beacon - march 2013

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MARCH 2013 Vol. 26 No. 3 Photo by Heidi Graf Wha t’s I nside Advice and Ideas ............................ 9 Classifieds .................................... 44 Crossword .................................... 32 Delta/Montrose County ................ 39 Faith Moves .................................. 33 Finance ......................................... 30 Garfield County ............................. 42 Health & Wellness......................... 10 Laughing Matters ......................... 16 Local Lore ..................................... 24 Mesa County................................. 34 Parks & Recreation ....................... 22 River City Singles.......................... 35 Travel & Recreation ...................... 18 Local Lore The railroad was instrumental in west- ern Colorado’s rapid growth. Read more about its history on page 24. Western Colorado’s Monthly Newspaper for Adults 50+. Over 31,920 Readers. ShareFest Volunteers help their community during ShareFest in April. See how you can help on page 33. We all want to leave a lasting legacy. How will you leave yours? Read more in this month’s insert. Now on the web at www.BeaconSeniorNews.com Produced by the BEACON’s Advertising Team Vote for this year’s Volunteer of the Year page 10 Tillie Bishop’s legacy A servant leader and friend page 6 Tillie Bishop poses for a photo on his living room sofa while stroking his beloved bichon frise, Buddy. Tillie Bishop poses for a photo on his living room sofa while stroking his beloved bichon frise, Buddy. Your Local Guide to Giving Your Time & Money LOCAL guide to giving your time and money In land they trust Founders of the Mesa Land Trust decided years ago to preserve the beauty and vitality of our area. Read more on page 6. B EA T LEMANIA For baby boomers Marsha Kearns and Karen Kosinski, the music, legend and love of The Beatles lives on across the universe. B EA T LEMANIA For baby boomers Marsha Kearns and Karen Kosinski, the music, legend and love of The Beatles lives on across the universe.

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  • March 2013 Vol. 26 No. 3

    Photo by Heidi Graf

    Whats InsideAdvice and Ideas ............................ 9Classifieds .................................... 44Crossword .................................... 32Delta/Montrose County ................ 39Faith Moves .................................. 33Finance ......................................... 30Garfield County ............................. 42Health & Wellness ......................... 10Laughing Matters ......................... 16Local Lore ..................................... 24Mesa County ................................. 34Parks & Recreation ....................... 22River City Singles.......................... 35Travel & Recreation ...................... 18

    Local LoreThe railroad was instrumental in west-ern Colorados rapid growth. Read more about its history on page 24.

    Western Colorados Monthly Newspaper for Adults 50+. Over 31,920 Readers.

    ShareFestVolunteers help their community during ShareFest in April. See how you can help on page 33.

    We all want to leave a lasting legacy. How will you leave yours? Read more in this months insert.Now on the web at www.BeaconSeniorNews.comProduced by the BEACONs Advertising Team

    Vote for this years Volunteer of the Yearpage 10

    Tillie Bishops legacy

    A servant leader and friend

    page 6

    Tillie Bishop poses for a photo on his living room sofa while stroking his beloved bichon frise, Buddy.

    Tillie Bishop poses for a photo on his living room sofa while stroking his beloved bichon frise, Buddy.

    Your Local Guide to Giving Your Time & Money

    Create a LegacyLOCAL guide to giving your time and money

    In land they trustFounders of the Mesa Land Trust decided years ago to preserve the beauty and vitality of our area. Read more on page 6.

    BeatlemaniaFor baby boomers Marsha Kearns and Karen Kosinski, the music, legend and love of The Beatles lives on across the universe.

    BeatlemaniaFor baby boomers Marsha Kearns and Karen Kosinski, the music, legend and love of The Beatles lives on across the universe.

  • 2 www.BeaconSeniorNews.com March 2013

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  • March 2013 www.BeaconSeniorNews.com Editorial 3

    An embarrassing confessionBy Kevin K. VanGundy

    After a disastrous first year at the University of Arizona, I moved back home to Grand Junction. For as long as I can reasonably remember, I had aspired to a career in politics, so I began getting involved in the local party. As I made my way, many sug-gested that I meet with Tillie Bishop, who was then a state senator.

    Graciously, Tillie agreed to have lunch with me. He admonished me about how being a successful elected official is more about being in service to the people than about obtaining personal glory. Mostly, sadly, embar-rassingly, I was thinking about how the poor guy was likely to never rise above his current and longstand-ing position as a state senator. In my mind his career had peaked. Surely, I would be more successful than that, I thought to myself.

    If only Id known then what I know now, I would have realized that Tillie was giving me great advice. I didnt get his notion of servant leader-ship. I didnt take his advice, much to the detriment of my political ca-reer, as I have never won an election.

    Tillie Bishop exemplifies what a politician should be: a servant to the people and a friend to most. I was right on one thing: Tillie would never go on to a higher national office. Some could rightfully dispute the use of the word higher and argue that a move to Washington would have been a step down, but it is a bit of a shame as I feel confident that if we had more leaders like Tillie in Con-

    gress, our nation would not be in the sad state of affairs that it is now.

    Tillie Bishop has certainly created quite a legacy. You can read more about his inspiring story in this months special publication, Create A Legacy: a local guide to giving your time and money. What will your legacy be?

    BeaconFest is April 18Make plans to attend the largest

    senior fair in the state of Colorado. Our Grand Junction BeaconFest will be from 9 a.m.-3 p.m. on Thursday, April 18 at the Two Rivers Conven-tion Center, 159 Main Street.

    Volunteer of the YearThe cover of the May issue of the

    BEACON will feature the winner of the Volunteer of the Year Award. We have 20 candidates vying for this years trophy. The winner will be based on your votes. As one of my democrat friends said, Remember to vote early and vote often!

    Summer travel plans?Where will you visit this summer?

    Whatever your flavor of travel, well have you covered in Junes Summer Travel insert. Wed like to include some of your old photos. Please in-clude, if possible, the names of those in the photo, when it was taken and a little about where you were going. Email your photos to:

    [email protected] or mail them to:

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    n The family of harvey Gorby mwishes to thank all his wonderful Friends and Loved Ones for:

    Coming to his memorial (on a Cold winter day)Joining the wake at naggy mCgees and the Blue moon

    all moving, wonderful Cards, gifts and flowers, hugs, tears and laughterwe know he was so pleased and humBled, as was his family.

    they meant everything to us.we know harvey was laughing and Crying with us.lift a Bud to him and smile. hell always Be here.

    Beer30 Signing Off

  • 4 covEr Story www.BeaconSeniorNews.com March 2013

    The band that changed everythingBy Marsha Kearns

    Dont blink! Fifty years go by faster than you think.

    In 1963, the most famous, popular, and suc-cessful rock-n-roll band in history was ready to test American musical waters. The BeatlesJohn, Paul, George, and Ringohad coalesced into a magical, musical entity that, to-gether and solo, changed the worldand still does.

    The Beatles released their first song in Amer-ica in February 1963. It was a 7-inch, 45 RPM vinyl disc with the A side of Please Please Me and B side of Ask Me Why. The release was on the VJ label. Capitol Records initially refused to release any Beatles records, in spite of the insistence of its parent company, EMI, The Beatles British record label. VJs half-hearted promotional efforts may be the rea-son that Please Please Me peaked at number 35 on the charts. (In fact, ini-tial pressings of the single misspelled the groups name as The Beattles.)

    Instant hit? Screaming fans? Not on your life.

    At that time, our nation was headed for very dark days. In November of that year, President John F. Kennedy was assassinated. The entire country indeed, the worldwas in shock.

    Still, rock-n-roll will never die.I think Walter Cronkite should

    get partial credit for launching The Beatles in America, Grand Junction resident Karen Kosinski, who has a Master of Arts in The Beatles, said. Cronkite wanted to bring us out of the depression caused by the Ken-nedy assassination.

