BOARD OF DIRECTORS

Jeff Negrete, President Robert Levine ADVISORY BOARD MEMBERS

John Frye Jr., 1st V.P. Dennis Major Lynn Baker

A. Thomas Ferdinandi, Jr., 2nd V.P. Carol Maul Elizabeth Fillpot

Robin Duke, Secretary Joel Murillo Anthony Folcarelli

Patrick Bradley, Treasurer Tim O’Neill John “Nip” Gallagher

Hank Bennett Ann Owen Linda Moradian

Tom Cleary John Pardini Tim Nibler

Sister Mary Clennon Melvin Renge Sister Ruth Marie Nickerson, CSCD

James Connelly Mayo Ryan D. Harvey Oh

Mark Delton Mayo P. Ryan Robert H. Scribner

JIm Devaney Victor Salazar Marvin Smith

Charles Farnsworth Rob Venenski Jane Worsley

Jim Kinter

Mike McGarvin, Founder Cruz Avila, Executive Director

I was sitting in our dayroom, waiting forlunch to start. The homeless had been di-rected outside to queue up for the meal, andmost of our security guards were busy withthe lines. I was pretty much on my own.

Suddenly, someone came through thedoor. He was big, and very rough-looking.His eyes darted back and forth in a suspi-cious, predatory manner. I thought to myself,

“Uh-oh.”I’d seen that look many times before, when someone was about

to explode in rage. Now, as old as I am, I’ve always prided myselfin thinking that I have at least one kill left in me if anyone might tryto attack me. That confidence has faded since last summer’s heartsurgery, so I was a little apprehensive about this guy, and not surewhat I would do if things went south.

Then he saw me, and made tracks over to where I was sitting. Iprepared myself for the worst.

“Hey,” he said, “Where do I get diapers around here?”I blinked. OK, maybe I read him wrong. Still, I didn’t want to

set him off by telling him that the Women’s Center was closed forlunch, as was the Poverello Contact Office, which meant he wouldhave to wait at least an hour to talk to someone about diapers.

However, there was nothing left to do but explain that bothplaces were closed until after the meal. I could see the frustration

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rising in his face. I then remembered something in my pocket. Ireached in and pulled out a grocery store gift card.

“Here,” I said. “You look like you’re new around here, and Iknow that when the kid needsdiapers, he needs them now, notlater. I don’t want to make youwait. That card should get youenough diapers to last for awhile.”

I handed him the card. Helooked at it almost uncomprehend-ing for a few seconds, then lookedup at me. His eyes were starting towater. Before I knew what washappening, this big lug of a guywrapped his arms around me andhugged me, thanking me over andover again.

So, I guess I misjudged him. What I interpreted as the furtiveglances of an opportunistic, angry thug was probably just the ner-vous scrutiny of confusion and fear of the unknown. I was glad Icould help him and that he was so grateful, but I was a littleashamed that I had so wrongly mistaken his intentions.

I had another surprise recently. A newcomer showed up oneday, a man in his fifties. I met him outside and told him about thePoverello meals. I didn’t smell alcohol on him, but he neverthelessseemed kind of drifty and muddled. What I didn’t know was that hehadn’t eaten in several days.

He got in line. As he entered the dining room, all of a suddenhe passed out. Nearby at a table was a woman who is well-knownto us. She is generally loud, rude and hard to deal with. She sawwhat happened, and out of the blue, said, “Oh, one of God’s childrenpassed out,” and brought her food tray over to the man.

I never would have expected this gal to share her food withanyone. She’s usually really obnoxious. Her act of spontaneouscompassion showed me a completely different side of her. Onceagain, my preconceived notions about someone were proven to beoff-base.

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I guess we’re never too old to learn. As many times as I’vebeen surprised at Poverello, I’m still surprised when I’m surprised.People can be predictable—that is, until they’re unpredictable. If Ican expect something negative from an individual, and he or shedoes something positive, then maybe I ought to be expecting moregood things.

Cynicism is often a protective shell that we build up after manydisappointments. Lord knows that I’ve had my share of disappoint-ments, here at Poverello and in life, but that doesn’t give me theright to think the worst of someone. My prayer isthat all of us can learn to cut people a little slack,both because they need it and because they may notneatly fit into the less-than-positive categories weassign to them.

Memorial Day and the Table

The Missing Man Table or Fallen Comrade Table is a symboliccommemoration of military men and women who are missing inaction, are prisoners of war, or have died in service to our country.The Table is found in many U.S. military dining areas, both on landand ships.

Poverello House has had a Missing Man Table in our dayroomfor well over a decade. Founder Mike McGarvin, a veteran him-self, instituted it after years of meeting homeless veterans who cameto Poverello for help.

The hit movie American Sniper caused a great deal of contro-versy this year. Whether you are a critic or a fan of the film, onething about it is inescapable: it sent a clear message that warsubjects people to such horror and stress that it derails them emo-tionally. Some are able to regroup and find resources to helpthemselves when they return home; others are not so fortunate.

