chapter 2 skills for career success - succeeding in …38 chapter 2 skills for career success to...

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Sections2-1 Qualities of Successful

Employees2-2 The Communication Process2-3 Communication in

Relationships2-4 Confl ict Resolution

• Why are interpersonal skills important for career success?

• Which is more important to good communication—speaking or listening? What is the difference between hearing and listening?

Reading Prep

Wh

RRRRRRR

Use a T-chart to illustrate the characteristics of verbal communication

and nonverbal communication.

Print out the concept organizer at the website.

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Concept OrganizerCOO

33

Section 2-1

ObjectivesAfter studying this section, you will be able to • identify the qualities and skills needed for job success.• determine the effects of technology on the workplace.

Key Terms

Qualities of Successful Employees

work ethic telecommuting

What qualities are needed for job success? The same personal qualities that help you get a job can also help you keep it. Most employers look for certain qualities when they hire employees. They want employees who have skills to get the job done and work well with others. Most successful employees share many of these same qualities. As you read this section, think about the personal qualities you have now. Developing these qualities will increase your chances of being a successful employee, too.

Personal Qualities for Job SuccessSeveral qualities are key factors in job success. Having a positive

attitude, being dependable, being honest, and getting along well with others will contribute to your becoming a successful employee.

Positive AttitudeYour attitude plays a big role in your success on the job, 2-1. It shows

how you think and feel about other people and situations. A positive attitude will help you learn your job duties, work with others, and get ahead in your career.

If you have a positive attitude, you always try to do the best job possible. You accept your fair share of the responsibility without complaining. You accept criticism as a means of improving your job performance. You are willing to try new tasks. If you enjoy your work, you are more likely to do a better job. This makes you a more valuable employee.

A positive attitude helps you get along with others, too. People enjoy working with someone who is friendly and cheerful most of the time.

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34 Chapter 2 Skills for Career Success

Being courteous and showing respect for others are positive qualities to have.

DependabilityIf you are dependable, your

employer can count on you to be reliable and responsible. You get your work done and do not expect others to do it for you. You have a good attendance record and start work on time every day.

HonestyAnother personal quality of a good

employee is being honest. Employers want employees they can trust. That means telling the truth, keeping any promises you make, and dealing with

people fairly. Being honest also means putting forth your best effort on the job. You do the job you are assigned and do not waste time. Employers expect you to give an honest day’s work for an honest day’s pay.

EthicsA work ethic is a standard of conduct for successful job

performance. Your concepts of fairness, right and wrong, and good and bad affect your work ethic. A strong work ethic will help you achieve personal satisfaction. Successful employees work not only for the company but also for personal satisfaction. Chances are that your boss will not compliment you daily for your work. Consequently, you need to develop personal feelings of satisfaction from the work you do. You need to set high standards for your work and take pride in meeting them. In turn, personal satisfaction will make your work seem more important and more enjoyable.

CooperationAn ability to work well with all people is important for job success.

This means you can work with people of all ages, of both genders, and of different backgrounds. You show respect and courtesy to your boss, coworkers, and customers.

Part of getting along with others is working as a team member. To show others you want to be cooperative, you accept your share of the work. You make an effort to contribute to the group’s goal. Each group member should feel free to make worthwhile contributions. Combining the special traits and skills of each person allows the group to achieve the best results.

21stCenturySkills

Ethics. Elena is careful to never spread rumors. She believes that loyalty to her employer is important, thus she avoids destructive comments.

2-1People who have positive attitudes are willing to tackle any job task.

Section 2-1 Qualities of Successful Employees 35

Good working relationships are based on respect for others’ feelings. Follow directions carefully. Ask questions when you do not understand how to do a task. Do not expect your coworkers to do your work for you. On the other hand, never assume that you can get along without your coworkers. If you willingly cooperate with them, they will cooperate with you. Being friendly, respectful, and enthusiastic will help you become part of a team.

Good AppearanceWhether fair or not, others judge you by your appearance, either

consciously or subconsciously. What you wear to work refl ects how you feel about your work. Try to look your best every day because neatness shows respect for yourself and others.

Most employers enforce dress codes that list clothing styles and items inappropriate for the workplace. They know the importance of clothing to maintaining a businesslike atmosphere. Customers, too, expect business people to dress appropriately. They do not want to be served by workers who appear sloppy or dressed for some other occasion. Customers often take their business elsewhere if a company does not maintain businesslike surroundings.

Becoming a ProfessionalWhen you display all the positive qualities discussed, you are on

the road to becoming a professional. A professional is an employee who keeps a courteous, conscientious, and businesslike manner. When companies hire new employees, they look for people who fi t this description. They want to maintain a good public image and seek employees who share their concern.

Becoming a professional is not a goal reserved for certain careers. Any employee can be a professional, no matter what his or her job is. A professional is easy to spot, 2-2. It is the person who demonstrates the following qualities:• smiles and greets everyone pleasantly

• remembers and uses correct names and titles

• treats everyone with respect

• keeps a calm disposition

• avoids talking negatively about coworkers and customers

• wears appropriate clothing from head to toe

• chooses a becoming and conservative hairstyle

• avoids excessive use of perfume and cologne

• limits jewelry and makeup

• practices good hygiene

• uses proper etiquette



Professionals uphold the standards of the company and set positive goals for themselves. They avoid doing anything that disrupts the work environment. They focus on doing their jobs well and helping the company succeed.

Technology in the WorkplaceAdvances in technology have changed many aspects of life.

Computer technology is used in every industry and in most classrooms and homes to make time-consuming and demanding tasks easier. As technology continues to change our world, people must adjust to new roles and responsibilities.

All jobs are affected by innovative technology. In factories, computerized robots perform the most dangerous and monotonous jobs effi ciently. Sales teams receive records of purchases as soon as they are made anywhere in the company and can readily determine future inventory needs. In the workplace, people can use e-mail and video conferencing to stay in touch with coworkers and clients. See 2-3. People can also use these devices to work out of their homes. This is called telecommuting.

With every technological device comes a need for specialists who can operate and service it. In some businesses, new job positions are created to fulfi ll these needs. In other cases, job roles are expanded to

Living GreenIf you work with computers, set computers to energy-saving settings and shut them down when you are fi nished working. “Standby” settings will continue to draw power even when not in use. The U.S. Department of Energy recommends turning off a computer if it will not be used for 2 hours.