    On December 10, 1963, the CBS Evening News with Cronkite aired a segment about The Beatles. The first Capitol Records release, I Want To Hold Your Hand/I Saw Her Stand-ing There, was December 26, 1963, three weeks earlier than originally

    intended, after key U.S. radio sta-tions began airing the British version of the songs. I Want to Hold Your Hand was the groups first number 1 hit in America.

    Mastering The BeatlesThe allure of The Beatles has not

    diminished in half a century. In 2009, Liverpool Hope University began of-fering a Master of Arts degree in The Beatles, Popular Music and Society.

    From around the world, only 12 applicants were accepted in 2010. Kosinski, age 60, was one of them.

    I was so excited, I screamed, Kosinski said. I had dreamed of liv-ing in England. I spent 18 months in Liverpool walking the same streets The Beatles walked and

    seeing the houses and places The Beatles lived, played,

    and worked as kids and as

    a band.The masters program

    is two semesters, focus-ing on The Beatles compositions, their unique sound, and their impact on society and pop culture. In addi-tion, students learned the history of Liverpool and were encouraged to study other musical genres and musicians.

    I learned to listen to music in a whole new way, Kosinski said. Its amazing the way the band, primarily Lennon and McCartney, wrote to-gether, and alone, and then put it all together to create timeless songs.

    Kosinskis professional designation is popular music specialist, specializ-ing in The Beatles. In particular, she was fascinated by and studied the impact of The Beatles upon culture, society, and especially, the fans.

    Delving into The Beatles history naturally led to the bands blues roots and inevitably, for Kosinski, specifi-cally to Elvis Presley. She was struck by the similarities between Presley

    and Lennon as iconic, even godlike, figures. Her post-

    masters plans include writing a book on the significance of and paral-lels in the lives of these

    two enigmatic men. The working title is Icon: John Lennons Rise to Sainthood.

    It wont be another history of Lennon book or a biography, Kosin-ski said. My book will take a unique point of view and investigate the creation of a human icon. The fans and the media have made John Len-non into something he wouldnt have even wanted.

    Are you a true Beatles fan? Heres your chance to show us what you know about The Beatles. Answer the questions below and include your name and phone number. Send your answers to: BEACON Senior Newspaper, P.O. Box 3895, Grand Junction, CO 81502 by March 20. We will tally the number of correct answers and the highest scorers will be entered into a prize drawing.

    1. The Beatles third and last appearance on The Ed Sullivan Show was broad-cast from what city?

    2. John Lennon and Paul McCartney first met at a church social where Johns group was playing. What was the name of the group?

    3. Name the record label made famous for turning down The Beatles.

    4. What is Paul McCartneys real first name?

    5. What was the title of George Harrisons first song to be included on a Beatles record?

    6. Who was the song Sexy Sadie named for?

    7. What group did Ringo Starr play in prior to joining The Beatles?

    8. The Beatles first appeared on a major record label as a backup band to what English pop singer?

    9. Scrambled Eggs was the working title to what Beatles song?

    10. Who was The Beatles first drummer?11. What Beatles song was inspired by a drawing by Johns son, Julian?

    12. The last American Beatles concert took place in what city?

    Bonus Question: No score, but we will tally the answers and let you know the winner in Aprils BEACON, along with the winner of the contest.

    Q. Who is your favorite Beatle?Quiz compiled by Jim Kearns

    Karen Kosinski in front of John Lennons childhood home in Liverpool, England.

    Kearns collection of Beatles wallet cards.

  • March 2013 www.BeaconSeniorNews.com covEr Story 5

    We still love themyeah, yeah, yeah!

    Today, kids and grandkids of the 60s generation em-brace The Beatles and their timeless music as eagerly as we did. Too bad they can only experience from film and radio clips the unprecedented energy, excitement, and euphoria the band created.

    The reality of living through The Beatles short, but highly productive, period of magical musical tours, the big break-up, the murder of John Lennon, and the death of George Harrison has been life changing for many, especially for those who saw the band play live. Lucky me.

    The fuse was lit in 1963, but the fireworks really exploded exactly a year later, in February 1964, fu-eled by that fan-flamed frenzy called Beatlemania.

    Well, I had just turned 14You know what I meanAnd the way I feltWas way beyond compare.

    I was in love for the first time with four longhaired lads from Liverpool. Me and a million other girlsand boys. The four were cute, funny, magnetic, and they moved you to cry, to laugh, and, well, to move.

    Starting with their two ap-pearances on the Ed Sullivan Show, the Fab Four turned lives upside down through their music, charm, wit, pure talent, and energy. My whole fam-ily watched them on TV both times, along with most of America and the rest of the world.

    My parents apparently noticed my infatuation. Maybe they werent as out of it as I thought at age 14.

    Anyway, I got the mumps that spring, and Dad (per Moms strong suggestion) came home one night with a miracle in his hands to make me feel better. He presented me with two vinyl LP discsIntroducing the Beatles and Meet the Beatles. Did that cheer me up? Boy, howdy! Life at our house was never the same. It was all Beatles, all the time, on our little record player.

    I collected everything Beatles I could, from bubble gum cards to bobble-head dolls to Saturday Evening

    Post magazines. When the usual rash of tornadoes threatened our Missouri home, I always grabbed my Beatles stuff before I headed for the basement.

    The band was on tour that year, taking America by storm, and they had a grueling schedule. Their cherished days off were few and far between. Kansas City was not on their tour list. Enter Charlie Finley, controversial owner of the Kansas City Athletics baseball team. He was in trouble with baseball fans and he needed a boost.

    After much negotiation, Finley finally offered The Beatles man-ager, Brian Epstein, an incredible $150,000the highest sum in history

    at that time for a single perfor-manceto bring The Beatles to Municipal Stadium on one of their days off. Over the protests

    of the band, Epstein agreed to the price and convinced the lads

    to do the gig.

    The Beatles are coming! Would the magic never end?

    Dad came home one night with four tickets to the concert. Not

    only that, they were lower-deck box seats that cost an astounding $6.50 apiece. I was going to see

    The Beatles!On September 17, Dad drove

    four hyper kids 35 miles from Lone Jack to downtown Kansas City and dropped off my younger broth-ers, my best friend Jill and me into a teeming crowd of teen spirit. Our seats were right behind home plate, and even though the stage was far out on second base, we were front and center in heaven.

    When the suited-up group ran grin-ning and waving across the grassy stadium and onto the stage, my screams joined 20,279 others.

    Official accounts of the concert say there were opening bands. They say there was a delay when the band stopped

    playing because the fans got rowdy. I dont remember any of that. I only remember balancing on the arms of our seats to get a better view for the whole 32 minutes they played. I remember the sound and the fury of all the feelings.

    Heres an understatement: it was unbelievably great and life-altering for a teenager.

    Dad had sat out on the sidewalk with cab drivers and other dads waiting for kids to emerge so they could take them home safely. Forever afterward, whenever the concert came up in conversation, he would laugh and shake his head and say, I never heard a sound like that before or since in my life.

    He meant the crowd, of course, but the unique sound was the music of The Beatles. That band changed everything, as their continuing evolu-tion as men and musicians affected not only individuals, but also the entire American culture.

    The music, the legend, and the love live on across the universe. I still play my first Beatles vinyl albums, ecstati-cally singing over the scratches and happily dancing right back to 1964.

    And in the endIncredibly, after conquering Amer-

    ica, the band only toured for two more years, from 19641966. They couldnt hear each other on stage, their touring accommodations were often poor, and the schedule was brutal. They were weary and often feared for their personal safety.

    The Beatles was the first band to ever be forced from touring by their own fans, Kosinski said.

    Of course, the music didnt stop when the touring did. Together and individually, The Beatles continue to create some of the most innovative and memorable music ever heard.

    Kosinski brings her per-spective and experiences

    through presentations and Q&A sessions at various venues throughout the Grand Valley. You can reach her at 712-2755 or

    [email protected].

