hurt,tragedy, confusion or loneliness. Thesedon’t make our lives better. Besides this,we are all born with an evil inclinationinside of us. This evil inclination, ouryetzer hara, constantly distracts us withjealously and arrogance, as well as un-healthy lusts and cravings for things thataren’t good for us. Why did G-d createthe world this way? How could He havecreated a world with so much miseryand pain?

Olam Chesed Yibaneh – the underlyingforce that drives creation is G-d’s kind-ness. This world is all about G-d’s loveand kindness in every single moment ofits existence. The Baal Shem Tovteaches that Hashem recreates the worldevery instant. So, every exact detail ofthe entire universe, each and every mo-ment, is one that G-d is continuouslycreating with His kindness. There hasnever been, and never will be a momentin time that the creation isn’t completelypermeated with G-d’s goodness.

The Talmud (Berachot 59b) teachesus that on the occasion of hearing ei-ther good or bad news, a person shouldreceive it with a blessing infused withjoy. It is, of course, understandable tomake a blessing over good news, buthow can we be expected to express joyover bad news? The Torah doesn’t wantus to be disingenuous and never asks usto do something impossible, but thisdoesn’t seem reasonable! A blessingmight be appropriate when we hear badnews as an acknowledgement or accept-ance of G-d’s sovereignty, but whyshould someone be happy when they


receive tragedy?

The Kabbalists and Chasidic Masters teach us thateverything, even pain and tragedy, has a spiritual sourcewhich is completely good. In the Supreme, DivineKindness, there are two channels in which the energyflows into the creation, a concealed higher channel anda revealed lower channel.

Hashem contracts his kindness and it is channeledthrough the spiritual worlds until it finally reaches us.Sometimes, the kindness and goodness that G-d wantsto send to us is so great that it won’t fit through thelower channel and must therefore flow through thehigher, but more concealed, channel. When it comesthis way, however, the physical, revealed world is notyet a fitting receptacle for the great goodness of thislight, and this incongruity results in the goodness pre-senting itself as something dark and negative withinthe creation.

An analogy for this is one of teacher and student.One day, a deep and profound new idea comes intothe teachers mind and the teacher wants nothing morethan to share this revolutionary, earth shattering per-spective with the students. The teacher knows that thestudents are not mature or experienced enough to un-derstand it, perhaps they never will be, and when theyhear it, they might become completely confused orlost. Yet, the idea is so great that the teacher can’t bearthe thought of holding it back from them, and perhapsthey will gain something from it, now or in the future.The next day in class, the teacher presents the lessonto a bewildered and frustrated class. Some of the stu-dents are completely shocked, others become appalledand angry, others completely reject the lesson, but theteacher had to share it. The next class, the teacherwants to continue the new material, but having triedhis best, he knows the students can’t handle it – someof them aren’t even back in school – so he goes backto his usual lesson, and the students are happy and ex-ited to learn again. The teacher, however is now frus-trated feels limited. What is brilliant and luminous tothe teacher is incomprehensible and utter darkness tothe the students, and what is brilliant and exiting to thestudents feels completely dark and limited to theteacher. The only reason the teacher returns to the oldlessons, is to keep his relationship with the students.Perhaps, again in the future the teacher will try again,to see if the students will react more positively to thenew lesson.

We also find this between parent and child. Parentswant to give all of their love to the child, but the child’sperception and understanding of goodness is imma-ture and incomplete. In child’s list of really good thingsincludes a lot of toys and sweets, a lot of days awayfrom school and other similar things. In the parent’smind, sweets aren’t healthy and skipping school is isn’tvery good either. The parent knows what the childneeds to be successful in life and wants only the bestfor this child, but in order to be a responsible parent,there needs to be a balance. If the child never seesgoodness, and only sees darkness and discipline com-ing from the parent, the family will not have a healthyrelationship, and the child may even rebel against theparents. Spoiling and always giving in to the child willalso create an unhealthy child. To strike a balance, par-ents must compromise their adult, mature understand-ing of good, and from time to time, give the child littlethings, childish things, to build a relationship of trustand raise a healthy and successful child.

Both of these examples are limited to the realm ofhuman experience, where the teacher and the students,or the parent and child and limited by a few years ofexperience and maturity. With only these small differ-ences we can clearly see the miscommunication andmisunderstandings that are possible. How much moreso, when it comes to the difference between us and G-d, who is infinite and limitless? The Baal Shem Tovsays, we are each like G-d’s only child, and He takescare of each of us like a loving parent, giving us what’sis good, what we need and what we want. Sometimes,G-d is doing good to us from a level which He sees asthe ultimate kindness, but our limited understandingand judgment can’t see what is really going on. Hestrikes a balance between the lower, revealed goodnessand the higher, concealed goodness.

