another kind of godspell

8/11/09

ANOTHER KIND OF GODSPELL

From a musical based upon The Gospel According to St. Matthew

Originally Conceived and Directed by JOHN-MICHAEL TEBELAK

Music and New Lyrics* by STEPHEN SCHWARTZ

*For By My Side Lyrics by JAY HAMBURGER Music by PEGGY GORDON

New Conception and Direction by EDWARD R. COHN

Tinkering and Meddling* by GIBSON DelGIUDICE

*Musical Meddling by DAVINA HAASE

ALEX LACAMOIRE DANIEL SCHACHNER

STATEMENT OF CONCEPT

Godspell has undergone many manifestations since it first appeared on the scene in 1971. Our aim was to re-make the show for a more contemporary specifically Christian audience. In the end, it was felt that a post-modern approach would focus more on the impact of the story on the characters who hear it rather than the story itself, so we have dispensed with the tried and true characters of John the Baptist/Judas and Jesus. Our approach presents a story not of Christ and his disciples, but rather a story of people today in our fallen world learning from the written Word.

NEW CHARACTERS

The ShopkeeperPersonifies fear. A nervous inner-city shopkeeper, Woody Allen personified, afraid to live.

The BumPersonifies poverty. A lonely, homeless alcoholic, deeply religious. The BimboPersonifies vanity. A gorgeous blonde dancer and airhead. The MillworkerPersonifies loss. A simple man, recently fired, looking for

faith. The ActorPersonifies irreverence. A show-off to whom everything is a joke

and the entire joke revolves around him. The SecretaryPersonifies ambition. A successful, career-obsessed young

woman.

The LonerPersonifies loneliness. A sad, quiet girl, slow to make friends. The PunkPersonifies false idols. An energetic, outgoing, but abrasive girl. The TeacherPersonifies knowledge. A smart but self-absorbed, repressed

woman.

The ExecutivePersonifies greed. A rich, successful businessman. The BikerPersonifies ego. A hyperactive delivery boy, desperate for attention. The TeasePersonifies lust. A sexy young woman, quiet but seductive. Jersey

accent. The RapperPersonifies arrogance. A street tough with braggadocio and a

temper.

ANOTHER KIND OF GODSPELL COSTUMES

#1 THE SHOPKEEPER Off-white, open collared button down shirt A sport jacket, a little the worse for wear Khakis Brown shoes

#2 THE BUM Old, threadbare sweater Torn jeans Ratty sneakers

#3 THE BIMBO Stylish (but not low-cut) purple top Hip-hugger jeans Nice shoes

#4 THE MILLWORKER Flannel shirt Jeans Steel-toed boots

#5 THE ACTOR Blue turtle-neck sweater Black pants Capezio shoes

#6 THE SECRETARY Purple silk shirt High-fashion black pantsuit

#7 THE LONER Knit cap (just a little too big) Black t-shirt Baggy gray sweatshirt Sweatpants Sneakers

#8 THE PUNK Ratted hair Pink tank top with mesh Leather jacket Black pants

ANOTHER KIND OF GODSPELL COSTUMES (Contd)

#9 THE TEACHER Glasses Blouse Jacket Skirt

#10 THE EXECUTIVE Shirt Tie Vest Expensive trench coat

#11 THE BIKER Long-sleeved t-shirt Blue tank top Bicycle pants

#12 THE TEASE Bright lipstick Halter top Short skirt

#13 THE RAPPER Baseball cap Wife beater Track suit Lots of bling

ANOTHER KIND OF GODSPELL SET CONCEPT

The set is an aboveground subway terminus. Stage right is dominated by a stationary train awaiting departure, as well as a large platform and stairwell leading down to it. At stage left is a small magazine stand, and spray-painted onto it are innumerable graffiti frescoes. The most prominent onstage items are two projection screens, located downstage right and upstage left. In their neutral state they represent a subway chart and a billboard advertisement, but as characters are introduced and stories unfold, the screens spring to life, displaying quotes, Bible verses, film clips and even audience members, in order to add deeper insight to the action onstage.

VERSES FOR PROJECTIONS

Prologue - (Gen 1) John the Baptist - (Matt 3:1-12) Baptism of Jesus - (Matt 3:13-17) Fulfill the Law - (Matt 5:17-20) Pharisee & Publican - (Luke 18:10-14) Settling Disputes - (Matt 5:23-26) Unmerciful Servant - (Matt 18:23-35) Eye for Eye - (Matt 5:38-42) Sheep and Goats - (Matt 25:31-46) Lamp for the Body - (Matt 6:23) Two Masters - (Matt 6:24) Good Samaritan - (Luke 10:30-37) Giving Alms - (Matt 6:1-4) Rich Man & Lazarus - (Luke 16:19-31) Beatitudes - (Matt 5:3-12) Love your Enemies - (Matt 5:43-40 Parable of the Sower - (Matt 13:3-8, 18-23) Consider the Lilies - (Matt 6:28-30) Prodigal Son - (Luke 15:11-32) Ask Seek & Knock - (Matt 7:9-12) You are the Light of the World - (Matt 5:13-16) Question on Authority - (Matt 21:23-27) Taxes to Caesar - (Matt 22:15-22) Greatest Commandment - (Matt 22:34-40) Seven Woes - (Matt 23:1-39) Betrayal of Judas - (Matt 26:14-16) Last Supper - (Matt 26:17-35) Gethsemane - (Matt 26:36-46) Temptation - (Matt 4:1-11) Arrest - (Matt 26:47-56) Death - (Matt 27:45-50) Burial - (Matt 27:57-61)

SYNOPSIS OF MUSICAL NUMBERS

ACT ONE

Opening..Orchestra Prologue (Tower of Babble)Company (except Bum) Prepare Ye (The Way of the Lord)..Bum, Bimbo, Company Save the PeopleMillworker, Bum, Company Day by Day..Bimbo, Loner, Punk, Teacher, Company Learn Your Lessons WellTeacher and Biker O, Bless the Lord, My Soul.Secretary and Company All for the Best...Actor, Rapper, Company All Good GiftsExecutive, Bum, Company Light of the World.Shopkeeper, Tease, Actor, Secretary, Millworker, Company

ACT TWO

Beautiful City..Biker, Millworker, Company Turn Back, O Man...Tease, Actor, Company Alas for You...Bum By My Side.Bimbo, Punk, Company We Beseech Thee.Rapper, Shopkeeper, Company Day by Day (Reprise).Company On the Willows...Rapper, Executive, Company Finale..Company Bows: Day by Day (Reprise).Company

NOTE ABOUT MUSIC: The musical arrangements are based, for the most part, on the 2000/01 revivals (each of which received a new cast recording), with the exception of By My Side (which is based on a single by Christian groups Out of Eden and the Katinas, released in 1997 to celebrate the silver anniversary of Godspell, and includes a verse that was cut from the original production during rehearsals in 1971 that was included at the request of the songs composer, Peggy Gordon). The lower keys of the music, however, in keeping with the darker tone of this production, are based on arrangements by the late Davina Haase for the 1996-98 all-black production of Godspell.

If there are any issues obtaining permission to use the musical arrangements, please contact Daniel Schachner ([email protected]), Alex Lacamoire ([email protected]), or Richard Haase ([email protected]).

ACT ONE

(Lights come up ever so slightly. A shadowy FIGURE is seen moving about the boarding platform. He waves his hand, drawing a spotlight from the air. It is the conductor. He walks downstage into the pit, bows, and begins to play an instrumental Day by Day on the piano. As he does, the sun rises on the train station.)

OPENING (Instrumental. See 2001 Yellow Album arrangement, but less fierce and

aggressive at hard rock portion; this is just a lone piano, played perhaps in the manic style of a Jim Steinman composition, suggesting what will come.)

(The Amelia board changes to a projected message: What separates us from God and Man? The SHOPKEEPER, a nervous, mousy fellow, enters the magazine stand and begins to prepare for the day. The board changes to read Fear. The BUM shambles on from the street, a little drunk, carrying a bundle of blankets. The subway board changes to read Poverty. He sits by the sewer grate, warming his hands on the steam and drinking occasionally from his bottle. The BIMBO enters from the boarding platform, walks down the stairs and begins applying makeup from a compact. The Amelia board changes to read Vanity.)

(The MILLWORKER enters from the platform. The subway board changes to Read Loss as he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a pink slip. He walks down the stairs sadly. The ACTOR enters from the platform. The Amelia board changes to read Irreverence. He walks down the stairs, but stops to check out the Bimbo, who brushes him off. He shrugs and leans against the train. The SECRETARY enters from the platform. The subway board changes to read Ambition. She checks her watch irritably and stands on the small platform halfway down the steps, next to the Actor.)

(The LONER enters from the platform. The Amelia board changes to read Loneliness. Walking down the steps, she bumps into the Secretary, who looks outraged and shoots her a withering look. The PUNK enters from the street. The

subway board changes to read False Idols. She buys a rock magazine from the Shopkeeper, who is visibly intimidated by her tough looks, and sits next to the Secretary to read it. The TEACHER enters from the street. The Amelia board changes to read Knowledge. She stands next to the Bimbo, and shoots her disapproving looks while cleaning her glasses.)

(The EXECUTIVE enters from the street, cigar in hand. The subway board changes to read Greed. He buys a paper and sits on a bench to read it. The BIKER rides in from the street on his bike, which he parks against the side of the magazine stand. The Amelia board changes to read Ego. He delivers a sandwich to the Shopkeeper, then paces back and forth in front of the train. The TEASE enters on the platform. The subway board changes to read Lust. She paces back and forth on the platform, watching the men below. Finally, the RAPPER enters. The Amelia board changes to read Arrogance. He leans up against the magazine stand.)

(The music stops. For a long moment, there is no sound. Everyone fidgets, checks their watches, or otherwise looks uncomfortable. Only the Bum is not affected. He takes a swig from his bottle, opens his Bible and reads.)

BUM My name is known: God and King. I am most in majesty, in whom no beginning may be and no end. Highest in potency I am, and have been ever. I have made stars and planets in their courses to go. I have made a moon for the night and a sun to light the day also. I have made earth where trees and grasses spring. Beasts and fowl, both great and small, all thrive and have my liking. I have made All of Nothing for Mans sustenation, and of this pleasant garden that I have mostly goodly planted, I will make him Gardener for his own recreation.