    Publisher ........................... Kevin VanGundy

    Founding Publisher .................. Susan Capps

    Editor ....................................... Cloie Sandlin

    Office Manager .......................Genevra Shal

    Graphic Design ............................. Heidi Graf

    Production/ Photographer ........ Karen Jones

    Delivery ....................................Anouk Olson

    Advertising Sales ........................Sue Bowen

    Advertising Sales ................ Linda Lovendahl

    Advertising Sales ................ Michelle Hooper

    Delta-Montrose BureauAdvertising Sales ................... Virginia Carlile

    Delivery .........................................JR Milner

    Garfield BureauEditor ......................................Cheryl Currier

    P.O. Box 3895, Grand Junction, CO 81502970.243.8829 800.536.7516 fax

    Website: www.BeaconSeniorNews.comE-mail: [email protected]

    The Beacon is published at the beginning of the month. Our goal is to inform and inspire the 50+ community in Mesa, Delta, Montrose and Garfield counties.

    Publication of advertising does not necessarily con-stitute endorsement. Columns are opinions of the writers, not necessarily the opinion of the publisher. Display advertising rates are available upon request. Deadline for advertising and announcements is the 20th of the month preceding publication.

    Copyright 2013 All Rights Reserved

    National & Regional Award-Winning Publication

    Cover PhotoBEACON writer Marsha Kearns, left, and Karen Kosinski, right, show off Kearns Beatles record

    collection. In 2010, Kosinski was accepted into a Master of Arts program, which specialized in The Beatles music and the im-pact it had on the world.

  • 6 FEaturE Story www.BeaconSeniorNews.com March 2013

    By Terri Benson

    Back in 1980, the Grand Valley was in the midst of the oil shale boom. Families were pouring into the area and houses and commercial buildings were going up everywhere. It was at that time that a group of forward-thinking people got together and made a decision that changed not only their lives, but will continue to impact every generation that follows.

    This group of people, consisting of John and Dorris Butler, Harry and Bonnie Talbott, Ivan and Jane Wood, Mike and Blakely Mechau, and Blaine Derrick, decided they wanted to preserve what they loved most, ac-cording to Mesa Land Trust Executive Director Rob Blieberg.

    They wanted to make sure the beautiful orchards and agricultural land in the Palisade area werent built over with never-ending residential subdivisions and commercial proj-ects, Blieberg said. A friend at Mesa State College, Dr. Ted Albers, suggest-ed they attend a workshop in Denver put on by the Trust for Public Land, a national organization that provided consultation and guidance on start-ing a land trust. It was a concept in its infancy at the time.

    So the Mesa County Land Con-

    servancy was bornthe third such program in the entire country. There are currently 1,800 land trusts nationwide. The Mesa Land Trust, as its known today, has continued to further and expand the original intentprotecting agricultural lands, wildlife habitat, and open space in and around Mesa County to benefit the community at large.

    Bleiberg credits the level of dedi-cation and planning of the original board, their wide range of life expe-riences, and concern for the com-munitys quality of life for bringing the trust to fruition. Those original founders of the trust started a rock rolling that has become an avalanche of effort, resulting in more than 64,000 acres of land being preserved as of December 2012. Thats more than 100 square miles.

    Parcels range from as small as 10 acres of prime orchard to 11,000 acres on Pion Mesa, and more than 175 land owners have participated. While most of the trust lands have been in Mesa County, there have been some in eastern Utah, the Roar-ing Fork area, west Montrose County, and down near Ridgway.

    Some of the properties are signed, Bleiberg said, particularly those on East Orchard Mesa. Over

    In land they trust

    time, those areas will be clearly no-ticeable as the conserved parcels are linked and grow.

    Between 2011 and 2012, the trust worked on 11 projects, conserving over 1,200 acres with a total ease-ment value of nearly $5 million. Six properties were donated. The other five involved grants for purchase.

    The trust has grown to a volunteer board of 16 members, all required to work at least eight hours per month on trust business.

    Many of these members have seen what happens in other areas, when cities literally grew together, and thats why they make this effort, Bleiberg said.

    There are also six paid staff, who work tirelessly alongside many other volunteers including attorneys, busi-ness owners, agricultural businesses, interested citizens, retirees, real estate specialists and accountants. There are more than 700 members of the trust who contribute to the 501(c)(3) nonprofit. An annual fund-raiser helps cover operation costs.

    Mesa Land Trust partners with landowners who have property of extreme scenic beauty; or which has riparian habitat, endangered species (plant or animal), agricultural history and future potential (irrigated, good

    soils and productive); provides a buf-fer zone between development and a public property such as the Colorado National Monument or other towns; can help connect existing trail sys-tems, or can otherwise contribute to the communitys quality of life.

    The landscape defines the Grand Valley, and while growth and evolu-tion are inevitable, our area and qual-ity of life is far richer for the founders [of the trust] having moved forward, Bleiberg said.

    In most cases the landowners ap-proach the trust, but on rare occa-sions the trust will mount a capital campaign to raise funds to purchase a property outright, as was recently done for the scenic Three Sisters area near the Colorado National Monu-ment. When the property was put up for sale, the trust recognized that it was perfectly suited for preservation as a public use area in conjunction with the many hiking and biking trails and the Tabeguache Trail. The trust approached the sellers, asking them for a long-term contract to al-low time for fundraising, low earnest money due to restricted funds, and arranged for an appraisal, all typical requirements on projects that are outright purchases. The Three Sisters required raising $1.6 million to pur-

    The founders of the Mesa County Land Conservancy.

    Cryptic Graffiti of Wind is a conserved ranch on Glade Park. Photo by Malcolm Childers.

  • March 2013 www.BeaconSeniorNews.com FEaturE Story 7

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    chase the property, which was then donated to the City to be used as public open space park. The money was raised, for the most part, from $10 to $5,000 donations from local individuals and businesses, along with service clubs, the City of Grand Junction, The Colorado Plateau Mountain Bike Trail Association, the Bureau of Land Management, and the sellers themselves.

    For the landowner, there are a variety of reasons to put their land in trust. Most, like the founders, want to preserve the land in perpetuity in its pristine or productive state. There can be some financial benefits with regard to tax incentives and estate planning, and the owners still retain complete ownership. Placing the property in trust does not mean its open to public use. It does prevent subdividing, or residential, commer-cial or industrial use of the property (except agriculture use). There are four family farms that have utilized conservation easements, which be-tween them represent 10 generations of fruit growers.

    The trust works closely with the landowner to make sure they fully understand the ramifications and that this is a permanent easement.

    Its important that all the landown-ers of a property, and sometimes their immediate family, make sure they are in agreement that a conser-vation easement is in the best interest of the property, Bleiberg said.

    The landowner may be able to generate cash through state funding and a transferable tax credit. This can allow family members to continue to live on the property longer than they might otherwise be able to. Or it may provide cash for part of the family to pursue other lifestyles while those who wish can continue to use the land. It can also provide funds to re-invest in the business, provide capital to young farmers and stabilize the land base.

    Fruitlands Forever is a trust proj-ect tasked with protecting a total of 1,000 acres of fruit orchards. This is the acreage research deemed neces-sary to sustain a viable fruit industry in the eastern Grand Valley, support-

    ing the packing sheds, supply busi-nesses and an adequate workforce. So far, 722 acres have been conserved. In addition, more than eight miles of riverfront on the Colorado and Gun-nison Rivers, and two-thirds of the limited irrigated land on Glade Park are protected with easements.

    A conservation easement is a land protection tool. The landowner determines the development restric-tions and retains all other rights to the property. The easement is per-manent and remains with the land in perpetuity, whether the land is sold, bequeathed, leased or gifted. Most landowners retain the right to build a limited number of houses for their familys future needs or for future financial considerations. The easements can be flexible enough to accommodate most landowner needs as long as the conservation values are protected. Because the easement rep-resents value given up by the land-owner, they might receive a federal income tax deduction. Estate taxes are often reduced, allowing the prop-erty to remain with the family rather than being sold to pay taxes. There are few drawbacks, but the ease-ments are permanent and will limit opportunities for future landowners to develop, divide or subdivide the land. Other options exist to protect land and the trust will work with the landowner to help determine which option best suits their situation.

    Landowners can also utilize planned giving to place land in conservation as part of their estate planning.

