BEING AND BECOMINGThe BEL Model

Who are you BE-ing?

• How do you tend to inhabit your body as you navigate leadership and other aspects of your world?

• What emotions do you tend to cultivate as you adjust to new realities?

• What language do you tend to use to direct action in your world?

“Leadership is not a skill, it is a way of being, it is a level of consciousness that we act out of”

~Gita Bellin

The story of Yemi: Name has been changed to

preserve confidentiality. Story told with permission

observer

BODY

EMOTIONSLANGUAGE

What we can describe is determined by elements that we call coherence – our history, our knowing, our shape

BODY

EMOTIONSLANGUAGE Actions Results drives generates

COHERENCE

BODY

EMOTIONSLANGUAGECOHERENCE

Source: Newfield Network

If there are outcomes that we are not experiencing in our lives it is because we have

not yet created the coherence for them

OBSERVER

BODY

EMOTIONSLANGUAGE

The body is a unifying force and if we cannot shift it for what the situation demands we may find ourselves stuck

Emotions are ultimate drivers of action. Acceptance and ambition are the two mood-spaces for effective leadership

Language IS action. When in language you are already in action – when you utter, you have shifted from within to without

On the journey of cultivating personal mastery, we recognise the importance of coherence in supporting our leadership possibilities

Ontology seeks to take the observer from knowledge state to wisdom state

BODY

EMOTIONSLANGUAGE Actions Results drives generates

First order learning = knowledge

Second order learning= wisdom

Source: Newfield Network

COURAGE

BODY

EMOTIONSLANGUAGE

Leaders who have walked impactful journeys display a mastery of this coherence in part or in total

YEMI

BODY

EMOTIONSLANGUAGE

Resolution

Fear, anger, mood of resentment

Dictatorial Declarations!

Yemi as an observer

Ontological Coaching

Source: http://newfieldasia.com/CoachTraining/AdditionalResources/OntologicalCoachingWhitePaper/index.htm

“Ontological coaching is a practice that facilitates the emergence of new possibilities in the

personal and/or professional life of an individual (or group) by making him/her aware of his/her

participation in the construction and co-creation of the reality s/he perceives.

BODY DISPOSITION

The body we are is the life we live. The self is the leader’s primary source of power. The body is indistinguishable from theself: it is essential to include the body if one wants to build the skills of exemplary leadership.

Richard Strozzi-Heckler

Core Values

Resolution

The Warrior

“This is not about me”

Stability

The King/Queen

“Everything will be ok”

Openness

The Lover

“Come, let’s do it together”

Flexibility

The Jester/Magician

“Why not?!”

EMOTIONS AND MOODS

“Emotions are not triggered, you create them”

~ Lisa Feldman-Barrett

Emotions are psycho- physiological responses to a thought

Emotions & Moods

Moods are emotions that have stayed with us for very long and trigger ‘large thoughts’ and ‘large actions’

Resentment…I am a victim…I cannot fully participate…A conversation cannot occur

Resignation…I could create change but I am afraid…I have tried before and it didn’t work…I know how this person is, they never change

Acceptance…I am at peace with what I cannot change…It is not in my hands to modify the past…Acceptance does not mean I tolerate bad behaviour

Ambition (Enthusiasm)…I am committed to getting the most out of life…I see the possibilities for action

We oppose

We accept

Facticity (What we cannot change)

Possibility(What we can change)

• Examine the accusation

• Have a courageous conversation

• FORGIVE –Commit to not let the past interfere

• Reject assumptions

• Seek different observations/ opinions from others

• REFLECT – what skill set may I need to make this different

We have the possibility always of shifting moods that we have once cultivated. Transformation is always possible

Courage and authentic power live here!

Language and Speech Acts

Source: ‘Language and the Pursuit of Happiness’ by Chalmers Brothers. Examples my own.

Language is action because it is generative. We speak ourselves into the world

• Assessments and Assertions – Assertions belong to the thing observed, and can be true or false; Assessments belong to the observer, and often reveal more about the observer than about the thing being observed.

• Declarations – are speech acts in which the speaker – out of nothingness – brings forth a new world of possibilities, a new way of seeing things; they produce a new context.

• Requests and Offers are profoundly creative and can change the course of how the future unfolds

• Promises, Commitments, Agreements – the way we coordinate – internally and externally – is with promises, commitments and agreements; this impacts trust, relationships, success and self-esteem.

The Possibilities