appelbaum training institute
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Copyright 2021 ©Appelbaum Training Institute, All Rights Reserved
www.atiseminars.org * Email: [email protected] * Phone: 800-23-CHILD
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Appelbaum Training Institute 800-23-CHILD
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Copyright 2021 ©Appelbaum Training Institute, All Rights Reserved
www.atiseminars.org * Email: [email protected] * Phone: 800-23-CHILD
Appelbaum Training Institute 1-800-23-CHILD
www.atiseminars.org
Welcome!
We are so glad you are watching us today!!! This seminar has been
designed specifically for you in your work with children. It is packed
with information and strategies to make your work with children easier.
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Sincerely yours,
Marty Appelbaum and Maryln Appelbaum
This handout book is owned and copyrighted by the Appelbaum Training Institute. Unless a page in this book says
it may be copied, NO PAGES IN THIS BOOK MAY BE COPIED without permission of the Appelbaum
Institute. This book may NOT be used or reused for any type of training. Thank you for your cooperation.
We hope you enjoy the sayings at the bottom of most pages that we wrote just for you.
They were written to inspire and motivate you in your important work with children.
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Parents over-indulge children 3 ways:
1) Giving them too much of everything.
2) Over-nurturing,
3) Being too (Bredehoft, 2019).
Children who are over-indulged typically: Have everything they want.
Have no chores.
Have no rules.
Are not expected to learn skills.
Overindulging children can affect child development.
Children who are overindulged grow up to be at risk for: • Not knowing the difference between needs and wants;
• Needing constant stimulation and entertainment from others;
• Being deficient in life skills which interferes with performing daily tasks;
• Not taking responsibility for their own actions;
• Not learning important social skills which lead to interpersonal boundary issues and decision
making problems;
• Lower self-efficacy (a sense of feeling incapable of dealing effectively with life problems); and
• Overeating, overspending, and dysfunctional thinking (increased depressive thoughts).
• Paradoxically, overindulged children can develop an overblown sense of self-importance which
can lead to problems at school, on the job, and/or in relationships (Bredehoft & Clark).
When Working with Children Who Have Been Over-Indulged Know that you can make changes in their behavior.
It will take time and patience.
If a child is acting spoiled, it is a learned behavior.
Children are just doing what they have been taught to do by having their inappropriate
behavior reinforced.
Children have to learn:
______________
Empathy
Kindness
Responsibility
“Whatever behavior you put your attention on, will expand and grow.”
“I Want It Now! – Help for Overindulged Children!
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Copyright 2021 ©Appelbaum Training Institute, All Rights Reserved
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10 classroom-tested strategies that work to reduce anger, teach children better
self-regulation, how to ask what they want appropriately,
AND, just as important, how to be okay when they do not immediately receive what they want.
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Copyright 2021 ©Appelbaum Training Institute, All Rights Reserved
www.atiseminars.org * Email: [email protected] * Phone: 800-23-CHILD
Start the Day the Best Way – Mornings Made Easy
Start Your Day the Appelbaum Way Right before you walk in the room, think of what you are ______________________.
Bring your smile.
Start with a clean and well-organized classroom (NAEYC).
Add homey touches like a rocking chair
Have cubbies with children’s pictures.
If you are required to wear a mask, add a smiley face and have your picture.
Have photos on the walls of children and their families.
How to Handle the Transition from Home to School Some children have separation anxiety. This is excessive fear or anxiety about separating
from home or an attachment figure (Separation Anxiety).
Signs of separation anxiety you may see:
• Persistent distress when anticipating or experiencing separation from parents or
caregivers.
• Persistent worry about losing an attachment figure to illness, accident, or death.
• Fear of somewhere new without the attachment figure.
• Fear of being alone without the attachment figure.
• Fear of going to sleep without being near the attachment figure.
• Nightmares about separation
• Physical complaints including headaches, stomachaches when away from attachment
figure.
“Be gentle with parents and new children.
Change can be tougher but with your love and care, you can make it easier.”
Encourage the Parents to Have a Quick Good-Bye Routine.
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www.atiseminars.org * Email: [email protected] * Phone: 800-23-CHILD
Have Morning Rituals to Help the Child Feel Better
Greet the child warmly.
• Greet and read.
• Acknowledge their emotions. Looks like you are sad.”
