• Essential to any successful relationship–God communicates to us through His Son,

Heb 1:1-2; Acts 20:32– Children of God communicate with their

heavenly Father in prayer, Matt 6:9– Parents and children must communicate, Eph

6:4– Husbands and wives must communicate to

strengthen their marriages, Eph 5:332

3

Begin taking each other for granted–Love does not assume or take for

granted; it cherishes and delights in the one it loves, cf. SS 2:3; 3:1-4–World says “familiarity breeds

contempt”–God says get familiar and stay that

way! Gen 2:21-23 (18)4

They want to avoid a confrontation–Past conflict can prevent present

communication, Prov 21:9, 19–We convince ourselves of failure before

we really try…• Negative: “It won’t do any good anyway!”• Speaking with grace (seasoned with salt) is good, Col 4:6

5

• Break the cycle of conflict, silence and avoidance– Soft answer, Prov 15:1-2– Stop and start, Prov 20:3;

Matt 5:23-24– Commit to listening, Jas 1:19– Remove anger, Prov 15:18

(29:22)– Always think the best, 1 Cor

13:56

ConflicConflictt

SilenceSilence

AvoidAvoid

TOPIC

They are obsessed with their own interests, 1 Cor 13:5–Sin of selfishness (no self-control),

2 Tim 3:3; Gal 5:23; Phil 2:4• How we spend our time and money, and where we put our interest equates to what we value and where we put our devotion• Careful of priorities, Lk 12:15; Matt 16:26 7

They are obsessed with their own interests, 1 Cor 13:5–Husband whose first concern is his

own satisfaction is not following Christ, Eph 5:25 (1 Tim 5:8)–Wife whose first concern is her own

pleasure is not following Christ, Eph 5:22, 24 (Prov 31:27)

8

They are obsessed with their own interests, 1 Cor 13:5–SOLUTION: A concerted effort to be

interested in what interests your spouse, Eccl 4:9-12• You may (probably do) have different

interests…but still do things together!• Nurture your common faith, common

love, common hopes, common devotion9

They think they are being manipulated by the other, Eph 5:33• Why does a husband feel manipulated?• Maybe because he is! Silenced by

a domineering wife, 1 Pet 3:3-6• Maybe he is not leading firmly,

decisively and consistently, 1 Pet 3:6

10

They think they are being manipulated by the other, Eph 5:33• Why does a wife feel manipulated?• Maybe because she is by a husband who

only shows interest in her when he wants something for himself! 1 Pet 3:7• Leads to resentment, mistrust and animosity• Communication is sharing – not controlling,

Rom 12:1011

They think they are too busy, Eph 5:16•Communication requires a time commitment• “No time” can become excuse for closed

hearts• We take time to play, watch TV, video game,

ride a bike, read a book, computer, etc.• Must make time to attend to our marriages• Don’t be a Martha! Lk 10:38-42

12

They don’t want to hurt the other person, Prov 27:5-6, 17; 28:23•Do you want to help your spouse?•Are you willing to accept help from your spouse – even when it exposes your shortcoming (or even sin)?•Humble hearts are required to give and to receive rebuke, correction, etc. Rom 12:16

13

They don’t want to hurt the other person, Prov 27:5-6, 17; 28:23•SOLUTION: We must help each other know that we always have their best interest at heart, Eph 5:26-27•GOAL: Strengthen each other and help one another serve Jesus Christ and go to heaven!

14

Marriage without communication is like a car without fuel… Won’t go far …sputter and die!Rom 12:9-13, 16: Build Marriage…

Sincerity and goodness (9) Kind affection and honoring preference (10) Diligent service (11) Joyful hope, patient steadfastness & prayer

(12) Sympathetic giving and unity of mind (13, 16)

15