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Chapter 1

An extra ordinary boy

Extraordinary! Absolutely extraordinary! exclaimed Ebullient.

Are you sure about this? Demurrer mused looking at the hour glass. He doesnt seem

ery extraordinary to mein act " #ould reason he looks ery ordinary$ more ordinary than

most een! Almost %too& ordinary.

" am 'erectly sure he is the one that HE s'oke o$ thank you ery much Demurrer. Ho#eer

" am not sure i HE #as began (redence$ but abru'tly sto''ed as a rather loud crack o

thunder rang out oer head$ #hich elt to (redence like the crack o a #hi' used in

correction.

)he three looked u' briely$ heads bo#ed in a'ology beore turning their ga*e back to the

glass$ and #atching rom a ar a ery$ ery$ extra ordinary boy.

+

)here #ere good days and bad days$ as one might ex'ect in lie$ yet in the case o ,i' these

things #ere ery black and #hite and oten li' lo''ed #ith no shades o grey in bet#een.

-or exam'le$ that morning #hen he had #oken it had been raining. ot unex'ected in

/ritain$ but or ,i' that meant it #as going to be a bad day. Ho#eer$ on entering the kitchenhe sa# his blue lunch box set out on the #ork to' next to his lask and he smiled. His mother

had made his 'acked lunch. "t might not actually be a bad day at all he thought. 0n closer

ins'ection o said sand#iches$ and more to the 'oint their illingit #as going to be a ery

good day indeed. (hicken$ bacon mayo sand#iches on thick #hite bread. 1hed een 'ut in

a 'acket o cris's and a 'enguin. 2

)he eelings o 3ood day$ bad day interchanged #ith ease so much so that he hardly

noticed anymore$ and although there #ere no 0k days$ or middling days$ the mere act it

did go rom good to bad so oten ineitably did lead to some 0k days. "t #as sim'ly logical.

45 good day eents 'lus 6 bad e7uals a bad day. 8 /ad day eents 'lus 8 good though$#ould logically een out to being an 0k day. ,i' though only eer thought on the ery last

eent that had ha''ened. "t #as ater all the most releant at that ery moment. He could

hae #on the lottery$ ound out his ne# masseuse #as a ormer and recently diorced

'layboy model #ith a 'enchant or Extra ordinary blokes and he #as her one and only eer

client$ then come home and ind out the 9i&-i had gone o 8 min beore bedtime and think it

#as a bad day.

2The chocolate bar not the animal. If it had been an animal the day would have

been a very odd day and that cant happen as nothing odd happens in Pips

world.

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So, as Pip left the house, blue lunch box in hand, he thought Yes, this is a good

day. espite the rain, !hich he had all but forgotten about, that !as until he

heard the thunder crac" o#erhead. $ad day he thought as he opened the car

door and got in. %he thought of it being bad lasted only brie&y though, as it often

did, and &ipped bac" to good as soon as he started dri#ing. 'e(d )ust gotten into

the second chorus of good days reason *There she goesby Sixpence none

the richer+ !hen suddenly none of that attered anyore because !hat

happened next ade hi feel there !ould de-antly not be any/ good days

e#er/ again.

Swoosh!

Errrrrrrrrrk!

Thud!

Errrrrk!

Bang!

0here the an had stepped fro Pip did not "no!, !here he lay, or ore, !here

he should/ ha#e laid, Pip no! stared. 'e !as loo"ing at nothing. Actually that(s

not true, he !as loo"ing at bro"en glass, a !indscreen !iper and a copletely

crushed car bonnet !hich seeed to be hanging onto the cars frae !ith all the

!ill ofJack)ust beforeRose ga#e !oen a bad nae.

Chic"en and bacon y fa#ourite. 2h and a penguin 3ery good indeed4

it(s a bit crubly, but it(ll do4

Pip blin"ed. 5n his state of shoc" the #oice of the an casually perusing his

pac"ed lunch *!hich had shot through the no! defunct !indshield+ didn(t see

totally/ !eird at all. Plus, !e ust reeber, in Pips !orld, nothing can be !eird

or odd. 6ust noral.

Er yeah4y u ade it4 Pip stuttered.

0hat(s blac" and !hite and red all o#er7 %he #oice cae again.

Sorry7...0hat47 Pip said blin"ing once ore suddenly noticing the scru8y

t!eed )ac"et, !elly boots and !hat appeared to be a green tea cosy sat atop the

head of the an !ho spo"e !ith his bac" to hi.

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0hat(s blac" and !hite and red all o#er7 %he Yor"shire an said half turning

to!ard Pip.

Er4not being funny, but 5( a bit busy at the oent4you "no!4!hat !ith4

Pip started but 9uic"ly got cut o8

A :e!spaper7 2'..'a that(s a good un( %he an laughed, his gri;;led face

distorting slightly as he did, his blue eyes the only sign that a face e#en existed

there and not )ust a heap of crupled old leather.

Er4ha, yeah4yeah45( sorry, but4you "no!4 Pips !orld stubled out li"e

those of a baby !anting it(s blan"et, slo!ly and cally at -rst until -nally

erupting into What the fuck is going on??

5( eating a penguin %he an said rather atter of factly. 5 don(t "no! about

you4

Pip !as )ust about to ha#e another outburst at the nonchalant attitude !hich

usually !ould ha#e irrored his o!n !hen the old tier suddenly seeed to

ha#e realised the gra#ity of the situation. At least that(s !hat Pip thought as he

!atched hi coically slap hiself on the forehead. %he !ords !hich the old

an said next ho!e#er Pip did not see coing.

2h sorry Yeah, yeah 5 "no!4sorry, you(re dead. 5( al!ays forgetting not

e#eryone(s up to speed on these things.