Comfort Romance Series

Dating Silence

By

Author: Patricia RedmanCopyright 2015 by Patricia Redman

This work of fiction has places, incidents, names, characters thatare from the author’s imagination and not to be construed as real. Any persons resembling a live or dead, locality, organizations or events is actually all coincidental.

The rights are all reserved. This book can not be used, part or reproduced in any form or manner without written permission ofthe Author.

Cover Design by Isaac KimEditor: Eva Leo

Synopsis

It is also important to choose to dwell on the good things rather than focus your attention on the negative ones, particularly at times when the relationship seems like on the verge of breaking apart. In the event of huge conflicts, take time to think if the love's worthy to fight for or if it's already time to let go. Since you have already invested time and effort and emotions into it, don't you think the relationships worth saving at first? Anyway, you'll know if you got no more reason to continue with the relationship and to just call it quits between you and your partner. The bottom line here is that always choose to continue loving and understanding the person if you still have enough reasons to do so.

Table Of Content

Synopsis

Chapter One: Why stay?

Chapter Two: Depressed advice

Chapter Three: How I got here

Chapter Four: Stress of the broken hearted

Chapter Five: To talk

Chapter Six: Live in silence

Chapter Seven: Lost in love

Chapter Eight: On the way back

Chapter One: Why stay?

My head was hurting so much, I could not think clearly.What were good reasons for staying? This was the question that was pounding on my head. I, Jack the lad, asked Todd my best friend and best mate.

“Look Jack! When you got married,” Todd’s voice was normallycalm and quiet but today it seemed to be above the pounding drum in my head and I heard Todd’s voice in full volume. “I knew this would happen. I told you so, don’t you remember!”Todd loved doing this. Reminding me of all the ideas, all the times he had told me so, along with all the other things he had done for me. He continued “I pre-saw that it would require a great deal of effort, might even be a push up hill on your part to keep this, your marriage on a balanced even level, keeping it interesting and loving”. He stopped for breath.“I knew you hadn't considered the changes being married would bring. Jack you are an individual. A man’s man.” He paused for a five second break and finished with “I think you should remember all my advice I’ve ever given you”

The look on his face made it look as though he'd just planted theflag on the moon. That smile on his face backed it up with an I told you so.

Now he had me thinking of all the little squabbles I’d had with Nina. She would shout “Can’t go out with those friends, for a night.” What was wrong with my friends?

Todd added to his unfinished speech “Can’t go to the odd fishing trip etc. Next thing you know can’t go out period.”

“Look Todd, I hear you! I told you once before and I’ll tell you again. I’ve got this one, there is one approach to getting back into love mode with Nina. I need to listen to her. It’s all about understanding what she wants.”

Todd cut in this time and his voice was even louder than before. “The stress is on both of you and neither of you, are happy with the situation!” Silence rang in the air as it carried itself on each of his words across the room to the corners of the room.

“Yes, you both love each other and yet you’re not really with her, are you? If it’s so simple, why can’t you even talk to her?”

Of course, he was right. I was dating silence.

“Why don’t you take a week out, and spend it together” Todd nodded at his own advice. “Take it from me, I‘ve had my fair share of marriage problems. Just make sure that you take at leastone night a week or one day in the month, to spend together. That will help keep your love going solid until the end of time.”

I sighed and shrugged my shoulders. I suppose it's worth a try. Itmade sense and if it works I’ll be healthy and happy with Nina.

Chapter Two: Depressed advice

“Jack at least you're trying.” Todd stated. He looked at me for a moment, put his hands up in the air then lowered them slowly accompanied with a few growls and sighs. Then, Todd the drama king started another speech “When you’ve found your genuine romance you’ll know. When you have, you said it” his voice slowing down to help me see the point he was making. “Found somebody you believed was the most wonderful person on the planet, who could do no wrong, until she did” now his eyes locked with mine.

“This was the one for me you said when you spent every weekend dating and spending time with Nina. She was the one you could converse with and in whom you could express your love. She is the one, the one you will spend the rest of your life with you said” I thought I saw a glimmer of jealousy. “Don’t forget I’ve been there for you Jack.” Todd had to add on.