(The people at the station begin taking out paperback books, reading magazines or other materials. The Punk opens her magazine, no doubt reading the views of a self-styled punk rock philosopher, declaiming to the reader as if they were Socrates addressing the elders of Athens at his trial.)

PUNK I honor and love you. But I shall obey God rather than you. And while I have life and strength I shall never cease from the practice and teaching of philosophy. For know that this is the command of God; and I believe that no greater good has ever happened in the state than my service to the God. For I do nothing but go about persuading you all, young and old alike, not to take thought for your persons or properties, but first and chiefly to take care about the greatest improvement of the soul. This is my teaching and if this is the doctrine which corrupts the youth, then I am a mischievous person.

(Suddenly, the Rapper begins to beat box.) But if anyone says that this is not my teaching, then he is speaking an untruth.

PROLOGUE (TOWER OF BABBLE) (See 2001 Yellow Album arrangement, without computerized percussion, which

is simulated by Rapper.)

PUNK (Contd) (Sings) WHEREFORE, O MEN OF ATHENS,

I SAY TO YOU THEREFORE: ACQUIT ME OR NOT, BUT WHICHEVER YOU DO, I SHALL NEVER ALTER MY WAYS, NEVER ADJUST MY APPROACH TO THIS MAZE, NEVER REFORM TILL THE END OF MY DAYS, EVEN IF I HAVE TO DIE MANY TIMES.

(The theme music is here again. The Biker is reading a front-page story about a new guythink Dr. Phil or Deepak Choprawith a new Prayer of Jabez style way to live. Some of it is clearly going right over his head.)

BIKER GOD IS APPREHENDED BY IMAGINATION, INTUITION,

REASON, TOUCH, OPINION, SENSE, AND NAME (AND SO ON). BUT ON QUITE THE OTHER HAND, WE FIND WE CANT BEGIN TO UNDERSTAND HIM, SO TO SOME IT SEEMS A SHAME TO GO ON. BUT HE IS ALL THINGS IN ALL, AND HE IS NOTHING IN ANY. HE IS OFTEN FOUND IN ONE THING SMALL, CONVERSELY, HE IS OFTEN MISSED IN MANY.

(The Teacher is reading an editorial, probably by a fellow teacher, in the back of an educational magazine. It is most likely critical of whoever its talking about. The Bush administrations policy on education is probably a good point of reference for the source of this editorial.)

TEACHER GOD ENDOWS US WITH SENSE AND INTELLECT GOD ENDOWS US WITH REASON WE NEGLECT AND DESPITE THE ABOLITION, BY THE CURRENT INQUISITION, OF ANY INTUITION THAT THEY DONT CHOOSE WHEN IT COMES TO GOD, I FIND I CANT BELIEVE THAT HE DESIGNED A HUMAN BEING WITH A MIND HES NOT SUPPOSED TO USE!

(The theme music is heard again. The Actor and Secretary are reading opposing views. Each holds a magazine that is virtually a carbon copy of each others,

except for the point of view, the Actors being that mankind is doing just fine and the Secretary being aghast at what man has done till now.)

ACTOR THE RISE OF MAN

IS NATURAL AND EXPLICABLE

IF GOD BY INACTION HAS GIVEN MAN THE STAGE

WE CAN HARDLY BE AGHAST THAT UP WERE RAISED

THAT MAN SHOULD BE SUBLIME

FOR ALL TIME!

SECRETARY

THE WRATH OF GOD IS NATURAL

WE ARE DESPICABLE

IF MANS MALEFACTION SENDS GOD INTO A RAGE WE CAN HARDLY BE AGHAST

THAT DOWN WERE CAST

THAT GOD DAMNS US FOR ALL TIME!

(The Executive has picked up a Dianetics leaflet no doubt left at the newsstand by the Church of Scientology, and reads this quote by L. Ron Hubbard, which seems to make sense to him in his lifestyle.)

EXECUTIVE NOTHING IS TRUE UNLESS OBSERVED BY YOU

(The Tease has seen the lust of many men for her over time, and is more than a little jaded by it. If there were a God and human nature, people wouldnt assume she was a slut and men wouldnt be hitting on her left and right. For her, atheistic existentialism is a way out, but we know its just an excuse.)

TEASE ATHEISTIC EXISTENTIALISM,

WHICH I REPRESENT, IS MORE COHERENT I DO BELIEVE IT

(The Millworker is a rational man in his spare time. Hes not reading anything. Hes trying to explain to himself, in the best way he knows how, why he got fired. Hes attempting to reach the conclusion that hell never know why because people and their sense of reason are complicated, so he should just get over it, but its going about as well as it might be expected to, considering, of course, that he just

got fired.)

MILLWORKER MAN IS A COMPLEX OF PATTERNS, OF PROCESSES

(The Tease does as her name suggests, but in a different fashion than one might expect. She mocks the Millworker with her personal philosophy. Mans not complex, because theres no such thing as human nature, so he should quit whining about it already. Thankfully, he doesnt notice what shes saying, as hes still too busy explaining it to himself.)

TEASE THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS HUMAN NATURE,

NOT IN ALL OR FEW MEN, SINCE THERE IS NO GOD TO CONCEIVE IT

MILLWORKER MAN IS A COMPLEX OF PATTERNS, OF PROCESSES

(The Loner is, predictably enough, alone, and also isnt reading a paperback or something from the magazine stand. Shes alone, maybe not by her own choice, but shes not good at making friends, and when she makes them, shes not all that good at keeping them. Shes sort of the female version of the title character in another Schwartz show, Pippinshe wants to find herself, she thinks she can do it alone, she wants to be something more important because she thinks thats what is destined for her, and yet she still yearns to be a part of something.)

LONER I live on Earth at present, and I dont know what I am. I know that I am not a category. I am not a thinga noun. I seem to be a verb, an evolutionary processan integral function of the universe.

(All begin to look over each others shoulders at what the others are reading. Some begin to demand of each other, not so surprisingly, that the others point of view hold sway.)

ALL SO HIGH IN MY LOVELY IVRY TOWER OF BABEL. (BABBLE, BABBLE, BABBLE, BABBLE, BABBLE, BABBLE, BABBLE) HIGH ABOVE THE RABBLE. (RABBLE, RABBLE, RABBLE, RABBLE, RABBLE, BABBLE, BABBLE, RABBLE, BABBLE) GREATEST MIND OF HISTORY, SOLVING LIFES SWEET MYSTERY,

ALL (Contd) SO LISTEN TO ME,

SO LISTEN TO ME, KNOW HOW LIFE SHOULD BE. KNOW HOW LIFE SHOULD BE. OH, WHAT DOES IT MATTER IF THEY DONT AGREE?

(Realizing that no one is going to agree with them, they all begin to ignore the others, singing their part as loud as they can to drown out the rest, each singing their own philosophies in counterpoint to one another twice.)

(Finally, all thirteen face upward, appealing to the heavens. They have run out of words and have nothing left but a wordless cry of frustration and anguish)

ALL AHH, AHH, AHH, AHH, AHH, AHH, AHH, AHH

(As the music reaches a chaotic and climactic finish, everyone freezes in positions and expressions of torment. A beeping of the train station intercom cuts them off.)

INTERCOM VOICE Ladies and gentlemen, due to unforeseen technical difficulties, this train has been delayed. Repeatdue to unforeseen technical difficulties, this train has been delayed. Thank you.

(Everyone groans. With another beep, the intercom shuts off. The Bum takes a swig, and then sits back, singing to no one in particular.)

PREPARE YE (THE WAY OF THE LORD) (See 2000 Blue Album arrangement for band, which seems appropriate for

impromptu-seeming moment, and for vocal arrangements refer to 2001 Yellow Album arrangement.)

BUM PREPARE YE THE WAY OF THE LORD! PREPARE YE THE WAY OF THE LORD! (Everyone turns and looks at the Bum. The feeling is a growing mixture

of fear, anticipation and What the hell did that guy just say?) PREPARE YE THE WAY OF THE LORD!

PREPARE YE THE WAY OF THE LORD!

(The Bimbo, bored, joins the song, not seriously, but for something to do. She

might also feel more than a little guilty about everyone staring at him as if hes a social leper.)

BUM & BIMBO PREPARE YE THE WAY OF THE LORD! PREPARE YE THE WAY OF THE LORD! PREPARE YE THE WAY OF THE LORD! PREPARE YE THE WAY OF THE LORD!

BUM Everybody now!

(Everyone joins inits a momentary act of mutual inspiration or insanity. It is as if a black-and-white silent film has suddenly turned into color, but everyone still has the accelerated motion.)

ALL PREPARE YE THE WAY OF THE LORD PREPARE YE THE WAY OF THE LORD PREPARE YE THE WAY OF THE LORD PREPARE YE THE WAY OF THE LORD!

(Finally, the song finishes. As the last note is sung, everyone quiets down and returns to their solitary pursuits, save the Bum. He opens his Bible and begins reading out loudto himself as much as to anyone else. Now, as well as when anyone reads from the Bible, the subway board displays the chapter and verse in Matthew where the quote can be found, thus indicating exactly what theyre reading fromor riffing on, for that matter.)

BUM You vipers brood! Who warned you to escape from the coming retribution? Then prove your repentance by the fruit it bears; and do not presume to say to yourselves, We have Abraham for our father. I tell you that God can make children for Abraham out of these stones here. Already the axe is laid to the roots of the trees; and every tree that fails to produce good fruit is cut down and thrown on the fire. I baptize you with water, for repentance sake, but He who comes after me is mightier than I. I am not fit to take off his shoes. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and with fire. (The Millworker has looked up from his pink slip and depression. Something

about the baptism by fire struck a chord with him [okay, bad pun, but you get the point]. He walks over to the Bum and taps him on the shoulder. The Bum is instantly abashed. Not everyone who hears him listens to him. With wonder :)

Do you come to me?

MILLWORKER Yeah, I think Im supposed to get washed up.

BUM Heh. (Sniffs his own clothes) If anything, Im the one who needs to be washed, mister.

MILLWORKER No, no. Look, I think that these days, we may all need to get washed up.

(The Bum shakes his head, takes a swig of his drink, and throws the Bible away. The Millworker runs to pick it up. He looks at it, center stage, and then sings up to heaven. His song is not a rhetorical question, but a true requesthe needs to be saved right now.)

SAVE THE PEOPLE (See 2001 Yellow Album arrangement, which conveys the urgency well

enough.)