The same goes for our evil inclination, the yetzerhara. Up in heaven, in the highest spiritual realms, theevil inclination is a dedicated servant of G-d. It’s taskis to test us, so that we should pass the test, and proveour loyalty, love and dedication to G-d. But as the evilinclination, the primordial snake, slithers its way intoour hearts, it is darkened and concealed, workingthrough even darker agents and devices in our worldthat completely hide this true desire and purpose.When we struggle with arrogance and greed, with darktemptations and desires, we must remember that theroot and source of this struggle is divine. The desire


to sin doesn’t make a person evil. The stronger anddarker the craving, the more Hashem trusts us to passthe test and do what is right. We must each tell ouryetzer hara that we know its divine source, and that itis just tingling us to prove we can make the correctchoice.

This is the lesson of the snake in Chukas. The Jew-ish people were bitten by two kinds of snakes. Thefirst is sin – the snake within our hearts, a descendentof the primordial snake from Gan Eden, whichtempts and lures us away from G-d. The second snakeis one that brings pain and suffering - the harsh beat-ings we take in life. These emissaries of judgmentsting us and make life difficult for us.

Hashem told Moshe to take the snake and lift it ona pole – to remind the Jewish people that these snakesbelow, the yetzer hara and the suffering and pain –their source comes from the supernal snake above,the G-dly judgment as it is in its source, which con-tains only goodness and kindness. Moshe lifted it upso that the Jews would see the snake and trace theirsuffering back to its source, to lift the veils of creationand see the divine sweetness of the source of all judg-ments.

It is important to always keep this lesson in mind,and receive the suffering along with joy. However, itis also a mitzvah, and required of us, to pray to G-dwhenever we have any kind of troubles. Furthermore,when it comes to another person’s troubles, it is notappropriate to share this lesson with them during atime of pain. Our place is not to try and justify or ex-plain away their distress, rather, we are supposed toprovide a shoulder of understanding and support,and immediately cry out and pray for them, perhapsdemand, that the suffering should stop immediately.

May we all experience only goodness, until we de-stroy all of the darkness and reveal the ultimate good-ness with the coming of Moshiach, very soon.•

Excerpt from "The Parsha In My Life" class by Rabbi Reuven Wolf.

Maayon Yisroel was founded by Rabbi Reuven Wolf, arenowned educator and inspiring lecturer who has devoted

his life to reaching out and rekindling the spirit of Yiddishkeitin his fellow Jew. Over the past five years Rabbi Wolf has

been teaching a 2-4 hour class on the weekly Parsha, namedaffectionately "The Thursday Night Shiur".


The laws of the parah adumah, the red heifer, haveenraptured mortals since the day it was commanded.There was no reason or rationale given for it. Thenations of the world, baffled by it, mocked our ob-servance of it. Even King Solomon, the wisest ofmen, claimed to be stupefied by its reasoning. AndMoshe was the only mortal that understood theessence of its every nuance.

Its laws are complex, its symbolism mysterious, andthe logic of its repercussions quite enigmatic. Thered heifer's ashes purify those who have becometamei, yet the administrating Kohen who was tahor be-comes tamei! There is no logic behind that occur-rence; yet that is the law. So sacred was the red heiferthat Moshe and Aaron sacrificed, that it ashes weresaved from generation to generation. Each additionalred-heifer offering was added to the remnants of theprevious, so that the new ashes would mix with thevestigial ashes of Moshe's original heifer. Hundredsof generations and thousands of Kohanim and Is-raelites who performed the mitzvah of parah ad-umah believed with unquestioning faith in the law'sritual divinity and power.

I have one simple question. Why were these com-plex, hidden, and very spiritual laws placed smack inthe middle of the Book of Bamidbar? The enigmati-cal laws of purity and impurity are almost entirelyrelegated to Sefer VaYikra. That sefer discusses sac-rificial offerings. It also details a host of physio-spir-itual maladies, among them, the laws of tzora'as, zav,zavah, nidah, and so forth. Shouldn't the mystical re-quirements of the Parah Adumah join its counter-parts together with the laws of the Kohanim? Why isit placed in the Book that recounts the stories ofhuman folly -the malicious uprising of Korach, themiscalculations of the spies, the unfaithfulness ofthe sotah, the complaints against the heavenly fareof manna? What significance does the juxtapositionof these seemingly unexplainable rituals, obviouslynot congruent with mortal logic doing with the talesof error and miscalculation?

One evening during World War II, Senator Ken-neth McKellar of Tennessee could not sleep. Aschairman of the Senate appropriations committee,he could not understand why the administration was

PARSHAS CHUKAS

Chukas Pocus


requesting some $2,000,000,000 towards certain unusual sci-entific research.

