what

By a bunch of freelance copywriters

I have an urgent job...!

Translation:

I am shit at timelines and keeping to them

Tell me about what you do

Translation:

I haven't read your website

There's great reward for the right person

Translation:

I don't have budget to pay you

I like to get to know who I am working with

Translation: I haven't quite worked out what I am doing and want to use you as a sounding board

This thing is going to be bigger than Facebook. We want you to take the journey with us and reap the rewards

Translation: I may never pay or credit you, unless you lawyer-up

BIGGER THAN

I've been flat out/in the office on my own/the dog's got a cold

Translation: I haven't been arsed to read your proposal/your first draft, or put in the starting deposit

It won't need rewriting, just a bit of editing

Translation: It's utterly appalling and should be deleted and never spoken of again.

Please call me to discuss

Translation: I don't really have a clue yet what I'm doing so I'd like to talk rather than write so I can stay vague.

I want you to write copy like my competitor. But not as my competitor, as me.

Translation: I am really not sure why I am in business or why you should choose me over the other guy.

I have done a rough draft to get you started

Translation: I have cut + pasted my top competitor's content into a Word doc for you

Would you mind taking a quick look at this

Translation: Would you please work on my project for free?

We don't have any competitors

Translation: I'm too lazy to have done any market research.

None of my marketing seems to be working

Translation: I've tried nothing and I'm out of ideas

Can we meet to discuss the project?

Translation: I'm going to pick your expensive brains for the price of a coffee and then do all the work myself to save money

Can we do this over the phone?

Translation: I don’t want to put it in writing so I can quibble about specifications later.

I have an idea for a website and...

Translation: I want to be in business for myself, I just haven’t thought of the business yet

UNASHAMEDLY CREATIVE

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