    Funding for the trust comes from many sources, Blieberg said. Lot-tery money via Great Outdoors Colorado; Mesa County; the cities of Grand Junction, Palisade and Fruita; local groups; Conservation Fund Trust Dollars; Parks and Open Space; Wildlife programs and the USDA/Natural Resources Conservation Services. Not to mention individuals and businesses.

    Anyone interested in contributing funds or volunteering time to the trust, or in placing a conservation easement on their property, can visit www.mesalandtrust.org or call 263-5443.

  • 8 www.BeaconSeniorNews.com March 2013

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    8 oz Cashel blue cheese, crumbled1/4 c all-purpose flour1/8 t cayenne pepper1/2 t dry mustard3/4 c Irish lager, preferably Kells brand1/2 c half-and-halfCoarse saltSliced apples, for servingBread cubes, for servingSteamed broccoli, for servingRed and yellow peppers, for serving

    IN A MEDIuM BOWL toss blue cheese, flour, cayenne and dry mustard together; set aside.

    PLACE lager and half-and-half in a fondue pot over medium-high heat; stir to combine. Bring liquid to a simmer and slowly stir in cheese mixture; continue stirring until cheese is completely melted. Season with salt. Serve immediately with apples, bread, broccoli, and peppers.

    Serves 8

    8 large lemons, preferably Meyer3 large eggs, separated1/2 c granulated sugar2 T all-purpose flourConfectioners sugar, for dusting

    PREHEAT oven to 350 degrees. Line a baking sheet with parchment. Trim tip end so lemon sits level. Cut stem end one-third of the way down, making cut parallel with bottom; reserve top. Repeat with remaining lemons.

    HOLD a lemon above a sieve set on a bowl, and scoop out the pulp. Squeeze the juice from the pulp, and reserve. Repeat with all lemons. Place shells on baking sheet.

    COMBINE egg yolks, 1/4 c granulated sugar, 1/4 c reserved lemon juice, and flour in the heat-proof bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the whisk attachment. Beat mixture on medium speed until pale yellow, about 3 min. Place bowl over a pan of simmering water; whisk constantly until very thick, about 8 min. Remove bowl from heat, and return to mixer. Beat on medium speed until cool, about 10 min. Transfer to a medium bowl, and set aside.

    COMBINE egg whites and remaining 1/4 c granulated sugar in clean mixer bowl. Place the bowl over the pan of simmering water, and stir until sugar has dissolved and mixture is warm to the touch. Remove bowl from heat, and return to mixer; beat on low speed until frothy. Gradually increase speed until meringue is shiny and holds soft peaks, 2 to 3 min., being careful not to overbeat.

    WHISK 1/3 of the meringue into the yolk mixture. Gently fold in the remaining me-ringue. Carefully fill the prepared lemon shells to just below the rims.

    TRANSFER baking sheet to oven, and bake until meringue is slightly golden and rises about 1 in. above the shell, about 14 min. Remove from oven, and transfer to serving plates. Garnish with the reserved lemon tops, and dust with confectioners sugar. Serve immediately.

    Little Lemon SouffLeS

  • March 2013 www.BeaconSeniorNews.com advicE & idEaS 9

    Advice Column for the Over 50 CrowdBy Gayle Lagman-Creswick

    Dear Old Bag: I enjoy your column and was happy that you were a proponent for women paying their own way on dates, or at least offer-ing to share the high cost of enter-tainment. Yes, we wanted equality, which means pay for your own! I would like you to take on another challenging issue:

    I am a 62-year-old Latina woman, single by choice, who is sick and tired of people thinking (more like emoting) that I am single in order to chase their men. I am single be-cause my sister was heavily abused for many years until he murdered her. I am single because I lost the love of my life when I was 25 and never met anyone else I could find so easy to love. Getting my educa-tion while working full time inter-vened, and there was little time to date. I am also single because I became tired of men who dated me, seeming that they only wanted me to cook, maid, and to be a sex object.

    It gets really old to have gossipers pointing the finger at me because I am independent and go many places alone. Frankly, I have high standards and wouldnt want most of the men available at my age, let alone anyones husband.

    I am not denying that I would love to have a loving, decent, intelligent, and warm companion. Not all single women are out there just to chase men. The best advice I could offer anyone is: dont jump in too soon, and then have it blow up in your face. Respect yourself if you want a man or woman to respect you back. Signed, Peace On My Own

    Dear Peace On My Own: Wow, I am glad you got that off your chest. It appears you must have had a bad experience with some married women. I was single for 20 years and

    Ask the Old Bagwas lucky that my girlfriends and their husbands adopted me to go along with them on many occasions. None of their husbands offered themselves to me and I am sure it was never on their minds. You did not say how many friends you have. I

    spent my 20 years single enjoying all my friends. There were married men (not the husbands of my friends) who approached me, and I told them to go home to their wives. Part of me says that you may be too picky. The other part of me says you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you meet your prince. You should also keep in mind that women who have wandering husbands often keep a tight rein on them. And like any good watchdog, they will bark when you get too close. O.B.

    Dear Old Bag: Where could I get a copy of the Old Bag Rules for Ca-sual Dating for the Over 50 Crowd? Signed, Girlfriend Disagrees

    Dear Disagrees: Since I have had several request them, I will repeat them next month. However, the rules are meant for casual dating. If she is your girlfriend, I do not call that casual. It should then be a mutual agreement between the two of you. Good luck.

    Dear Old Bag: I am fed up about reading about the glut of sexual activity among single seniors. Now they say that AIDS is on the increase in the elderly. Have we lost our marbles? It is embarrassing to me that people our age (I am 60) have to act like rabbits. Signed, Fed Up

    Dear Fed Up: It is important to get the word out to all seniors that just because you cant get pregnant, doesnt mean you cannot contract a venereal disease or AIDS. We are told to talk to our kids about having responsible sex. The same goes for the over 50 crowd. O.B.

    Send your questions to the Old Bag in care of the BEACON, or email [email protected].

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  • 10 hEalth & wEllnESS www.BeaconSeniorNews.com March 2013

    The Healthy GeezerBy Fred Cicetti

    Part 2 of 3

    My first column on back pain was about causes. This one is about prevention.

    One of the best things you can do to prevent back pain is to exercise regularly and keep your back and ab-dominal muscles strong. A program of regular low-im-pact exercises such as walking, swimming, or riding a bikemobile or stationarywill be beneficial. Yoga can also help stretch and strengthen muscles and improve posture. Ask your doctor for a list of exercises ap-propriate for your age and physical condition.

    Here are some quick pointers to prevent back problems:

    Always stretch before any strenu-ous physical activity.

    Dont slouch when standing or sitting. When standing, keep your weight balanced on your feet. Curva-ture of the spine puts stress on back muscles.

    Sit in chairs or car seats with good lumbar support. Switch sitting posi-tions often and periodically walk around or gently stretch muscles to relieve tension.

    Dont bend over without support-ing your back. For example, dont lean over a low sink without bracing yourself with your hand. Also, dont reach and lift an object out of a car trunk. First, slide the object to the edge of the trunk.

    Wear comfortable, low-heeled shoes.

    Sleep on your side to reduce any curve in your spine. Always sleep on a firm surface.

    Dont try to lift objects too heavy for you. Lift with your legs, keeping your back straight. Keep the object close to your body. Do not twist when lifting.

    Try to control your weight, espe-cially weight around the waistline that taxes lower back muscles.

    If you smoke, quit. Smoking reduc-es blood flow to the lower spine and causes the spinal discs to degenerate.

    To keep your spine strong, as with all bones, you need to get enough cal-cium and vitamin D every day. These nutrients help prevent osteoporosis,

    which is responsible for a lot of the bone

    fractures that lead to

    back pain.

    Calcium is found in dairy products; green, leafy vegetables; and fortified products, like orange juice. Your skin makes vitamin D when you are in the sun. If you are not outside much, you can obtain vitamin D from your diet. Almost all milk and some other foods are fortified with this nutrient. Most adults dont get enough calcium and vitamin D, so talk to your doctor about how much you need per day.