He called Secretary of War Henry L. Stimson and beganto shout. "Do you expect me to sanction this tremendousappropriation without any idea as to where it is going!"

Stimson kept quiet. He pondered and hesitated, then heasked, "Can you keep a secret?" After McKellar assured himthat he could, Stimson whispered, "We are about to split theatom."

McKellar exploded. "Are you crazy? This is a war! We havemen out there! We need guns! We need planes! We need am-munition! And you guys are fooling around with some hocuspocus -- splitting atoms!"

It was only months later that McKellar, along with the en-tire world learned the power of this seemingly incompre-hensible and esoteric exercise. Perhaps there is no betterplace to expound the laws of parah adumah than in the mid-dle of Sefer Bamidbar. For it is this Torah section that dis-cusses a generation that thinks they are able to calculate anddefine everything. It tells of spies who return from Canaanand exclaim that according to their calculations there is no

logical way that Israel will conquer the land. It tells of Korach,who complained that according to his calculations he shouldbe the prince of the tribe of Levi. Its Midrash tells of Korachgathering 250 men and ranting that according to his logic amezuzah is unnecessary in a room filled with sacred books.It talks about false leaders who would be satisfied if onlythe spirit of the law is fulfilled, even if the letter of the lawis not. Bamidbar even contains the story of Miriam, who, ac-cording to her reasoning, spoke ill of her brother Moshe. Itdiscusses Jews who wanted meat rather than manna.

When humans make mortal calculations to redefine Torahlaw, there is no better time and place to talk about red heifersand the complex and esoteric laws thereof. The red cow andits laws represent the total omnipotence of Hashem, be itspirit, in logic, or in mechanics. It exclaims that that thoughwe may search for rhyme and reason of Torah, we still mustobserve the mitzvos He commanded, regardless if we un-derstand them. For there will always be some aspect thatmay only appear to us as mysterious as hocus pocus. Yetwith uncalculating faith we must realize that there is greatmethod to the many aspects we cannot deem mortal. In thatmanner we shall merit to be totally committed to Hashem'sTorah, and not our mortal vision of it. •


LA protest: Turkey has blood on its handsSome 5,000 people, including politicians, actors, community leaders, participate in BeverlyHills rally in support of Israel, carry signs reading, 'Peace activists don't use knives and axes'

and 'Shame on Turkey.' Governor Schwarzenegger speaks with Noam Shalit

Yitzhak Benhorin contributed to this report

LOS ANGELES - As anti-Israel protests are being heldthroughout the world following Israel's raid on a Gaza-bound flotilla, a rally in support of Israel was held Sundayin Los Angeles in which 5,000 people participated. Thekeynote speaker at the rally, which was organized by the Is-raeli consulate in the city, was noneother than California GovernorArnold Schwarzenegger.

Supporters of Israel marched alongWilshire Boulevard in Beverly Hillscarrying Israeli flags in the largest pro-Israel rally in the US since last week'sflotilla raid. In addition to Israelis andJews, the rally was also attended byleaders from the Iranian, Armenian,and Mexican communities, as well asCatholic clergymen.

In the background, the songs AmYisrael Chai, David Melech Yisrael,and Hatikva were played over a loud-speaker system. One of the partici-pants blew the shofar. Thousandsshouted: "Turkey is a friend ofHamas."

The protesters carried signs with photographs of thosethey called "pacifists" beating IDF soldiers with clubs.Below the photos was the title: "Peace activists don't useknives and axes." Another photograph shows a range ofknives and axes with above the title: "Humanitarian aid –knives, axes, and clubs."

In addition, signs were waved that said "Shame onTurkey," "Israel wants peace," and "Turkey – you have bloodon your hands."

Release Gilad now

Schwarzenegger told the crowd he supports Israel and itsright to defend itself. He spoke with Noam Shalit, the fatherof captured Israelis soldier Gilad Shalit. The conversationbetween the two was played over the loudspeakers for the

crowd to hear.

Shalit called upon the rally participants not to stop fightingfor Gilad's release. Schwarzenegger said that, being a fatherof four, he could not imagine what it would feel like if one

of his children were held hostage, and,therefore, is calling for Gilad to be re-turned home.

Noam Shalit also said during thephone conversation that his son hasbeen held hostage for four years, with-out one day of light, without anyonebeing allowed to visit him. He said thathis son is slowly disappearing and calledupon the crowd to help release hisbeloved son before its too late.

The Israeli Consul-General in Los An-geles Yaakov Dayan took the stagewrapped in an Israeli flag, and calledupon Israel supporters everywhere inthe world not to be afraid to rally infavor of the country.

