http://cathfamily.org

PASSING ON THE FAITH

DADS + KIDS = KIDS + CHURCHPAGE 4Kiara Pirola

FATHER MENTORS

THE MAN VILLAGEPAGE 14GUEST AUTHOR

SEASONAL NOTES

FOCUS ON FATHERHOODPAGE 26

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2 | September 2015

THIS MONTH

Sep 2015

Th 3 St Gregory the Great

Su 6 Ordinary Time 23 Father’s Day

Tu 8 The Birth of Mary

We 9 St Peter Claver

Sa 12 The Holy Name of Mary

Su 13 Ordinary Time 24 St John Crysostom

Mo 14 Exhaltation of the Holy Cross

Tu 15 Our Lady of Sorrows

We 16 Sts Cornelius & Cyprian

Th 17 St Robert Bellarmine

Sa 19 St Januarius

Su 20 Ordinary Time 25 Sts Andrew Kim Taegon & Companions

Mo 21 St Matthew the Apostle

We 23 St Pio of Pietreclina

Sa 26 Sts Cosmos & Damien

Su 27 Ordinary Time 26 St Vincent de Paul

Mo 28 St Wenceslaus Sts Lawrence Ruiz & Companions

Tu 29 Feast of the Archangels Micheal, Gabriel & Raphael

We 30 St Jerome

Welcome to the September edition of CathFamily on spiritual fatherhood!

It’s my pleasure to bring it to you so that Kiara Pirola can devote herself to obtaining her Master’s Degree. Her parting gift is our feature article on the importance of fathers in transmitting faith to their children. Recent studies reveal that fathers have a greater influence in this regard than mothers, and Kiara presents intriguing reasons why this might be the case.

Of course while each child has a biological father, children don’t equally receive the same spiritual and human influences from their fathers. In raising their children all fathers can benefit from the support of other male mentors in the extended family and community. Additional male mentors such as uncles, godfathers, grandparents, coaches and teachers, can be a huge help for all parents in raising children with faith and virtue.

We also look at the role of priests as spiritual fathers, and the supreme model of spiritual fatherhood, St Joseph.

We hope these stories move you, like they did us, with gratitude for our spiritual fathers!

Marilyn RodriguesEditor

FROM THE EDITOR...

2015 September | 3

4 | September 2015

Kiara Pirola examines some recent statistics on the unique impact that fathers have on their children’s spiritual development and decisions about worship practice later in life.

For families where religious tradition is important, interesting statistics have emerged on the different impact of fathers and mothers on the continuing faith practice of their children.

In 1994, Swiss researchers examined the factors that contributed to passing the faith on to the next generation. They measured this faith transfer by the grown children’s level of church attendance.

What they found was both fascinating and sobering; the father’s faith and regular practice was critical to the continued faith practice of their children, regardless of the mother’s level of faith practice and participation.

2015 September | 5

If BOTH parents attended church services regularly:

• 33% of their children would become regular churchgoers themselves

• 41% would attend irregularly

• 26% would not attend at all.

If it is the MOTHER who is a committed church-goer, while the father attended irregularly or not at all:

• 2-3% of the children grew up to be regular church-goers themselves.

• 59% would attend irregularly.

It gets really interesting when only one of the parents is a committed church-goer. The chances of your children being faithful church-goers as adults depended upon which parent was going to church.

6 | September 2015

If the FATHER was the committed one, while the mother practised irregularly:

• 38% of those children became regular churchgoers as adults.

Most strikingly, in families where only the father attended church and the mother not at all:• 44 per cent of those children

became regular church-goers.

What these statistics show is that, as far as attending church goes, if you want your kids to grow up to be practicing adults, dads have to, at a minimum, attend church regularly. Church attendance is a rather crude measurement of the health and vibrance of our spiritual life, but it is the most obvious and statstically measurable aspect of our religious devotion and the most publically visible one too.

If you’re a single mother, or mother with a non-Catholic or non-practicing spouse, don’t despair! Your faith practice does have an impact.

Your example will keep most of your kids from falling away from Mass attendance completely, but you will have to invest in cultivating fruitful relationships between your kids and other practicing, faithful men in your network, such as godfathers, uncles or grandfathers.

ACCESS THE ORIGINAL STUDY HERE

For an excellent unpacking of the statistics, have a read of this Touchstone article and this commentary on similar surveys by Dr Greg Popcak.

2015 September | 7

This survey did not explore why fathers have such a dramatic impact on the faith practice of their children. I am no parenting expert, psychologist or sociologist so I offer the following thoughts based on my observations, reading and conversation with family and friends.

My intuition as to why fathers have such a significant impact on their child’s adult spirituality has to do with the different ways mothers and fathers parent their children as they develop.