MILLWORKER (Contd) WHEN WILT THOU SAVE THE PEOPLE? O GOD OF MERCY, WHEN? NOT KINGS AND LORDS, BUT NATIONS, NOT THRONES AND CROWNS, BUT MEN! FLOWRS OF THY HEART, O GOD ARE THEY; LET THEM NOT PASS, LIKE WEEDS, AWAY, THEIR HERITAGE A SUNLESS DAY. GOD SAVE THE PEOPLE.

SHALL CRIME BRING CRIME FOREVER, STRENGTH AIDING STILL THE STRONG? IS IT THY WILL, O FATHER, THAT MAN SHALL TOIL FOR WRONG? NO, SAY THY MOUNTAINS; NO, SAY THY SKIES; MANS CLOUDED SUN SHALL BRIGHTLY RISE, AND SONGS BE HEARD INSTEAD OF SIGHS. GOD SAVE THE PEOPLE. (The others have heard what the Millworker is saying, and they begin to

watch him.) WHEN WILT THOU SAVE THE PEOPLE?

O GOD OF MERCY, WHEN? THE PEOPLE, LORD, THE PEOPLE, NOT THRONES AND CROWNS, BUT MEN! GOD SAVE THE PEOPLE, FOR THINE THEY ARE, THY CHILDREN AS THY ANGELS FAIR. GOD SAVE THE PEOPLE, FROM DESPAIR.

MILLWORKER (Contd) GOD SAVE THE PEOPLE!

BUM O, GOD SAVE THE PEOPLE.

(The rest look at the Bum as he joins the Millworkers prayer for salvation. Hes beginning to catch up to the Millworker, to get the general idea. Gradually, everyone joins in, all looking for their own personal salvation. By the group verse that closes the song, everyone has joined in.)

MILLWORKER & COMPANY GOD SAVE THE PEOPLE! GOD SAVE THE PEOPLE! GOD SAVE THE PEOPLE! GOD SAVE THE PEOPLE! GOD SAVE THE PEOPLE! GOD SAVE THE PEOPLE!

ALL WHEN WILT THOU SAVE THE PEOPLE? O GOD OF MERCY, WHEN? THE PEOPLE, LORD, THE PEOPLE, NOT THRONES AND CROWNS, BUT MEN!

GOD SAVE THE PEOPLE, SAVE US, FOR THINE THEY ARE, FOR THINE THEY ARE. THY CHILDREN AS THY ANGELS FAIR: O, GOD SAVE THE PEOPLE, SAVE THE PEOPLE, GOD SAVE THE PEOPLE, FROM DESPAIR. GOD SAVE THE PEOPLE!

GOD SAVE THE PEOPLE, O, GOD SAVE THE PEOPLE, GOD SAVE THE PEOPLE, O, GOD SAVE THE PEOPLE, GOD SAVE THE PEOPLE, GOD SAVE THE PEOPLE, GOD SAVE THE PEOPLE.

(Everyone returns to what they are doing, save for the Bum, the Millworker, and now the Bimbo, who walks down to see whats going on.)

BIMBO Hey, did you guys get that kick-ass song out of that book?

(They nod.) Oh my God, let me, like, see that! That was bitchin! I could, like, find a whole new exercise routine out of this!

(She snatches the Bible from the Millworker and looks at it like its the latest romance novel. Then she opens it and pages through.)

Ohso I have to, like, read this first? (The Millworker looks to the Bum, who seems to have more experience with it. The Bum gives him a look that says, The poor thing needs knowledge anyway, right? so the Millworker nods. She begins to read.)

Like, Jesus said, Now, do not suppose that I have come to, like, abolish the Law and the prophets. I did not come to, like, abolish, but to complete. I tell you this: like, so long as heaven and earth endure not a letter, not a stroke, will disappear from the Law until all that must happen has, likehappened. If any man, therefore, sets aside even the least of the Laws, like, demands he will have, like, the lowest place in the kingdom of Heaven.

(The Actor wanders over to her. Now hes interested in more than her looks. This passage seems to be talking to him.)

But he who, like, keeps the law and, like, teaches others so, he will have, like, the highest place in the kingdom of Heaven. I tell you this, unless you, like, show yourselves far better men than the, like, Pharisees and the doctors of the Law Wait. Like, whats a Pharisee?

ACTOR Sort of a pompous ass. Like, uh

(He imitates Sean Connery. Badly.) Son-of-a-bitch.

BIMBO Ohyoure an actor, arent you? Im a dancer!

(She continues to read, admonishing his character, while the Actor basks in his being recognized as one, keeping his healthy ego intact.)

you shall never enter the kingdom of Heaven. (The Punk wanders down. Where four are playing, a fifth will soon be intrigued and join in, maybe a bit grudgingly at first, but soon willingly.)

Should I, like, keep going? (The Bum nods. He recognizes a favorite lesson coming up.)

There once was, like, a judge

ACTOR Oh, thats me! Ill be the judge!

(He jumps onto the bench and snarls. Hes not as good as he thinks he is, but the laughs the audience produce indicate to his ego that he is as good and better. He was happy he was recognized as an actor, and now wants to be the center of attention.)

BIMBO who cared, like, nothing for God or man.

ACTOR Grrrr!

BIMBO And in the same town there was, like, a widow

(The Punk, seeing the opportunity for some good harassment, steps up to play the widow.)

who, like, constantly came before him demanding justice and stuff against her, like, rival.

(The Punk throws herself onto the Actors leg and attaches herself to him. He panics, and then regains character.)

For a long time he, like, refused, but in the end he, like, said to himself

(The Actor prepares to speak, but then realizes he has no idea what to say.)

ACTOR Line?

(They throw him the Bible. He reads his line from it, giving us his best [read: worst] impression of a magisterial-style judge.)

True, I care nothing for God or man. But this widow is so great a nuisance; I will see her righted before she wears me out with her persistence.

(The Bum steps up to the scene, clapping. He takes joy in whoever joins in, regardless of how good or bad they are at what they do.)

BUM You hear what the unjust judge says: and will not God vindicate his chosen, who cry out to him day and night while he sits listening patiently to them?

(Everyone hesitates, waiting for the answer to the question. Theyve all gotten into it, and they know what it means now, so they naturally want to know the answer. The Punk is the one who speaks up.)

PUNK Well, will he?

BUM Well

(The Bum stretches out his hand for the Bible, and the Actor hands it to him. He finds his place on the page and reads the answer.)

I tell you, he will vindicate them, soon enough. (Theyre satisfied with the answer, the Bimbo claps a little, and the Actor bows as

if the applause is meant for him. And then the Bum cuts them off.)

BUM (Contd) But, when the son of man comes, will he find faith on earth?

MILLWORKER I was kind of wondering that myself

PUNK Shhh! I wanna do one now! Gimme the book!

(She takes the Bible and runs up the stairs, launching into an impression of David Sleaze, the punk magician, minus the swears.)

Gather round, brothers and sisters, because two men, I said two, went off to the temple to pray. One, a Pharisee

(The Actor jumps up like an excited little kid.)

ACTOR I call Pharisee!

BUM Nuh-uh!

(He pulls over the Biker instead. He tries to get out of it, but the Bum wont let him.)

PUNK And the other a tax gatherer.

(The Bum provides the Millworker, who is happy he finally got a turn.) The Pharisee, why he just stood right on up, and prayed thus:

(The Biker reads without emotion or movement from the book.)

BIKER I thank thee, O God, that I am not like other men, greedy, dishonest

(The Actor butts in.)

ACTOR No! Come on, man! If youre gonna do it, do it with feeling. Youre a Pharisee, baby! Youre immensely pleased with yourself! Youre self-aggrandizing! Show some intensity!

(Now theres the magic wordthe Biker sure is intense. He suddenly acts with incredible fervor.)

BIKER I thank thee, O God, that I am not like other men, greedy, dishonest, adulterous, or, for that matter, like that tax gatherer.

(He points scornfully at the Millworker; the Actor is pleased.) I pray twice a weekget that? Twice a week!! And pay taxes on all that I get.

ALL Hallelujah! Amen!

(Everyone applauds for the Biker. He responds by looking haughtier than ever.)

PUNK But the other kept his distance and would not even raise his eyes to the good Lord in Heaven.

(To the Bimbo) I said the good Lord in Heaven, you shameless bimbo.

BIMBO Like, amen! (Then, after a beat) HEY!

PUNK (Swiftly moving on) But beat upon his breast, saying:

MILLWORKER Oh, God, have mercy on me, sinner that I am!

(The Punk looks at the ending and then starts in disbelief.)

PUNK And it was this man, I tell youand not the other who went off and quitted of his sins.

BIKER Oh, youve got to be kidding! Gimme that thing!

(He attempts to pry the book from her hands, but she holds him back, reads ahead a bit, and then nods in realization.)

PUNK Ohh for every man who exalts himself (The Biker mugs for his audience.) shall be humbled. (He trips over his own feet.) But every man who humbles himself shall be exalted.

(The Millworker rises from his knees to a standing position to illustrate her point. The participants clap for him.)

PUNK (Contd) Well, that makes sense, I guess.

(The Rapper steps over and snatches the Bible.)

RAPPER You have learned that they were told: Do not commit murder, anyone who commits murder must be brought to judgment. But what Jesus is tellin us is this: Anyone who nurses anger against his brother must be brought to judgment. So, he who (Suddenly turning on them and shouting, like a horror-movie shock) ABUSES

(They all jump in terror.) his brother must answer for it in the court. But, he who sneers at his brother must answer for it in the fires of Hell.

(All the participants so far laugh like demons. The Rapper notices the Loner, who has been keeping her distance. He can see she desperately wants to join, but is afraid, so he runs up to the Loner and steals her hat. She runs after him trying to get it back, and is suddenly pulled into the game when the Rapper pulls her to center stage and hands her the hat.)

Now. What if you are bringing a gift to the altar, and

PUNK We need an altar! Come on!

(The Bimbo, the Punk and the Actor form an altar, with the Punk and Actor crouched down supporting the Bimbo like a statue. The Millworker grabs the Teacher and pulls her towards the center. She catches on quickly and positions herself below the altar with a sour expression on her face.)

RAPPER you suddenly remember your brother has a grievance against you?

(In a sudden and shocking display of goofiness, the Loner suddenly goes into a ridiculous Kung Fu routine, noises and all. This is why she normally is slow to make friendsshes afraid of them laughing. That said, theyre only telling a story, and this is a stylized rendition of how she would react. The Teacher is surprised, but begins to loosen up and joins in as well.)