Todd I know you have, you have. I’m aware you’ve heard the story, your story over a hundred times I confirmed his knowledge.

“I could write the book for you, I’m a good listener and I give sound advice” Todd added with a smile. “I know how it all began with that first date, where you found out how much you appreciated each others company. You both had such a great amount in common, when you went to that paint-ball weekend” Todd’s words began to sound like whispers of bla, bla, bla...

Chapter Three: How I got here

My memory fell backwards, I was now dressed for combat. “Goddamnit,” I muttered as the mortar exploded close to my position, sending dirt and shrapnel flying high in the air. I quickly patted myself down, making sure I was in one piece. Seeing I was alright, I stood and brought my paint-ball rifle up to my shoulder and fired off a quick burst of shots before dropping back down to the ground for cover. I tried to see as much as I could when I was up there.

The plan was easy, but everyone was playing to win. The office company was divided into departments and staff members put in

opposition. I thought I saw the mortar emplacement and where most of the guards were, but I was not sure. Luckily we were still in range to hit our targets; but unluckily we could still be hitby the guards or the group headed by the I.T systems department, Michael. “Jill,” I called out to my left, referring to my team mate by the code-names assigned to us for the mission. “Six hostiles on our path. No! Maybe seven, or so at least that’s what I could see.”

Jill looked to me and nodded. She got to her knees behind the rock she was hiding behind. Three seconds passed. Jill then stood and fired from her paint-ball rifle, followed by me. “Go! Go! Go!” I shouted. Jill turned and ran up the steep hill they were trekking about twenty feet before positioning herself behind another rock. “Jack, let’s move!” Jill ordered before she laid covering fire from her paint-ball rifle. I shot off another two rounds before I heard the horrible sound of an empty chamber. I lowered my weapon and scooped up the bag I placed at my feet. I slung it across my back and started to run. As I moved, I exchanged the magazine in my rifle with a new one. I chambered a round from the new magazine.

I ran past Jill and kept running another twenty yards before

kneeling down and sending rounds back at the pursuers. I did not even need to call out to Jill. She just picked herself up and immediately charged up the hill, just like she was trained to do; just like I was also trained to do. “Take the bag!” I ordered. I stopped firing to undo and sling the bag. “Get it up and running!” Jill quickly adjusted her trajectory to swing close to me. She snatched up the bag and kept running up the rocky hillside. As I continued to fire, watching the pursuers fall as we hit them. “Changing!” I yelled out as I swapped magazines again. “Keep them back,” Jill said as she knelt down and unzipped the bag.

I looked back for a split second, making sure Jill was doing alright. She pulled out of the large bag a breaching charge. Jill wiped at the ground, finally pulling off the fake grass, revealing a large metal plate. Then I continued firing at the advancing enemies as Jill set the charge. “Breaching!” Jill shouted, diving down onto the ground away from the metal plate. She depressed the trigger. Not a second later, there was a tremendous boom from where the charge was placed. It even gave me a small jump at the shockwave, but I still shot at the guard’s team. Jill then pulled out two paint grenades. She pulled the pins and dropped them in the hole. The ground shook again as the target was destroyed by the shrapnel or large blobs of paint from the dropped grenades.

“Zero, this is Jill,” she said into a radio she carried on her vest. “The pail has been fetched. I repeat the pail has been fetched.” I smiled as I heard her over the radio. Everything was going to be alright. We destroyed the pail of water—or what the codename referred to. When they were briefed, Jack and Jill were told this was the site of an old town and up on the hill was a well.

After being abandoned for centuries, a rising dictator came in and set up base in the area. They were led to believe that under the old well was vital Intel the dictator had procured on the black market that needed to be destroyed. “Jack let’s move!” Jill shouted down to me. She started to fire atthe ever-closer guards. I then stood up and dashed up the hill. “We need to get to the extraction point.” “We can slide down the hill,” she replied, “cut through the fenceand hike through the forest. Double back to the rendezvous and we’ll be clear.” “On three, you start moving.” I turned back to the guards.