2-2A well-groomed appearance and a pleasant smile are two clues that this person is a professional.

Section 2-1 Qualities of Successful Employees 37

include new duties. Job expansion also creates a need for more education. People must have the knowledge and training necessary to operate new equipment.

There is great demand for people who excel in the use of today’s technologies. Competition among employers for these skills increases the salary employees can command. The salary for a position will also increase as the education and duty requirements for the position increase.

Instead of being apprehensive about learning how to use new tools in their jobs, employees are advised to expect and welcome change. The latest innovations in technology soon become obsolete. Future changes may occur even more rapidly. Technological progress is occurring at an accelerating rate. Any new technology will probably lead to other new technologies. Workers must stay fl exible enough to adopt new procedures and work methods.

As devices are developed to perform tasks more accurately, some jobs are eliminated. Thus, people can no longer prepare for one career or know what new technologies will affect their jobs in the future. Lifetime learning is essential for those who plan to hold wage-earning jobs during all of their productive years.

Occasionally technological changes bring some negative results. Physical ailments such as carpal tunnel syndrome increase with the growth of technology. Repetitive body motions can cause this work hazard over extended periods. Also, telecommuters who have limited opportunities for personal interaction sometimes feel isolation and loneliness.

Technology impacts every aspect of the workplace. It promotes greater speed, effi ciency, and accuracy. However, competence with technology is just one of fi ve skills that effective workers are expected to have. Employees with workplace know-how also need competence with resources, interpersonal skills, information, and systems.

ReadingReview

1. List three qualities needed for job success. State some examples of each quality.

2. Why is a work ethic important to job success? 3. Using technological devices to work from home is known as _____ .

RRR11 Li t th

2-3A webcam, microphone, and Internet connection allows people to work together even though separated by long distances.



To develop good relationships with other people, you have to be able to communicate. Communication is the process of conveying information in such a way that the message is received and understood. Through communication, you can share ideas, opinions, and facts with others. In close relationships, you can also discuss and share your problems and feelings. See 2-4.

Good communication is a skill you will use throughout your life. It is based on a mutual effort between people to understand one another. Speakers must try to make their messages relevant to the listeners. At the same time, listeners must open their minds to the messages being sent.

All forms of communication—speaking, listening, reading, writing, and body language—can be grouped into two different categories. The fi rst is verbal communication, which involves the use of words. Nonverbal communication is the second category; this involves sending messages without words. In this section, you will learn more about these two forms of communication.

Section 2-2The Communication ProcessObjectivesAfter studying this section, you will be able to• improve your listening and speaking skills.• begin and develop conversations more easily.• use several forms of nonverbal communication to communicate

more effectively.• describe the use of several types of electronic communication.

Key Terms

communicationverbal

communicationnonverbal

communication

active listenerfeedbackpassive listenerrapportrefl ection

mannersbody languagepersonal spacetechnologyInternet


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Section 2-2 The Communication Process 39

Verbal Communication

Communication skills are just like word processing skills or baseball skills. You can learn them, practice them, and improve them. The fi rst steps in improving your verbal communication skills are learning to listen and to speak well.

ListeningListening plays an important role

in communication. A spoken message is worthless unless someone hears it and listens to it. Hearing and listening, however, have two different meanings. You hear many sounds all day long. Radios, kitchen appliances, cars, and airplanes are just a few examples. If you really listened to all these sounds, you would not have time to think about anything else. Instead, you have developed the habit of ignoring unimportant sounds. This is usually a good and helpful habit. If you are not careful, however, you may fi nd yourself slipping into this habit more often than you should. You may be ignoring spoken messages that people are trying to send to you.

Barriers to Good ListeningRecognizing what gets in the way of good listening can help you

learn to overcome these barriers. The habit of ignoring sounds is just one barrier to good listening. Forgetting all or part of the message is a common communication barrier. Even if you listen to what is being said, there is a chance for a communication failure. Studies show that people remember as little as 25 percent of the information they receive through listening. People remember more when they see, read, or verbally repeat the message they hear. Listening by itself does not always ensure good communication.

Another barrier to good listening is not understanding the message being sent. The message a person sends to you may not be the same message you receive. The speaker may pronounce words differently if he or she is from a different part of the country. The speaker may use slang expressions or words that are unfamiliar to you. You may think the speaker is joking when he or she is serious. Even the tone of voice can change the meaning of what is said. These are just a few of the factors that can interfere with good listening.

2-4How much time do you spend every day communicating with family, friends, classmates, and teachers?



Become an Active ListenerListening is important to good

communication because you listen more often than you speak. With practice, you can develop good listening skills.

A good listener is an active listener. This means the listener gives the speaker some form of feedback. Feedback lets the speaker know the message is getting through to the listener and how it is being received. The feedback can be a nod, a smile, or even a comment that lets the speaker know the message is received.

A passive listener may hear the spoken words, but not the meaning of the words. A passive listener does not respond to the speaker in any way. The speaker does not know if the message is being received or not. Have you ever spoken to someone who did not seem to really be listening to you?

SpeakingSpeaking is the most widely used form of verbal communication.

Speaking and listening are equally important in the two-way communication process.

You spend much of your day speaking with others. The way you speak affects your life in many ways. It affects your relationships with your family members and your friends. It affects your daily interactions with teachers, classmates, coworkers, and employers. Speaking clearly will help you express your thoughts, feelings, and ideas to others.

Have you noticed that some people have better speaking skills than others? You could listen to them for hours and not lose interest. With practice, you too can develop your speaking skills.

Developing Speaking SkillsHow good are your speaking skills? Do you send clear messages

when you speak to others? Do others interpret your messages correctly? The way you speak affects the impressions people form of you. If your skills need improvement, try using some of these techniques:• Keep the listener in mind. Use words the listener will understand.

Life SkillsActive Listening Tips

• Ask questions to clarify the message.This shows you are not only hearing what the

speaker is saying, but also processing it.• Pay attention. Use eye contact. Avoid daydreaming or

letting your mind wander to other topics.• Be interested. You will listen better if you have a sincere

desire to know what the other person is saying and feeling.• Be patient. Do not interrupt and take over the speaking role.• Keep the speaker in mind. Expect the information to

come from the speaker’s background of experiences or point of view. Put aside your previous thoughts and biases.