Cable news channels broadcast someof the rally live. Among the speakers at

the rally were Oscar-winning actor John Voight, AngelinaJolie's father, who presented himself as a supporter of Is-rael, and Democrat Congressman Brad Sherman and Re-publican Congresswoman Michelle Bachmann.

Religious officials also attended the rally. Catholic priestsspoke in favor of Israel in Spanish and in English.

Among the rabbis attending the event was head of theWiesenthal Center Rabbi Hier, who said that the aid flotillapassengers must remove their cover of peace activists be-hind which thy are hiding and reveal their true faces as ter-rorists.

Prof. Yehuda Pearl, father of reporter Daniel Pearl whowas murdered in Pakistan, also spoke at the rally, saying thatthe fight against Hamas and Iran is a fight between civiliza-tion and barbarism. •


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We are all fascinated by inanimate or animalobjects that speak. The '60s had TV viewerskvelling over talking horses, even talking

cars. And an entire industry was based on the concept ofa talking mouse. But this week a talking animal is no joke.The Torah tells us about a talking animal that brought nolaughs to its rider and teaches a serious lesson to us all.

Bilaam, the greatest prophet that the gentile world hadseen, was hired by Balak, King of Moab, for one mission:curse the Jews. Bilaam's feigned reluctance was quicklyturned to exuberance when offers of honors and greatwealth were added as signing bonus, and first thing in themorning he saddled his trusteddonkey and was on his way. Heplanned to travel to an over-look, where he would cast hisspell on the Jewish Nation asthey camped innocently be-neath the wicked gaze of Balakand his employee, Bilaam, the prophet.

But Hashem had different plans. As Bilaam's donkey am-bled toward a narrow passage, it saw a frightening sight.An angel, with a sword thrust forward, blocked its path.The beast turned off the road into a field, and Bilaamstruck the animal to get it back on the road. But again theangel stood in the passageway and the poor donkey, in fear,squeezed tightly against a stone wall, pressing Bilaam's legagainst the wall. The great prophet, who so haughtily strad-dled the donkey, did not see the angelic figure and reactedviolently. Again he hit his donkey; this time harder . Butthe angel did not retreat. He began approaching the donkeyand its rider. Suddenly the donkey crouched in panic, andBilaam struck it again. But this time the donkey did not actlike a mule. She spoke up. Miraculously, Hashem opened

her mouth, and she asked Bilaam, "why did you hit me? Aren'tI the same animal that you have ridden your entire life? Should notmy strange behavior give cause for concern?" (Numbers 22:28)

When the angel, sword in hand, finally revealed himself,and chided Bilaam for striking the innocent animal, Bilaamwas flabbergasted. He was left speechless save for one sen-tence. "I have sinned, for I did not know that you were standing op-posite me on the road. And if you want, I shall return" (Numbers22:34).

What is disturbing is Bilaam's immediate admission ofsin. If he could not see the angel why did he admit guilt?

Many riders would hit a donkey that presses their footagainst the wall or crouches downamidst a group of a king's officers.Bilaam should have simply stated tothe angel, "I did not know you werethere and thought my beast was act-ing in a manner that required disci-pline." Why the apology? If he truly

did not know that the angel was there, why did he admitto sinning?

On one of the final days of the Six Day War the Israelitroops pierced through enemy fortifications and forgedtheir way through the ancient passageways of Jerusalem.As if Divine gravitational force was pulling them, onegroup of soldiers dodged the Jordanian bullets and pro-ceeded until there was no reason to continue. They hadreached the Kotel HaMaravi, the Western Wall, the holiestplace in Judaism, the site of both the First and SecondTemples. The young men, some of whom had yeshiva ed-ucation, others who came from traditional backgrounds,stood in awe and began to cry in unison. The Kotel hadbeen liberated!

Sorry for NothingPARSHAS BALAK


One young soldier, who grew up on a totally secular kib-butz in the northern portion of the state gazed at the sightof his comrades crying like children as they stared up atthe ancient stones. Suddenly, he, too began to wail.

One of the religious soldiers, who had engaged in count-less debates with him, put his arm around him and asked,"I don't understand. To us the Kotel means so much. It isour link with the Temple and the holy service. This is themost moving experience of our lives. But why are you cry-ing?"

The young soldier looked at his friend, and amidst thetears simply stated, "I am crying because I am not crying."

Bilaam, the greatest of gentile prophets, realized that

something must be wrong. A simple donkey saw the rev-elation of an angel. He did not. He realized that there areexperiences he should have been able to grasp and appre-ciate. If he didn't it was not a donkey's fault. It was not anangel's fault. It was his fault. He realized then and therethat it was he who was lacking.