    In most cases, it is not necessary to see a doctor for back pain because pain usually goes away with or with-out treatment. However, a trip to the doctor is a good idea if your pain is severe and doesnt improve, or if you have pain after a fall or an injury.

    It is important to see your doctor if you have pain along with any of the following problems: trouble urinat-ing; weakness, pain or numbness in your legs; fever; or unintentional weight loss. Such symptoms could signal a serious problem that requires treatment.

    If you would like to read more columns, you can order a copy of How to be a Healthy Geezer at www.healthygeezer.com. If you have a question, write to [email protected].

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  • March 2013 www.BeaconSeniorNews.com hEalth & wEllnESS 11

    tender. Eating liver, dried beans, peas and anchovies can lead to a gout at-tack, as can certain blood pressure medicines.

    Some medicines can help with arthritis. Acetaminophen is one. Nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs) are another. But beware of their side effects.

    Using a cane when walking can ease the pain in the knees and hips. But the National Institute on Aging says to make sure the cane is fitted by a professional. Dont just borrow one from a friend. Professional cane fitters are not prevalent. But your doctor might help.

    Daily exer-cise, such as walking or swimming can help. It makes the muscles around the joints stronger.

    Three types of exercise are suggested: strengthening exercises, such as weight train-

    ing; aerobic exercises, such as bike riding and dancing were recommend-ed. (I picture myself when I was in the Navy in World War II when I won a jitterbug contest at a USO. Those days are gone forever.)

    The institute has created a Go4Life campaign to help you start a safe ex-ercise program. You can learn about it by going to go4life.nia.nih.gov.

    Acupuncture may help some people. Glucosamine and chondroi-tin may help, but they seem to have no effect on changes to cartilage in the knee, according to the National Institute on Aging.

    Work with your doctor to safely lessen the pain and stiffness. Or con-tact the American College of Rheu-matology/Association of Rheumatol-ogy Health Professionals at www.rheumatology.org, or the Arthritis Foundation at www.arthritis.org.

    By Tait Trussell

    Snake venom is not recommended for arthritis. At least not by the Na-tional Institute on Aging. Neither are those copper bracelets you see some people wearing.

    Almost anyone who is in the cat-egory of a Medicare beneficiary has arthritis. If you dont, you undoubt-edly will eventually.

    Arthritis is one of the most com-mon diseases in the United States. Older people most often have os-teoarthritis, rheumatoid arthritis or gout, according to the National Institute on Aging.

    Osteoarthritis is most common in seniors. It begins to make your acquain-tance when the cartilage, the tissue that pads bones in a joint, begins to wear away. When this hap-pens, you wish that you hadnt been a jogger when you were younger. But its not confined to the knees, of course. Arthritis pain can occur in the neck, hands, lower back, and hips.

    Symptoms range from stiffness to mild pain to worse pain that just wont go away. There are means of relief, however, which you may have found. If not, Ill list a few later.

    Rheumatoid arthritis, as contrasted with osteoarthritis, is a kind of disease that makes the body attack itself. It causes stiffness, pain and swelling and can affect many loca-tions at the same time. You can even run a fever with it. Women are vic-tims more often than men.

    Rheumatoid arthritis can also cause heart problems, troubles with your muscles and nervous system, even your eyes.

    Gout is quite painful. It occurs most often in the big toe. It usually becomes red or purple and quite

    Coping with arthritis

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  • 12 hEalth & wEllnESS www.BeaconSeniorNews.com March 2013

    How to prevent foodborne illnessBy SueAnn Carpenter

    According to the Center for Dis-ease Control (CDC), roughly one in six people in the U.S. gets sick each year from eating contaminated food. The familiar culprits are Sal-monella, E. coli and other common germs. Because the symptoms are flu-like (nausea, vomiting, diarrhea or fever), many people dont recognize that their illness is caused by harmful bacteria or other pathogens in food.

    Everyone is at risk for getting a foodborne illness, but some can experience a more serious illness or even death: infants, young children, pregnant women and their unborn babies, older adults, and people with weakened immune systems (such as those with HIV/AIDS, cancer, diabe-tes, kidney disease, and transplant patients). Some people become ill after ingesting only a few harmful bacteria, while others remain symp-tom-free after ingesting thousands.

    Be cautious about the food you buy, prepare, serve and eat. Bacteria are naturally present in our environment and not all cause disease. But mi-croorganisms that cause disease are called pathogens. When these enter the food supply, they cause food-borne illness. They may even be pres-ent on food when you purchase it: raw meat, poultry, seafood and eggs are not sterile, nor is fresh produce such as lettuce, tomatoes, sprouts and melons. These foods, whether raw or safely cooked, can become cross contaminated with pathogens or from food handlers with poor hygiene.

    Most foodborne illness can be prevented with proper cooking or processing to destroy pathogens. Because bacteria multiply rapidly between 40 degrees F and 140 de-grees F (the danger zone), its vital to keep cold food cold and hot food hot. To ensure safety when cooking, use a meat thermometer for inter-nal recommended temperatures for various meats. Maintain hot cooked food at 140 degrees F or above, and when reheating cooked food, get the

    temperature up to 165 degrees F.If you think you have a foodborne

    illness, save a portion of the sus-pect food, wrap it securely, mark DANGER and freeze it. Save all the packaging materials, such as cans or cartons. Write down the food type, the date, other identifying marks on the package, the time consumed, and when the onset of symptoms oc-curred. Save any identical unopened products.

    Call your doctor if symptoms persist or are severe (such as bloody diarrhea, excessive nausea and vomit-ing, or high temperature). Call and notify the establishment serving or selling the food. Call the local health department if the suspect food was served at a large gathering, from a restaurant or other food service facil-ity, or if it is a commercial product. Call the USDA Meat and Poultry Ho-tline at 1-888-MPHotline (1-888-674-6854) if the suspect food is a USDA-inspected product and you have all the packaging.

    When shopping, get your nonper-ishable food first. Items from fridges and freezers or hot food should be picked up just before you return home. If it takes longer than 30 min-utes to return home, put chilled or frozen foods into an insulated bag to keep them cool.

    Check whether the skin on the produce is intact. Is it free of unusual odors? If prepackaged, inspect the wrapping for damage that could allow poisonous bacteria to enter. Check the expiration date. If you prefer a reusable shopping bag or plastic bin, disinfect and wash it with hot soapy water frequently. Carry meat and fish separately so they dont contaminate other food.

    But unsafe food can occur in your own kitchen. Dont prepare food for others if you have diarrhea or vomiting. Hands spread the majority of common infectious diseases like the common cold and flu. So wash your hands thoroughly with soap and water before eating, after using the toilet, and when you prepare a meal.

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  • March 2013 www.BeaconSeniorNews.com hEalth & wEllnESS 13

    Make sure cutting boards, utensils and countertops are clean and disin-fected before handling any food.

    Sponges and dishcloths in the kitchen have been found to be con-taminated with the most fecal bacte-ria. Change dishcloths frequently and use hot soapy water or disinfectant to clean kitchen surfaces. Before pro-duce is sold, it may have been con-taminated by unclean water, animals, fecal matter, etc. So before you peel fruits or vegetables, take the time to rinse them thoroughly to remove bacteria.

    Wrap all raw meat, poultry and seafood separately from other food. Use separate cutting boards and knives and disinfect and wash them thoroughly with soap and hot water before and after usage. Once your tools and ingredients are clean, then you can prepare meals safely.

    Safely defrost meat in the refrigera-tor, in a microwave, or under cold water in a package that will not leak,

    not on a counter at room tempera-ture. Everyone should wash their hands before eating and wash or dis-card any food that falls on the floor.

    If you make extra food, freeze it in small portions so its easy to defrost. If leftovers are stored in the refrigera-tor, eat them within three or four days.

    When eating out at restaurants, remember that someone else pur-chased the ingredients, cleaned the kitchen, and cooked the food. Look around: are the tables, cloths, uten-sils and servers clean and tidy? If not, leave. Checking out the bathroom will give you a definite sense of the establishments cleanliness and whether it is a priority.