No, you leave your gift where it is, before the altar. (The Loner is hesitant.)

Its okay, girl, leave it! Itll be waiting.

LONER (Putting down the hat somewhat reluctantly) O.K.

RAPPER First, go and make peace with your brother.

(The Loner walks over to the Teacher and stands awkwardly. They shake hands limply and look to the Rapper. He shakes his head. They both consider several other possible ways to end this. Finally, the Teacher tentatively gives her a hug; she hugs back, and the Rapper smiles.)

Now go and offer your gift.

LONER Buthow do I

(The Rapper simply motions her forward. The Loner drops her hat into the altar, which rises like a volcanic eruption and spits her hat back at her.)

BIMBO, PUNK & ACTOR Ya-hooooo!

RAPPER But, what if your brother sues you?

(The Biker runs over with an imaginary paper. During this exchange, the Tease starts to hear whats going on, and walks over.)

BIKER You got served!

RAPPER Youd better settle with him quickly. Otherwise, hell hand you over to the judge and the judge to the constableand youll land in jail. And I tell you, youll not get out of there until youve paid the last penny.

(From behind him, the Tease yanks the Bible from his hands.)

TEASE Hey, hot stuff, gimme a beat.

RAPPER Anything for you, shawty.

(He starts a hi-hat rhythm, snapping and providing vocal cymbal beats. Everyone picks it up.)

TEASE There once was a king

(The Rapper steps forward to be the king, still providing beatbox

accompaniment.)

ALL Yeah, yeah!

TEASE who decided to settle accounts with the men who served him.

ALL Yeah, yeah, yeah!

TEASE Well, at the outset there appeared before the master a man whose debt ran into the millions.

(The Punk crawls up to the Rapper on her knees.)

ALL What?

TEASE I said the millions.

ALL Whoa!

TEASE Since the man had no means of paying the money, the master ordered him to be sold to meet the debt with his wifeand his childand everything he had. Well, the man threw himself down at the masters feet and went:

(The Punk throws herself down, almost knocking the Rapper over.)

ALL (Sound effect) Unh!

PUNK Wise-asses. Oh, be patient with me

TEASE he said,

PUNK and I will pay you in full. Just as soon as they give me my check.

ACTOR ` (A la game show host) And so moved with pity was the master, that he decided to free the man and remit the debt, andlets hear it for the master!

ALL (To each other and audience) Yay! Huzzah! What a great master!! (etc.)

(But the Teacher has taken the Bible, and is reading ahead. She halts the festivities.)

TEACHER Wait a minute! Thats not the end of the story. No sooner had the man gone out than he met a fellow servant who owed him a few dollars. He gripped him by the throat and said:

(The Punk grabs the Loner and begins to pummel her.)

PUNK Pay me what you owe me!

TEACHER The man threw himself at his fellow servants feet and begged him, saying:

LONER (Falls to her knees) B-b-b-b-b-be patient with me and I shall pay you.

PUNK Who are you, Porky Pig?

TEACHER But he refused and had him jailed until he should pay the debt.

(The Millworker and the Bum shackle the Loner with their hands, making handcuff noises.)

The other servants were deeply distressed when they saw what had happened. They ran and they told their master the whole story! Accordingly he sent forThe Man!!!

(The others pick up the Punk and carry her, kicking and screaming, to the Rapper, who stands on the bench.)

RAPPER You scoundrel!

TEACHER He said to him.

RAPPER I remitted the whole of your debt when you appealed to me. Were you not bound to show your fellow servant the same pity I showed you?

(The Punk cowers in fear. Carried away with the moment, the Teacher speaks far too rapidly.)

TEACHER Andsoangrywasthemasterthathecondemnedthemantotortureuntilhecouldpaythedebtinfull.

ALL WHAT????

TEACHER Im sorry. My kids say I do that all the time. (Normal speed) And so angry was the master that he condemned the man to torture until he could pay the debt in full.

(The Bum takes back the Bible.)

BUM And that, Jesus says, is how our Heavenly Father will deal with you, unless you each forgive your brothers from your hearts.

(The Bimbo walks downstage and sits by a sewer grate. Not surprisingly, she has indeed learned a lot so far. Now she needs a moment to reflectand pray.)

DAY BY DAY (See 2000 Blue Album arrangement.)

BIMBO DAY BY DAY, DAY BY DAY, OH, DEAR LORD THREE THINGS I PRAY: TO SEE THEE MORE CLEARLY, LOVE THEE MORE DEARLY, FOLLOW THEE MORE NEARLY, DAY BY DAY.

(With each verse, another girl walks down and takes the lead vocal. After the Bimbo sings, she is joined by the Loner, then the Punk, then finally the Teacher. At first, they sing Ahh in background harmonies as she continues.)

BIMBO

DAY BY DAY,

DAY BY DAY,

OH, DEAR LORD THREE THINGS I PRAY:

LONER TO SEE THEE MORE CLEARLY,

PUNK LOVE THEE MORE DEARLY,

TEACHER FOLLOW THEE MORE NEARLY,

BIMBO & OTHER THREE DAY BY DAY.

LONER, PUNK & TEACHER AH

AH

AH

AH

OTHER THREE AH

AH

AH

ALL AH

(The music becomes more rhythmic, switching to 4/4 time, as all now join the song, singing in unison. All of them begin to coexist together as friends, and change each other a little. The Teacher loosens up and begins to have fun, the Bimbo is less air headed and more serious and friendly, and the Loner comes out of her shell slowly but surely. At first, she dances awkwardly and self- consciously, but gradually, she picks up.)

ALL DAY BY DAY, DAY BY DAY, OH, DEAR LORD THREE THINGS I PRAY: TO SEE THEE MORE CLEARLY, LOVE THEE MORE DEARLY, FOLLOW THEE MORE NEARLY, DAY BY DAY.

DAY BY DAY, DAY BY DAY, OH, DEAR LORD THREE THINGS I PRAY: TO SEE THEE MORE CLEARLY, LOVE THEE MORE DEARLY, FOLLOW THEE MORE NEARLY, DAY BY DAY.

(After two times through the song, the group breaks into harmony.)

THE THREE DAY BY DAY,

DAY BY DAY,

OH, DEAR LORD, THREE THINGS I PRAY:

TO SEE THEE MORE CLEARLY,

LOVE THEE MORE DEARLY,

FOLLOW THEE MORE NEARLY, DAY BY DAY.

DAY BY DAY,

DAY BY DAY,

OH, DEAR LORD, THREE THINGS I PRAY:





OTHERS

DAY BY DAY,

DAY BY DAY,

THREE THINGS I PRAY.

DAY BY DAY,

DAY BY DAY,

DAY BY DAY.

DAY BY DAY,

DAY BY DAY,

THREE THINGS I PRAY.

DAY BY DAY,

DAY BY DAY,

DAY BY DAY,

BIMBO YES, I WANNA SEE THEE MORE CLEARLY,

LOVE THEE MORE DEARLY, YEAH



2 OTHERS (ALL in parentheses) (DAY BY DAY) TO SEE THEE MORE CLEARLY, (DAY BY DAY) LOVE THEE MORE DEARLY, (DAY BY DAY) TO SEE THEE MORE CLEARLY, (DAY BY DAY) LOVE THEE MORE DEARLY,

ALL THREE FOLLOW THEE MORE NEARLY, DAY BY DAY,

ALL THREE (Contd) DAY BY DAY, BY DAY, BY DAY,

(The song finishes as all sing.)

ALL BY DAY.

(By the end of the song, the Actor and the Tease are cuddling on a bench in one of those awkward inner-city public displays of affection that freak tourists out. The Millworker walks over as he massages her shoulders. He opens the Bible.)

MILLWORKER Hello!

(The Actor stops, with the Tease tucked under his arm, not at all sure he wants to hear what the Millworker has to say.)

Now, if your right eye offends you, tear it out and fling it away.

TEASE Thats the most ridiculous thing I ever heard.

MILLWORKER Its better for you to lose one part of your body than for the whole of it to be thrown into Hell.

(Unconsciously, the Actor has begun massaging the Teases shoulders again, and is now receiving disapproving looks from everyone who has enjoyed the game so far.)

ACTOR Yeah, but shes so hoso hoshes got a weak back?

MILLWORKER Since when?

ACTOR About a week back.

(Everyone groans at the terrible pun. The Millworker gives the Actor a look, and he reluctantly leaves the Tease. But the Tease knows what to do. She resumes her hootchy-koochie movements, knowing shell attract another man soon enough. The Biker steps forward.)

BIKER Master, let me chastise the vixen.

MILLWORKER Get back there.

(But the Tease is still hootchy-koochie-ing away, and the Biker is reluctant to leave. The Bum takes the Bible.)

BUM Now, if your right hand offends you, I want you to cut it off and fling it away.

BIKER (Reacting as if this is the most ridiculous thing hes ever heard) Oh, cmon! Thats my fun hand! (May accompany the line with a lewd gesture)

BUM First of all ahhh! Secondly, its better for you to lose one part of your body than for the whole of it to be thrown into Hell.

(The Biker looks at his hand, looks at the Tease, and then shrugs.)

BIKER Eh, I dont know, I get the feeling Ill need it later.

(She cringes. The Bum shakes his head in dismay. The Rapper takes the Bible.)

RAPPER Youve heard that they were told: An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. But what Jesus tells us is this: Never set yourself against a man who wrongs you. So if someone slaps you on the right cheek, turn and offer him your left.

BIKER Turn the other cheek? Oh, Jeeeeesus Ch

(The Bimbo claps her hand over his mouth. She feels instinctively that this was wrong of him to say. The Rapper turns to look at him, and then approaches the Biker as the others chant.)

ALL Slowly I turn, step by step, inch by inch

(The Rapper slaps the Biker across the face. The others gasp and he recoils, angrily raising his hand to strike back. He freezes with his hand in mid-air. Looking at his hand, he suddenly turns it into a telephone and pretends to get a call.)

BIKER Its for youits my other cheek!

(He pulls down his pants and moons the Rapper. Everyone laughs and cheers, save for the few [arent there always some?] who groan and shield their virgin eyes. The Actor jumps onto the bench.)

ACTOR Now, if a man sues you for your shirt

(He claps twice, indicates famous quotation, and the others realize the game is)

ALL Charades!

TEACHER Famous Quotation!

(A game of charades ensues in which the Actor acts out the following words: Give, Him, Coat, all guessed by one or another of the group after amusing wrong guesses. Then for the last word the Actor indicates little word. The others guess at various little wordsof, or, at, etc.but cant get it. Finally, he points to his rear end.)

