bereavement - platinum health · something or someone you love is taken away. the more significant...

GriefGrief is a natural, yet painful responseto loss. There is no right or wrong wayto grieve, but there are healthy waysto cope with the pain and expressyour emotions in ways that allow youto heal.

You may associate grief with the deathof a loved one, but any loss can causegrief, including the loss of a relationship,your health, your job, or a cherished dream.After a significant loss, you may experience allkinds of difficult and surprising emotions, such asshock, anger, and guilt.

GRIEF AND BEREAVEMENT

Coping with Grief and LossCoping with the loss of someone orsomething you love is one of life’sbiggest challenges. Often, the pain ofloss can feel overwhelming. You mayexperience all kinds of difficult andunexpected emotions, from shock oranger to disbelief, guilt, and profoundsadness. The pain of grief can alsodisrupt your physical health, making it

difficult to sleep, eat, or even thinkstraight. These are normal reactions tosignificant loss. But while there is noright or wrong way to grieve, there arehealthy ways to cope with the pain that,in time, can ease your sadness and helpyou come to terms with your loss, findnew meaning, and move on with yourlife.

MENTAL HEALTH - Grief and Bereavement_Layout 1 2018/07/17 6:17 AM

What is grief?Grief is a natural response to loss. It’s theemotional suffering you feel whensomething or someone you love is takenaway. The more significant the loss, themore intense your grief will be. You mayassociate grieving with the death of aloved one - which is often the cause ofthe most intense type of grief - but anyloss can cause grief, including: • Divorce or relationship breakup.• Loss of health.• Losing a job.• Loss of financial stability.• A miscarriage.• Retirement.• Death of a pet.• Loss of a cherished dream.• A loved one's serious illness.

• Loss of a friendship.• Loss of safety after a trauma.• Selling the family home.

Even subtle losses in life can trigger asense of grief. For example, you mightgrieve after moving away from home,graduating from college, or changing jobs.Whatever your loss, it’s personal to you, sodon’t feel ashamed about how you feel, orbelieve that it’s somehow only appropriateto grieve for certain things. If the person,animal, relationship, or situation wassignificant to you, it’s normal to grieve theloss you’re experiencing. Whatever thecause of your grief, though, there arehealthy ways to deal with the pain andeventually come to terms with your loss.


How to deal with thegrieving processWhile grieving a loss is an inevitable partof life, there are ways to help cope withthe pain, come to terms with your grief,and eventually, find a way to pick up thepieces and move on with your life.

• Acknowledge your pain.• Accept that grief can trigger many

different and unexpected emotions.• Understand that your grieving process

will be unique to you.• Seek out face-to-face support from

people who care about you.• Support yourself emotionally by taking

care of yourself physically.• Recognise the difference between

grief and depression.

The grieving processGrieving is a highly individualexperience; there’s no right or wrongway to grieve. How you grieve dependson many factors, including yourpersonality and coping style, your lifeexperience, your faith, and howsignificant the loss was to you.

Inevitably, the grieving process takestime. Healing happens gradually; it can’tbe forced or hurried - and there is no“normal” timetable for grieving. Somepeople start to feel better in weeks ormonths. For others, the grieving processis measured in years. Whatever yourgrief experience, it’s important to bepatient with yourself and allow theprocess to naturally unfold.


Symptoms of griefWhile loss affects people in differentways, many of us experience thefollowing symptoms when we’regrieving. Just remember that almostanything that you experience in theearly stages of grief is normal -including feeling like you’re goingcrazy, feeling like you’re in a baddream, or questioning your religiousor spiritual beliefs.

The five stages of griefDenial: “This can’t be happening to me.”Anger: “Why is this happening? Who is toblame?”Bargaining: “Make this not happen, andin return I will ____.” Depression: “I’m too sad to doanything.”Acceptance: “I’m at peace with whathappened.”

If you are experiencing any of theseemotions following a loss, it may help toknow that your reaction is normal and thatyou’ll heal in time. However, not everyonewho grieves goes through all of thesestages - and that’s okay. Contrary topopular belief, you do not have to gothrough each stage in order to heal.

In fact, some people resolve their griefwithout going through any of thesestages. And if you do go through thesestages of grief, you probably won’texperience them in a neat, sequentialorder, so don’t worry about what you“should” be feeling or which stage you’resupposed to be in.

Physical symptoms of griefWe often think of grief as a strictlyemotional process, but grief ofteninvolves physical problems, including:• Fatigue• Nausea• Lowered immunity• Weight loss or weight gain• Aches and pains• Insomnia


Emotional symptoms of griefShock and disbelief. Right after a loss, itcan be hard to accept what happened.You may feel numb, have troublebelieving that the loss really happened,or even deny the truth. If someone youlove has died, you may keep expectingthem to show up, even though youknow they’re gone.

Sadness. Profound sadness is probablythe most universally experiencedsymptom of grief. You may havefeelings of emptiness, despair, yearning,or deep loneliness. You may also cry alot or feel emotionally unstable.

