Author Kathleen H. WheelerSTORIES THAT SING

TAG ARCHIVES: CAROLYN A. BRENT

Author Carolyn Brent on Aging Parents, Caregiv-ing Issues, Family Relationships

Today I have the great pleasure of being the host on Day 5 of the Vir-

tual Blog Tour of author Carolyn A. Brent whose book Why Wait? The

Baby Boomers Guide to Preparing Emotionally, Financially and Legal-

ly for a Parents Death launches on Amazon on Tuesday November

15, 2011.

Author Carolyn A. Brent, M.B.A. is a former clinical educational man-

ager in the pharmaceutical industry. She is an avid activist and advo-

cate working with the U.S. Congress for the purpose of creating

change to protect seniors and veterans from nancial and medical

abuse. She has appeared on many local and national TV and radio

shows, and is a sought-after keynote speaker.

Yesterday, Carolyn visited Yvonne Perry at http://deathdyingafter-

life.blogspot.com/2011/11/virtual-interview-with-author-carolyn-brent.html, where they talked about impor-

tant family questions around support and being prepared.

Today, Id like to share with you a recent interview I had with Carolyn when I got to ask her some questions

on understanding various dierent family relationships and what to do/expect.

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Kathleen H. Wheeler: With 60% or more of families estimated to be dysfunctional in some way due to di-

vorce, blended families, mental illness or some form of addiction, do you feel these dysfunctional families

will be capable of responding eectively to the escalating caregiving challenge of their aging parents?

Carolyn A. Brent: Great Question! Contact an elder law attorney for guidance on ling for guardianship or a

Power of Attorney (POA) if your parent is already having trouble making decisions on his or her own behalf. Typi-

cally, these documents are led in family courts. Its best to work with a specialized elder law attorney at this point

so everything can be done in a manner that no one else can challengeor would want to challenge.

Also, I wish I would have known about a sibling contracts are customized to cover the unique situation being ex-

perienced by the siblings who are party to the agreement. (I could certainly have used this with my siblings who

did not get involved with Dads care until he was incapacitated). A sibling contract takes the pressure o sibling

caregivers on the back end of caregiving, because things have been discussed and spelled out clearly at the

front end.

Kathleen H. Wheeler: What advice can you oer for family caregivers dealing with a hostile and uncooper-

ative parent unwilling to accept their illness, mental decline and obvious need for assistance?

Carolyn A. Brent: Contact a medical professional for help! If your parent is at risk of harming themselves or oth-

ers, you should call the paramedics, police, or adult protective services. You must seek professional help, because

this can be a bigger problem than you think. The safety of you and your parents are the most important thing you

can do when you are dealing with a hostile and uncooperative parent. Keep in mind, your parent is not aware of

their illness but you are.

Kathleen H. Wheeler: How would you describe your relationship now with your family, especially your twin

sister, after twelve years caring for your father through serious family disagreements, accusations and legal

challenges?

Carolyn A. Brent: Best description to your question is this! There isnt a relationship with my twin or the other

family members that attracted me for the Pot of Gold that simply did not exist.

However, I have forgiven my twin and family. While going through the healing process and looking back and

questioning what helped? Why? And for what purpose? I learned about the Kbler-Ross model, commonly known

as The Five Stages of Grief: Denial Anger Bargaining Depression Acceptance. Once I clearly understood this

model, it helped me to realize that my family members and I were all at dierent stages in the grieving of our dad

and his illness. Because I was deeply involved hands on with my dad, I look back and can now see how we all

could have avoided such a tragic end. Overtime, I have reached the Acceptance stage. And, I mindfully avoid any

triggers that can throw me back to the Denial Anger Bargaining or Depression stage.

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I hope you enjoyed this interview with Carolyn A. Brent and that youll check out her book Why Wait? The

Baby Boomers Guide to Preparing Emotionally, Financially and Legally for a Parents Death at

http://www.babyboomersguide.org/book-launch/pre-launch.html

Thanks for reading! As usual, please feel free to share your comments and thoughts below. I love reading

your feedback.

AND be sure to follow Carolyn tomorrow when the next stop on the Virtual Blog Tour is Dr.Caron Goode,

who will be interviewing Carolyn on her personal story and on communicating on a couple of touchy sub-

jects. To visit that stop on the tour, go to either http://heartwiseparent.com/interview-with-carolyn-brent/

or http://academyforcoachingparents.com/blog/acpi/interview-with-carolyn-brent/

Tags: aging parents caregiving family relationships

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This entry was posted in Alzheimer's Disease, Books, Caregiving, Dementia, Family Relationships, Relation-

ships and tagged aging, aging parents, author, book, caregiving, carolyn a. brent, carolyn brent, family rela-

tionships, parents, virtual blog tour, why wait? on November 5, 2011 [http://www.authorkathleenhwheeler.-

com/2011/11/05/carolyn-brent-aging-parents-caregiving-issues-family-relationships/] .