• Stay focused. Some people are too busy thinking about what they will say in response to a speaker. As a result, they fail to listen to what is said.

• Use refl ection. Repeat in your own words what you think was said. The receiver might say, “If I understand you correctly, you are saying…”.

• Listen to the speaker’s tone of voice. Sometimes the way something is said is just as important as what is said.

• This

SpeechwriterCan you think of other careersrelated to the chapter?

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• Keep messages short and simple. Leave no room for confusion and you are more likely to be understood.

• Be considerate of others’ feelings. Think before you speak. Avoid making comments that may hurt someone. If criticism is needed, try to make it constructive.

• Be open and honest. Do not expect people to read your mind.

• Respect the listener. Good rapport between a speaker and a listener aids good communication. Rapport is a relationship built on respect and sincerity.

• Be positive. People enjoy listening to someone who has a positive outlook on life.

• Check to see whether your message is being received accurately. Questions such as “What do you think?” or “How do you feel about this?” will draw your listener into a speaking role. He or she will then use refl ection to give you feedback. Refl ection is when the listener repeats what he or she thinks the speaker said.

Nonverbal CommunicationPeople communicate in many ways other than the spoken or written

word. Communication that does not involve words is called nonverbal communication. The way a person looks, dresses, acts, and reacts are forms of nonverbal expression.

Your AppearanceDoes your appearance send the message you want it to send?

When people meet you, what is their fi rst impression? People form their impressions of you based on the way you look. Often these judgments are made quickly. Before you say anything, your appearance is sending a message to them. Are you communicating a positive message about yourself?

Good grooming is one way to send a positive message. It shows you care about yourself and the way you look. Neat, clean clothes that fi t well help create a positive image.

Life SkillsHow to Start a Conversation

• Ask questions that require more than a yes or no answer. Examples are,

“What do you think about…?” “How do you feel about…?” Or, ask about the person’s work, hobbies, or family.

• Make a sincere compliment. When people are complimented, they are likely to relax and begin talking.

• Mention something you have in common with the other person. Discussions of current events, movies, books, and sports events can keep a conversation going.

• Discuss one topic. Explore just one key point of common interest. A constant change of subjects may drive the other person away.

• than



Your ActionsThe actions you take can send messages to others. For instance, manners

are rules to follow for proper conduct. Using good manners sends the message that you want others to feel comfortable. In most cases, having good manners is as simple as being kind to others and using common sense.• Other actions will send the message that you care about people’s

feelings. Using the words please, thank you, and excuse me shows courtesy and respect to others. Sending a note of thanks, a card, or a text message to cheer someone up refl ects thoughtfulness. Giving a gift on a special occasion tells people you are considerate. Using a pleasant tone of voice lets others know you want them to feel at ease.

Body LanguageWhen you nod your head, shake your fi st, or point your fi nger, you

are communicating without words. With body language, you are using body movements, such as facial expressions, gestures, and posture, to send messages to others.

Although you are not using words, your messages can be crystal clear. The expression on your face can convey your mood before you even begin to talk. Direct eye contact with someone can convey honesty and straightforwardness. With a smile and a shake of your head, you can let someone know that you agree. With a wink, you can say “I like you.” Some people use hand gestures to make their spoken messages clearer.

Personal SpaceYour personal space is the area around you. When others enter this

space, your reaction is a form of nonverbal communication. The way you allow people to use your personal space depends on the way you feel about these people. You may enjoy the closeness of a hug from a special person, or a whisper in your ear from another. A quick handshake may be as close as you wish to be with others. When a person enters your personal

space you feel either comfortable or uncomfortable. Your behaviors reveal the way you feel.

Most Americans like to stay about an arm’s length from each other when they speak. This is not the case in other cultures. People from some cultures like to stand closer when they speak. This closeness makes some Americans feel uncomfortable. An awareness of this cultural difference can help you avoid any misinterpretation of another’s actions.

Life SkillsBody Language Around the WorldSome communications are infl uenced by

cultural diversity, so being aware of cultural differences is important. For example, in some cultures people are taught to never make eye contact with someone in authority. A friendly hug may also be off-limits. In large U.S. cities, people avoid making eye contact with anyone on the streets. While some specifi c body language does vary, a person from any culture is likely to understand gestures meaning yes, no, come, stop, up, down, and thank you.


Technology and Communication

Technology, the use of scientifi c knowledge for practical purposes, has led to many new ways for people to communicate with each other. No longer do you have to wait a week or more to receive a written response for a letter you sent. You can send a message around the world in an instant. It is possible to receive a reply equally fast. Though most people see many benefi ts to these methods of communication, others see some drawbacks. See 2-5 for some points to keep in mind when using technology to communicate.

Cellular PhonesCellular telephones provide two-way communication without the

direct wire connections. Cell phones send signals to towers and switching centers that relay the messages to their destinations.

Cell phones allow communication from wherever you are, which is particularly benefi cial in emergency situations. Cell phones are also being paired with global positioning devices to provide emergency assistance and information to travelers.

The use of cell phones can be disturbing to other people if used in public places. Though popular with students, many schools ban their use. If you use a cell phone, have consideration for the people around you when at school or in a public place. Phones should be turned off when ringing will disturb others. Conversations on cell phones should not take place where other people can hear them. Also, it is inconsiderate to send text messages while carrying on a face-to-face conversation with another person.

Voice MailVoice mail allows callers to leave

a recorded message for the recipient to listen to later. When leaving a voice mail message, there are certain courtesies you should follow.• Speak clearly and distinctly.

Electronic Communications Etiquette

• When using e-mail, grammar, spelling, and punctuation must be accurate, as in any written form of communication.

• Avoid using emoticons, such as :-) for a smile, in business communications. Use them in personal e-mail only.

• Don’t use e-mail or text messaging to deliver sensitive information. A face-to-face or telephone conversation is better to prevent misunderstandings.

• Don’t post personal information about others on social networking sites.

2-5If you use electronic communication devices, follow these guidelines.