How often does G-d cry out to us in newspaper head-lines, be it earthquakes, wildfires, or human tragedies? Weshould stare at the sight and see the divine figure standingwith an outstretched sword. We do not. We flip the paperand strike at the donkeys who struck out.

We ought to cry at the tragedies of life, and if we do notrealize that they are there, we ought to cry about that.Then one day we will all smile. Forever. •

by Rabbi Mordechai Kamenetzky


The Merging of Two SoulsA Bride Describes the Experience of an Orthodox Jewish Wedding


It has been an entire week. As per ourtradition, I have not seen him or spo-ken with him. I have not even heard

his voice. And yet I have his picture in my mind, his wordsin my heart and his being engraved in my soul.

It is the day of our wedding and I wake early to prepare.Externally I am having my hair done, my nails, mymakeup. But within I am in a completely different world.I recite psalms trying to infuse every moment with holi-ness. I fast as it is my personal Yom Kippur, my Day ofAtonement and I ask forgiveness for my past while cleans-ing and preparing for our new future.

In my wedding dress I represent a queen and I pray forthe ability to be a crown to my husband. Not to be hisdecoration, but to be the tie between his superconsciousand his conscious, to enable him to be his best. Just as acrown rises above the head and yet connects with it aswell, so too the Jewish woman binds together the spiritualand the physical, theory with reality. The crown rests onthe temples, the most sensitive part of the head. Spirituallythe woman rests on the temples as well. She is able to mas-sage where there is pain, while simultaneously ensuringthat the head does not inflate, for she serves as its borders.And yet she holds the head up high. Because she is queenshe allows him to be king.

I take off my earrings, bracelet and necklace. In anotherroom he empties his pockets, undoes his tie and unties hisshoelaces. He is not marrying me for my physical beautyor external jewels. I am not marrying him for the moneyin his pockets. He comes to me unbound, with no ties,with no connection to anyone or anything but to me andour commitment, to each other.

The music starts and my chatan, my groom, is about tobe led to me. He will cover my face with a veil, in order toshield the holiness, the Divine Presence, which rests onthe face of a bride. My veil will be opaque so that I cannotsee out and no one can see in. My eyes will anyway beclosed to more highly sensitize my ability to think and feel.We recognize that we are marrying what we see, but weare also marrying what we don't see I want the utmost pri-vacy at this moment and to not be distracted by the staresfrom our hundreds of guests.

By veiling me we make an important unspoken state-ment to one another. We recognize that we are marryingwhat we see, but we are also marrying what we don't see.With utmost belief we are sure that we are the otherhalves to our soul. Only together can we complete our-

selves and complete each other. Yet it will take work, hardwork. He is not the answer to my incompleteness butrather the means for me to get there. So we recognize thatwe love what we know and what we are aware of, but weare also marrying the parts that are hidden now from eachother, and even to ourselves. We are determined to lovethese parts as well and to learn to understand how theyare also an integral part of our healing and growth.

Finally, after the longest week of my life, my chatan, mygroom, approaches me. It is almost too intense to look. Iglance at my husband-to-be for a moment but then myeyes well up with tears. I can no longer see but I don'tneed to. We are about to be bound together. But we arenot just two people. Our marriage represents the conti-nuity of the Jewish people. We are not only about to bebound to each other, but in doing so, we bind togetherthe past, the present and the future.

We will now reunite again under the chuppah, the mar-riage canopy, to become husband and wife. The canopyis open on all sides to represent how our home and heartsshould be, welcoming and open to all around. We will beoutside, under the stars, to bring heaven down to earthwhile elevating ourselves closer to heaven.

Now it is I who is led to him, as he awaits me under thechuppah. As I approach, I encircle him seven times. Asthere are seven days of the week culminating in the holi-ness of the Sabbath, so too, I will surround him, envelop-ing him in love and commitment, culminating with mystanding by his side. Just as I am his crown which sits as acircle around his head, now I too create Our marriage rep-resents the continuity of the Jewish people that bond, thatfoundation, that security.

In a circle all sides are equally close to its center andthere exists perfect harmony. Once I have completed myseven circles, he returns to encircle me by placing an un-blemished and unmarked simple gold ring on my finger.This is our 8th circle, one above the natural, the days ofthe week, and uniting us with the supernatural, the OneAbove. Seven blessings are now recited, imbuing addi-tional holiness to our relationship and commitment. Butright before we turn to celebrate with each other, with ourguests, as husband and wife, we first must break a glass.

The last thing my new husband does under our weddingcanopy is that he steps on this glass. It is silent and we allhear it shatter. The shattered glass represents the sufferingthat must always be remembered, even in our joy. Eventhough we are imbued with happiness, we as a people, as


a world, are not in such a state. And therefore it is our re-sponsibility to remember that as we rejoice we need tocreate a world where all can rejoice. And we must live ourlives with a sensitivity to those less fortunate than our-selves and be grateful for all the good that has been be-stowed upon us.