BIKER Ass! Give him your coat ass well!

ALL Give him your coat as well! Yay! (Handclapping, cheers, bravos, etc.)

ACTOR Now, if a man in authority asks you to go one mile with him

(He begins to pantomime Go with him two, but no one catches on.)

RAPPER (A la a talk show announcer) Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Lets hear it from the Eternal Savior of the Cosmic Consciousness! Read it, ya bum!

(The Bum takes the Bible.)

BUM Now if a man in authority asks you to go one mile with himgo with him two!

ALL (To audience) GO WITH HIM TWO!

BUM (Continuing) Give when you are asked to give and never turn your back on one who wants to borrow.

PUNK Hey, you want to see a show?

ACTOR At these prices?

BIMBO Movie time!

(The Bimbo pulls a digital video camera from her purse and begins to make a short film. The Punk takes the Bible and narrates. The Bum pantomimes walking.)

PUNK A man was on his way from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he fell in among robbers, who beat him, stripped him, and left, leaving him half dead.

(The Bum, with much moaning and sounds of pain, pantomimes being beaten and left half dead.)

It so happened that a priest came upon him, but when he saw him he went past to the other side.

(The Bimbo walks by the Bums body. She sniffs, and steps over carefully.) So, too, a judge came to the place and saw him and went past to the other side.

(The Tease walks by, sniffs, and stops.)

TEASE Ewwwjudged!

PUNK But, a Samaritan who was making the journey came upon him, and when he saw him, was moved to pity.

BIKER I want to be the Samaritan!

TEACHER No, no, how about its someone who actually knows where Samaria is?

(The Teacher becomes the Samaritan.)

PUNK He went up and bandaged his wounds, bathing them in oil and wine.

(The Teacher, as the Samaritan, already slightly tipsy, helps herself to a few gulps of the wine as well.)

Then he put him onto his own beast (The Actor runs forward, rears up on his legs, and beats his chest, roaring and

howling.) What are youBigfoot?

ACTOR Im a beast.

PUNK Right

(The Teacher puts the Bum onto the Actors back, and carries him over to the magazine stand, where the Millworker becomes an innkeeper.)

Then he put him onto his own beast, brought him to an inn, and looked after him there. The next day he produced two pieces of silver and said, Look after him and if you spend anymore, I will repay you on the way back.

(The Actor roars again.)

MILLWORKER Oh my GodI saw Bigfoot! Whos got the number for Access Hollywood?

(The performers in the movie take a bow, and the Bimbo shuts down the camera. The Teacher wanders over to see the movie on the little screen.)

RAPPER You have learned that you were told, Love your neighbor, hate your enemy. But what Jesus tells us is this

(During the above, the Teacher and the Bimbo begin arguing over by the camera. Gradually their tussling over it becomes violent and now their argument becomes intrusive enough to interrupt the teaching. As with any good brawl, the others start to take sides so that soon all are fighting. The Rapper has to shout to make himself heard above the fray.)

Yo! Love, love love your enemies. (All stop fighting.)

And pray for your persecutors.

TEACHER & BIMBO (Indicating each other, still holding each other in a choke hold or aggressive position)

You dont mean?

RAPPER I do!

(All of the current participants begin to make friends with each other.) Only so can you be called Children of your Heavenly Father, who makes his sun rise and set on good and bad alike, and sends the rain on the honest and the dishonest. Now if you greet only those who greet you, what reward can you expect? Surely the tax gatherers do as much as that. And if you love only those who love you, what is there extraordinary in that? Even the heathen do as much. No, your goodness must know no bounds, just as your Heavenly Fathers goodness knows no limit.

(Their loud and affectionate displays have reached an earsplitting volume. It has become so noisy that the Rapper pulls the Actor aside.)

High C, now! (The Actor nods, and lets out a High C, holding it for several seconds. The cast stop in awe.)

Thanks. But, be careful not to make a show of your religion before men.

ALL (Hanging their heads in shame) Oh.

RAPPER Because if you do, no reward awaits you in the kingdom of my Father.

(Everyone forms a circle around him, watching him intently. Meanwhile, the Executive, still far upstage, lights his cigar and continues to read his newspaper, while the Secretary walks downstage, sits on the bench by the subway board. Now shes closer. She can hear that this passage is about her.)

When you do some act of charity, dont announce it with a flourish of trumpets, as the heathen do in the synagogues and in the streets. I tell you they do it just to win admiration from men. No, when you do some acts of charitydont let your right hand knowwhat your left hand is doing.

(The Rapper holds up his right hand, then his left hand. Everyone gasps in anticipation, as the Rapper beginsThe Jesus Dance from Family Guy. He puts up two fingers on his right hand, like a peace sign, while raising his left fist. He warms up, and then swings his right hand into his left, transferring the two upraised fingers. Everyone treats this as an incredible trick, trying the same stunt themselves and failing. The Rapper begins to do the second part of the trick, but puts his hands down.)

Nah, this ones too hard.

(Everyone cheers him on, so he completes the routine. He makes two rings with the thumb and index finger of both hands. He shows them, then puts his hands behind his head and reveals the two rings againjoined! Everyone cheers.)

ALL (General amazement, as if this is the most wonderful magic trick theyve ever

seen)

Ohhhhh.

RAPPER Your good deed must be in secret.

(All gather together, put their heads down, and whisper.)

BIKER (To audience, smugly) Its a secret!

(Teacher leaves group, crosses down to audience.)

TEACHER What the Good Master is telling us is that when God tells a little secret the Angels are going to run and put it on their Facebooks. Then

BUM No, no, no. Your heavenly father, who sees what is done in secret

(Turns to others) He will what?

ALL Reward you!!!

(In a sudden display of playfulness, caught up slightly in what he has been observing and wanting desperately to join, the Shopkeeper pops a champagne popper, showering the circle with confetti and streamers. They all look to him, and he panics, hiding back under the counter again. With a gesture of encouragement from everyone, the Tease takes the book and crosses down to the Secretary, who glares at her.)

TEASE There was once a rich man who dressed in purple and the finest linen,

(The Secretary looks, sees that she is indeed dressed in purple, and gives in.)

SECRETARY Well, I guess thats me.

TEASE and every day feasted in the greatest magnificence. At his gate lay a poor man named Lazarus (She gestures to the Bum, who is suddenly outraged.)

BUM Oh, so he lives outside the rich guys gates and that makes him a bum, right?!

ACTOR Man, she doesnt mean anything by it. Just play along

(The Bum shrugs and gets down on the ground to beg at the Secretarys feet. She unwraps a health bar and begins eating it.)

TEASE who would have been glad to have satisfied his hunger with the scraps from the rich mans table.

SECRETARY (As if pigging out on a great feast, with a very flat delivery) Oh, my God, its good!

TEASE Even the doggy-doggies used to come and lick his open, running sores.

BUM (Grossed out) Ewww!

TEASE Well, one day, the poor man died

BUM Sorry, angel face. I draw the line at getting my ass whipped by robbers.

(The Actor pokes him in the side, which causes the Bum to overreact in the form of another long, gratuitous death scene, and collapse on the ground, clutching his

heart.)

TEASE and was carried away by the angelsto be with Abraham.

(The Teacher pulls out her pointer and holds it like a wand, becoming Abraham. The other girls pick up the Bum and carry him up the stairs to the platform with the Teacher.)

The rich man also died, (The Secretary, rolling her eyes, does the shoot myself gesture and leaves it at that.)

and was buried in Hades,

(The Actor, Millworker, Biker and Rapper become demons and wander over to the Secretary who eyes them passively.)

ACTOR, MILLWORKER, BIKER & RAPPER Hi.

SECRETARY Hi

TEASE where he was in torment!

(The demons all jump on the Secretary and begin tickling her mercilessly. Laughing and gasping with shock and discomfort, she is overwhelmed and crawls center stage to get away from them.)

He looked up and there, far away, was Abraham with Lazarus close beside him.

(The Secretary lies there in confusion. She has no idea what to do until the Tease realizes whats up, walks over with the Bible and points out where to read.)

SECRETARY Oh Father Abraham, have pity on me; send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water to cool my tongue for I am in agony in this fire.

(The Tease then runs the Bible up to the Teacher. Some of the other girls quietly sing the Hallelujah Chorus every time the Teacher speaks.)

TEACHER Remember, my child that all the good things fell to you while you were on earth and all the bad to Lois

BUM (Correcting her) Lazarus

TEACHER (Cutting him off) Yeah, uh-huhand now it is he who has consolation here and it is you who are in agony. And thats not all! Theres a great chasm fixed between us and no one from your side who wants to cross it can, and no one from our side who wants to cross it caneither.

(The Bible is passed back down to the Secretary, who is getting the hang of the game and acting more.)

SECRETARY Then, Father Abraham, send Lazarus to my Fathers house, where I have five brothers to warn them so that they too may not come to this place of torment.

TEACHER (Dismissively) Theyve got Moses and the prophets. Let em listen to them.

SECRETARY But if someone from the dead should rise, then they would listen.

(The Bimbo walks over to the subway car and produces a cord from inside of it. She plugs it into her camera. At the same time, one girl shows off and holds a note too long; it becomes a bit obstreperous, and the Teacher crankily cuts her off.)

TEACHER Look, if they dont listen to Moses and the prophets, they aint gonna listen to nobody, even if someone should

TEACHER & GIRLS rise from the dead.

ALL Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.

(The Teacher walks down the steps and stands by the subway board, which changes to a live video feed of the audience. The Bimbo pans the camera through the audience, letting them mug like spectators at a baseball game.)

LEARN YOUR LESSONS WELL (See 2000 Blue Album arrangement.)

TEACHER I CAN SEE A SWATH OF SINNERS SETTIN YONDER AND THEYRE ACTIN LIKE A PACK OF FOOLS. GAZING INTO SPACE, THEY LET THEIR MINDS WANDER, STEAD OF STUDYING THE GOOD LORDS RULES. HEY! YOU BETTER PAY ATTENTION, BUILD YOUR COMPREHENSION, THERES GONNA BE A QUIZ AT YOUR ASCENSION. NOT TO MENTION ANY THREAT OF HELL, BUT IF YOURE SMART, YOULL LEARN YOUR LESSONS WELL.

(The Teacher walks to the magazine stand, quickly enough to prevent applause for this number, where the Amelia board changes to a blackboard with a visual equation: Lamp x Body = Eye. She leads the others slowly, who repeat to themselves like students taking notes.)