Financial LiteracyEvaluating Cell Phone Plans

Cell phones and monthly rate plans can be purchased from a wireless service

provider. Compare the costs and features of several different plans before making a selection. Be sure you understand your plan—if you use more minutes than are included, the costs can be high.

Pay-as-you-go phones are purchased with a certain number of minutes. When the minutes are used up, you can buy more minutes. This option can be more cost-effective than monthly rate plans for people who do not use their cell phones often.

can



• Give your name and telephone number.

• Keep your message brief (30 seconds is ideal), but explain the reason for your call.

• Minimize the need for a call back if possible. For instance, if a meeting date has changed, give the date for the postponed meeting.

• Give the date and time.

• Let the person know the best time to reach you.

ComputersThe Internet is an international network of computers that are

linked to share information. It is available to anyone who has a computer or Internet-capable device and a means of connection.

The Internet allows instant communication to anywhere in the world through e-mail. E-mail is an important method of communication in the workplace. It often replaces in-house offi ce memos or written correspondence to customers or clients.

Video conferencing uses a webcam to transmit video and sound over the Internet. Extended family members who live distances apart have found video conferencing to be an excellent way to stay in touch. Workplaces use video conferencing to conduct meetings and communicate with distance employees.

Though access to the Internet can lead you to vast amounts of information, there are some precautions. The Internet is not owned or controlled by any one organization. Anyone can place any type of information on the Internet, whether accurate or not. Therefore, if you are using it for research, you should focus on using reliable sources. Check the accuracy of information provided by unfamiliar sources. The government currently does not regulate the Internet, and little information is censored. Children can accidentally wander into sites that are meant for adults only.

ReadingReview

1. Name two barriers to good listening skills. 2. True or false. People are more likely to remember a message they

hear if they do not repeat it verbally. 3. Briefl y describe fi ve techniques for improving speaking skills. 4. List four suggestions for starting a conversation. 5. Explain how nonverbal communication is related to your appearance. 6. List three electronic means of communication. Give an example of

how each can be used to benefi t communication.

RRR11 N t

Analyze and

Solve

With a team of classmates, discuss the following ques-tions. What are the advan-tages and disadvantages of text messaging? In what situations can text messaging be disruptive? In what ways does text messaging enhance or hinder communication?

Living GreenMany electronics contain hazardous material that can harm the environment if it enters the waste stream. When purchasing new electronic communication devices, make sure you recycle your old products. The Environmental Protection Agency provides information on recycling electronics at www.epa.gov.

Section 2-3 Communication in Relationships 45

People often speak of open communication. This means a free fl ow of ideas, opinions, and facts among the people involved. They may not agree on everything, but they respect one another’s point of view. They can have intelligent discussions about views that differ from their own. All ideas are treated with interest, curiosity, and respect.

Clearly communicating your thoughts and feelings is part of open communication. In this section, you will learn more about skills you can use to develop open communication in your relationships. These include communicating positive feelings, overcoming barriers, and handling negative feelings.

Th e Importance of Communication in Relationships

Open communication has many benefi ts, especially in personal relationships. It allows people to learn more about themselves and other people. It helps people express their feelings to their friends and family. Using it helps strengthen relationships. Overall, it can lead to richer, more satisfying relationships.

Section 2-3Communication in Relationships

open communication

stereotypes

prejudicesmixed messages

role expectationsdiverse

ObjectivesAfter studying this section, you will be able to• state the importance of open communication in relationships.• list ways to communicate positive feelings.• describe barriers to communication.• suggest methods for handling negative feelings.

• give tips for communicating in the workplace.

Key Terms


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Communicating Positive Feelings

Each person is responsible for his or her own happiness. Do you want to be happy? If so, you must work toward that goal. Thinking positively about most situations in life will help you be happy. Your positive attitude encourages open communication.

Good feelings are contagious. If you are a positive person and communicate this to others, they will feel happier, too. See 2-6.

Barriers to Open Communication

Communicating with others is not always easy. Many barriers stand in the way of open communication. A few of the barriers are physical in nature, such as speech and hearing disabilities. However, most barriers to open communication are social or psychological. Understanding these differences can help you avoid them. Some of the most common ones are described on the following pages.

StereotypesOne barrier to open communication is stereotyping. A person who

stereotypes others has a set belief that all members of a group will behave in the same ways. Stereotypes put labels on groups of people. These labels may be based on a group’s age, sex, race, or religion. For

instance, some people may believe that all young men should participate in sports or all older people are forgetful.

Because every person is different, neither of the above statements can be true for all people within these groups. If you pay attention to stereotypes like these instead of accepting individual differences, you may misinterpret messages. To be a good listener, you must have an open mind. You must ignore stereotypes and give people the chance to communicate as individuals.

Healthy LivingA Positive Outlook

Use the following tips to communicate positive feelings:

• Whenever you meet someone, be the fi rst one to say hello.

• Offer praise and compliments when they are deserved.• Defend people who are the object of harmful gossip.• Smile and look happy. Show your positive personality

traits.• Look others in the eye when you talk to them and speak

clearly.• Show concern for others by asking them about matters

that are important to them.

2-6People who communicate their positive feelings enrich the lives of others.


PrejudicesAnother barrier to open communication results from prejudices.

Prejudices are opinions that people form without complete knowledge. They are usually based on a lack of facts and a lack of understanding. People with prejudices do not accept that others’ beliefs can be different from theirs. Prejudices might include negative attitudes toward religions, races, cultures, nationalities, socio-economic groups, cities, geographic regions, or foods.

Many prejudices lead to negative behaviors such as name-calling. Prejudiced people may choose to avoid certain groups or individuals. They usually do not seek understanding or new meanings. They have already made up their minds. It is as if they are saying “I already know about that” or “I already know about your kind.” These actions set up barriers and prevent good communication from taking place.

Here is an example of a man who had a prejudice toward certain foods. When the man took his date out to dinner, she ordered roast lamb. She soon realized he was embarrassed to be seen with a date who ate lamb. He did not eat meat and thought of it as unwholesome. He also felt prejudice toward her because she ate a food that he did not consider acceptable. Because of his prejudice, the couple never dated again. Such a prejudice toward people and objects—in this case food—hampers good communication.

