wordiness menuexit sentence combining why is the second example more effective than the first? many...
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Wordiness
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Sentence Combining
Why is the second example more effective than the first?
Many geologists think that the San Andreas Fault is
going to generate an earthquake. This earthquake is
likely to happen sometime in the next 20 years. This
earthquake is likely to be very intense.
Many geologists think that the San Andreas Fault is
going to generate a very intense earthquake sometime in
the next 20 years.
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i
Wordiness
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When you combine short, related sentences and sentence parts into single sentences, your writing will
•flow more smoothly
•clearly show relationships among ideas
•be more interesting to read
Sentence Combining
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Wordiness
Use the following sentence combining strategies as you revise. Click on the strategy you want to explore.
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MENU
Sentence Combining
•Combine whole sentences
•Combine sentence parts
•Insert words or phrases
•Use an appositive phrase
•Combine with who, which, and that
Wordiness
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Combine Whole Sentences Use a coordinating conjunction—and, or, but, for, so, yet, nor—to combine two sentences that are of equal importance and are closely related in some way.
Sentence Combining
Continue…
Wordiness
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Combine Whole Sentences Use a coordinating conjunction—and, or, but, for, so, yet, nor—to combine two sentences that are of equal importance and are closely related in some way.
Sentence Combining
How could you combine these sentences using a coordinating conjunction?
Seabiscuit was a small horse. He had the speed of a
much larger animal.
Click to see a revision
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Wordiness
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Combine Whole Sentences Use a coordinating conjunction—and, or, but, for, so, yet, nor—to combine two sentences that are of equal importance and are closely related in some way.
Sentence Combining
How could you combine these sentences using a coordinating conjunction?
Seabiscuit was a small horse. He had the speed of a
much larger animal.
PREVIOUS
Wordiness
MENU EXIT
Combine Whole Sentences Use a coordinating conjunction—and, or, but, for, so, yet, nor—to combine two sentences that are of equal importance and are closely related in some way.
Sentence Combining
Seabiscuit was a small horse. He had the speed of a
much larger animal.
. He
PREVIOUS
Wordiness
MENU EXIT
Combine Whole Sentences Use a coordinating conjunction—and, or, but, for, so, yet, nor—to combine two sentences that are of equal importance and are closely related in some way.
Sentence Combining
Seabiscuit was a small horse had the speed of a
much larger animal.
PREVIOUS
Wordiness
MENU EXIT
Combine Whole Sentences Use a coordinating conjunction—and, or, but, for, so, yet, nor—to combine two sentences that are of equal importance and are closely related in some way.
Sentence Combining
Seabiscuit was a small horse had the speed of a
much larger animal.
, but he
PREVIOUS
Wordiness
MENU EXIT
Combine Whole Sentences Use a coordinating conjunction—and, or, but, for, so, yet, nor—to combine two sentences that are of equal importance and are closely related in some way.
Sentence Combining
Seabiscuit was a small horse had the speed of a
much larger animal.
, but he
Notice how combining the sentences makes the relationship between the ideas clearer.
Next
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Wordiness
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Combine Whole Sentences
Sentence Combining
Which of these sentences could be combined using coordinating conjunctions?
My great-grandfather Jorge was born in Zamora. His older
brother was born in Madrid. In those days, families often
had several sons. Only the oldest son inherited the family
fortune.
Click to see the answer
PREVIOUS
Wordiness
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Combine Whole Sentences
Sentence Combining
Which of these sentences could be combined using coordinating conjunctions?
My great-grandfather Jorge was born in Zamora. His older
brother was born in Madrid. In those days, families often
had several sons. Only the oldest son inherited the
family fortune.
Click to see a revision
PREVIOUS
Wordiness
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My great-grandfather Jorge was born in Zamora. His older
brother was born in Madrid. In those days, families often had
several sons. Only the oldest son inherited the family
fortune.
