"communicate powerfully - get what you want (without turning people off)" - michelle...
TRANSCRIPT
CommunicatePOWERFULLY5 Ways To Get What You Want (Without Turning
People Off)
Why?
less pay, lower positions, fewer promotions
Fact:
Only 15 Fortune 500 companies (3.0%) and 28 Fortune 1000 companies (2.8%)
are run by women. Only 20% of top management positions in the U.S.
are held by women.– CNNmoney.com, May 2009
Fact:
“Companies with the most women in
senior management positions had a 35%
higher return on equity and a 34% higher return to shareholders.”– Catalyst Study
FACT:
the “feminization”of leadership
in fact....
“Women who adopt a masculine, ‘alpha-
female’ approach in the office earn more [and
get promoted more] than than their more passive
female colleagues.”– Businessweek, July 2010
Fact:
Women are much less likely than men to negotiate to promote their own ambitions or desires. Men use negotiation to get ahead and get what they want between two and nine times as often as women do. – Businessweek, July 2010
Fact:
Fact:The double standard
is alive and well. “Plenty of studies have shown that...
we don't accept the same behavior from
women that we accept from men.”
Hannah Riley Bowles, co-author Claiming Authority:
Negotiating Challenges for Women Leaders
Psychology of Leadership: Some New Approaches
5 Tips
learn to negotiate(like a woman)
#1.
“The Entitlement Effect”“If you bring men and women into the lab and you
say either one of two things: ‘Work until you think you've earned the $10 we just gave you,’ or ‘Work and then tell us how much you think you deserve,’ the women work longer
hours with fewer errors for comparable pay, and pay themselves less for comparable work. But if there's a
standard [that men and women know], then this result goes away.
Hannah Riley Bowles, co-author Claiming Authority: Negotiating Challenges for Women LeadersPsychology of Leadership: Some New Approaches
What’s In It For Me?
Everything is negotiable
Women tend to have an easier time advocating for others instead of themselves, so...
what’s at stake?
what’s your market value?
internal
know
“This is what I feel this
service is worth” or “this is what I would
like to make”
“This is the market rate for
this type of service”
external
internal
know
“This is what I feel this
service is worth” or “this is what I would
like to make”
“This is the market rate for
this type of service”
external
You’ll get more out of a COOPERATIVE tone than a
COMPETITIVE one. Tip: Emphasize the importance of the
“business relationship” - when women do this, they are less likely
to be perceived as aggressive!
Author & Harvard lecturer Matt Smith, Tavius Consulting Group
Practice saying no 100 times in 100 different
ways
watch your language#2.
do you ask for permission to
speak up?Can I ask a question?
I just want to add one thing
Would you mind if I said something?
I have an idea I’d like to share, if you don’t mind
May I add something?
onlyjust
you knowreally
in my opinionsort ofkind of
apparentlyI’m not an expert, but
I may not be qualified, butbut
maybeI guess
While you’re at it, lose the
“hedging” language too.
Learn to say “shut up” (politely)
*Phyllis Mindel, PhDHow To Say It For Women
Oops, just a moment, I’m not quite finished...Please allow me to finish this thought
Please hold any comments until I’m donePlease hold your questions until the end
Just a moment...I’d like to hear what you think, but first let
me just finish this train of thought
“I”blames you for issues
that aren’t yourschildish
takes focus off the facts
not effective leadership (it’s not about you)
often leads to “psychobabble”
(i.e., “feel,” “think,”
“believe”)
* How To Say It For WomenPhyllis Mindell, Ed.D.
“psychobabble”rambling & nervous chatter
“blah, blah, blah...” “Be in the moment... “present...” “The Secret...” “The Law of Attraction”
and... and... and...“I’m suuuuch an Aquarius (giggle)”
“I feeeeel...”
develop a strong brand & get comfortable
promoting it
#3.
Like it or not, we all have a personal brand. Purposeful or accidental, decided by you, or
decided by the people around you...
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Copyright 2007- 2009 Mivista, Inc. www.MivistaInc.com (888) 531-3830
•talk show host?•home & entertaining expert?•dog trainer?•child-care expert?•martyr?•satanic rocker? •dirty politician?
in-demand = high market value
How do you respond to compliments?
“Unwritten Rules: What You Don’t Know Can Hurt Your Career” © 2008 by CATALYST
develop a strong brand & get comfortable
promoting it
#4.Look the part
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The classic “head tilt” and the coy stare say “I don’t know,” “I’m a little girl” or
“I’m sexy” – not good if you’re an ambitious, professional woman.
Here are some alternatives that work.
2
And one that doesn’t.
1
Find the happy medium...#5.
the nice girl
the strong woman
•always needs to win•doesn’t listen•doesn’t trust•loud•talks very fast
•never needs to win•only listens•too trusting•quiet•talks very slowly
“....both Clinton and Palin came to represent – and, at times, reinforce – two of the most pernicious stereotypes that are applied to women: the bitch and the ditz…. Women regularly find themselves divided into dualities that are the modern equivalent of the Madonna-whore complex: the hard-ass or the lightweight, the battle-ax or the bubblehead, the serious, pursed-lipped shrew or the silly, ineffectual girl.”
The Bitch & The Ditz:
How the “Year of the
Woman” Actually Set
Women Back
– Amanda Fortini, New York Magazine
Happy medium can sometimes get confused with “Passive Agressive”
“Thanks for doing such a great job. Really, thanks.
“It’s not like you do anything anyways.”
“Whatever you say.”
“Everything is great. Just perfect.”
•be solution-oriented•address sarcasm straight-up “was
that meant to be sarcastic?”•ask for alternate behavior •use active listening to uncover the
real issue (ask!)•talk about that (honestly)
Copyright Michelle Villalobos, Mivista Consulting, Inc. 2009. All Rights Reserved. To Reprint, Distribute or Repurpose, visit www.MivistaConsulting.com and click “Contact Us”.
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