According to a study by the U.S. Department of Housing andUrban Development (The 2013 Annual Homeless Assessment

Report [AHAR] To Congress), over 12% of all homeless people inthe United States are military veterans. This statistic merits somediscussion.

Twelve percent of the total homeless population of 610,042(according to HUD) is 73,205 people. That seems like a shockinglyhigh number until you consider that there are 22,676,149 veterans inthe U.S., from all wars dating back to World War II, as well asveterans of peacetimes between wars. That homeless numberamounts to a little over 3% of the total veteran population.

Of that three percent, not all are combat veterans. Thus, itwould be an erroneous assumption to conclude that all homelessveterans are on the streets due to war trauma.

This distinction is important. Combat veterans whose liveshave fallen apart because war experiences overwhelmed their

minds and souls need far more intensive careand specialized treatment than men andwomen who have not seen combat.

One common denominator for combatvets is that they returned to families, friendsand social groups that didn’t seem to under-stand their pain. At Poverello, we believethat healing begins with recognition. Inalcoholism and drug addiction treatment, thefirst step is the addict’s acknowledgement ofhis or her problem, no matter what others sayor think. For battle-traumatized people,

sometimes the first step is for others to acknowledge and validatetheir painful experiences, so that they don’t feel so alone and misun-derstood.

At Poverello House, that’s what the Missing Man Table, andour commemoration of Memorial Day, is all about. The table issomething sacred in our dayroom; people know not to disturb it. Inkeeping the table, and in serving a special meal on Memorial Day,we are saying to those vets on the streets, “We recognize yoursacrifice, and the sacrifices of people you know who suffered, werekilled, or are missing. We honor you, and acknowledge that whatyou have done in service to us all is immensely important.”

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Volunteer Profile

If you’re going to have coffee with Robin Duke, you’ll need tobring a few extra napkins, because you’ll be laughing so hard thatyou’ll probably spit out your drink. Robin’s trademark is a rapid-fire, self-deprecating, Henny Youngman-style humor. In a word, sheis hilarious.

She is also one of Poverello’s longest-serving volunteers.Founder Mike McGarvin has always said that you need a sense ofhumor to work here, so maybe that’s why Robin has lasted twenty-six years.

Robin entered our lives in 1989, along with Kathy Hoover, theco-founder of the Amici Del Poverello Guild. A former PoverelloHouse board member who knew Robin asked her to start a support-ive guild to help the organization. Robin and Kathy thought theyshould become acquainted with the place first, so they volunteeredin what was then our clothing warehouse, spending hours organizingthe staggering amount of donated clothing that we had.

After months of serving in the food line and sorting moreclothes than they thought existed in the entire world, Robin andKathy made some phone calls and then set up an informationalmeeting to get people interested in starting a guild. Much to theirsurprise, about forty-five people came to the meeting, and it wasn’tlong before Amici was up and running.

Over the years, Amici has focused on two things: raising fundsfor Poverello House, and providing special events for clients ofPoverello. One of their first activities was a movie night fundraiserin the Tower District. Other fundraisers have included SecondSpace Theater showings, the annual Elvis event, a card party, and ayard sale. This is just a sampling of the many activities taken on bythe Guild during its long tenure of service.

Their other focus, special events for Poverello clients, has alsohad a rich history. There was an “Octoberfest” (minus the beer) forthe men in the drug program, with food, live music and a lot ofrelaxation. Easter and Cinco de Mayo parties for children, moviedays for the homeless, and Christmas parties for homeless families,

Remember, we now take credit card donations. Please seethe enclosed envelope for instructions.

To donate online, visit our website at www.poverellohouse.org

May Wish ListLetter-sized copy paper * Short-sleeved men’s shirts

as well as a holiday party for residents, their families, andPoverello staff have all been the result of the Guild’s work.

Robin pointed out that there are still some of the originalmembers helping the Guild. Mary Hung, Diane Kittredge, Mary AnnLeCompte, and Carol Maul wereeither there at the beginning or havebeen around for so long that it seemslike they were there from the start. Allthese women have donated hundredsof hours to Amici.

Robin has served as a member ofPoverello’s Board of Directors formany years. Her hands-on experiencewith the Guild makes her a valuable resource for our board. Inaddition, she and Kathy Hoover have done some “dynamic duo”projects together, such as upgrading the Poverello dog kennel andbeing “den mothers” for the resident baseball teams, providing themwith drinks and snacks, and showing up to cheer them on.

With sincere emotion, Robin said in conclusion that “Pov hasbeen a very important part of my life. I don’t know if I can ever letit go. The people who work there are incredible. I can’t imaginenot doing something for Pov. I felt since day one a connection there.I still go down and serve. In all the years I’ve been there, I’venever had any homeless person be rude to me, or anything other thangracious and thankful.

“I’m very, very proud of the Guild and the ones who haveworked so hard to keep it going. It’s a wonderful, important organi-zation, full of wonderful people. I feel so privileged to have been apart of it.”

Robin Duke (left) and Kathy Hoover

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