I then counted to three. Once I hit three I stood up and yelled numerous curses at them as I sent multiple rounds down at the pursuers. Jill secured her paint-ball rifle, making sure it would not get lostas she slid down the hill.

I FELL!

Jill watched as I, hit the ground, the highlighted green blood oozing from the top of my head where a bullet of green paint hit.She told me later “that she felt as if she was stuck in time for a second when I fell”. I began to slide down the backside of the hill. She reached out tograb my leg but she missed. Jill fired the rest of her magazine at the guards before she began to tumble after me. She tried to move as fast as she could. Luckily she was able to travel down the slope faster than me. She turned around and caught me. We continued to roll together down the hill until we hit the bottom of the slope and the metal fence. Jill then shook away the disorientation before checking if I was ok.

Thankfully the round of green only grazed the top of my head, but it was still a wound, that hit me hard and the fall had sent meinto unconsciousness state of off balance. Within my slow motion Jill seemed to have moved fast. She yanked free the wire cutters from her vest and snipped away a hole at the fence. She wiggled her way through before pulling me with her. She hefted me up onto her back. Jill turned back, watching the smoke rise from the old well in the hill and the heads of the guards just beginning to clear the ridge. With as much strength as she could muster, she began to run to the rendezvous point with me on her back. “She was so strong” Itold her but she just dismissed it. Saying “I only hoped we couldmake it in time.”

Chapter Four: Stress of the broken hearted

Our hanging out time had started from when we were young college men. We had set it up for our enjoyment, a little aside time, to do what we wanted to do. Our time out to eat as much as we could, go to some car shows and go to football games together. It was on one of these trips that Todd let me know whatwas really going on, behind the screen. Because he had been playing the role of everything things cool man, when it was far from it.

I noticed he was behaving somewhat different. This new Todd was getting out of hand. In fact this extraness took the form of unbearable. He kept saying “So many women, such little time” over and over it became a chant I didn’t need to hear.

When I made a comment about this quote, he snapped “I’m going to keep my distance from my ex. Physically and mentally. I’ve removed her from every social network she uses. In fact anything that can be used for communicate with her.”

I wished I had not hit this sore point.

“I have to make a complete break from her. I’m not keeping contact with her in form or fashion. It will only prolong this painful break-up” He seemed very hurt.

“What's happening? Todd this isn't you.” I asked.

“I’m grieving for her. She's still there, yet out reach.” he answered while looking down at the ground. “Why did Xandria-”- I dared and used her name.“Is she alright? Has she…?” My voice now sounding softer, to avoid causing any more pain.

Todd shouted “No! But it feels real, not at all like grieving over the passing of a friend or family member but I’m hurting for her because she’s off of the compass. She’s taken herself off of my compass. This is the reason why I’m, in so much emotional strain”. A tear ran down, which was quickly wiped away. Caughtin its escape. “With death at least you know you can't see that person any longer and you can acknowledge that. Yet a separation is harder because a little piece of you still wants to see them again.” He sighed. “But I need to acknowledge that’s she’s gone for good and I’ll have to get past this.” Todd said while breaking down.

This is an unknown state, for me I’d never seen him like this before in my life. The guy behind that mask was one trying to get over a broken heart. The man, who would offer us, all his brilliant advice regarding women matters. I found out later that many people like Todd found getting over a broken heart to be one of the most difficult and stressful thingsthey could ever deal with. It puts immense pressure on them andcan cause chaos in daily life if they let it. Todd at times was like this, when I think about it. One minute happy, full of play and jokes, the next down in the hole.

The playing of two roles in his own life drama, with act one ending in tears, this showed me what a good actor he had become. He’d have to show extreme maturity and self control while at work but conquering his emotions all the while he was learning how to get over a broken heart and survive it, with sanity intact. I had no idea what he had been coping with it.

I feel as if I became his councillor, therapist and his rock. He wrote lyrics down for songs, so many all about or with the same theme of being broken hearted.

I needed help listening to Todd, Not you again became the song I could relate with most maybe because it became trapped in mymind.

He started carrying his guitar around as if he felt the need to be astreet musician. Singing his woes away. He was trying to find a tune that fixed with his unbearable pain. Todd’s voice began to get on my nerves as he repeated the words over and over and over again and again and again.