    Although our food production chain is complex and provides vari-ous opportunities for contamination and growth of pathogens, be proac-tive and use these precautions so you dont become a victim of foodborne diseases.

    Left to right: Mary Elhafy, Geneva Hicks, Trudy Dodson, Edyth Conrad and St. Marys Survivorship Program Coordinator Debra Hesse.

    and Hearts in Grand Junction began donating them. Since then, there are several church groups and five quilt groups that sew and knit for the program.

    Anyone can donate fabric and pad-ding to the St. Marys Survivorship Resource Center, located at the St. Marys Advanced Medicine Pavilion, 750 Wellington Ave. Use entrance 25 on the first floor. For more informa-tion, call 298-2351.

    By Michelle Hooper

    St. Marys Hospitals Survivorship Program continues to receive lap robes from local quilting clubs in Grand Junction. Approximately 30 of these blankets are given to new patients at St. Marys each month.

    It really means a lot to patients, knowing someone cares about them, Program Coordinator Debra Hesse said. It takes hours to make these quilts. Patients continue to bring the quilts in with them when they come in for their treatments.

    Quilters from a local assisted living facility, recently donated nearly 30 lap robes.

    The trend started about seven years ago when quilters of Caring Hands

    Lap robes comfort cancer patients

  • 14 www.BeaconSeniorNews.com March 2013

    PArT 3 of 3By Jan Weeks

    Now that your book has taken shape, its time to decide whether or not to publish it. With the skyrocketing popularity of websites like CreateSpace, Lulu, and other self-publishing sites, anyone with enough patience and cash can produce a satisfying product.

    Consider also independent pub-lishing. An independent publisher charges you for services and printing, but you dont have to design a cover or hire an artist to do it. Formatting becomes the publishers headache. Even though it is a fee-based publishing option, the publisher takes responsibility for all aspects of the project, providing layout and design, content and copy-editing, materials, size and pricing, copyright registration, production and delivery.

    Reputable independent publish-ers do not take on any project that comes along. They want to produce a quality product and are picky about the projects they put their imprints on. Check references. When you

    So, you want to write a book? The nuts and bolts of writing

    find an indie publisher, talk to authors who have published with the company. Indies will also guide you through the marketing process, which is as important, if not more so, than getting your book written and published.

    Patti Hoff owns Brass Frog Book-works, a local independent publish-ing firm. She also hosts Page Ped-dlers, informational get-togethers that discuss various facets of the writing process, including independent pub-

    lishing, from 9:30 a.m.-11:30 a.m. on the first Saturday of the month at The Artful Cup, 3090 N. 12th St.

    For more information, email Hoff at [email protected].

    Maybe you want to submit your work to a traditional publishing company. There are many traditional publishers nationwide, but Pendant Publishing is one located in Grand Junction. If you choose to go that route, youd better have a thick skin. Even professional, prolific writers get rejected many more times than they get accepted. Your book must be the best it can be, and for that, you need input from others. And by others, I

    dont mean your mother or your best friend. A critique group made up of other writers aiming for publication is invaluable. Such groups can meet either online or in person. Many novice authors shy away from others opinions, reluctant to be told that their babies are ugly. But an authentic critique group will help you make your baby beautiful. The sidebar to this story shows how a good critique group functions.

    Some critique groups are made up of people who want to feel superior at your expense. A friend of mine experienced the following comments from a screenwriting group: Its a third-rate imitation of Dickens. Ive never read a bigger piece of crap! If you encounter such hostility and personal attacks, flee the group im-mediately. This is not a critiqueits an assault.

    A real critique group will honor your words while making sugges-tions to improve them. Members will tell you both strengths and weakness-es, and the analysis will always stress that you are the ultimate authority. Just because someone says that par-ticular passage doesnt work for him doesnt mean you should take it out. But if everyone in the group says the same thing, its time to rethink that particular scene.

    Dont take rejection personally. The agent or editor may have just taken on a very similar project, or your book may not fit their list. Some writers have a policy of sending out a manuscript to a different editor as soon as its returned so that it doesnt languish in a file drawer or hard drive, fading into oblivion.

    Electronic submissions have almost done away with the need to print page after page and pay huge post-age costs. Each publisher will specify guidelines on its website. Most accept Word documents as attachments.

    Youll hear the word query tossed around in any writers circle. That simply means telling the publisher

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    Critique or criticism?Critique groups create a safe atmo-sphere in which to practice your craft, but leave your ego at the door. Rely on other writers to make your book better. Dont be alarmed by comments about how you can improve your writing. Its your work and you are the final arbiter of what goes and what stays. However, if several reviewers have the same problem with a section of your work, you might want to rethink your position.

    Not all critique groups are created equal. The good ones will have the fol-lowing qualities.

    Comments are always about the writing, never about personalities. Criticism should always be constructive and should point out strong areas as well as weak writing. Nasty comments and per-sonal attacks should never be tolerated.

    Members should have at least two weeks to look over submissions before commenting. Listening to writers read their submission aloud or trying to thoughtfully comment on a 10-page story youve had only a few minutes to look over isnt fair to the writer or the reviewer.

    Members should be at approximately the same level of writing competence. When abilities range from novice to pro-fessional, its like putting fourth graders into a college class and expecting them to flourish.

    Members commit to the group and attend regularly, just as if they were showing up for a job. Which they are, if theyre serious about their craft. Submissions are handed to the other members on time.

    For more information on the Colorado West Writers Workshop, a local critique group, or to obtain a copy of its guide-lines, contact me at 255-6679 or [email protected].

    The local chapter of Rocky Mountain Fiction Writers is also starting a critique group. You can contact Vicki Law at 497-6452 or [email protected]. The club offers workshops, confer-ences, and other writers assistance.

    about your book in a short paragraph or two, mentioning why youre the one who can best tell the story, giv-ing a brief biography of yourself, and listing writing credits and awards. If you dont have any published articles or stories, dont be dismayed. Many agents and editors are open to well-written manuscripts from first-time authors.

    Editors are picky about manuscript format. The standard is one-inch mar-gins all around and double-spaced 12-point Times New Roman or Cou-rier font. Include a header with your last name, the title of your book in all caps, and the page number. Dont use fancy fonts or colors. Theyre sure signs of a beginning writer. Like-wise, dont decorate the envelope, if submitting through snail mail, with stickers, smiley faces, or other things more appropriate to a kindergarten classroom. An editor at a writers conference told of a woman who had stamped little doggie footprints all over the envelope and started her query with I hope youll paws long enough to read my novel. Guess where that submission went. If you want to be taken as a professional, act like one and format your manu-script to industry standards.

    Now that youve finished your book, how do you find a publisher? Writers Market and Literary Mar-ketplace list thousands of magazine and book publishers and are well worth the $40 or so. You can also get Writers Market online, complete with submission tracker and other nifty extras. Study books in your genre, then Google the publishers websites. Almost all of them will have submission guidelines. Sub-scribe to free e-newsletters, such as Funds for Writers.

    Finally, believe in your book. Youve written, revised, taken advice, and followed accepted standards for publishing. Now its time to let your beautified baby make its way into the world for others to read and coo over.

    Jan Weeks is the local author of three traditionally published novels and one self-published e-novel. To contact her, visit www.weekslit.com or email [email protected].

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  • 16 laughing MattErS www.BeaconSeniorNews.com March 2013

    Laughing MattersThe pastors new teeth Submitted by Karen Jones

    A pastor went to the dentist to get a set of false teeth. At church on Sunday, he talked for only eight min-utes. The second Sunday, he talked for only 10 minutes. The following Sunday, he talked for two hours and 48 minutes. The congregation had to mob him to get him down from the pulpit.

    When they asked him what hap-pened, the pastor explained that the first Sunday, his gums hurt so bad that he couldnt talk for more than eight minutes. The second Sunday, his gums hurt too much to talk for more than 10 minutes. But the third Sunday, he put his wifes teeth in by mistake and he couldnt shut up.