ORIGINAL
REVISED
My great-grandfather Jorge was born in Zamora, and his
older brother was born in Madrid. In those days, families
often had several sons, but only the oldest son inherited the
family fortune.
Sentence Combining
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Combine Whole Sentences
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Wordiness
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Combine Whole Sentences
Sentence Combining
Use subordinating conjunctions like these to combine two sentences whose ideas are not equally important. The less important sentence then becomes a subordinate clause.
when
after
before
until
while
since
because
as if
so that
provided whether
if
unless
though
although
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Wordiness
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Combine Whole Sentences
Sentence Combining
How might these two sentences be combined using a subordinating conjunction?
I tried out for the swim team. I wanted to be like my
grandmother Maria.
Click to see a revision
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Wordiness
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Combine Whole Sentences
Sentence Combining
This revision combines the two sentences, making the less important idea the subordinate clause.
I tried out for the swim team. I wanted to be like my
grandmother Maria.
ORIGINAL
REVISED
I tried out for the swim team because I wanted to be like my
grandmother Maria.
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PREVIOUS
Wordiness
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Combine Whole Sentences
Sentence Combining
How would you combine these sentences using subordinating conjunctions?
Jorge decided to go to the Philippines. Opportunities were
better there. He didn’t know anyone. He found work right away.
Click to see a revision
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Wordiness
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Combine Whole Sentences
Sentence Combining
Notice how much more smoothly the revised sentences flow. Also notice that the relationships between ideas are now clearer.
Jorge decided to go to the Philippines. Opportunities were
better there. He didn’t know anyone. He found work right away.
ORIGINAL
REVISED
Jorge decided to go to the Philippines because opportunities
were better there. Although he didn’t know anyone, he found
work right away.
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Wordiness
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Combine Sentence Parts
Sentence Combining
Two sentences may share the same subject or predicate. Combine the sentences by creating a compound subject or a compound predicate.
Continue…
Wordiness
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Combine Sentence Parts
Sentence Combining
Two sentences may share the same subject or predicate. Combine the sentences by creating a compound subject or a compound predicate.
PREVIOUS
How can these sentences be combined by creating a compound subject?
My teammates always laughed at my jokes. The coach
laughed, too.
Click to see a revision
Wordiness
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Combine Sentence Parts
Sentence Combining
Two sentences may share the same subject or predicate. Combine the sentences by creating a compound subject or a compound predicate.
PREVIOUS
Because the students and the coach are both performing the same action, these sentences can easily be combined.
My teammates always laughed at my jokes. The coach
laughed, too.
ORIGINAL
REVISED
My teammates and the coach always laughed at my jokes.
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Wordiness
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Combine Sentence Parts
Sentence Combining
Which subjects and predicates in these sentences could be combined?
Jorge hoped to meet someone at the dance. Pilar Luisa
hoped to meet someone there too. They met during the first
samba. They have been together ever since.
Click to see the answer
PREVIOUS
Wordiness
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Combine Sentence Parts
Sentence Combining
Which subjects and predicates in these sentences could be combined?
Jorge hoped to meet someone at the dance. Pilar Luisa
hoped to meet someone there too. They met during the first
samba. They have been together ever since.
Click to see a revision
PREVIOUS
Wordiness
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Combine Sentence Parts
Sentence Combining
Combining similar subjects and predicates with coordinating conjunctions gives the paragraph a better flow and makes it more interesting to read.
Jorge and Pilar Luisa both hoped to meet someone at the
dance. They met during the first samba and have been
together ever since.
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Wordiness
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Insert Words or Phrases
Sentence Combining
Combine sentences by inserting a word from one sentence into another sentence.
Continue…
Wordiness
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Insert Words or Phrases
Sentence Combining
Combine sentences by inserting a word from one sentence into another sentence.
PREVIOUS
How could these two sentences be combined?
We stumbled along the path. It was a rough and rocky path.
Click to see a revision
Wordiness
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Insert Words or Phrases
Sentence Combining
Combine sentences by inserting a word from one sentence into another sentence.
