This is a thoughtful response to the essay question, well researched and with a logical and clearly indicated structure. You write well, and provide thorough references for your quotes and to credit sources that informed your analysis. Your evaluation is consistently grounded in an understanding of the historical context of the emergence and development of Benedictine Monasticism, and I appreciated too the way in which you wove in a comparison with other forms of monasticism. Though you indicate a few areas of Benedictine Monasticism that could perhaps be criticized, your overall perspective is one in which you acknowledge and commend the gifts and strengths of the movement; this perspective demonstrate s respect, and an obvious desire to learn from those who have gone before you, but could have been balanced with some more explicit expressions of critical thinking.

A few points would be worth your attention: Monasticism dates back to at least 4th century in Christianity, and way before that within other faith traditions; on pages 2 and 3, among others, some of the paragraphs are a bit short and unconnected to each other, leading to a slight feeling of disjointedness, and you would do well to make clear to your reader the connections between thoughts that are obvious to you as the writer.

Your conclusion contains some good thoughts, but the essay ends rather abruptly, and with two separate thoughts from other authors; finishing instead with your own attempt to synthesize and summarize your argument and conclusions would have been an appropriate and valuable addition to your work.

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