He began to sing again, eventually his voice improved around the hundredth hour.

Don't Rush It! Seemed to be another favour one or come to thinkof it, it was one of his first songs I heard on a frequent manner. I knew it so well I could sing along, now.

Don't Rush It! Give yourself time to get over this situation, Allow yourself time off work or take a vacation. Don't burden yourself with other stresses, When, you already have as much as you can stand. Don't Rush It! Don't Rush It! Don't Rush It!Don't rush the healing process as May you run the risk of losing control of your emotions. Take it slow and keep control.

Don’t Rush it! But this said; do not dwell on your loss.Change is hard for us all sometimes but it is character building. Don't try and change the past but make plans for the future. You don't know what's around the corner and a new happiness can come along at any time.Don't Rush It! Don't Rush It! Don't Rush It!Don't rush the healing process as May you run the risk of losing control of your emotions. Take it slow and keep control.

I witnessed another Todd after Xandria and he broke up.

Then I was thinking to myself please! Rush It., get a plan but will he? He will, but in a way he had a plan, but he had know idea and that was not the time to tell him what to do. I advised him to Get Rid of Physical Reminders he really did notneed any at that time. You need to remove all evidence of your relationship. Your ex has possessions at your home, box them up, tape them up and make sure they, get out. Still better give it, blaze it, eBay it all these strategies can work fine if you don’t get too emotional.

Ok! Verify you have uprooted some. Ok, not all recently but things that remind you of your ex…..I felt so tempered to say her name Xandria every time I said ex. Any way! Anything! That reminds you of that relationship.

Surround yourself with some new love Todd. I can see this is…, unfair portion of the pain you are feeling. Is it because you’re getting more than your fare share of rejection now……..? You have a broken heart, but is it really the feeling of not being adored? I dared to utter.

Todd clearly, feeling disliked was not beneficial for anyone. So Isaid it again indifferent words. To deal with this you need to surround yourself with people that love you. Friends, family even work colleagues that you know care about you. They can become your emotional crutch and use them to their fullest. I wanted to add not just me but I kept that bit of information to myself. They won't mind if they love you, spend time with them as much as possible and avoid negative people. If you find yourselfwith someone that is moaning or being negative, make your excuses and leave the area as soon as possible. I made my excuses and told him, I had to go meet Nina.

Chapter Five: To Talk

Keeping in my mind, the idea of getting married, I asked Nina atthe end of the summer holiday. I had to plan, and make a perfectmoment perfect so I invited her out every evening for a month. We went to the theatre, night clubs and sometimes during the day I took her on big shopping trips so I could lavish her with designer clothing making me sweet in her eyes. So after we had dinner on the river trip I had booked, then and only then would I carry out the climax. I had planed it all out, from the violin players with roses, a small firework display and the cake with the diamond ring as the cherry on top making my prefect moment perfect. We’d had a lovely meal several glasses of wine and I ordered a bottle of MOET imperial & Chandon Cassock Rolpal Brut champagne to round off the night so I got down on both knees when, I pointed out the cake she should take, and asked her if she'd please marry me and fortunately she said Yes!

I was in heaven! To be loved and to love, is the sweetest feeling in your life. Love made me feel crazy and when I get lost in lovewith Nina, I knew that life was worth living because I have somebody who adores me. I heard the voice I knew before birth chanting at me “That’s why before getting married you’ll need to know if she is the one…” My mother had told me “It‘s important know if it is for love or does she just want you to buy her items, earthly things because she’s materialistic, a gold digger not good enough for my boy. Believe you me; if you get married not because of love, then your marriage will most likely not last.” Mother would say nodding her head with her black hair sitting on her shoulders.

“That’s why some people are married for twenty odd years only to hear their partner say I don't love you anymore, she would saylooking down at her hand.“Such surprises can be avoided in marriage; no man or woman would want to be told that.” She seemed to hold a secret I had not met yet. “I don’t wish my boy to ever know the hurt caused when the love that he used to share his life with, is all over with a sudden...” she would hold my hand tighter than ever then continue to speak the last words in her sentence “an abrupt end. It can be so devastating and traumatizing, so son when you get married remember what you need to do, so as to avoid such surprises as not being loved by anymore. Learn this, it’s the best tip I can give you in order to help you to sustain your married life until death do you part. Vows to each other are your way of telling the world, we swear at this altar or that day of the wedding: We marry out of love.” I could always hear bells ringing when she stopped talking.