PREVIOUS
How could these two sentences be combined?
We stumbled along the path. It was a rough and rocky path.
Wordiness
MENU EXIT
Insert Words or Phrases
Sentence Combining
Combine sentences by inserting a word from one sentence into another sentence.
PREVIOUS
Insert the description of the path into the first sentence.
We stumbled along the path. It was a rough and rocky path. path. It was a
Wordiness
MENU EXIT
Insert Words or Phrases
Sentence Combining
Combine sentences by inserting a word from one sentence into another sentence.
PREVIOUS
Insert the description of the path into the first sentence.
We stumbled along the path. It was a rough and rocky path.
Wordiness
MENU EXIT
Insert Words or Phrases
Sentence Combining
Combine sentences by inserting a word from one sentence into another sentence.
PREVIOUS
Insert the description of the path into the first sentence.
We stumbled along the path. It warough and rocky path.
Wordiness
MENU EXIT
Insert Words or Phrases
Sentence Combining
Combine sentences by inserting a word from one sentence into another sentence.
PREVIOUS
Insert the description of the path into the first sentence.
We stumbled along the pat rough and rocky path.
Wordiness
MENU EXIT
Insert Words or Phrases
Sentence Combining
Combine sentences by inserting a word from one sentence into another sentence.
PREVIOUS
Insert the description of the path into the first sentence.
We stumbled along the rough and rocky path.
Next
Wordiness
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Insert Words or Phrases
Sentence Combining
In this example, what words could be inserted from one sentence into the other?
The best-known earthquake fault in the United States is in
California. It is the San Andreas Fault.
Click to see a revision
PREVIOUS
Wordiness
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Insert Words or Phrases
Sentence Combining
The new sentence is now concise and direct.
The best-known earthquake fault in the United States is in
California. It is the San Andreas Fault.
ORIGINAL
REVISED
One of the best-known earthquake faults in the United States
is the San Andreas Fault in California.
Next
PREVIOUS
Wordiness
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Insert Words or Phrases
Sentence Combining
PREVIOUS
Sometimes the form of a word must be changed before it is added to another sentence. You may need to add an ending such as –n, -y, -ing, or –ly.
Continue…
Wordiness
Click to see the word that must change form
MENU EXIT
Insert Words or Phrases
Sentence Combining
Sometimes the form of a word must be changed before it is added to another sentence. You may need to add an ending such as –n, -y, -ing, or –ly.
PREVIOUS
Which word must change form when these sentences are combined?
The changes to the drawings were challenging to execute.
The changes were technical.
Wordiness
MENU EXIT
Insert Words or Phrases
Sentence Combining
PREVIOUS
Sometimes the form of a word must be changed before it is added to another sentence. You may need to add an ending such as –n, -y, -ing, or –ly.
Click to see a revision
Which word must change form when these sentences are combined?
The changes to the drawings were challenging to execute.
The changes were technical.
Wordiness
MENU EXIT
Insert Words or Phrases
Sentence Combining
PREVIOUS
Sometimes the form of a word must be changed before it is added to another sentence. You may need to add an ending such as –n, -y, -ing, or –ly.
Which word must change form when these sentences are combined?
The changes to the drawings were challenging to execute.
The changes were technical.
Wordiness
MENU EXIT
Insert Words or Phrases
Sentence Combining
PREVIOUS
Sometimes the form of a word must be changed before it is added to another sentence. You may need to add an ending such as –n, -y, -ing, or –ly.
The changes to the drawings were challenging to execute.
The changes were technical.The changes were technical.
Wordiness
MENU EXIT
Insert Words or Phrases
Sentence Combining
PREVIOUS
Sometimes the form of a word must be changed before it is added to another sentence. You may need to add an ending such as –n, -y, -ing, or –ly.
The changes to the drawings were challenging to execute.