Some prejudices come in the form of love. For example, parents are naturally proud of their children. They may think their son or daughter is the best looking, most talented, and most personable individual. This may be true, but such an attitude is usually padded with a little pride and prejudice. Loving people is important. However, maintaining an ability to be rational about all people and objects is important, too.

Mixed MessagesWhen a person’s behavior contradicts their words or actions, they

are using mixed messages. Listeners are forced to make assumptions as they receive the speakers’ messages.

For example, a person may say he or she is telling you the truth, but avoids making eye contact or seems uncomfortable. Another example is the statement “Give me your honest opinion.” Some people may really want your opinion. Others say this when they really mean “Tell me I am right. Support me in what I have done.” You must decode the message according to the situation. Your clues may be the person’s tone of voice, facial expression, or body language. See 2-7.

21stCenturySkills

Cross-cultural skills.Helen respects the cultural differences among her coworkers. She tries to explore and understand some of their traditions and customs.

2-7Observing a person’s body language is helpful in deciphering mixed messages.



Gender DifferencesSometimes, differences between males and females create some

barriers to communication. These barriers may be related to role expectations. Role expectations are patterns of socially expected behavior. In other words, people learn to behave the way they think society expects them to behave. They also expect certain role behaviors from others.

Certain roles are associated with being male or female. For males, some of these roles include brother, son, boyfriend, husband, and father. Female roles include sister, daughter, girlfriend, wife, and mother. Both men and women also have expectations as to how the opposite sex should fulfi ll their roles. For instance, some husbands may expect their wives to cook and do household chores. A girlfriend may expect her boyfriend to pay for every date.

Role expectations can create confusion. This is because people do not always agree on the behavior for certain roles. Today, some of the barriers created by gender differences are diminishing. As society’s view of male and female roles continues to change, people’s views of role expectations will change, too.

When Negative Feelings OccurEvery person has negative feelings at times. When you hold back

negative feelings, they may become stronger and more frustrating. You need to know how to vent your emotions. Even negative feelings can be communicated in a useful, constructive way.

Handling Negative FeelingsThere are many ways you can resolve negative feelings. You must

fi rst wish to communicate effectively and be willing to take the fi rst steps to resolving these feelings. As you read the following suggestions, think about yourself. Which of these guidelines would be most helpful for you?• Discuss your negative feelings with the person whose behavior is

bothering you. Do not complain to others until you have spoken with that person. People who are not involved in a problem usually cannot do anything about it.

• Keep a simple issue simple. Do not add other issues to it, building it up until it becomes a major problem.

• Do not reopen old issues that have already been settled.

• Discuss the problem without making nasty comments and accusations that would hurt the other person. Recognize your own faults and accept them. Do not blame them on others. Try to be pleasant rather than grouchy. Help people see that you like them, even though you do not like their behavior.

Marriage and Family TherapistCan you think of other careersrelated to the chapter?

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• Say what must be said and stop. Do not continue talking about one issue and repeating yourself.

• Try to end on a positive note. Make a positive comment about the person or the situation.

Communication in the WorkplaceThe communication skills you have learned to use in your personal

life can help you communicate at work. The circumstances differ, however. You have known your family and close friends for a long time, and you have learned how to communicate with them. When you begin a job, you will meet many new people. In today’s world, the workforce is likely to be very diverse (differing from one another). Workers differ by age, ethnicity, and gender. Increasing numbers of workers have disabilities. Due to the diverse nature of the workforce, communication can be more challenging. See 2-8.

2-8Clear communication in the workforce can be challenging, but it is necessary for a team to function well.



The goals of communication at work are to pass along information and to build effective work relationships. Different styles of communicating and different interpretations of communications can interfere with attaining both of these goals. People from different backgrounds may defi ne problems differently. They bring their personal goals, priorities, and standards to their jobs. When diverse people form team-based work groups, disagreements may occur. It is important to remember that every person is different. That does not mean they are diffi cult. By thinking of someone as just different, you become less judgmental. You can be more open to their opinions and ideas.

Many of the effective communication techniques that you use in other settings can also be used on the job. In addition, the following points can be helpful:• Keep conversations unrelated to work to a minimum. These prevent

you and other employees from doing your work. Your personal life should be kept private. Workplace gossip should be avoided. Professionalism is expected of employees.

• Show courtesy to customers and clients. Do not keep them waiting while you fi nish a conversation with a fellow employee.

• Use good listening skills. Listen carefully when directions are given. Ask questions to prevent any misunderstandings.

• Use standard English at work, not slang. For example, say yes rather than yeah.

• Avoid telling jokes at work. Because of the diverse nature of the workforce, some people may be offended by an innocent joke.

• If misunderstandings occur, discuss them with the person involved. It is possible to respectfully disagree.

ReadingReview

1. True or false. In open communication, people know each other so well that they agree about everything.

2. Give fi ve examples of ways to communicate positive feelings. 3. A communication barrier based on opinions that people form

without complete knowledge is known as _____ . 4. Identify fi ve ways to communicate negative feelings. 5. What makes communication in today’s workplace challenging?

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Section 2-4 Confl ict Resolution 51

Each person has a unique way of viewing and reacting to every situation. When people live and work closely, as they do in families, in friendships, and on the job, confl icts are bound to arise. A confl ict is a struggle between two people or groups who have opposing views. The ability to resolve a confl ict is an important skill in good communication.

Types of Confl ictsThere are all types of confl icts. Some are small, such as a disagreement

between two people over a trivial matter, 2-9. You and a friend may disagree over where to go after school. Disagreements can grow into larger confl icts if the two people are not willing to reach an agreement peacefully.

Confl icts can also occur within families—between husbands and wives, parents and children, or among siblings. Again, the confl icts can be small and easily resolved. They can also be over important issues. Maybe you and your parents disagree about how late you should be able to stay out on weekend nights. Bringing up an issue that is causing a confl ict is a good way to begin to deal with the problem. Listening to each other’s views and talking about them can usually lead to good solutions.

Confl icts are not confi ned to interpersonal relationships. They can occur between larger groups—even entire nations. Throughout the world, there are nations that are at war with other nations. These, too,

Section 2-4Confl ict Resolution

confl ictscapegoatingnegotiation

compromiseconfl ict resolution

process

mediationpeer mediators

ObjectivesAfter studying this section, you will be able to• identify some types and causes of confl ict.• explain possible negative and positive reactions to confl ict.• describe constructive and destructive methods of confl ict resolution.• list the steps in the confl ict resolution process.• explain the use of mediation.