• Soothe the child.
• Have a child greeter that gives an air high five.
• Wear you best face.
• Get the child involved in something to help get past tears.
• Have a snack for children who arrive hungry.
• Play music as children enter.
• Start the morning right by having fun things for the children to do when they arrive.
• Have different stations set up with activities that are engaging.
Change them regularly do children do not get bored.
o Sleepyhead Station
o Craft Station
o Book Station
o Sticker Story Station: Provide paper that is folded that makes a book. Have stickers
on the table. Children place stickers on each page to create a story. They read their
stories to their friends when finished.
o Manipulative and Learning Toy Station
If the Child Is New to Your Class:
Do the things already mentioned, but add:
Welcome drawings from other children
Heart stickers
Special pal
_________________________ box
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www.atiseminars.org * Email: [email protected] * Phone: 800-23-CHILD
During the Morning Circle, Sing Songs that are Warm, Fun, and Create Connection
Show Me Your Hands
Show me your hands, close them up tight.
Put them behind you, way out of sight.
Show me your hands, make a big clap.
Put them down gently in y-o-u-r l-a-p.
It’s Time to Come to Circle Time (Tune: Did You Ever See a Lassie?)
it’s time to come to circle, to circle, to circles
It’s time to come to circle, to circle, right now.
There’s…., and ….., and ….., and….
It’s time to come to circle, to circle right now.
What's Your Name? (Tune: Clean Up Song)
Hello! Hello! What's Your Name? What's Your Name?
Hello! Hello! What's Your Name? What's Your Name?
My name is __________ ___________! That's my name! That's my name!
My name is __________ ___________! That's my name! That's my name!
Repeat for each child's name.
Here We Are Together (Tune: Did You Ever See a Lassie?))
Here we are together, together, together. Here we are together, together again.
Here’s…., and…., and …., and ...... Here we are together, together again.
Sing until all children have been named.
The Morning Train (Tune: If You’re Happy and You Know It)
The good morning train is coming, how are you. Choo Choo!
The good morning train is coming, how are you. Choo Choo!
The good morning train is coming. The good morning train is coming.
The good morning train is coming how are you. Choo Choo!
And we all say hello to ___________ (Child says choo choo after name is called)
And we all say hello to ___________ (Child says choo choo after name is called)
Repeat for each child's name.
And we say hello to everybody how are you! Choo Choo!
Give a Cheer (Tune: Farmer in the Dell)
_______ is here today. _______ is here today.
Let's give a cheeer. Let's give a cheer because ______ is her today. Yay!
Repeat for each child's name.
At the end of each day, do this, so that you end in a positive way, and children don’t arrive in
fight mode the next day.
1.
2.
3.
“Believe in yourself and remember that you are a difference maker in the lives of children.”
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Copyright 2021 ©Appelbaum Training Institute, All Rights Reserved
www.atiseminars.org * Email: [email protected] * Phone: 800-23-CHILD
Words to Avoid with When Children Don’t Want to Listen
The average child hears ________ negative commands a day compared to _______
positive ones (How to be positive.)
• Don’t + verb. . Children only hear the action word.
• “Who did it? or “Who started it?” Children will generally not say, “I did.”
• “Why?” If you ask a toddler or preschooler why they did something, they often don’t know the
answer, and will make an answer up. Have you ever said any of the following 4?
o “Why can’t you be more like….?”
o “How many times have I told you….?”
o “Because I said so!”
o “Why do you always do that?”
• “NO!”
These are all words that are discouraging rather than encouraging. When used a lot, children
start to think they are bad. A child who thinks that he or she is bad, will feel badly and start
acting more and more that way (Appelbaum,).
How to Turn “No” into “Yes”
Watch how often you say, “No.”
Practice “Positive” commands instead of negative ones.
Example: Instead of, “Don’t run,” say, “Please use your walking feet.”
Find opportunities to say, “Yes.”
Example: Instead of saying, “No, you can’t play outside today because it’s raining, say,
“Tomorrow is going to be sunny so you will be able to play outside.”
Example: Instead of saying, “Don’t color on the walls,” say, “You can color on this
paper or paint on the easel. Which do you prefer?”
Four Styles of Coping When You Have a Problem
Aggressive: This occurs when the child does something, and you become angry and yell or
punish or say something you wish you had not said.
