bullying and the special needs child
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BULLYING AND THE SPECIAL NEEDS CHILD. Edward J. Nitkewicz. How to make sure your child is bullied…. If you want your child to be bullied mercilessly, make sure that his green top hat matches his green tie on Easter Sunday. . What is bullying?. - PowerPoint PPT PresentationTRANSCRIPT
BULLYING AND THE SPECIAL NEEDS CHILDEdward J. Nitkewicz
If you want your child to be bullied mercilessly, make sure that his green top hat matches his green tie on Easter Sunday.
How to make sure your child is bullied…..
What is bullying? Bullying is aggressive behavior that is
intentional and that involves an imbalance of power or strength.
Typically it is repeated over time.
A child who is being bullied has a hard time defending himself or herself.
U.S. Department of Health and Human Services
Prevalence of bullying Studies show that
between 15-25 % of students are bullied.
Studies show that 15-20% of students report that they have bullied others
Half of the victims report that the bullying lasted 6 months or longer.
Bullying has been identified as a major concern by schools across the country.
More statistics Boys are more likely
to bully others
Verbal bullying is the most frequent form of bullying
Boys are more likely to be physically bullied
Girls are more likely to be targets of rumor and sexual comments
Speculation about sexual orientation or behavior is most common form
And because our plates are not already piled high enough…
…studies confirm that children with disabilities or special needs are at a higher risk of being bullied than other students.
THE IMPACT OF BULLYING Causes child to be depressed, lonely,
anxious and fearful Interferes with student’s engagement
and learning opportunity Lowers self esteem Suicide
We need to change the way others see, hear and know our children.
THERE IS AN ANSWER
Meet the Bully The Good News is
that he doesn’t look like this
The Bad News is that he doesn’t look like this
He is likely to be someone’s beautiful boy or girl
Traits of bully Impulsive Hot-headed Dominant Easily frustrated Difficulty with
rules View violence in a
positive way (“eye for an eye”)
Tend to be physically stronger
But, smaller children can seek out bigger and weaker children
Angry
Family risk factors for bullying
Children who bully are more likely to live in homes where there is: Lack of parental warmth and involvement Lack of supervision Lack of behavioral limits and boundaries Harsh physical discipline Model for bullying behavior
U.S. Dept. of Health and Human Services
Historical perspective
Climbing the social ladder included witty put downs of the disabled The “Tart Cart” The “Blueberry” The “Horticulture Club” The “Room in the
Corner” “Julie”
Disability Awareness Resume building
community service College applications
requiring students to demonstrate social awareness
Fraternal approach to the disabled
Before IDEA Today
What can parents do?
Okay, what can we REALLY do?
Prevention through awareness and education
Intervention
Support
The Ambassador Program A disability awareness program at
South Huntington UFSD
History
Purpose
Impact.
“Hey, your Mr. Nitkewicz aren’t you?”
Emphasis on demystification of our children and their disabilities
Create a bond between the special needs and typical communities
EMPATHY The key to understanding the special
needs person The key to overcoming bullying Fostering empathy in our community,
our schools, among our fellow parents and our childrens’ classmates is crucial
“Mr. Nitkewicz, I am not for special education.”
Fear and ignorance
George Kunzler De-mystification Familiarize others
regarding the unique qualities our children possess
Intervention or helping our children deal with bullying
Role playing
Immediate generalization
Social Stories
Video modeling
Communication with your school district
Be a firm but reasonable presence
Be clear that if your child is bullied, you EXPECT a resolution
The remedy cannot further ostracize your child
Not an easy task, but one that requires more than a “kids will be kids” approach
Review your district’s anti-bullying policy in the student code
Let the district propose the resolution
Cyber bullying Our children are highly susceptible to
cyber-bullies Easier to bully, to tease, to defame, to
torment another when you do not have to “look them in the eye”
You need to know the internet sites and web habits of your children
How to prevent cyber bullying Know your school’s cyber
bully policies Know the relationship
between the school and law enforcement
Look for signs your child is suffering from nightmares, avoiding school, sadness or disinterest
Establish a dialogue with your child regarding computer and internet use and cyber bullying
Keep computers in common areas of house
Equip computers with Print Screen capacity
Impress that personal information should not be exchanged or posted
Know your internet service providers complaint procedure
Communicate with your child
Know your child’s cyber friends and lists
When cyber bullying occurs Use social stories to explain what they are
experiencing Encourage your child to confide in you
without repercussion Impress upon them the need to reply in
only one way: please stop Report the incident to your school district
AND your special education director
Suicide prevention Children with special needs are also
susceptible to suicidal thoughts Monitor their moods and avoidance
behaviors Non-judgmental and open communication
in whatever form it takes Key to earning their trust Our children are socially impaired and
must feel safe confiding in us
Response of Suffolk County, Inc.
Response of Suffolk County is a nationally accredited, community-based suicide prevention agency that provides a free, confidential and anonymous hotline available to anyone who needs suicide counseling.
Response’s services also include an online crisis counseling program, a community education program, as well as a current computerized information and referral database connecting callers with the most appropriate community resources to meet their needs.
Call 24 hours a day. Seven days per week. 631.751.7500
Hear 2 Help online crisis counseling
Response offers online crisis counseling for individuals who would rather chat than talk.
During after-school hours - Monday thru Friday from 5 pm to 11 pm – students can speak with a crisis counselor online.
Response counselors are not therapists, but professionally trained and supervised counselors who will talk with callers about any issues of crisis including peer pressure, relationship difficulties, thoughts of suicide, and bullying.
How do I protect my child?
Bullying prevention for the parent of a special needs child Open and respectful
dialogue with your child
Awareness of mood swings or changes in communication
Open and respectful dialogue with the education team
Community awareness
Peer education
Providing your child with a method of report and disclosure through discussion or social stories
Vigilance with regard to your child’s use of the Internet
Edward J. NitkewiczParent, Advocate and Attorney at Law
The Sanders Law Firm100 Herricks Road
Mineola, New York 11501516.741.5252