So, then why did we or I seem to be spending such a great deal of cash on our wedding? I had to answer myself, it was not necessary to have a decent and happy marriage? Cash is exceptionally helpful to have all the things you would like in life, however is not expected to have a sound and happy marriedlife. What was I thinking? Accepting that the other person or I had committed a mistake? Could the facts be faced but maybe that involves, moving on completely in different directions. Was she being materialistic, for materialistic sake? Did we really need all these items? Was I getting married to a materialistic person? Why all these questions? I told my self keeping a grudge and merely forgiving for the sake of avoiding but prolonging the issue will do you, no good.

If you want a peaceful, lasting, and constantly harmonious relationship, always be willing to forgive and forget. I heard my own voice inside my head. You wouldn't want your partner to remember your past mistakes, would you? Therefore, show her that you can still love her despite her imperfections.

Nina would say “It all relies on upon what you look like at it, what you wear and how many guests we can invite ha! Ha she had to end it with that giggle of hers that sounded sweet then, but now like a witch.

1…2…3…Forgive, forget, and move on like nothing happened.

Respect, for each other, dating for married individuals and cooperating to get the things you need are crucial.Forgive, forget, and move on like nothing happened.

I wanted to maintain the marriage; well I’m not sure until when!Till Death Do You Part.? Marriage is a strong bond between twopeople and at times maintaining it till death do you part-as they normally say. When they tie the knot is a bit challenging, not all marriages last for that long. Divorce cases have risen and most people are opting to staying out of marriage after testing it for some years and others months.I repeated to myself, that love can also make people go crazy.

I dare say honest and faithful couples always respect and trust each other and the chances of their marriage lasting for ages is better, but is that always right. So if you want to sustain your marriage for life, then to be open and avoid any of your side plans in your marriage. That would mean being true to your partner and always do everything together, share ideas and be friends aside from lovers.

Now, I could understand how and why keeping communicationsopen at all times was so important. Even, when you don’t want too, let me rephrase that! Even, when. I don’t want too. Talking has got to be a big key factor in any marriage, for examples if you have any burning issues do not hesitate in letting your partner (me) know about it, I said to Nina “Please talk to me. I don't want to be dating silence.”

Chapter Six: Live in silence

Up until now I used to think a lot could be solved by a simple conversation because being in love is one of the most precious things that someone can go through in this life. I kept telling myself this, because I really believed it. It is unfortunately, also the thing that can bring the most pain. Pain that sometimes is unbearable and many people choose to end the pain either by drowning their sorrows in alcohol or going out with different people with the hope that they will eventually forget all that hurt. Some people, when things go wrong in their relationships, just choose to carry on without never looking back at any probable solution to fix the in-hand problem. Nina was in that camp. She shut out feelings get over it! Man up, You will get over it by yourself, Leave it alone! Were a few of her quotes I would hear often? If I came to her speak about something that was bothering me. I told her if we go to a consultant, and we talk to them… before I had finished the sentence I got my answer. “No!!! I need them not! I don’t need conversation because really don’t need you.” Then she carried on making her sandwich with her new boyfriend, Mr Silence, I hated him.

He made me change.

I spoke to Nina, and I found my self so far on the outside that I started speaking as if she was the third party. I became very formal; I think it just made it easier for me to speak from a safer place. So, I began keeping a small journal of my feeling, notes and plans. June 11th

Talking to your significant other half can really help in mending things as well as avoiding all the torture that you have to go through with just keeping things to yourself. But, Nina was it seems as if she is locking all that emotion inside and letting it consume her. It is very inappropriate health wise and psychologically.

June 12th

The silence was the question?