The lamp of the body is the eye. If your eye is sound your whole body will be filled with light. (The blackboard changes to Eye = Bad, therefore Body = Darkness.)

TEACHER (Contd) But, if your eye is bad, then your whole body will be darkness. (The equation changes to If Light = Darkness, then Darkness = Darkness^2.

Seeing this, the Biker closes his eyes and gropes about blindly, the set-up for a gag.)

If then the only light you have is darkness the darkness will be doubly dark.

BIKER (Sounding panicky) I cant see!

ALL (Concerned) Whats the matter? (etc.)

BIKER (Opening eyes) Ive got my eyes shut!

(The others groan at the bad joke as the music comes under. Suddenly, theres a sting, as if a light bulb has gone on in the Bikers head.)

Half a tick here! The lampof the bodyof the eyeis soundyou take in the good, out with the bad, and your whole body will be filled with light! I get it!

(Everybody cheers now that the Biker gets the lesson, and he decides to take over the verse. Meanwhile, finally cutting loose as the orchestra kicks it up a notch, the Teacher takes off her glasses and throws off her jacket, letting her hair down as the music kicks in, faster this time.)

Two three four! (Sung)

EVRY BRIGHT DESCRIPTION OF THE PROMISED LAND MEANT, YOU CAN REACH IT IF YOU KEEP ALERT LEARNING EVRY LINE, AND EVRY LAST COMMANDMENT MAY NOT HELP YOU, BUT IT COULDNT HURT FIRST YOU GOTTA READ EM, THEN YOU GOTTA HEED EM YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN YOURE GONNA-NA-NA NEED EM JUST AS OLD ELIJAH SAID TO JEZEBEL YOU BETTER START TO LEARN YOUR LESSONS WELL!

(The Biker sits down on the floor between the Teacher and the Loner, ready to illustrate another lesson and once again quickly enough to prevent audience applause.)

RAPPER Now, no servant shall be the slave of two masters. Either he will love the first

BIKER Hey there, teacher lady, how bout you give me a lesson in anatomy?

RAPPER and hate the second (The Loner lays her head in the Bikers lap. He groans and shoves it off.) or be devoted to the second

(The Biker pushes the Teacher away and throws himself at the Loner.)

BIKER Changed my mind, baby!

RAPPER and think nothing of the first.

TEACHER Take me, Im yours!

BIKER Been there, done that, sold the T-shirt for gas money.

BUM No man can serve God

ALL (Turning to him) What!?

BUM Can you let a man finish a sentence? No man can serve Godand money!

EXECUTIVE Money, you say?

(When everyone hears this, they turn to look at the Executive, who is still separated from the group and now a little put off by the unwanted attention. They drag him down and surround him, holding him hostage. They then take his cigar away from him and push him onto the bench. The Teacher takes the Bible.)

TEACHER There once was a rich man whose land yielded heavy crops. He debated with himself:

(The Executive looks confused. The Teacher thrusts the Bible towards him and indicates where to read.)

EXECUTIVE Oh, what am I to do?

TEACHER He said.

ACTOR (Encouraging) Now go with it. Play around a little.

(The Executive begins to warm up to the idea.)

EXECUTIVE I have not the room to store my produce. Ahh, this is what I will do,

TEACHER He said.

EXECUTIVE I will tear down my storehouses and build them bigger. I will collect in them all my four course meals, and filet mignon, and John Kelly chocolates, and caviar, and my personal staff of cordon bleu chefs, and wine, and then I will say to myself, Man, you have plenty of good things laid by you, enough to last you many years. Take life easy. Eat. Drink. Enjoy yourself.

TEACHER But, then God said to the man,

BUM You fool, this very night you must surrender your life. You have made your money. Who will get it now?

(Music cue. The Secretary seems to have learned a lesson from the parable, and makes as if to go forward and sing. She looks to the Bum, and he looks back as if to say, Who am I to get in your way? Share with us! So she takes center stage and she begins to sing.)

O, BLESS THE LORD, MY SOUL (See the 2001 Yellow Album arrangement.)

SECRETARY O BLESS THE LORD, MY SOUL! HIS GRACE TO THEE PROCLAIM! AND ALL THAT IS WITHIN ME JOIN, TO BLESS HIS HOLY NAME, OH YEA!

SECRETARY (Contd) O BLESS THE LORD, MY SOUL! HIS MERCIES BEAR IN MIND! FORGET NOT ALL HIS BENEFITS, THE LORD, TO THEE, IS KIND.

(At this point, the others begin to get into the number. This is the first time the cast is doing staging in larger groups as opposed to individual movement, showing that they have made progress towards beginning to function as part of a community again.)

SECRETARY & GIRLS HE WILL NOT ALWAYS CHIDE; HE WILL WITH PATIENCE WAIT, HIS WRATH IS EVER SLOW TO RISE.

SECRETARY

AND READY TO ABATE.

AND READY TO ABATE.

AND READY TO,

AND READY TO ABATE, O, YEA!

MEN O, BLESS THE LORD. O, BLESS THE LORD. O, BLESS THE LORD.

AND READY TO ABATE, ABATE.

WOMEN

AND READY TO ABATE,

ABATE.

SECRETARY & GIRLS HE PARDONS ALL THY SINS;

PROLONGS THY FEEBLE BREATH;

HE HEALETH THINE INFIRMITIES.

MEN

ALL THY SINS;

FEEBLE BREATH;

SECRETARY AND RANSOMS THEE FROM DEATH.

GIRLS O, BLESS THE LORD, MY SOUL.

SECRETARY O YEA!

MEN O, BLESS THE LORD, MY SOUL!

SECRETARY & GIRLS HE CLOTHES THEE WITH HIS LOVE;

UPHOLDS THEE WITH HIS TRUTH;

AND LIKE THE EAGLE HE RENEWS

MEN

WITH HIS LOVE,

WITH HIS TRUTH.

SECRETARY THE VIGOR OF THY YOUTH.

SECRETARY & GIRLS THEN BLESS HIS HOLY NAME, WHOSE GRACE HATH MADE THEE WHOLE; WHOSE LOVE AND KINDNESS CROWNS THY DAYS.

SECRETARY

O, BLESS THE LORD, MY SOUL,


O, BLESS THE LORD,

O, BLESS THE LORD, MY SOUL.

MEN O, BLESS THE LORD.

O, BLESS THE LORD.

O, BLESS THE LORD.

O, BLESS THE LORD, MY SOUL, MY SOUL.

WOMEN


MY SOUL.

(The music becomes very fast and rhythmic. As the song ends, the Secretary and the Tease riff like crazyor, more accurately, riff like Shoshana Bean.)

SECRETARY & 2 OTHERS O, BLESS THE LORD, MY SOUL! O, BLESS THE LORD, MY SOUL!

SECRETARY O, BLESS THE LORD, MY SOUL!

O, BLESS THE LORD, MY SOUL!


FIRST GROUP

O, BLESS THE LORD,

O, BLESS THE LORD,

SECOND GROUP

BLESS THE LORD!

SECRETARY (Contd)




FIRST GROUP (Contd) O, BLESS THE LORD,

O, BLESS THE LORD,

O, BLESS THE LORD, O, BLESS THE

SECOND GROUP (Contd) BLESS MY SOUL!

BLESS THE LORD! BLESS MY SOUL!

SECRETARY BLESS THE LORD! BLESS THE LORD! BLESS THE LORD!

MY SOUL! O, BLESS THE LORD,

MY SOUL! O, BLESS THE LORD, MY SOUL!

ALL OTHERS BLESS THE LORD! BLESS THE LORD! BLESS THE LORD! BLESS THE LORD! BLESS THE LORD! BLESS THE LORD!


(At the end of the number, all hit a final pose. After the applause, the Millworker takes the Bible and comes forward to address the others.)

MILLWORKER Jesus says, I bid you to put away anxious thoughts of food and clothes to cover your body. Surely life is more than food, and the body more than clothes

(At the mention of the word body, the Tease leaps up and does her hootchy koochie movements again.)

BIKER (Indicating the Tease) Her body is more than clothes. Look, Ill show ya!

(She slaps him, and he chuckles. The Bum takes the Bible.)

BUM Consider the lilies of the field. They dont work, they dont spin, and yet I tell you, Solomon in all his splendor was not attired like one of these. Now, if thats how God clothes the grass which is here todayand tomorrow is thrown on the fire, will he not all the more clothe you?

(Others consider the question, but arent confident enough that God will actually clothe them to answer affirmatively. So they all look away or down, somewhat guiltily. The Bum regards them gently and a bit sadly. He shares their doubt.)

BUM (Contd) How little faith we have! So dont go around anxiously saying, What am I to eat, what am I to drink?

EXECUTIVE What are we to eat?

ALL Dont ask that!

BUM Set your mindwhere?

ALL (Pointing to heaven, except for the Biker, who points out to be a jack-ass; the

Bum sees and gently corrects his arm and points it up) God.

BUM Gods kingdom and his justice and all the rest will come to you as well. So dont worry about tomorrow. Tomorrow will take care of itself. Each day has problems of its own.

(And all immediately begin telling the audience and each other their problems. A thought occurs to the Punk. Shes fresh from the glow of the last song, decides this is not a good thing to do, and proceeds to start another game. She takes the Bible, reads the start of a beatitude, and tosses it to the next speaker, who will then complete the sentence and start it off for the next guy. Soon, the others like this complete-the-sentence game and pick it up. They begin to get into it, each one challenging the rest in a rhythm that slowly escalates.)

PUNK Blessed are the poor in spirit

BUM For theirs is the kingdom of Heaven. Blessed are they that mourn

LONER For they shall be comforted. Blessed are the meek

TEACHER For they shall inherit the earth. Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for justice

EXECUTIVE For they shall be filled. Blessed are the merciful

TEASE For they shall have mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart

MILLWORKER For they shall see God. Blessed are the peacemakers

BIMBO For they shall, like, be called the children of God. Blessed are they who are persecuted for righteousness sake

BUM (Opening his arms wide in an embracing gesture) For theirs is the kingdom of Heaven!

(The Rapper has been watching, growing more and more upset. These are nice words, but for some other world. What if connecting to God and other people again doesnt work? The mention of being persecuted for righteousness sake is too much for him, for he fears this is precisely what will happen to them. Finally he can stand it no more. He snatches the Bible from the Bum and bursts out :)

RAPPER (With great intensity) Blessed are you! When men shall revile you and persecute you and say all manner of evil against youfalsely.

