Andrew Wallis’sChina Notebook and Insomniac

Cure

A brief outline of my time teaching and travelling in China

2006

Yong Xing Middle School Teachers

� From the photo you can see, what most of you had already suspected, that I was employed to pretty up the place.

� This is actually my audition for Chinese Idol at a Karaoke Bar

Yong Xing Middle School Students

I thought the students were trying to show me affection until the hands went around my throat.

I suspect some of my students weren’t to happy with that lesson.

Yong Xing Middle School - My class

� With the population crisis in China, crowding has become a bit of a problem.

� These aren’t even students, this is my living room.

Cruising Down the Yangzte

� Here is me with my fellow travellers. Bill & Jan from Oz, and teachers to boot, and Fayed from Canada.

� Even though we promised not to sing anymore they made us disembark.

The Three Gorges Dam Project

Here I am looking a

little disappointed. I

thought the Three

Gorges were three

people who, like me,

ate way too much

food.

Leshan - Place of many large Buddhas

You have to love a place that build statues to people who also love there beer and like to dodge the salads.

I am starting to believe in reincarnation.

The Pandas of Chengdu

The plight of the

Panda was more

disturbing than I

realised. As you can

see their love of

alcohol is destroying

their future. And their

use of profanity also

took me by surprise.

Tut tut!!

Pingyao - Primary School Students

Here are some of the oompah loompahs I have employed at my new Chocolate Factory.

Xian - Natural Springs of the Concubines

After having my face slapped on numerous occasions and being branded a pervert. I quickly realised that concubines no longer lived here and that those women were merely fellow tourists. Now you tell me!!!

Terracotta Warr iors - X ian

As China is famous for

its pottery I thought

whilst I was in China I

would give pottery a

go.

Here are a few of my

earlier attempts!

The Great Wall - Beijing

Although historians for

some time believed

that the wall was built

to defend against

marauders. I am now

a firm believer in

the new theory that the

wall was is in fact built

to keep the rabbits out.

Temple Gate - BeijingHere is my new place I

bought in China. I am

standing with the Real

Estate guy who

assures me he can

also sell me a great

disused stone wall and

10 000 6ft terracotta

gnomes from Xian. I am

becoming quite the

savvy business man.

The Bund - Shanghai

Here I am looking

seductive and very

sweaty (380). Ok girls

calm yourselves down.

If I recall I was

pondering what Freud

would say about the

cityscape of Shanghai.

THE ENDPlease feel free to contact me:

C/O The Chinese Attitude Ajustment & Forced Labour Camp

Desolate Outer Mongolia, China.