June 13th

Sometimes, we tend to blow things out of proportion by not talking about it and asking what is wrong. We just conclude for ourselves and inadvertently move on without talking, so each of us is with silence. We’re not talking so how on earth can I get my complaints out to Nina; the person she won’t even hear is my side of the story.

June 14th

The silence was the answer?

June 15th

The silence again was the question?

June 16th

Nina did not come home last night.

June 17th

The silence was the question?

June 18th

The silence was the question? But what is the question?

June 19th

I looked at the newspaper this morning and the head line was getting the other person's perspective on things. I knew this was a sign to help workout what to do. It has an article on something I require.

It's forever advisable to talk in order to understand what is goingon and to get the other person's perspective on things.If only she would open her mouth.

The first step is to swallow ones pride and approach the other person…

In my mind I saw the word NINA in large print.

…our egos are always like, to think that "he/she did the wrong, so let him/her be the first to talk to me". But by creating this negative energy around ourselves we find that we can't or couldn’t approach unless approached is really unnecessary no matter how reflexive it comes to us. Just be humble.This can be so hard to do but since you want answers instead of hurting I’ll have to try it. The second and most important step is to keep your cool during the whole talking process. Don't let

your emotions get the better of you and you become abusive or violent.

Jack myself and I had come to terms with this stuff. Well really Ihave concluded by myself and approach the idea that the other party… Nina what was her side of the story?

June 20th

Silence

June 21st

Silence

Don't shut her out, Also, if she comes to talk to me.

June 22nd

Still waiting

June 23rd

The silence was the question?

Silence was the question?

June 24th

The silence was the pain?

June 25th

Questions, living in my head?

June 26th

I think my is going to blow!

June 27th

A little help is all I need.

June 28th

Plan B

Just listen to what she has to say and respond where necessary with the right words. Don't be too judgemental as this will put her the other party in a defensive mood and the talking will turn into an argument and you can't achieve anything with that. Find also a neutral location for this talk as you want a neutral mood to the conversation where emotions can get the better of you andyou end up doing other things that are totally opposite of what you had intended.

June 29th

Don't draw conclusions by yourself without first getting her the other person's side of the story. June 30th

She’s carrying on like nothing has happened. So I’m going to get my speech ready.

Ok, Nina you want to carry on with this Mr. Silence, sadness will eventually catch up with you and you will hurt more than you had imagined in the first place. So, be humble and talk to me.

It costs nothing and it will save you a lot of time, bother and hurting for something that had never been wrong in the first place.

Chapter Seven: Lost in love

I could not understand what on earth was going on. Nina had changed so much. We had always said expressing yourself above everything else was crucial. Expressing your feelings is the best way, to show our love to the world and to each other. This love I have has been burning a new hole inside me. I had to start facing facts, the only way to know if our love was still on fire or now smoke. Was she still in love or did she have feelings inside for anyone apart from Mr Silence. I’ll have to find away to really talk to herheart. She will get complete once she has to tell me or someone about her feelings and the moment she does then I’ll tell her the feeling is mutual. Unless, it goes all pear shape? Which, I really hope it does not. That’s the last thing I need is for it to go crazy and start drowning in the unwanted, the unloved and in shame followed by pity. I reassured myself you will only to talk. Then share andmake love and in no time you will be lost in love again.The next afternoon I came back home early and saw Nina’s large car pulling out of the driveway?When I entered the hallway I saw that letters, papers and files were all over the floor as if she had been looking for something. Handling her life and emotions without me seems so difficult forher, looking at the mess. I also think it was to do with her childhood, baring in mind the lack of information and details I was never given.

I knew Nina is the oldest of seven sisters that in-it self may havebeen a problem or two. Her parents were very young and had very little help from their families. Their father was left to bring them up most of the time as their mother had many male friends which took her attention. This had made varies problems, plus having to deal with not always nice experiences from men with different idea’s and ways. Then her bad behaviour would arrive hand in hand with a good friend called Mr Silence. About all her childhood she would only say to me was “we love each other and protect each other.”

Getting her back now and to be lost in love with me again, I’d have to show how much I cared for her. To prove this point I knew would take it slowly. Real slow because when you are madly in love with someone all you want to do, is just be by her or his side, just to show that love which is burning inside you.