8 | September 2015

In infancy and childhood, mothers

are absolutely central to their children. They

nourish and nurture their children physically,

emotionally, psychologically and spiritually. They are the place

where children find a primal, pre-verbal comfort, safety and peace.

Mothers are essential to forging positive, pre-verbal foundations of a child’s spiritual life.

2015 September | 9

As children get older, and grow in independence from their mother, they need their father more and more. The father’s guidance and mentoring of their children builds upon the foundation that their mothers laid down. Fathers are the critical influence that guides a child to take its deep, subconscious attachment to their faith into an intentional, mature, adult faith.

10 | September 2015

So fathers, you are needed in your child’s spiritual development as much as you are needed for their psychological, emotional and physical development. You need to take a visible lead in this department, especially if you tend to prefer a quieter, more private faith. Your children are literally depending on you to show them the way.

About the AuthorKiara Pirola is the former editor of CathFamily and is currently undertaking her Master’s Degree in International Relations at the University of NSW, Sydney.

2015 September | 11

“Human fatherhood gives us an anticipation of what He is. But when this fatherhood does not exist, when it is experienced only as a biological phenomenon, without its human and spiritual dimension, all statements about God the Father are empty. The crisis of fatherhood we are living today is an element, perhaps the most important, threatening man in his humanity. The dissolution of fatherhood and motherhood is linked to the dissolution of our being sons and daughters.”

Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger (later Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI) | Palermo, 2001

12 | September 2015

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Where a child’s own father is struggling or absent through separation, extensive work commitments, prolonged illness, death or some other circumstance it’s even more important for families to have a support network which includes good father figures. And besides, even the most dedicated father can lack interest or skill in an area where his child can benefit from a male contribution.

It’s impossible for any one man to provide everything that his child humanly and spiritually needs. This is where a godparent, other male relatives, teachers, sports coaches etc. can fill the gaps or even take on a greatly formative role.

14 | September 2015

2015 September | 15

Brett McKay, founder of the online men’s magazine, the Art of Manliness, believes that it takes a village of man mentors to raise a child, even when the child has a father to look up to. He has written a beautiful tribute to the man who greatly influenced his outlook on life, sculptor Andrew Lester.

He was 15 when he first met Mr Lester at church, who was then in his 80s. “I never thought he would become a mentor and good friend to me,” he wrote. “But by chance, I was asked to regularly visit him and his wife to help them out around their home. Little did I know the impact this man would have on my passage into manhood.”

Brett still remembers the conversations they had and the lessons the older man gave him.

“From Mr Lester I learned the importance of being an honourable man. I learned that success in life requires tenacity and enthusiasm. I learned that the strong should look out for the weak. And I learned the value of respect towards all, no matter their race, creed, or social background...

Mr Lester would always ask me about what was going on in my life. He’d listen intently and provide some counsel and words of encouragement or sometimes a verbal kick in the butt if I needed it. After each visit with him, I felt uplifted and edified.”

Brett maintains that there are some lessons and bits of wisdom that only a man can impart. “Men and women are different. We view and interact with the world differently.”

16 | September 2015

READ THE WHOLE ARTICLE: EVERY MAN NEEDS A MENTOR

2015 September | 17

PRIESTS AS SPIRITUAL FATHERS

The Church has always seen priests as spiritual fathers, called to spiritually nourish their people with the Sacraments and inspire new generations of men and women to follow Jesus faithfully in every sphere of life. They are also called to be joyful models of self-giving love as celibates dedicated to God and the Church. In this way they are both free to assist families and also support vocations to the priesthood and religious life.

Pope Francis has reminded priests that they should have a fatherly concern for the people in their care, telling them that if a man has no desire to be a father in some way “something is missing”.

“All of us [men], to exist, to become complete, in order to be mature, we need to feel the joy of fatherhood…Fatherhood is giving life to others…[in the case of a priest] it is pastoral paternity, spiritual fatherhood, but this is still giving life, this is still becoming fathers.”

Pope Francis, Vatican Homily | 26 June, 2013

18 | September 2015

At Baptism, we become the beloved child of God, spiritually adopted by our Heavenly Father for all eternity.

2015 September | 19

St Joseph, husband of Mary and adoptive father to Jesus, would have to be the spiritual father ‘par excellence’. Here author Bob Waruszewski in The Catholic Gentleman blog shares his love of St Joseph and reasons why this saint is a great spiritual father and role model for men.

Five reasons every man should love St JosephSt Joseph often slips under the radar because of his quiet demeanour and hidden life. However, he has much to teach us about growing in holiness. Here are five reasons to discover St Joseph.

1. He is the patron saint of workers

As men, work takes up a great portion of our lives. St Joseph can teach us how to work well if we ask him. One way to do this is to start your work day with a prayer to St Joseph. St Joseph is also good to invoke if you are having difficulty finding a job. He was commissioned to provide for the Son of God, so he fully understands the pressure men face to provide for their families.