Key Terms


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are confl icts, but on a much larger scale. Many times the confl icts between nations are based on some of the same differences that cause confl icts between individuals. Differences in religious beliefs and practices are often at the core of many national confl icts. Disagreements over government policies can also lead to major disputes.

Causes of Confl ictCauses of confl ict can be trivial or

signifi cant. It is important to take an objective look at the confl ict and try to determine the cause. Knowing why the confl ict occurred will likely help in resolving it. Many confl icts occur

because of poor communication. Have you ever made arrangements to meet some friends, and they never showed up? You may have been really angry until you found out they never received your message, or they misunderstood where you were to meet. Many times a failure to communicate can be more serious. Has anyone ever said to you “If you had told me, all this could have been avoided”?

Some confl icts result from specifi c situations. For instance, perhaps you and your friend both like the same boy. The situation could lead to a confl ict between the two of you. Other confl icts are caused by personality clashes. If people have very different personalities, they could be on a collision course.

Confl icts often occur between parents and their children during the teenage years. The role of parents is to guide their children as they grow toward adulthood. Parents are responsible for their well-being until they are adults. The role of teens is to develop independence. They are anxious to be able to make decisions for themselves. Finding a happy medium between these opposing roles is often diffi cult. Parents and children often pull in opposite directions. Confl icts frequently occur during these tumultuous years.

Differences in values can lead to confl icts. Your values are important to you. If someone else does not have the same values as you, confl icts can arise. The degree of confl ict depends on the importance of the value to you. For instance, your parents may think good grades are most important, while you think your performance on the volleyball team is most important. You want to spend time practicing when they want you to study more.

Some confl icts can be traced to cultural differences. For example, the American culture is one where people are always busy and active. People from many other cultures prefer a more relaxed pace.

21stCenturySkills

Confl ict resolution. Jackie and Kelly are coworkers with different personalities. However, they resolve their confl icts quietly and do not let them affect their work.

2-9Even good friends can have confl icts because they are together so much of the time. What is important is to choose a method of resolving the confl ict that is fair to all.


Reactions to Confl ictConfl ict is normal. There will always be disagreements between

people. It is how people react or respond to these disagreements that determines whether they ignite into major confl icts or just go away. Negative reactions can escalate confl icts and lead to hostility and personal attacks. Some even end in violence. Positive reactions can lead to solutions that both parties can accept. Many actually lead to personal growth.

Negative ReactionsAvoidance is a common reaction to confl ict. Some people just walk

away. This might be a good response if a person is concerned that an argument could escalate into violence. A cooling-down period might be good for everyone involved. In most cases, however, avoidance simply puts off resolution. It does not solve the problem. Instead, resentment builds up as the person tries to suppress hurt feelings. If this continues over a period of time, it can lead to an explosion of emotions when the person fi nally reaches a breaking point.

Some people attempt to resolve confl icts by blaming others. This is called scapegoating. The person blamed for the problem is the scapegoat. Everyone else is freed of the responsibility for the problem because they can blame this other person. This is not a resolution because no one tries to solve the confl ict. The confl ict goes on with both parties feeling it is “not my problem.”

Some responses to confl ict include arguing, becoming angry, and name-calling. When one person becomes angry and begins yelling, the other person is likely to become angry as well. Verbal attacks fl y back and forth. People say hurtful things they often regret later. They feel belittled when their self-esteem is under attack. It is sometimes hard to forgive people when such outbreaks occur. An atmosphere of hostility prevails.

The most destructive reaction to confl ict is violence. If tempers fl are out of control, shoving, hitting, or pushing can result. Some people fi rst experience hitting as children. They think this is an acceptable form of reaction because their parents hit them. They also see more violence portrayed in the media—on television and in movies. As they become older, they may use this same form of behavior. A violent reaction to confl ict is never the answer. It can lead to child abuse, spouse abuse, or elder abuse. It can also lead to violence outside the home.

Positive ReactionsThere are ways people can react to confl ict that will help the

situation. First, you can learn to control your emotions. Lashing out in anger usually solves nothing. You can also ask the other person to remain calm. Both people need to stop, take a deep breath, and quiet their emotions. See 2-10.

Analyze and

Solve

Form small groups to discuss and answer the following questions: Is peer pressure a big problem for teens? Do you agree that most peer pressure does not come from close friends? Have you seen peer pressure used as a scapegoat? Can you cite some instances? In what ways do teens deal with peer pressure? Summarize your group’s responses and present them to the class.



It is also important to listen. Instead of shouting, stop and listen to what each person is saying. Focus on the real problem as you exchange views. Do not bring up other issues. Focus on the current confl ict.

Try to remain neutral. Do not jump to a judgment before everyone has his or her say. Then you are ready to fi nd a real solution to the confl ict.

Learning to react positively when a confl ict occurs is an important life skill that can lead to personal growth. It is a sign of maturity when you can control your emotions, listen to other viewpoints, and avoid jumping to conclusions. These skills will help you in your personal relationships as well as in work situations. Teamwork is stressed in today’s workplace. You might someday be working closely with other employees in a work setting. Because confl icts will arise, reacting positively can lead to constructive resolution of these confl icts. An employer will recognize and appreciate your ability to handle confl ict in a mature manner.

Constructive Methods for Handling Confl ict

To resolve a confl ict, each person has to assume responsibility for his or her feelings. The emotions you feel may be caused by others, but they belong to you. If

you wish to lessen stress that occurs in confl ict, you must be willing to resolve the confl ict. Try these techniques for starters.

Use “I” MessagesUse “I” messages instead of “you” messages. This means you take

ownership for your feelings. You state what you feel or think instead of criticizing the other person. Say “I think you are ignoring me” rather than “You are ignoring me”. You might further say, “When I think you are ignoring me, I feel hurt. I do not like being ignored.” As you express your feelings, you are taking credit for them.

“You” messages, on the other hand, come across as accusations. “You are ignoring me” places blame on the other person and may aggravate the situation. When taking ownership and saying “I think” or “I feel” you avoid accusing the other person of negative behaviors.