After the glass is broken, it is now time for us to cele-brate our joy. I remove the veil, as my husband and I gazeat each other for the first time as a married couple. Themusic begins, our guests start singing and dancing, and weare led from the canopy to begin our new life together. •

By Sara Esther Crispe, a writer, inspirational speaker and mother of four, is the editor of TheJewishWoman.org.

Cheder Menachem Annual Auction

The Cheder Menachem Annual Auction drew over 300 people lastTuesday, June 1st, for a festive evening of prizes and entertainmentin support of the Lubavitch boys’ school.

Perfect weather enhanced this truly beautiful evening at the luxu-rious Gilmore Adobe Gardens, where the elegant setup featured alovely display of an assortment of prizes. The program itself was aterrific success—from Master of Ceremonies Simcha Levenberg’shumorous quips to the inspiring performance by the boys’ choir andthoughtful d’var Torah delivered by 4th grade student, Avi Baitel-man. Throughout, guests enjoyed a gourmet hot buffet and delec-table desserts. The event also included a screening of a short filmthat demonstrated the cheder’s achievements and the warmth andhumor exhibited by the yeshiva’s staff.

And of course, the prizes: Split the pot and jackpot were won, re-spectively, by Rivky Minkowitz and Levi Mishulovin; Rabbi Y.Schneerson took home roundtrip tickets for two to Israel; Boruch

and Roza Greenbaum won an iMac andthe Fabulous Freeda Wig went to HudyLipskier. Dozens of others won greatprizes that ranged from an iPad to a silverMenorah and from trips to Disneyland tojewelry.

For more information about ChederMenachem of Los Angeles please visittheir website at

www. ChederMenachem.comSend your organization’s press release to

[email protected]


Asold out program of 300 hundred men, women and childrenheaded up the picturesque Mountains of Running Springs, CA forYoung Chevra of Southern California’s 3rd annual Shabbaton.

Rabbi Yosef Yitzchok Jacobson enthralled participants throughout theweekend with many thought provoking lectures, workshops and farbrengens.It culminated in a fascinating Melave Malka address that had his audiencecaptivated until 1am on Motzei Shabbos.

There was a unique sense of achdus and friendship displayed among theyoung and rapidly growing Lubavitch communities of Southern California.This was clearly evident when the Chairman of Young Chevra’s Board,Jonathan Herzog did a roll call of participating communities at the MelaveMalka. Cheers erupted as the participants from: Agoura Hills, Long Beach,The Valley, North Hollywood, Lomita, Pico Robertson, La Brea, RedondoBeach and Beverly Hills were announced. At the Melave Malka, YoungChevra also acknowledged the tremendous efforts of Rabbi Yosef Brodand Yossi Burston who manage the campus at Running Springs. YoungChevra recruited Rabbi Mayer Greene to join the Shabbaton and host alive interactive Jewish version of “Who Wants to be a Millionaire?” RabbiJacobson participated as the final contestant in a program that ran until 2.30am!

The Young Chevra Shabbaton also featured Rabbi Mendel Duchman ofthe Kol Yakov Yeduda Jr Congregation. Rabbi Duchman gave the childrena chinuch filled weekend they will never forget, including his famous “Shi-mon Omer” contest. All the kids were enthusiastically trying to win the “allyou can eat at the restaurant of your choice” grand prize.

On Sunday the weekend finished off on a high, as families awoke to thefirst ever “Young Chevra County Fair” – a fun-filled day of family entertain-ment and activities followed by a Grand BBQ, with specialty sausagesshipped in from Jeff ’s Gourmet Sausage Factory.

Young Chevra was established two years ago with the vision and foresightof Rabbi Mendel Shwartz together with the tireless efforts of YitzyGeisinsky and others who shared a goal of promoting achdus between theyounger Lubavitch communities of Southern California.

The Board of Young Chevra has wide representation comprised of mem-bers from all the main local Chabad Shuls and regional communities. Earlierthis year the group raised and distributed close to $10,000 in Maos Chittimto assist young families in meeting the costly needs of Pesach. Two years agothey also launched a Gemach (free loan fund) for the Young Chevra com-munity which has proven to be very instrumental in helping out the YoungChevra of Southern California. •

Send your organization’s press release to [email protected]

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Rabbi YY Jacobson inspires young Lubavitch families from cities across the Southland


RESVERATROL AND AGINGScientists believe that resveratrol can help slow aging.