Passive: It’s the opposite of aggressive. It’s doing nothing and hoping the problem will go
away.
Here are some passive things a teacher may say.
“Is it all right if everyone is quiet now?”
“Okay, if that’s what you want to do.”
“Sarah, you are so sweet.” This is stated while Sarah is making a mess.
People who are passive hold in their feelings and what they want.
“Be careful what you say. Words are powerful.”
How to Talk to Kids so They Listen
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Copyright 2021 ©Appelbaum Training Institute, All Rights Reserved
www.atiseminars.org * Email: [email protected] * Phone: 800-23-CHILD
Passive-Aggressive: People who are passive-aggressive, are passive and hold in their feelings
and what they want. They do this for long periods of time until finally, the are unable to stand it
a second longer. The smallest thing may eventually set them off, and they explode with
aggressiveness.
Assertive: It is an appropriate way to express your needs and wants. When you are assertive,
you respect your own rights to have feelings and to express them, but you do so in a way that it
respects the rights of others too.
Power Talk:
Power Talk is a key element of being assertive. It’s a way to talk to children so they listen. It is
a way of asking for what you want and at the same time respecting the dignity of each child.
In order to use power talk and to be assertive, you have to:
Cool down.
Focus on what you want to happen.
Five Methods of Using Power Talk
• I Need Statement "I need it quiet now." "I need you to sit down." "I need you to stop.”
• Statement of Problem and Then Need
"The blocks are on the floor." Pause “I would appreciate if you would put the blocks away."
“Payton, there’s crayons on the floor ….I need you to pick them up….now
• Understanding but Persistent
"I can see that you are having fun, but I need the blocks put away and cleaned up now."
• I Feel Statement
MY FEELINGS “I feel…”
WHAT I SEE “when I see…”
MY NEED “I need…”
• Asking Questions
"I'm confused." "Please explain." "What do you mean?"
Five Components of Power Talk.
Eye Contact – Refrain from staring. Simply make eye contact when possible or appropriate.
Body Language – Shoulders, arms, and hands.
Facial Expression – Make sure you are not smiling when experiencing a problem behavior.
Voice Tone - The louder your voice, the louder children answer back.
Words - The longer your sentences are, the more the child will "tune you out." Keep it simple.
“Words matter.”
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Copyright 2021 ©Appelbaum Training Institute, All Rights Reserved
www.atiseminars.org * Email: [email protected] * Phone: 800-23-CHILD
More Positive Methods to Help Children Listen the First Time
The Components of Voice Tone and Words
Have your voice get lower and deeper.
Speak clearly.
Alternate your voice tone, sometimes speaking rapidly and sometimes slowly.
Use power pauses.
Speak enthusiastically.
Speak dramatically and confidently.
Be on the child’s eye level (Appelbaum, 2010).
Words can hurt. They can do damage to the self-esteem of children. Before you talk to
children, it is important to cool down when you are angry.
Example:
“Kailey, (Power Pause) After the child does it, say:
I need (power Pause) “Thank you.”
you to (Power Pause
put the toys away (Power Pause)
now.”
Remember: Be careful of the setting. You never want to embarrass the child.
Be careful of the timing. It needs to be a time when the child is calm so the child is in the right
emotional framework.
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Copyright 2021 ©Appelbaum Training Institute, All Rights Reserved
www.atiseminars.org * Email: [email protected] * Phone: 800-23-CHILD
Storytelling - Educational Brain Food for Toddlers and Preschoolers
Storytelling is educational brain food because it enhances:
o Imagination
o Learning new ideas (Huff, 2009)
o Vocabulary
o Personal connections
o Sequencing skills
o Making predictions
o Attentive listening skills
o Comprehension
o Spontaneity
Storytelling Tips to Guarantee Success for Toddlers and Preschoolers
Use the U-Shaped Circle.
Use fun strategies to get the children to listen.
Read the book ahead so that you know it.
Practice first (Huff)/
Be excited about what you are reading.
Be dramatic when you read.
Change voices for different characters.
Vary your voice tone, sometimes louder and sometimes softer.
Vary your voice speed, something slow and sometimes fast.
Make the book interactive.
Ask them lots of questions as you go.
Make up a song every now and then as you read.
Emphasize dramatic things. Example: “And they ALL FELL DOWN.”