Butterflies in your stomach and I wanted to show it, to the whole world. They do say love is blind and the moment you get lost in love it becomes more and more blinding so that all you want is never to let that feeling pass by. Maybe she’s in a dream state, or in the nightmare of cross roads that have signs marked with, in and out of love. But if you have never been for a deep swim in it you could be wondering if this is really true love. Questions like where’s the exist and do people really get lost in it?

Yes, they do, but how? Well I was really working up a storm.

I had to stop and say out loud so could hear myself and what I trying to say. The best tips that you need to this problem and start with that might help you get lost in the real memories you have of love and experience the best feeling ever.

I remembered my CD collection some of the best love songs of the times past and present.

Above everything expressing your feelings is the best way to show that love which has been burning inside you can come out.I started to sort the pile of music. The only way to know if, that love she has is still inside and wasreal would be to sing to her heart. I was having a bit of a Todd moment but I am desperate.

There is no way in hell that you can lose her or let her go. Impossible love! I am sounding a bit like a stalker. That’s not me I know better its two people equally and squarely. Expectingnot to maintain it, then you are only cheating on yourself. Love is only supposed to be directed to one heart and one soul. Therefore if I want to give the best feelings out and get to feel good factor back or I just want to be loved back then, I’ll direct all love to Nina.

Love is so hard to work out it is doing my head in! To one partner it is, sharing love between two people and from the otherperson it is reducing the strength of that love. Instead of it being deep, it will be shallow of which you won't feel so much affection plus they may end up spending not nearly enough time with their partner. The best way to let the love grow and expand is having time with your partner, they say. Time is everything, it heals, loves, unity, forgets etc., etc. When I am once more together with Nina all the time, then I will be able to always feel madly in love and I won't want to leave her sight even for a second and that my friend is getting lost in love.It is crystal clear that people still fall in love, like me! I am already head over heels and it’s always the best thing for me when I’m lost in love with Nina.

Even if it does not look like it now! Too the whole world and Todd, because I look like a state of depression, lost and maybe sad but they would too if they were missing out on the sweetest feeling ever.

Chapter Eight: On the way back

Or find other love? Is that what I’ve done?The lights are so bright, I feel really cold but my blood feels likeit’s at boiling point, that’s too hot, is it not? Hot sweat is that possible?My eyes opened slowly blinking more than twice. It was as if I had dust in them. My whole body ached no I felt as if I had beenhit by a truck. My head felt like it was being used as a drum in a major rock concert and the throbbing applause of the fans that stood over me come in to view. Dizzy feeling, which was the best word dizzy, dizzy. Where was I? What was happening to me? What had happened to me?

All I could hear was people shouting and one softer voice that stood out in solo. Hello, hello “Hi doctor. His name is Jack, Jack Toddington he’s in my department at our work. I’m Michael head of the I.T systems department, is he all right, his head looks a mess?”

“Hello Jack, hello! How are you feeling?

“The surest approach to recognize love from fascination is to give your relationship the test of time.

“Why is he speaking in such a rumbled way?” asks Michael, with a look of some concern on his face.

“Looks…like …. anyway, while you are sitting tight for time to tell, there are things you can look for.”

“Is he alright? What’s he going on about?”

“It’s alright Jack, you just hit your head when you landed. You were in state of unconsciousness when I arrived, we’ll take you to the hospital to check you over and make sure everything is working fine. Tell me does this hurt you if I press here? “

“Look he’s starting to close his eyes again… Keeping talking Jack we don’t need you asleep yet! Stay with us Jack…what were you saying about love?”

“Will you be open and fair with your accomplice without apprehension of dismissal? Is it… is ….. True is it. That what we want too you are ready to act naturally? Then again do you conceal your shortcomings or attempt just to show your qualities?”“Get the team over here!”“When you really love one, two, three here’s another, you don't worry about awing your beloved. Maybe, you are more intrigued by serving your lover and you know that is less demanding to do when you are fair.” Michael have you got some blankets to keep him warm?He shouts for blankets from the others side round. “Here you areDr. Nina, will he be alright?” “Yes, I think he will, he’s in good hands now, mine!”