Learn to send “I” messages. For example, “When you tell so-called funny stories about me to my friends, I am embarrassed.” Can you see in this example that you are assuming responsibility for your feelings of embarrassment? A “you” message sounds like an accusation. “You embarrass me when you tell your so-called funny stories about me to my friends.” The “you” message places the blame on the other person.

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2-10Being calm and using humor are ways to soothe the heated emotions of a confl ict.


Decide Who Owns the Problem

Whose problem is it? When a problem exists between two people, both own the problem. Even when one person creates the problem, he or she makes it a problem for the other. State your point of view in a way that will not create an argument. Seek feedback to determine how the other person is receiving your message. To avoid misunderstandings, use clarifying messages periodically, 2-11. Try comments such as: “If I am hearing you correctly, you are saying that...” or “I think I heard you say...”

Learn to Negotiate and Compromise

An important method for resolving confl icts is negotiation. Negotiation means communicating with others in order to reach a mutually satisfying agreement. Such an agreement usually involves a compromise. In a compromise, both parties agree to give up something. Each person gives up something of importance to obtain something else that also has importance.

Negotiation and compromise must be considered carefully. Some issues may be so important to you that you will be unwilling to negotiate and compromise. For example, you may not wish to compromise your moral views or spiritual views. For this reason, you will not enter into a negotiation that would require you to make a compromise. What is important is that you negotiate and compromise when it is appropriate.

The purpose of negotiation and compromise is to remove confl ict. Four methods are commonly used.• You win/I lose. The person who wins is happy with this

compromise. However, you are likely to be unhappy about your loss. The confl ict is likely to resurface at a future time.

• I win/you lose. This is the opposite of the above situation. You feel happy because you achieved what you wanted. However, the person who loses may not be happy about being the loser. This confl ict is likely to resurface. One person had to compromise too much.

2-11When resolving a confl ict with another person, state your point of view calmly and clearly. Then ask for feedback.



• I lose/you lose. Negotiations apparently became very diffi cult this time. Both you and the other person are losers. So many compromises were made that neither person’s wishes were met. No one is happy.

• I win/you win. This is the ideal way to resolve confl icts. You were able to negotiate in such a way that each achieved what he or she wanted. Neither person forced his or her ideas on the other. Neither was forced to compromise anything that was cherished. Those items that were lost were not highly valued, so there were no losers. Both are now happy winners.

You must recognize that some confl icts cannot be resolved. There are people who create confl icts and refuse to resolve them. Some people make unfair demands on others. If this happens, you may have to give up your responsibility toward resolution. You may have to recognize that the problem is not yours and leave it with the person who owns it.

In these situations, relations between the people involved will suffer. Perhaps the relationship is already weak. Remember that

relationships are between at least two people. Sometimes every person has to be willing to stand alone. When efforts toward negotiation and compromise do not work, you can still feel you tried your best. In spite of the outcome, you have gained some experience from having tried to resolve the issue.

Use the Confl ict Resolution Process

In some instances, a more formal process may be needed to resolve the confl ict. The confl ict resolution process is a step-by-step form of communication that allows confl icts to be worked out in a positive manner. The process should be used as soon as possible after a confl ict occurs. This prevents anger and tension from building. It should also take place in private with only the individuals or parties involved present. Everyone needs to remain calm and be willing to listen to each other.

Life SkillsThe Confl ict Resolution Process

1. State the problem. All participants must have the opportunity to tell their view of

what is causing the problem. Each person must listen carefully and stay focused on the main issue. All must agree on exactly what the problem is.

2. List possible solutions. The next step is to suggest all potential solutions. Think of as many solutions as possible even if some seem unworkable. An idea can sometimes spark a better solution. Everyone should be able to speak freely and without criticism.

3. Evaluate each possible solution. Take a closer look at the best possible solutions. Which ones do both parties like? Which ones seem to solve the problem? Use negotiation skills until a compromise solution can be reached.

4. Pick the best solution. Finally, both parties must agree to the best solution. It will not be a solution unless everyone is in agreement.

5. Carry out the solution. A plan should be made to carry out the solution. State what each party will do and when they will do it. Keep it simple. Also, decide what actions the parties will take if a confl ict occurs again.

6. Evaluate the results. The process does not end until the solution has been put into action and the results are evaluated. If a confl ict is still occurring, the process needs to begin again. Following these steps, where everyone involved is allowed to speak freely, should lead to satisfactory solutions. More serious and escalating confl icts can be avoided.

mus


MediationSome efforts to resolve confl icts between parties just do not work

without outside help. Mediation may be needed. In mediation, a third person is called on to help reconcile differences between the confl icting parties. This person is called a mediator. Through mediation, an attempt is made to settle the dispute and fi nd a peaceful solution to the confl ict. The opposing parties talk to each other with the help of the mediator. Mediators can assist in school, work, and even international disputes. They are often included in the confl ict resolution process.

A mediator is sometimes needed to settle family disputes. Family members live under the same roof, share meals and living space, work together, and play together. Confl icts are bound to occur. The confl ict resolution process can be used by family members to resolve their confl icts. The two family members can talk about the problem and fi nd a solution acceptable to both. Sometimes mediation may be needed. Who becomes the mediator? Anyone who is not emotionally tied to the issue can become the neutral third party. When a mom and daughter have a strong difference of opinion, the dad or son might be the mediator who helps bring about a win/win solution.

Peer MediationMany schools use peer mediators. These are students who are

trained in the confl ict resolution process. They listen and act in an unbiased manner to help fellow students settle their differences. Peer mediators are selected for their leadership skills, emotional maturity, and interest in helping others. They are often preferred as mediators because students feel more comfortable with a peer. They may feel another student can understand their problems better than an adult. Hopefully, solutions can be found. When confl icts cannot be resolved, the parties involved may have to agree to disagree, but in a peaceful manner. This necessitates respect for all concerned.

Violence: A Destructive Method of Handling Confl ict

You have learned of constructive ways to deal with confl ict. Is there such a thing as a destructive method of dealing with confl ict? If a confl ict is settled, how can it be destructive? The answer is if an act of violence is used. If physical force is used against another person or group that harms them to the point where they are completely subdued and afraid to speak up, then a destructive method of handling confl ict has been used. The confl ict is ended only because one person or party has been injured or even killed by another person or group.