Wordiness
MENU EXIT
Insert Words or Phrases
Sentence Combining
PREVIOUS
Sometimes the form of a word must be changed before it is added to another sentence. You may need to add an ending such as –n, -y, -ing, or –ly.
The changes to the drawings were challenging to
execute.
Wordiness
MENU EXIT
Insert Words or Phrases
Sentence Combining
PREVIOUS
Sometimes the form of a word must be changed before it is added to another sentence. You may need to add an ending such as –n, -y, -ing, or –ly.
The changes to the drawings were challenging
to execute.
Wordiness
MENU EXIT
Insert Words or Phrases
Sentence Combining
PREVIOUS
Sometimes the form of a word must be changed before it is added to another sentence. You may need to add an ending such as –n, -y, -ing, or –ly.
The changes to the drawings were challenging
to execute.
technically
Wordiness
MENU EXIT
Insert Words or Phrases
Sentence Combining
PREVIOUS
Sometimes the form of a word must be changed before it is added to another sentence. You may need to add an ending such as –n, -y, -ing, or –ly.
Next
The changes to the drawings were challenging
to execute.
technically
Wordiness
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Insert Words or Phrases
Sentence Combining
PREVIOUS
What word in these sentences could change form in order to combine the two sentences?
We loved the marching band. They were from Australia.
Click to see a revision
Wordiness
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Insert Words or Phrases
Sentence Combining
PREVIOUS
Adding –n to Australia turns it into an adjective which can be used to describe the marching band.
We loved the marching band. They were from Australia. ORIGINAL
REVISED
We loved the Australian marching band.
Next
Wordiness
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Insert Words or Phrases
Sentence Combining
PREVIOUS
A phrase from one sentence can be added to another sentence to make one concise sentence.
Continue…
Wordiness
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Insert Words or Phrases
Sentence Combining
PREVIOUS
A phrase from one sentence can be added to another sentence to make one concise sentence.
Which phrase in the second sentence could be moved to the first sentence to make a single statement?
The clowns were amusing. They were in the miniature car.
Click to see the phrase
Wordiness
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Insert Words or Phrases
Sentence Combining
PREVIOUS
A phrase from one sentence can be added to another sentence to make one concise sentence.
Which phrase in the second sentence could be moved to the first sentence to make a single statement?
The clowns were amusing. They were in the miniature car.
Click to see a revision
Wordiness
MENU EXIT
Insert Words or Phrases
Sentence Combining
PREVIOUS
A phrase from one sentence can be added to another sentence to make one concise sentence.
The clowns were amusing. They were in the miniature car.ORIGINAL
REVISED
The clowns in the miniature car were amusing.
Next
Wordiness
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Insert Words or Phrases
Sentence Combining
PREVIOUS
What phrase can be added to the first sentence so that the second sentence is no longer needed?
Detour signs are posted along Route 91. They are posted
every twenty-five miles.
Click to see the phrase
Wordiness
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Insert Words or Phrases
Sentence Combining
PREVIOUS
What phrase can be added to the first sentence so that the second sentence is no longer needed?
Detour signs are posted along Route 91. They are posted
every twenty-five miles.
Click to see a revision
Wordiness
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Insert Words or Phrases
Sentence Combining
PREVIOUS
What phrase can be added to the first sentence so that the second sentence is no longer needed?
Detour signs are posted along Route 91. They are posted
every twenty-five miles.
Wordiness
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Insert Words or Phrases
Sentence Combining
PREVIOUS
Detour signs are posted along Route 91. They are posted
every twenty-five miles.every twenty-five miles.
They are posted
Wordiness
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Insert Words or Phrases
Sentence Combining
PREVIOUS
Detour signs are posted along Route 91.
Wordiness
MENU EXIT
Insert Words or Phrases
Sentence Combining
PREVIOUS
Detour signs are posted along Route 91.
Wordiness
MENU EXIT
Insert Words or Phrases
Sentence Combining
PREVIOUS
Detour signs are posted along Route 91.