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ARCHITECTBABYSITTER AVAILABLE

Jewish Tehachapi TorahCenter(ed Community):Suited for families, individ-uals, and existing Torah or-g a n i z a t i o n s . H e a l t h y,Serene, Affordable, ChildFriendly. Relax, Recharge,Learn. Vacation or YearRound. Advise interest nowfor: Summer Camp, TorahRetreats, Regular Minyan..Join Rabbi Hershy's OpenYeshiva on the 13 Princi-ples of Faith Sundays11AM. 'Twice the House forHalf the Money' Pricedfrom: House - $130,000.Co-Op - $65,000. Lot -$30,000. Lease: House$800, Apartment $600,Room $400. Contact Roger M.: [email protected] 310-948-5137.

http://www.pearlmancta.com/TehachapiJewish.htm

SALES PERSON WANTED

Orthodox woman availableto watch your children fulltime or part-time hours, atyour location. Excellent ref-erences. 323-651-9389

POSITION WANTED

A young, organized, reli-able woman looking for ateaching position in ele-mentry schools. Has expe-rience working with kids.Knows to speak hebrewand english. 310-497-483

Beverly Hills Adjacent Home for Sale

5 Bedroom 3.5 Bath Lux-ury Home, Marble floors,Lrg Luxury GraniteKitchen, huge living/din-ing room w/vaulted ceil-ings, Wet Bar, 2 MasterS u i t e s ,Jacuzzi, Laun-dry, Sauna,b a s k e t b a l lcourt. Lots of Built-ins.

Call Daniel @(310) 925 - 9972

Excellent Opportunity forhighly motivated sales per-son to work for growingbusiness. Create your ownhours. Work from home.For further informationplease email us ati n f o @ c o m m u n i t ylinks.info Ref #1980

JOB OPPORTUNITY

June 25, 2010

July 2, 2010

Please call

323.965.1544or email us at

[email protected]

FOR RENT IN ISRAEL

FOR SALE

BOOKKEEPING

For all your bookkeeping needs

Raizy Grossman 310-279-2139

Bev/La Brea - 4bd, PoolGuest Apt. Kosher Kit.OPEN HSE 6/20 2-5pmw w w . L o v e - T h i s -Home.comFree Recorded Info:800-417-7489 ID#8001Miller Real Estate310.210.3038DRE Lic. #963418

FOR RENT

Master bedroom withprivate restroom &entrance. Femaleapplicants only. Con-tact Sarah @ 310-409-3327 or Rachel:

Lawrence Woodcraft, AIANew HomesAdditions & RemodelsGuest HousesHPOZ ApprovalsFree Initial Consultations818-701-7752License # C23651www.woodcraftarchitecture.com

ARCHITECT

Chabad Sola. Mon - Fri, at8.30AM. 1627 S LaCienega Blvd, oppositeCheder Menachem. If youare interested and couldcommit to be part of thisnew Minyan please con-tact R Menashe at 646 2586881 or at [email protected].

A SEROIUS DISTRIBU-TOR NEEDED FOR NEWOMEGA3, MADE FROMPLANT, GET REALHEALTH CHANGES; EX-CEMA, ACNE, BRAINFUNCTION AND MORE 347-622-0513

One bedroom for rent withprivate bathroom, separateentrance, laundry andkosher kitchen available.Utilities included. Month tomonth contract with monthsecurity. Referencesplease. Call David atHome: 323-934-4826. Cell:323-687-4154

Chabad of Beverlywood lo-cated at 1952 S RobertsonBlvd has space available forrent during the week. Primelocation suitable for a daycareor senior programs. The yardincludes modern child playequipment (climbing structure,slides) and swings. 7,500 sq.ft. play yard. 10,000 sq. ft. in-door space. (Rent all or part)[email protected]