    Got stuck Submitted by Joseph Glade

    A truck driver was driving along the freeway and noticed a sign that read: Low Bridge Ahead. Before he

    knew it, the bridge was right in front of him and his truck became wedged under it. Cars were backed up for miles. Finally, a police car came up. The cop got out and said, Got stuck, huh?

    The truck driver said, No, I was delivering this bridge and I ran out of gas.

    Somethings fishy Submitted by Pete Hughes

    A redneck with a bucket full of live fish was approached by a game warden as he started to drive his boat away from the lake.

    May I see your fishing license, please? the game warden asked.

    I dont need none of them there papers, the redneck said. These here are my pet fish.

    Pet fish?Yep, the redneck said. Once a

    week, I bring these here fish of mine down to the lake and let them swim around for a while. Then when I

    whistle, they swim right back into my net and I take them home.

    What a line of baloney, the game warden said. Youre under arrest.

    Its the truth! the redneck pro-tested. Ill show ya! We do this all the time.

    Prove it!The redneck released the fish into

    the lake and stood and waited. After a few minutes, the game warden said, Well?

    Well what? said the redneck.When are you going to call them

    back?Call who back?The fish! the warden replied.What fish?

    Brain-eating bacteria Submitted by Bob Breazeale

    Did you hear about the politi-cian that contracted a brain-eating bacteria? He managed to survive. The doctor said the bacteria died of starvation.

    Over the hill Submitted by Charles Gross

    You may be a little further over the

    hill than you thought when:It takes two walk light cycles to

    get across the street.Mail delivery is the main social

    activity of the day.You find yourself worn out while

    wrestling an easy-open pill bottle.The department stores seem to

    carry clothing styles for a much younger crowd.

    A new pair of trousers comes with a lifetime guarantee.

    Even the handicap ramp looks too steep.

    The volume on the TV set has cracked the ceiling plaster.

    Your sunglasses cover most of your face.

    You have big plans, but cant re-member what they are.

    Magic milk Submitted by James Birdsill

    In an Irish convent, the Mother Su-perior lay dying. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her last journey comfortable. They tried giving her warm milk to drink but she refused it.

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    One of the nuns took the glass back to the kitchen. Then she remembered a bottle of Irish whiskey she had received for Christmas one year. She opened the bottle and poured a gen-erous amount into the warm milk.

    Back at Mother Superiors bed, they held the glass to her lips. The frail nun drank a little, then a little more and before they knew it, she had finished the whole glass down to the last drop.

    As her eyes brightened, the nuns thought it would be a good opportu-nity to have one last talk with their spiritual leader.

    Mother, the nuns said. Please give us some of your wisdom before you leave us.

    She raised herself up in bed, looked at them and said, Dont sell that cow.

    I love my grandkids Submitted by Jacque Stafford

    Grandpa is the smartest man on earth! He teaches me good things, but I dont get to see him enough to get as smart as him.

    A dogs cat nap Submitted by Danny Snow

    An older, tired-looking dog wan-dered into my yard one day. I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home and was well taken care of. He calmly came over to me and I gave him a few pats on the head. He then followed me into my house, slowly walked down the hall, curled up in the corner and fell asleep.

    An hour later, he went to the door and I let him out.

    The next day he was back. He greeted me in the yard, walked inside and resumed his spot in the hall and again slept for about an hour. This continued off and on for several weeks.

    Curious, I pinned a note to his collar: I would like to find out who the owner of this wonderful, sweet, dog is and ask if you are aware that almost every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap.

    The next day, the dog arrived for his nap with a different note pinned to his collar. The note read, He lives in a home with six children, two un-

    der the age of 3. Hes trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?

    Kids in church Submitted by Susan Capps

    Reese was overheard reciting the Lords Prayer in church: Our Father, who does art in heaven, Harold is his name

    Leslies version of the Lords Prayer was: And forgive us our trash bas-kets, as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets.

    Brian was overheard praying: Lord, if you cant make me a better boy, dont worry about it. Im having a real good time like I am.

    After the christening of his baby brother in church, Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy re-plied, That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, but I want to stay with you guys.

    A Sunday school teacher asked her students on the way to the chapel why it was important to be quiet in church. One bright little girl named Sandy replied, Because people are sleeping.

    Kevin and Ryans mother was preparing pancakes for her sons. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw an opportunity for a moral lesson.

    If Jesus were sitting here, he would say, Let my brother have the first pancake. I can wait.

    Kevin turned to his younger broth-er and said, Ryan, you be Jesus.

    John and his father were at the beach. John ran up to his father, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore where a seagull lay dead in the sand.

    Daddy, what happened to him? John asked.

    He died and went to heaven, his father replied.

    John thought for a moment and then said, Did God throw him back down?

    Send your funniest jokes to: [email protected]

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  • 18 travEl www.BeaconSeniorNews.com March 2013

    By Victor Block

    You want to spend two weeks on Rhodes? our Greek friend asked. Youll go out of your mind.

    Those words made my wife Fyllis and me conclude that we had made a mis-take, but it was too late. Airline tick-ets had been bought and hotels had been booked.

    Fast forward two months. After our trip, we recalled that warning and agreed that we had been wrong. We should have stayed on Rhodes longer.

    Hearing the word Greece can conjure up multiple images. White-washed villages gleaming in the sun. Seas that range in a spectrum of color from light turquoise to dark blue. Ar-cheological sites that trace the roots of much of Western civilization.

    Rhodes has it all, conveniently packed into an area about one-half the size of Long Island, New York that allows visitors to discover its allures and attractions at a leisurely pace.

    The entire island is an outdoor mu-seum of reminders of peoples who have passed through. That includes the seafaring Phoenicians, Persians, Ottoman Turks and those from the Roman Empire.

    The city of Rhodes is perched at the northernmost tip of the island where an ancient settlement rose more than 2,400 years ago. Monu-ments from every period since then stand in silent testimony to its long history. The old walled section is the largest inhabited medieval town in Europe. Ancient buildings and forti-fications manifest an atmosphere of the Middle Ages as authentic as that found anywhere.

    Many of the most impressive

    structures date back to the period between 1307 and 1522 A.D., when the Order of Knights of St. John of Jerusalem ruled and left impos-ing evidence of their presence. The Street of the Knights, lined by former residences, leads to the fortress-like Grand Masters Palace. An archaeo-logical museum is located in what served as the main hospital of the knights. Hippocrates Square, the Old Towns main shopping area, is lined by imposing stone buildings that today house restaurants and bars.

    Despite its population of only about 1,100 people, Lindos vies with Rhodes as a magnet for visitors. Its a quintessential Greek village of white houses, dazzling in the sun-light, perched on the side of a steep hill. Looming above is the acropolis, a cliff topped by graceful columns that are remnants of the Temple of Athena. Also intriguing is an outdoor auditorium carved into a rocky cliff that could seat 1,800 spectators.

    Located near the middle of Rhodes, Lindos is well situated for day trips to beaches and other attractions. Like many destinations in Europe, Rhodes is lined by beaches that range from soft sand to rounded pebbles. The best are strung along the east coast of the island.

    Despite the allure of sand and sun, Fyllis and I managed to tear our-selves away to delve into a mixed bag of historic sights. Driving through the countryside, we followed roads that snake over rolling hills and low mountains. Landscapes vary from

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    arid, rocky terrain near the coastline to verdant forests in the interior.

    A stroll through the extensive ruins of ancient Kamiros intro-duces the lifestyle of its original inhabitants during the fifth and sixth centuries B.C. The site spills down a hillside overlooking the sea. On the top level stood a temple complex of Athena and a covered reservoir, large enough to supply water to several hun-dred families through a network of terra cotta pipes.

    The main settlement, on a lower terrace, consisted of a grid of streets and houses adorned with mosaic floors and painted wall decorations. The re-mains of public baths include hot and cold chambers, and an un-derground system for heating the rooms.