(But he has hit too close to homethese are all severely emotionally wounded people, after all. Theyre stunned and upset. This is the first moment that hasnt been surprisingly fun and easy. Everyone is silentfor no one is sure what to sayuntil the Actor squirms forward and tries bravely, albeit in a fairly lame way, to change the subject.)

ACTOR Did I ever tell you that I used to read feet?

(The others, puzzled at this nonsensical non sequitur, scoff.) No, its true. Some people read palms or tea leaves, I read feet.

(General disbelief. The Actor runs to his usual foil, the Rapper, picks up his sneakered foot, and looks at the bottom.)

Look what this foot says. It says: Rejoice!

(Others gather around to look.)

RAPPER (Looking at foot) It says no such thing, and dont you dare touch my Jordans again.

(Groans from the others. The Actor tries to raise their spirits. Music cue.)

ACTOR No, no, rejoice and be exceedingly glad. For great is your reward in Heaven.

ALL FOR THE BEST (See 2001 Yellow Album arrangement for reference; either version is fairly

generic, but this has a fast-moving rhythm.)

(The Actor dances and pantomimes goofily, making the others forget the tension of the previous scene.)

ACTOR (Contd) WHEN YOU FEEL SAD, OR UNDER A CURSE, YOUR LIFE IS BAD, YOUR PROSPECTS ARE WORSE.

YOUR WIFE IS SIGHING, CRYING, AND YOUR OLIVE TREE IS DYING, TEMPLES ARE GRAYING, AND TEETH ARE DECAYING, AND CREDITORS WEIGHING YOUR PURSE;

(A la Ted Lewis) Is everybody happy?

OTHERS (Unsure) Ehhh

ACTOR YOUR MOOD AND YOUR ROBE ARE BOTH A DEEP BLUE, YOUD BET THAT JOB HAD NOTHING ON YOU. DONT FORGET THAT WHEN YOU GET TO HEAVEN YOULL BE BLEST YES, ITS ALL FOR THE BEST.

(The Actor looks to the Rapper for help. He started this, and now the Rapper knows what is expected of him as a result. He nodshe will help lighten the mood. He dances as well, an equally goofy routine. It is clear from his words that he has a far more cynical philosophy.)

RAPPER SOME MEN ARE BORN TO LIVE AT EASE, DOING WHAT THEY PLEASE, RICHER THAN THE BEES ARE IN HONEY; NEVER GROWING OLD, NEVER FEELING COLD, PULLING POTS OF GOLD FROM THIN AIR. THE BEST IN EVRY TOWN, BEST AT SHAKING DOWN, BEST AT MAKING MOUNTAINS OF MONEY. THEY CANT TAKE IT WITH THEM, BUT WHAT DO THEY CARE?

THEY GET THE CENTER OF THE MEAT, CUSHIONS ON THEIR FEET, HOUSES ON A STREET WHERE ITS SUNNY, SUMMERS AT THE SEA, WINTERS WARM AND FREE, ALL OF THIS AND WE GET THE REST. BUT WHO IS THE LAND FOR? THE SUN AND THE SAND FOR? YOU GUESSED ITS ALL FOR THE BEST.

(The Actor and the Rapper now sing their verses together, doing their respective dances at the same time.)

ACTOR WHEN YOU FEEL SAD,

OR UNDER A CURSE,

YOUR LIFE IS BAD,

YOUR PROSPECTS ARE WORSE.

YOUR WIFE IS SIGHING, CRYING,

AND YOUR OLIVE TREE IS DYING, TEMPLES ARE GRAYING, AND TEETH ARE DECAYING, AND CREDITORS WEIGHING YOUR PURSE;

RAPPER SOME MEN ARE BORN TO LIVE AT EASE, DOING WHAT THEY PLEASE, RICHER THAN THE BEES ARE IN HONEY; NEVER GROWING OLD, NEVER FEELING COLD, PULLING POTS OF GOLD FROM THIN AIR. THE BEST IN EVRY TOWN, BEST AT SHAKING DOWN, BEST AT MAKING MOUNTAINS OF MONEY. THEY CANT TAKE IT WITH THEM, BUT WHAT DO THEY CARE?

ACTOR (Contd) YOUR MOOD AND YOUR ROBE ARE BOTH A DEEP BLUE,

YOUD BET THAT JOB

HAD NOTHING ON YOU. DONT FORGET THAT WHEN YOU GO TO HEAVEN YOULL BE BLEST.

YES, ITS ALL FOR THE BEST.

RAPPER (Contd) THEY GET THE CENTER OF THE MEAT, CUSHIONS ON THEIR FEET, HOUSES ON A STREET WHERE ITS SUNNY, SUMMERS AT THE SEA, WINTERS WARM AND FREE, ALL OF THIS AND WE GET THE REST BUT WHO IS THE LAND FOR? THE SUN AND THE SAND FOR? YOU GUESSED ITS ALL FOR THE BEST.

(Finally, they do a vaudevillian joke, as they perform an elaborate and dancey set of motions with their lines.)

ACTOR Now, how can you look at the speck of sawdust in your brothers eye, when all the time theres this great plank in your own?

RAPPER I dont know. How can you look at the speck of sawdust in your brothers eye, when all the time theres this great plank in your own?

(The Teacher, who has flipped through the Bible to this part, notices that they screwed up the joke and rushes over to the Actor just before hes about to continue. She whispers in his ear, and then he nods. Once more, with feeling)

ACTOR Orhow can you take the speck of sawdust out of your brothers eye when all the time theres this great plank in your own?

RAPPER I dont know. How can you take the speck of sawdust out of your brothers eye when all the time theres this great plank stickin out of your own?

ACTOR You hypocrite!

(Music stops. The Actor turns to the Rapper.) First take the plank out of your own eye so you can see clearly to take the speck of sawdust out of your brothers.

(The Shopkeeper appears from behind the counter to blow a horn halfheartedly, intended to provide the illusion that this was a hilarious vaudeville punch line, and

then disappears. Still cynical, the Rapper steps forward.)

RAPPER Wait a minute, boy! Thats no answer to the question!

ACTOR Wait a minute, boydid I promise an answer to the question?

RAPPER No

ACTOR Ha-haaaaa!

(One of the others lets out a sports fan whistle [the annoying kind that you absolutely hate to hear at a stadium, two fingers involved, through the teeth]. The music gets very fast like silent movie accompaniment, and the two perform their verses again, arms around each others shoulders, hopping and kicking. The Amelia board changes to show clips of Charlie Chaplin movies, in which his motions and dancing are synchronized with the music and stage business. If a strobe light is available, this is a good time to use one, the women singing the Actors part and the men singing the Rappers part.)

ACTOR & GIRLS WHEN YOU FEEL SAD,

OR UNDER A CURSE,

YOUR LIFE IS BAD,

YOUR PROSPECTS ARE WORSE.

YOUR WIFE IS SIGHING, CRYING,

AND YOUR OLIVE TREE IS DYING, TEMPLES ARE GRAYING, AND TEETH ARE DECAYING, AND CREDITORS WEIGHING YOUR PURSE; YOUR MOOD AND YOUR ROBE ARE BOTH A DEEP BLUE,

RAPPER & BOYS SOME MEN ARE BORN TO LIVE AT EASE, DOING WHAT THEY PLEASE, RICHER THAN THE BEES ARE IN HONEY; NEVER GROWING OLD, NEVER FEELING COLD, PULLING POTS OF GOLD FROM THIN AIR. THE BEST IN EVRY TOWN, BEST AT SHAKING DOWN, BEST AT MAKING MOUNTAINS OF MONEY. THEY CANT TAKE IT WITH THEM, BUT WHAT DO THEY CARE? THEY GET THE CENTER OF THE MEAT, CUSHIONS ON THEIR FEET, HOUSES ON A STREET WHERE ITS SUNNY,

ACTOR & GIRLS (Contd) YOUD BET THAT JOB

HAD NOTHING ON YOU. DONT FORGET THAT WHEN YOU GO TO HEAVEN YOULL BE BLEST.

(+ Others) YES, ITS ALL FOR THE

RAPPER & BOYS (Contd) SUMMERS AT THE SEA, WINTERS WARM AND FREE, ALL OF THIS AND WE GET THE REST BUT WHO IS THE LAND FOR? THE SUN AND THE SAND FOR? YOU GUESSED

ITS ALL FOR THE

ACTOR You must never be distressed.

OTHERS YES, ITS ALL FOR THE

ACTOR All your wrongs will be redressed.

OTHERS YES, ITS ALL FOR THE

RAPPER Someones got to be oppressed.

(The Actor bops him on the head.)

ALL YES, ITS ALL FOR THE BEST!

(After the applause for the number, the Millworker takes the Bible and heads all the way up the steps. Everyone else follows, until a chain of people is made down to the street. They sit and listen.)

MILLWORKER Judge not, that you yourself shall not be judged. For whatever you deal out to others

(He kicks the Actor, who hits the next person down the line. The blow travels down the line, in various forms of comic violence, accompanied by a vocal noise for each one, to the Teacher, who is about to hit the Loner when the Millworker resumes his line.)

will be dealt back to you.

(The Teacher reconsiders, and hugs the Loner instead. She beams, looks at her adoringly, and hugs the Teacher backthis is obviously a girl who doesnt get hugged often. She then looks up and says some sort of cheesy intro line before

going into a chorus of Were All in This Together. She is promptly shushed by everyone, and she sticks her tongue out at them playfully. As they walk back to the main floor, the Millworker hands the Bible to the Actor, who walks to the Executive, snatches his cigar, and places the Bible into his hand instead. He points to the part where he should start.)

EXECUTIVE A sower went to sow some seed

(He looks at the Actor as if to say, What the hell is this? The Actor encourages him to continue. The Executive shrugs and continues.)

and as he sowed, some seed fell along the footpath (In the manner of a school play, each of the sections of the parable is acted out. In this instance, the Secretary collapses near the Bum and the Punk.)

where it was trampled onand the birds ate it up. (The Bum and the Punk imitate birds and begin to peck at the Secretary.)

Some seed fell on rock. (The Tease collapses near the Rapper, who sits on her.)

and after coming up, withered for lack of moisture. (The Tease tries to stand up, but cant, due to the weight of the Rapper.)