Tell them a surprise is coming in the story. See if they can guess when the surprise happens.
Incorporate learning sounds.
“Once Upon a Storybook Time”
Language and Literacy Fun
Langu
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www.atiseminars.org * Email: [email protected] * Phone: 800-23-CHILD
Make the book exciting.
Tell them ahead that you’re going to read them a story about….. so they can start to get
excited.
Say things like, “What do you think will happen next?”
Children love repetition so they may want the same book read over and over again.
When you read the same story many times, pause at different parts, and let them fill in a
word from the story.
Use Singing Books.
Incorporate movement.
Role play.
Use stories you make up.
Paint a “word picture story.” Tell a story about something or someone to make a point, and do
it in such a way that children can “see” the characters.
Here’s an example of the beginning of a “word picture story.”
“Little Noah was sitting all alone on a huge bench in the playground. His huge dark eyes were
wet with tears, and more tears were running down his cheek. His thin body was shaking with
sobs. He felt so alone until young Travis wheeled his wheelchair over to the bench. Travis looked
very tiny in that big wheelchair. He couldn’t move his hands well, but he sure knew how to smile.
Travis smiled at Noah and said, “You look sad.”
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www.atiseminars.org * Email: [email protected] * Phone: 800-23-CHILD
Great Ideas for Expanding Language and Literacy through Stories
The Story Box for Preschoolers (Huff) Decorate a shoe box. Add one or two props to the box. During circle time, preschoolers reach in
the box and pull out the items. Together with you, they make up a story about the items.
Change the items often. Add more items as children become more proficient.
Story Bags for Toddlers and Preschoolers
Tell toddlers and preschoolers a simple story using a book. Make copies of several pages of the
book that are in a sequence, and children put the pages in order. (Note, only have a few pages for
toddlers.)
Story Circle for Toddlers and Preschoolers
Have a specific time each day dedicated to telling stories. It is Story Circle Time. Make story
time a part of the daily routine.
Sing a special song to get children to come to the story circle.
Let’s all go to the story circle, the story circle, the story circle.
Let’s go to the story circle, for story time today!
Story Trip for Preschoolers
Decorate a small suitcase. Invite children to bring items from home. Put a different item each
day in the suitcase, and during story time, children make up a fun story about the object.
Story Songs for Toddlers and Preschoolers
1. Play a song for children. Have children sing along.
2. Children draw pictures to go with songs.
3. Take all the pictures children drew and bind them together to create a book to go with the
song.
Great Tools to Enhance Story Time • Fill the dramatic play center with costumes that allow children to be characters from books.
• Add lots of participation by children. Provide materials at the art center for them to make
their own costumes.
• Add musical props, like tambourines and bells, to emphasize pages.
• Children each can have musical instruments and make music to movement parts of books.
• Have children clap their hands when you give a magical signal. This provides movement.
• Repeat phrases. Toddlers and preschoolers love the patterns. Invite toddlers and preschoolers
to chant along when there is repeated text.
• Be dramatic as you turn the page.
• Use puppets as props. Fergie Frog is going to listen to the story too. Let’s watch him and
see when he gets excited and what he says.
• Build excitement for all ages includes infants. Hold books and turn pages for infants. Show
them the pictures and talk about them. It doesn’t matter how much they understand. They
will catch your mood and the joy that comes from reading. (Note: Do this when children are
fed and contented.)
“The foundations for language and literacy are set before children enter school.”
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Copyright 2021 ©Appelbaum Training Institute, All Rights Reserved
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Do You Ever Look at Children and Wonder if Everything is Okay?
Do you have toddlers and preschoolers that have problems with:
Speech Emotional Skills
Movement Social Skills
Cognitive Skills (Developmental Delays)
A developmental delay occurs when a toddler or preschooler does not reach developmental
milestones by the expected time period.
Minor, temporary delays are not a cause for concern. Each child develops at a different pace, and
there is a wide range of what is considered typical.
Use the word _____________________ instead of “normal” when discussing developmental
milestone time frames.
Recognize the Signs of Developmental Delays Delays can happen in all areas of development or in just one or two. Difficulties in one area are
likely to influence development in other areas (How a Child Develops, 2008).