20 | September 2015

2015 September | 21

2. His intercession is powerfulA seminarian once explained that whenever he needed something, he asked for St Joseph’s help, and his needs were met. Over the past few years, I have witnessed this in my own life. St Joseph has answered many of my prayers, whether it be finding a job or starting a family. In her autobiography, St Teresa of Avila promoted devotion to St Joseph and his unique relationship to Jesus made him a powerful intercessor for any kind of need.

3. He models fatherhood for usGod the Father chose St Joseph from all men to be the foster-father of Jesus. That truly says something about his character, for he was entrusted with leading, providing for and protecting the Son of God and God’s greatest creature, Our Lady. Joseph faithfully served the Holy Family and protected them from danger so that they could fulfil God’s mission. St Joseph taught Jesus in his humanity how to be a man. No doubt he taught him how to be a faithful Jew, as well as the trade of carpentry. He models well for us fathers how to be the spiritual leaders of our families. Like St Joseph, we are called to show the love of God the Father to our wives and children.

“Some saints are privileged to extend to us their patronage with particular efficacy in certain needs, but not in others; but our holy patron St Joseph has the power to assist us in all cases, in every necessity, in every undertaking”. - St Thomas Aquinas

22 | July 2015

4. He was an obedient manEvery time God asked him to do something, Joseph was eager to say yes. Whether that was taking Mary as his wife, going to Bethlehem for the census, or fleeing with his family to Egypt, Joseph always followed God’s will immediately. In an age where we are told to do things our own way, Joseph is a great reminder that true greatness is found in following God’s will, not our own.

5. He was a man of silenceWe never hear a word from St Joseph in the Bible for he was a man of great silence. Because of this silence, he was able to hear God’s voice and discern his will for the Holy Family. In an age of noise and many words, Joseph reminds us that if we wish to hear God’s voice, we must quiet our hearts and enter into the silence.

About The Catholic GentlemanFounded by Sam Guzeman, this is a blog for Catholic men which promises there is nothing more difficult, rewarding, or manly than becoming a saint. “The spiritual life is full of combat, struggle, hardship, and adventure requiring blood, sweat, tears, perseverance, and courage,” says Sam. “Catholic men are called to leave mediocrity behind and to strive for greatness. The Catholic Gentleman exists to inspire men to holiness—to love God, to serve others, and to deny self. And to do it all with class and classic manly flair.”

2015 July | 23

September’s Sainted FatherSt Padre Pio of Pietrelcina (Sept 23)

Born in Italy in 1887, this Capuchin Franciscan Friar was known for his great sanctity, gifts of healing and other miraculous phenomena such as the stigmata (open wounds of Christ) which he bore on his hands, feet and side for 50 years.

He was devoted to his spiritual children; these were people who sought his advice as their spiritual director in person and in hundreds of letters. He is said to have remembered all of their names and details of their lives. People would travel from far to see him – even sleeping outside the remote convent which had no hotels nearby.

He often promised that after his death he would help his spiritual children and stand at heaven’s threshold until they and their families had entered. He also said that after his death (which was in 1968) he would consider as his spiritual child anyone who persisted in prayer and doing good and had a Mass said occasionally for his intentions.

Judging by the fact that he is a very popular saint and there are hundreds of St Padre Pio prayer groups still active today, this spiritual Papa is kept very busy!

MORE ABOUT PADRE PIO

24 | September 2015

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26 | September 2015

SEASONAL NOTES

September

2015 September | 27

FATHER FOCUS

CRAFTMy Ancestor TreeThinking about fathers, and their fathers... this template will help you celebrate the great line of ancestral fathers in your heritage.

RECIPEMini Footy & Hole in OnesCook up a treat for Dad with these themed sausage rolls. Ideal for an afternoon footy game or picnic.

CRAFTMini Business Card Photo AlbumUsing two of Dad’s business cards, you can create a mini photo album for his wallet or desk.

It’s Father’s Day in Australia this month but every month is a good time to honour our dads. Here are some ideas from the CathFamily library.

28 | September 2015

For more ideas and inspiration visit www.CathFamily.org

We’re moving into Angel season. September 29 is the feast of Archangels and October 2 is the feast of Guardian Angels.

PRAYERSynod Prayer CardWith the World Meeting of Families in Philadelphia this month and the Synod on the family next month - it sure is a good time to be praying for families.

PRAYERSAngel PrayersGet spiritually in touch with the Archangels and guardian angels with these beautiful prayer cards.

CRAFTAngel WingsThese gorgeous angel wings are easy to make with everyday supplies you can find at home.

2015 September | 29