Gangs often use this form of confl ict resolution. It also happens within some families. It may take the form of spouse abuse, child abuse,



or elder abuse. If confl icts arise, one family member may attempt to completely dominate another family member. Physical force is often used, but emotional abuse can be equally devastating. Suicide also falls into this category. A person may feel there is no way out and attempt suicide.

Remember that violence does not solve a confl ict. Violence is costly to society in terms of tax dollars spent on criminals in prisons. It is also costly to people in terms of lowered self-worth and lost dignity in addition to physical pain and suffering.

Always strive for positive resolutions of confl icts where differences are settled peacefully and friendships and families are kept intact. Confl ict resolution skills will benefi t you throughout your life as they foster relationships, increase job productivity, and prevent violence.

ReadingReview

1. State three possible causes of confl ict. 2. Give an example of a negative reaction to confl ict and an example of

a positive reaction to confl ict. 3. Why are “I” messages more successful than “you” messages in

resolving confl icts? 4. Name the most ideal negotiation and compromise method. 5. List the steps in the confl ict resolution process. 6. Why is mediation sometimes needed to resolve confl icts?

RRR11 St t th

59

SummaryA positive attitude, dependability,

honesty, and an ability to work with others will help ensure your success in the workplace. Staying up-to-date on changes in technology is key to staying competitive in the job market.

Developing your ability to communicate well will help you throughout your life. To do this, you will want to improve your verbal communication skills. As a speaker, you need to send clear messages. As a listener, you want to receive and understand messages.

Nonverbal communication is an important part of the communication process as well. As you talk with people, you will become aware of the many messages you receive through nonverbal communication. Your appearance, manners, and body language are just a few of the ways you convey messages without words.

Technology has led to new forms of communication. These include cellular phones, e-mail, and video conferencing. Remember to use these mediums of communication cautiously and courteously.

Recognizing common communication barriers such as stereotypes, prejudices, mixed messages, and gender differences helps people overcome them. Because of the diversity of today’s workplace, communication in the workplace is especially important.

No matter how well people communicate, confl icts are still going to occur. There are many types and causes of confl icts, just as there are negative and positive reactions to them. Confl icts can best be resolved through negotiation and compromise. The confl ict resolution process can also be used to resolve confl ict. Mediation by a neutral third party is sometimes necessary. Violence is a destructive method of confl ict resolution.

Chapter 2 Review

1. Analyze priorities. If you were an employer, what three qualities would you most want in an employee? Explain your answer in a written paragraph.

2. Summarize details. Try to improve your listening and speaking skills by having a conversation with another person about any topic. When one partner speaks, the other listens. Neither person may respond to any statement without fi rst summarizing what the partner has said. Incorrect summaries must be clarifi ed before the conversation continues.

3. Apply ratings. How would you rate your verbal communication skills at school and at home? Based on your rating, what steps would you take to improve your listening and speaking skills?

4. Analyze behavior. Ask classmates to demonstrate desirable skills in communicating the following messages. Discuss each message after it is delivered. Tell why you think the speaker chose a certain phrase, speaking style, or tone of voice.A. Describe your favorite meal to your

best friend.B. Describe your favorite meal to your

grandparent.C. Ask a restaurant waiter to recook a

hamburger that is too rare.D. Ask a salesclerk to recheck a

sales slip that you think is wrong.E. Communicate with a four-year-old

who wants to eat cookies just before dinner.


60

F. Role-play a situation in which a talkative young man is dating a quiet young woman.

5. Apply ratings. Select and rank any fi ve barriers to communication listed in this chapter. Use the number one as the most frequently observed barrier. Use the number fi ve as the least frequently observed barrier. List some ways to overcome each barrier.

6. Compare and contrast. What in your opinion is the best way to resolve a confl ict? the least desirable way to resolve a confl ict?

7. Speech, writing. Interview a successful employee about his or her attitude, dependability, honesty, ethics, cooperation, and appearance on the job. Ask how these factors have impacted the employee’s performance. Write a newspaper-style article on the qualities of successful employees. Use quotes from the interview in your article.

8. Speech. Prepare a speech on a topic of interest and present it to the class. Have classmates critique your speech on the criteria listed in “Developing Speaking Skills.”

9. Social studies. Research how stereotypes and prejudices are formed about different groups of people. Write a brief summary of your fi ndings.

10. History. Study the causes of different wars. Could these confl icts have been avoided? Were any caused by a failure in communication?

11. Social studies. List lifestyle differences in cultures that could lead to confl ict.

12. History. Describe examples of negotiation and compromise between nations. Discuss the individuals representing all parties and their qualifi cations as negotiators.

13. Speech. Role-play the use of the confl ict resolution process. Describe a hypothetical situation that might occur in your school where the confl ict resolution process could be used. Have classmates take roles as the two groups in confl ict. If your school has peer mediators, ask one of them to participate in the role-play.

14. Research technology. What type of technological skills do you think will be most important in the workplace in 10 years? 20 years? Write a brief summary of your response.

15. Computer project. Use drawing software to illustrate the cycle of communication. Make sure to include speakers, listeners, and feedback.

16. Video presentation. Create a video on successful communication strategies for student groups to use at school.

17. Computer project. Select a possible confl ict between two students who are working together on a class project. Describe how the confl ict could be resolved using each of the methods of negotiation and compromise. Use a computer software program to create charts showing the methods and corresponding resolutions.

61

As a part of working on the Focus on Children STAR Event, visit a child care center and observe the way teachers communicate with the children. Notice the way children communicate with one another. Write recommendations for eliminating any communication barriers you observe.

Electronic communication is fast and convenient. Many people don’t think before they hit the “Send” button. Give examples of electronic communication pitfalls and prepare a list of guidelines to follow to avoid them. Document how electronic communication can both help and hinder a career. Add your list of guidelines to your portfolio.

You hear footsteps coming closer. You turn and see your best friend walk into the room. His shoulders are slumped and his arms are folded. One of his hands is clenched in a fi st. He is frowning, and he avoids making eye contact with you.

Write About It: What nonverbal messages are being sent? What would be your response to these messages?

Prepare your response using the Journal Writing guide at the website.

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