Next Advertising Deadline

Circulation


Afshan Restaurant RCC

106 W. 9th St. LA,

(213) 622-1010

Bocca Steakhouse RCC

16610 Ventura. Encino, 91436

(818) 905-5855

Café Del Mar Meat Kehila

12526 Burbank Blvd. N.H. 91607

(818) 487-8171

Chic N Chow Kehila

9301 West Pico Blvd. LA, 90035

(310) 274-5595

Chinese and Kabob Kehila

9180 Pico Blvd. LA, 90035

(310) 274-4007

Circa RCC

433 N. Fairfax Avenue, LA, 90036

323-653-1941

Cohen’s Restaurant RCC

316 E Pico Blvd # F LA, CA 90015

(213) 742-8888

Delice Bistro Kehila

8581 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035

(310) 289-1702

Elat Burger Ben Zaken

9340 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035

(310) 278-4692

Elite Cuisine RCC

7119 Beverly Blvd. LA, 90036

(323) 930-1303

Falafel Express Bukstan

5577 Reseda Blvd. Tarzana, 9135

(818) 345-5660

Falafel Grill Chabad

5611 Kanan R. Agoura Hills, 91301

(818) 991-8799

Glatt Hut RCC

9303 W. Pico Blvd. 90035

(310) 246-1900

Golan RCC

13075 Victory Blvd. N. H, 91606

(818) 763-5344

Got Kosher? RCC

8914 W. Pico Blvd. 90035

(310) 858-1920

Habayit Bukstan

11921 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90064

(310) 479-5444

Haifa Ben Zaken

8717 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035

(310) 888-7700

Jeffs Gourmet Kehila

8930 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035

(310) 858-8590

Kosher Chicks RCC

186081/2Ventura Blvd. Tarzana, 91356

(818) 343-8800

La Gondola Kehila

9025 Wilshire Blvd. BH, 90211

(310) 247-1239

La Glatt RCC

446 Fairfax Ave. LA, 90036

(323) 658-7730

Mashu Mashu RCC

12510 Burbank Blvd. 91607

(818)752-ASIA (2742)

Metro Glatt RCC

8975 W. Pico Blvd. 90035

(310) 275-4420

Nagilla Meating Place Kehila


(310) 788-0119

Orange Delight Kehila

13628 Ventura Blvd. SO, 91423

(818) 788-9896

Pats Kehila

9233 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035

(310) 205-8705

Pico Kosher Deli RCC


(310) 273-9381

Pita Way RCC

8532 Pico Blvd. LA, 90035

(310) 652-5236

Sassis Kehila

15622 Ventura, Encino, 91436

(818) 986-5345

Shanghai Kehila

9401 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035

(310) 553-0998

Shilohs Kehila

8939 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035

(310) 858-1652

Subway Kehila

8948 W Pico Blvd. LA, 90035

(310) 274-1222

Sunrise RCC

9216 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035

(310) 786-8282

Temptation Grill Kehila

17547 Ventura B. Encino, 91316

(818) 995-4700

The Meating Place KCA

30313 Canwood St. AH, 91301

(818) 706-1255

Tierra Sur at Herzog Winery ou

3201 Camino DelSol Oxnard

(818) 752-6866

Smokin’ Rabbi Furst

12514 Burbank Boulevard, Valley

Village, CA 91607

(805) 983-1560

Beverly Cafe Elite RCC


(323) 931-3563

Bibis Warmstone Kehila

8928 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035

(310) 246-1788

Bramis Pizza RCC

17736 ShermanWay, Reseda 91326

(818) 342-0611

Café Del Mar Dairy Kehila

12526 Burbank Blvd. N.H. 91607

(818) 487-8171

Circa RCC

8622 W Pico Blvd, Los Angeles

(310) 854-0592

Delice Kehila

8583 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035

(310) 289-6556

Fish Grill Kehila


(323) 937-7162

12013 Wilshire Blvd. LA, 90025

(310) 479-1800

9618 W. Pico Blvd. 90035

(310) 860-1182

22935 Pacific Coast Highway

(310) 456-8585

Jerusalem Pizza Kehila

17942 Ventura Blvd. Encino, CA 91316

(818) 758-9595

La Brea Bagel Kehilla


(323) 965-1287

La Pizza Rabbi Furst

12515 Burbank Blvd. N.H, 91607

(818) 760-8198

Milk N Honey RCC

8837 West Pico Blvd LA, 90035

(310) 858-8850

Milky Way Kehila

9108 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035

(310) 859-0004

Nagilla Pizza Kehila


(310) 788-0111

Nana Cafe RCC

1509 S Robertson Blvd.

(310) 407-0404

Pico Cafe Kehila

8944 W Pico Blvd. LA, 90035

310-385-9592

Pizza Maven Kehila

140 North La Brea Blvd. 90036

(323) 857-0353

Pizza Nosh Rabbi Ami Markel

30313 Canwood St. A.H. 91301

(818) 991-3000

Pizza Station Kehila

8965 W. Pico Blvd. LA, 90035

(310) 276-8708

Pizza World Kehila

365 Fairfax Ave. LA, 90036

(323) 653-2896

Sassis Sushi Kehila

16550 Ventura, Encino, 91436

(818) 783-2727

Shalom Pizza RCC


(310) 271-2255

Unique Cafe Rabbi Aron Simkin

18381 Ventura Blvd. Tarzana

(818) 757-3100

Fish In The Village RCC

12450 Burbank Blvd. N.H, 91607

(818) 769-0085

Le Sushi

12524 Burbank Blvd N.H. 91607

(818) 763-6600

SushiKo RCC


(310) 274-3474

DINING GUIDE

MEAT

DAIRY

PAREVE

Dining Guide Listing Please Call 323-965-1544

community links issue 157

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