    Equally inviting is contemporary life encountered in tiny unspoiled mountain villages, which in many ways has changed little over generations. Many town folk cling stub-bornly and proudly to their traditional ways.

    Residents of Arch-angelos are known as master artisans who make pottery and weave carpets and tapestries using the same time-hon-ored methods as their forebears.

    Anyone driving into the village of Appolonia need only follow the won-derful aroma to find the little bakery of the same name. If youre ever there, be sure to sample melekouni, a sweet pastry revered in Homers texts, and spoon sweet, a popular Greek des-sert flavored with a variety of fruits.

    Kritinia is one of the prettiest villag-

    es on Rhodes. Clinging to a hillside, the town of about 550 inhabit-ants offers panoramic views of the sea in one direction and in the other, of Mount Attavy-ros, the tallest spot on the island at 3,985 feet.

    For an excellent meal and opportunities to meet friendly locals, stop at any of the small tavernas that you pass when driving between and in villages. The owners often are the cooks and wait staff, and even if they speak no English, they go out of their way to help you order. Several times we were invited into the kitchen to see what was available and point to our selection.

    As ubiquitous as tavernas throughout Rhodes are churches, and they come in all sizes. While the major religious edifices at-tract most visitors, Fyl-lis and I found equally inviting the tiny white chapels that are scat-tered around the island. Many of these minus-cule structures can accommodate only a handful of worshippers.

    Those tiny places of worship stand in con-trast to large cathedrals built when Rhodes was

    a power in the ancient world. The atmosphere in Rhodes and Lindos is very different from that experienced in villages elsewhere on the island. That diversity accounts for much of the appeal of Rhodes, and introduces those who visit there to most of what Greece has to offer.

    For more information call the Greek National Tourism Organization at 212-421-5777 or log onto www.visitgreece.gr.

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    * We will quote your home and auto insurance together against your current coverage. If we cant beat the price of your current coverage, we will give you a $25 gift card. Terms and Conditions Apply.

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    Must-have insurance plansBy Jason Alderman

    Many people adopt a penny wise, pound foolish mentality when it comes to buying insurance. When trying to lower expenses, some will drop or reduce needed coverage, gambling that they wont become se-riously ill, suffer a car accident or fall victim to a fire or other catastrophe. But all it takes is one serious uncov-ered (or under-covered) incident to potentially wipe you out financially.

    Here are insurance policies no household should be without:

    Medical. This is the most criticaland unfortunately, the most expen-sivecoverage you need. When comparing plans, consider:

    Are your doctors in their provider networks? If not, can you afford out-of-network charges or are you willing to find new doctors?

    Are your medications covered under the plans drug formularies?

    Do they restrict specialized ser-vices you might need like maternity, mental health or weight reduction treatments?

    If you choose catastrophic cover-age to lower premiums, can you af-ford the high deductible in case of an accident or major illness?

    Homeowner/renter. Faulty plumb-ing, theft and home-accident lawsuits are only a few catastrophes that could leave you without possessions or homeless. A few tips:

    Actual cash value coverage repairs or replaces belongings, minus the deductible and depreciation, whereas replacement cost cover-age replaces items in todays dollars. Depreciation can significantly lower values, so replacement coverage is probably worth the extra expense.

    Jewelry, art, computers and luxu-ry items usually require additional coverage.

    Review coverage periodically to adjust for inflation, home improve-ments, new possessions, change in marital/family status, etc.

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    quotes since policies may have vary-ing provisions.

    Vehicle. You probably cant even get a drivers license without demon-strating proof of insurance. Consider these coverage options:

    Liability pays if you cause an ac-cident that injures others or damages their car or property.

    Uninsured motorist pays for damage caused to you or your car by an uninsured motorist.

    Collision pays for damage to your car resulting from a collision and comprehensive pays for dam-age caused by things like theft, van-dalism and fire. However, they only pay up to the actual cash value (ACV) minus deductibles. Because the ACV for older cars is low, repairs often cost more than the car is worth.

    Common ways to lower premi-ums include: raising deductibles, discounts for good drivers, exceeding age 55 or installing security systems, comparison shopping, and buying homeowner and car insurance from the same carrier.

    Life insurance. If youre single with no dependents, you may get by with minimal or no life insurance. But if your family depends on your income, experts recommend buying coverage worth at least five to 10 times annual pay. Other considerations:

    Many employers offer life insur-ance, but if youre young and healthy you may be able to get a better deal on your own.

    After your kids are grown you may be able to lower your coverage, although carefully consider your spouses retirement needs.

    You probably dont need life insurance on your children, but you might want spousal coverage if you depend on each others income.

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    Dont gamble your future financial stability by passing on vital insurance coverage. The odds arent in your favor.

  • March 2013 www.BeaconSeniorNews.com 21

    By Ernie Witham

    To wrinkle or not to wrinkle, that is the question. Whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous frowning, or to bear Botox against a forehead of troubles and, by inject-ing, end them. (Bill Shakespeare, as channeled to Ernie Witham)

    Yes, Botox is the word of the day, kids, and by kids I mean fellow baby boomers and upcoming Gen-Xers, who feel aging is for wine and cheese, not for people.

    The way I hear it, sales of Prozac have been depressing and there was a downturn in Viagra, so the phar-maceutical industry had to come up with a new way to make money. Fortunately, they just happened to have all this botulism toxin hanging around taking up lab space. So they renamed it, bottled it, and sent it out to doctors offices with free logo cof-fee cups, and voila! Its now unfur-rowing knitted brows.

    Matter of fact, Botox has become so popular as a wrinkle remover, it is rumored that casting directors in Hollywood are having a hard time finding actors that can frown. There is also a limited supply of prospects with smiling eyes and crinkling noses. Therefore, studio execs are now scrambling to find movie scripts

    about zombies and other featureless creatures.

    There are, of course, many advan-tages to paralyzing your skin so that it cant form wrinkles. For instance, say you have teenagers. One of their main goals in life is to make you, the parent, age practically before their eyes. But post-treatment, the scene might play like this:

    Ive decided to drop out of high school and open a body piercing op-eration, your teenager says defiantly.

    Thats nice, dear. I hear there are al-ways openings, you respond, fraught with indistinguishable emotion.

    Didnt you hear me? Im going to buy a tent and travel like a gypsy from rock concert to rock concert, she yells, staring into your unmoving face.

    Dont forget to pack extra scarves, you say, quelling the tears that lie beneath your frozen facial muscles.

    Forget it! You want me to go. In-stead, Im going to stay right here and study hard and become successful.

    Whatever makes you happy, you say as she storms out, a look of relief not lighting up your face.

    Botox could also be very helpful if you were, say, a professional poker player.

    Youre bluffing.

    Botox is only skin deepYes, I am.Aha! So youre not bluffing.No, Im not.Aha! I mean... Oh hell, here, just

    take my money.And what about politicians? Can

    you imagine an entire campaign of stone-faced Mitt Romney look-a-likes?

    Despite all these obvious benefits, I have not decided whether I should Botox my forehead, collagen my cheeks, dermabrase my nose, and laser my chin, or whether I should simply let my face continue its slide into my neck. My chest is quickly settling into my groin area and my buttocks are now a lot closer to the backs of my knees than ever.

    Still, it does seem a shame not to take advantage of modern medicine, and Id certainly like to be just as young and nondescript as the next person. So I called my HMO to see what my options were.

    Universal Health. One treatment fits all. How can I help you?

    My name is Ernie and Id like to become timeless.

    Sorry. We dont cover taxidermy.How about Botox and collagen?I said: We dont cover taxidermy.Dang. Guess that settles it. Al-

    though, I do wonder what I would look like with a wrinkleless face.

    Oh my god, my wife said upon her arrival home from work.

    Whataya think? I asked, pulling the final piece of duct tape tight and sticking it to the back of my neck. Do I look more appealing?

    For a few minutes she just stared into my stretched open eyes, then finally she sighed, I know I have said this before, but you really, really need to get out more.

    Okay, I said, expressionlessly, although, deep inside, I was frowning.

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