Some seed fell in among weeds (The Millworker falls next to the Biker.)

and the weeds grew up with it (They both stand, and the Biker pantomimes taking a hit of weed.)

and choked it. (The Biker then chokes the Millworker until they both collapse.)

And some of the seed fell into good soil

(The Loner collapses near the Teacher and the Bimbo. A beat during which they dont react; then the Bimbo realizes its their turn.)

BIMBO (Sotto voce) Hey, thats us!

(All three stand up and produce jazz hands, singing in harmony.)

BIMBO, TEACHER & LONER Good soil!

EXECUTIVE And it grew, and it yielded a hundredfold!

(The Actor steps forward and takes the Bible back. He then uses the Executives cigar as a microphone and becomes a game show host.)

ACTOR If you have ears to hear, then listen,listen, for this is what the parable means. Now, for one million dollars: do you know what the seed is?

EXECUTIVE (Over-thinking it, genuinely thinking its the answer, as he doesnt know any better than the rest of them)

Wait, this is obviously a trick questiona Freudian metaphorI remember the talk I hadwhen a mommy and a daddy love each other very much A baby!

ACTOR Uhno. But dont worry, pal, you get to go home with a consolation prize: a free lesson from the Big J.C., with the promise of other fabulous prizes yet to come! The seed is the word of God

(The Actor begins to explain the parable to the Executive, leading him from group to group. Until the Actor and the Executive get to them, each is frozen in the position in which they ended their previous pantomime.)

Now, behind door number one, that seed which fell along the footpath represents those who hear the Word, but then the Devil comes and carries them off for fear they should believe and be saved. And behind door number two, that seed which fell upon rock, oh, they receive the Word with joy when they first hear it, but they have no root and so in time of testing they desert. Behind door number three, that which fell among the weeds, they hear the Word, but their further growth is impaired by caresand wealthand pleasures of the world. Oh, no, no, no! They bring nothing to fruit.

(The Biker takes another puff on his joint.)

BIKER (To Millworker) No fruit, buddy.

ACTOR (Coming to the last group, which has once again lost interest and is drooping languidly)

But, that which fell among good soilhey, good soil, good soil! (The girls repeat their Good soil routine.)

they hear the word with a good and honest heart and through their perseverance yield a harvest. Thanks for playing!

(As the Actor walks up the stairs to the platform, everyone follows him to listen to him read, except for the Executive and the Bum. The Bum returns to his position from the beginning of the show to eat a little bit of bread and have a drink, and the Executive watches from the other side of the stage, deep in thought. Despite his poverty, the Bum is still thankful for what he has.)

ALL GOOD GIFTS (For reference, consult the 2001 Yellow Album arrangement.)

EXECUTIVE WE PLOW THE FIELDS, AND SCATTER THE GOOD SEED ON THE LAND, BUT IT IS FED AND WATERED BY GODS ALMIGHTY HAND. HE SENDS THE SNOW IN WINTER, THE WARMTH TO SWELL THE GRAIN, THE BREEZES AND THE SUNSHINE, AND SOFT, REFRESHING RAIN.

BUM (Refrain)

ALL GOOD GIFTS AROUND US ARE SENT FROM HEAVEN ABOVE. THEN THANK THE LORD, O, THANK THE LORD FOR ALL HIS LOVE.

(The Executive suddenly feels guilty to have so much more than he needs. He listens from where he is as the Actor reads to the group.)

ACTOR So dont store up your treasure on earth, where it grows rusty and moth-eaten, and thieves break in to steal it. No, store up your treasure in heaven, where there is no moth, and no rust, and no thief. For where your treasure is, so will your heart be also.

(All form a group and sing to God, some raising their heads, some holding each others hands. This is sort of the moment where they truly bond as a group.)

ALL WE THANK THEE, THEN O FATHER, FOR ALL THINGS BRIGHT AND GOOD, THE SEED TIME AND THE HARVEST, OUR LIFE, OUR HEALTH, OUR FOOD. NO GIFTS HAVE WE TO OFFER FOR ALL THY LOVE IMPARTS, BUT THAT WHICH THOU DESIREST, OUR HUMBLE THANKFUL HEARTS.

(The Bum joins them in singing. Refrain :) ALL GOOD GIFTS AROUND US ARE SENT FROM HEAVEN ABOVE.

BUM SO THANK THE LORD, O, THANK THE LORD FOR ALL HIS LOVE.

OTHERS AH.

ONE GIRL

LOVE.

(It suddenly clicks for the Executive. As the others repeat the chorus, the Executives voice soars above them.)

EXECUTIVE I REALLY WANT TO THANK YOU LORD,

I WANT TO THANK YOU LORD, THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR LOVE. I WANT TO THANK YOU LORD, I WANT TO THANK YOU LORD, OH, THANK YOU LORD!

OTHERS

ALL GOOD GIFTS AROUND US,

ARE SENT FROM HEAVEN ABOVE ALL GOOD GIFTS AROUND US.

(The music goes into a slightly extended repeat of the refrain. The rest of the group face front and begin clapping to the rhythm as they sing, a la Seasons of Love or the end of Hey Jude, encouraging the Executive to live the message. First, its just their voices and the clapping. He takes off his trench coat, and the bass comes back into the mix. And he gives it to the Bum, who is shivering in the cold, adding the drums back to the mix. He then walks back to the group, much more at peace than he was before, the whole band and cast repeating the refrain up to around us [as above] one more time. The Bum turns his eyes to heaven, smiling.)

BUM HEY, THANK YOU LORD, OH LORD

(Wearing his new coat, the Bum rejoins the group as the song ends. After the applause, the Biker breaks the mood in his inimitable fashion by starting a high energy drill sergeant game, barking orders which the others follow, boot camp style.)

BIKER Attention!

(All follow orders given by the Biker.) Right-left! Left-right! Get down! Get up! Get down! Get up! Left-right! Wiggle your ears! Hup, two three four! Hup, two, three, four!

(All fall into rank and march back down to the stage. The Biker takes the Bible. A la drill sergeant :)

Dont give dogs what is holy

ALL Two-three!

(They stop marching.)

BIKER and dont throw your pearls to the pigs for they will only trample on them and then theyll turn and cut you to pieces.

(He starts another count-off, this one band leader style, which leads the others to improvise a jazz theme for a film noir as they get into place for the next parable.)

A-one, a-two, a-you know what to do.

(The Teacher takes the Bible.)

TEACHER Once upon a time there was a man who had two sons

(The Secretary steps forward to be the father, and the Rapper becomes the son. Both of them look to the magazine stand, and the Shopkeeper screams and ducks, but is dragged out into the open.)

and the younger said to his father:

(The Bible is passed to the Shopkeeper, who reads timidly.)

SHOPKEEPER Father, give me my share of the property.

TEACHER So, he divided his estate between them.

(The Secretary rips a phone book in half and hands one half to the Shopkeeper and one to the Rapper.)

A few days later the younger son turned the whole of his share into cash and left home for a distant country, where he squandered it in reckless living. He had spent it all, when a severe famine fell upon the country and he began to feel the pinch.

(The Bum pinches the Shopkeeper.)

SHOPKEEPER Ouch!

TEACHER So he decided to attach himself to one of the local landowners

(The Teacher, with a sucking sound, attaches the Shopkeeper to the Actor.) who sent him on the farm to mind the swine.

ACTOR (Ordering the Shopkeeper) Swine!

SHOPKEEPER (Aghast; hes Jewish, theyre not kosher) Swine?

ACTOR Pigs!

SHOPKEEPER (Seeing his predicament, nervously makes a lame joke) Well, thats swine with me!

ACTOR You know something? Youve got spunk. (The Shopkeeper smiles hopefully.) I hate spunk!

(The Actor throws the Shopkeeper towards the Millworker and the Loner, who are acting like pigs. On the appropriate line, he mimes moving for one of the pods. Yes, he actually gets down trying to eat with the pigs! His inner ham youll pardon the expressionis out and playing! But they shoo him off.)

TEACHER He would have been glad to have filled his belly with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything. Then he came to his senses (BOING!) and said, How many of my fathers paid servants have more food than they can eat, and here I am starving to death. I will set off and I will go to my father and I will say to him: Father, I have sinned against God and against you; I am no longer fit to be called your son; treat me as one of your paid servants. So he set out for his fathers house, but while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and his heart went out to him.

(The Secretary and Shopkeeper pantomime big cartoon hearts beating [lub-dub, lub-dub, lub-dub, lub-dub]. As they run in slow motion towards each other, everyone sings the theme from Chariots of Fire.)

The son ran to meet his father, threw his arms around him, and kissed him, saying: Father, I have sinned against God and against you; I am no longer fit to be called your son; treat me as one of your paid servants. But the father called to one of his servants:

(The Secretary pantomimes to the Tease.) Quick, fetch me my robe, my best one. Put a ring on his finger and shoes on his feet and bring the fatted calf

SHOPKEEPER (Cutting in) A nice kosher one, I hope!

TEACHER and kill it

(She points to the Bum.)

BUM Oh, sure! Pick on the homeless guy!

(He dies like a cow, with a long drawn-out final moo. At the end, croaking out his final words :)

KosherforPassover!

TEACHER And let us have a feast to celebrate the day, for this son of mine was lost and is found. And the festivities began!

(All begin to dance and sing Hava Nagila. Apparently they are enacting festivities at this Jewish home. The Actor takes the Bible.)

ACTOR Stop it! Stop it! Thats not the end of the story! Now, the elder son was out on the farm, working.

(The Rapper pantomimes workingor rather, working it. Hes break-dancing. Finally, he ends his little routine with a sigh of relief.)

RAPPER Whew!

ACTOR (Rolling his eyes) Anyway on his way back, as he approached the house, he heard music and dancing.

(Everyone begins singing and dancing again.) Thats not the end either! Stop, dammit! He called to one of the servants and asked him what it meant.

(The Tease pantomimes the servant as the Actor speaks like Rain Man.) The servant said: Uh, uh, uh, your nephewnope, nope, nope, your brother-in-law, nope, nope, nopeyour cousinyour brother, your, your brothers come back home again and your fathers killed the fatted calf cause he has him back safe and sound, yup, yup, yup! Definitely, definitely your brother, definitely your brother! But the brother was

(The Rapper enacts being boiling mad. The Actor watches him, searching for the right word to describe what he sees.)

irritated.

(The Rapper, who has been fuming, lunges for the Actor.)

RAPPER Oh, cmon!

ACTOR Okay, alright, he was pretty damned mad!

another kind of godspell

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