Behavioral Warning Signs Not paying attention or staying focused
Focusing on unusual objects for long periods of time
Avoiding eye-contact
Unusually frustrated when doing simple tasks others same age can do
Staring into space, rocking, or talking to self
Not seeking love and approval from caregivers
Violent behaviors on a daily basis
More aggressive and stubborn than others of same age
Gross Motor Skill Warning Signs Stiff arms and/or legs
Floppy or limp body compared to others of same age
Using one side of the body more than the other
Much clumsier than other children of the same age
Vision Warning Signs Difficulty following objects or people with eyes
Rubbing eyes frequently
Holds head in an unusual position when trying to look at objects
Difficulty finding small objects dropped on floor after 12 months old
Difficulty focusing or making eye contact
Closing one eye when looking at distant objects
One or both eyes seem unusual in size or coloring
“Although you may not have control over a child’s risk factors,
you absolutely can have a positive impact on the child’s future.”
“Is this typical?
Recognize Developmental Delays
and What to Do to Help
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Copyright 2021 ©Appelbaum Training Institute, All Rights Reserved
www.atiseminars.org * Email: [email protected] * Phone: 800-23-CHILD
Hearing Warning Signs Talking in an extremely loud or soft voice
Difficulty responding when called from across the room
Turning body so the same ear is always turned towards sounds
Has difficulty understanding or hearing after 3 years of age
Does not get startled by loud noises
Ears appear small or unusually formed
Does not develop sounds or words appropriate for age
What If You Suspect a Problem?
Be tactful when talking to parents. Do not diagnose a child.
It is a family’s decision whether a child is evaluated or not (Diguette, 2015).
Help the child with your love and acceptance.
You can make simple accommodations without a diagnosis (Diguette, 2015).
Focus your energy on helping the child.
Strategies to Help Children Who are Non-Verbal
or Have Delayed Speech Patterns
1. Make sure the toddler or preschooler can see your mouth as you form words.
2. Encourage speech.
• Talk about things that interest the toddler or preschooler.
• Pay attention to what the child looks at, points at, and plays with.
3. Don’t rush the child (Escalante, 2015).
• Wait for communication. Toddlers and preschoolers with language delays often require more
time to communicate.
• If you speak too soon, you may miss the best thing they’ve ever said.
4. Recast and expand (Escalante, 2015). When the toddler or preschooler says something
incorrectly, say it back correctly.
Ex: The child says, “Me go.” Respond by saying, “I want to go.”
5. Talk during play.
• Use short phrases.
• Repeat words.
• Focus on specific sounds within the words. Point to the area of the throat or mouth that the sound
comes from.
“A child doesn’t need a diagnosis for you to make a difference.
Support the child in the ways you know will help.”
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Copyright 2021 ©Appelbaum Training Institute, All Rights Reserved
www.atiseminars.org * Email: [email protected] * Phone: 800-23-CHILD
Use pictures (Willis, 2009).
Use sign language (Willis, 2009).
• Get a book with signs for toddlers and preschoolers.
• Use websites with sign-language dictionaries.
o www.signingsavvy.com
o www.handspeak.com
o If you go to YouTube and type in “ASL” (American Sign Language) and the
word you want to learn to sign, you can easily find videos to teach yourself.
Use a microphone.
• Some children that are normally quiet will talk into a real or pretend microphone.
• Sing songs!
• Singing songs is a powerful way to help toddlers and preschoolers develop speech.
• Singing helps brain development.
• Talk in a sing-song voice.
• Sing songs where the class echoes you.
• Sing a song and pause for the toddler or preschooler to fill in missing words or sounds.
Offer choices and encourage the child to verbalize an answer.
Help for Children Who are Slower at Grasping Concepts Help All Toddlers and Preschoolers Succeed
Follow the child’s lead. Find toys and activities that interest the child.
Set the stage for success.
• When learning new concepts, give encouragement when children try.
• Provide appropriate and adapted materials (Willis, 2009).
If the toddler is anxious, give the child something to hold or look at that is soothing.
Show a positive attitude towards all toddlers and preschoolers in your class.
Don’t treat children with developmental delays differently.
Some children aren’t in your room only to be taught, but also to teach. They will help the other
children learn to be understanding and compassionate.
Have high but realistic expectations. Always have hope.
“All children need to be loved for who they are, not what they can do.”
19
Copyright 2021 ©Appelbaum Training Institute, All Rights Reserved
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