Guilt. You may regret or feel guiltyabout things you did or didn’t say ordo. You may also feel guilty aboutcertain feelings (e.g. feeling relievedwhen the person died after a long,difficult illness). After a death, you mayeven feel guilty for not doing somethingto prevent the death, even if there wasnothing more you could have done.

Anger. Even if the loss was nobody’s fault,you may feel angry and resentful. If you losta loved one, you may be angry withyourself, God, the doctors, or even theperson who died for abandoning you. Youmay feel the need to blame someone forthe injustice that was done to you.

Fear. A significant loss can trigger a host ofworries and fears. You may feel anxious,helpless, or insecure. You may even havepanic attacks. The death of a loved one cantrigger fears about your own mortality, offacing life without that person, or theresponsibilities you now face alone.

SHOCK

DISBELIEF

SADNESS

GUILT

ANGER

FEAR


Finding a Therapist Who CanHelp You HealTalk to a Platinum Health therapist if yourgrief feels like too much to bear. PlatinumHealth therapists are available at mostPlatinum Health facilities. They can help youwork through intense emotions andovercome obstacles to your grieving.

Seek support for grief andlossThe pain of grief can often cause youto want to withdraw from others andretreat into your shell. But havingthe face-to-face support of otherpeople is vital to healing from loss.Even if you're not comfortabletalking about your feelings undernormal circumstances, it’s importantto express them when you’regrieving.

While sharing your loss can make theburden of grief easier to carry, thatdoesn’t mean that every time youinteract with friends and family, youneed to talk about your loss.Comfort can also come from justbeing around others who care aboutyou. The key is not to isolateyourself.

Take care of yourself as yougrieve When you’re grieving, it’s more importantthan ever to take care of yourself. The stressof a major loss can quickly deplete yourenergy and emotional reserves. Looking afteryour physical and emotional needs will helpyou get through this difficult time.

Face your feelingsYou can try to suppress your grief, but youcan’t avoid it forever. In order to heal, you haveto acknowledge the pain. Trying to avoidfeelings of sadness and loss only prolongs thegrieving process. Unresolved grief can alsolead to complications such as depression,anxiety, substance abuse, and healthproblems.


The difference between griefand depressionDistinguishing between grief and clinicaldepression isn’t always easy as they sharemany symptoms, but there are ways totell the difference. Remember, grief canbe a roller coaster. It involves a widevariety of emotions and a mix of good

and bad days. Even when you’re inthe middle of the grievingprocess, you will still havemoments of pleasure orhappiness. With depression, onthe other hand, the feelings ofemptiness and despair areconstant.

Complicated griefThe sadness of losing someone you lovenever goes away completely, but itshouldn’t remain center stage. If the painof the loss is so constant and severe that itkeeps you from resuming your life, youmay be suffering from a condition knownas complicated grief. Complicated grief islike being stuck in an intense state ofmourning. You may have trouble acceptingthe death long after it has occurred or beso preoccupied with the person who diedthat it disrupts your daily routine andundermines your other relationships.

Symptoms of complicated grief include:• Intense longing and yearning for your

deceased loved one.• Intrusive thoughts or images of your

loved one.• Denial of the death or sense of

disbelief.

• Imagining that your loved one is alive.• Searching for your deceased loved one

in familiar places.• Avoiding things that remind you of

your loved one.• Extreme anger or bitterness over your

loss.• Feeling that life is empty or

meaningless.

If your loved one’s death was sudden,violent, or otherwise extremely stressfulor disturbing, complicated grief canmanifest as psychological trauma orPTSD. If your loss has left you feelinghelpless and struggling with upsettingemotions, memories, and anxiety thatwon’t go away, you may have beentraumatised. But with the right guidance,you can make healing changes and moveon with your life.


Platinum Health’s Mental Health Services (MHS) canassist with grief and bereavement counselling.Therapists are available at most Platinum Health facilitiesand no referral or authorisation number is required toaccess the service. Contact MHS on 014 590 1700 toestablish where to access the service. Employees whoqualify for the Employee Assistance Programme (EAP) may access the service via their HR Department or any Platinum Health facility.

Depression Symptoms and Warning Signs: RecognisingDepression and Getting HelpOther symptoms that suggest depression,not just grief, include:• Intense, pervasive sense of guilt.• Thoughts of suicide or a preoccupation

with dying.• Feelings of hopelessness or

worthlessness.• Slow speech and body movements.• Inability to function at home, work,

and/or school.• Seeing or hearing things that aren't

there.

When to seek professional help for griefIf you’re experiencing symptoms ofcomplicated grief or clinical depression,talk to a Platinum Health mental healthprofessional right away. Left untreated,complicated grief and depression canlead to significant emotional damage,life-threatening health problems, andeven suicide. But treatment can help youget better.

Contact a professional therapist if you:• Feel like life isn’t worth living.• Wish you had died with

your loved one.• Blame yourself for the

loss or for failing toprevent it.

• Feel numb anddisconnected from others

for more than a few weeks.• Are having difficulty trusting others

since your loss.• Are unable to perform your normal

daily activities.


bereavement - platinum health · something or someone you love is taken away. the more significant...

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