Wordiness
MENU EXIT
Insert Words or Phrases
Sentence Combining
PREVIOUS
Detour signs are posted along Route 91.
Wordiness
MENU EXIT
Insert Words or Phrases
Sentence Combining
PREVIOUS
Detour signs are posted along Route 91.every twenty-five miles
Wordiness
MENU EXIT
Insert Words or Phrases
Sentence Combining
PREVIOUS
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Detour signs are posted along Route 91.every twenty-five miles
Wordiness
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Use an Appositive Phrase
Sentence Combining
An appositive is a noun or noun phrase that identifies or explains a noun or pronoun.
Continue…
Wordiness
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Use an Appositive Phrase
Sentence Combining
An appositive is a noun or noun phrase that identifies or explains a noun or pronoun.
PREVIOUS
What is the appositive phrase in this sentence?
A favorite dish in Japan is nori, a seaweed, and rice.
Click to see the appositive phrase
Wordiness
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Use an Appositive Phrase
Sentence Combining
An appositive is a noun or noun phrase that identifies or explains a noun or pronoun.
PREVIOUS
What is the appositive phrase in this sentence?
A favorite dish in Japan is nori, a seaweed, and rice.
Next
Wordiness
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Use an Appositive Phrase
Sentence Combining
PREVIOUS
When two sentences include information about the same noun or pronoun, change one sentence into an appositive.
Continue…
Wordiness
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Sentence Combining
PREVIOUS
Which sentence could be turned into an appositive phrase and added to the other sentence?
The mayor met with Frank Battaglia. Battaglia is the grand
marshal of the parade.
When two sentences include information about the same noun or pronoun, change one sentence into an appositive.
Click to see the sentence
Use an Appositive Phrase
Wordiness
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Sentence Combining
PREVIOUS
Click to see a revision
When two sentences include information about the same noun or pronoun, change one sentence into an appositive.
Which sentence could be turned into an appositive phrase and added to the other sentence?
The mayor met with Frank Battaglia. Battaglia is the grand
marshal of the parade.
Use an Appositive Phrase
Wordiness
MENU EXIT
Sentence Combining
PREVIOUS
When two sentences include information about the same noun or pronoun, change one sentence into an appositive.
Which sentence could be turned into an appositive phrase and added to the other sentence?
The mayor met with Frank Battaglia. Battaglia is the grand
marshal of the parade.
Use an Appositive Phrase
Wordiness
MENU EXIT
Sentence Combining
PREVIOUS
When two sentences include information about the same noun or pronoun, change one sentence into an appositive.
The mayor met with Frank Battaglia. Battaglia is the grand
marshal of the parade.
. Battaglia is
Use an Appositive Phrase
Wordiness
MENU EXIT
Sentence Combining
PREVIOUS
When two sentences include information about the same noun or pronoun, change one sentence into an appositive.
The mayor met with Frank Battaglia. Battaglia is the grand
marshal of the parade.
Use an Appositive Phrase
Wordiness
MENU EXIT
Sentence Combining
PREVIOUS
When two sentences include information about the same noun or pronoun, change one sentence into an appositive.
The mayor met with Frank Battaglia. Battagli the grand
marshal of the parade.
Use an Appositive Phrase
Wordiness
MENU EXIT
Sentence Combining
PREVIOUS
When two sentences include information about the same noun or pronoun, change one sentence into an appositive.
The mayor met with Frank Battaglia. Battthe grand
marshal of the parade.
Use an Appositive Phrase
Wordiness
MENU EXIT
Sentence Combining
PREVIOUS
When two sentences include information about the same noun or pronoun, change one sentence into an appositive.
The mayor met with Frank Battaglia the grand marshal
of the parade.
Use an Appositive Phrase
Wordiness
MENU EXIT
Sentence Combining
PREVIOUS
When two sentences include information about the same noun or pronoun, change one sentence into an appositive.
The mayor met with Frank Battaglia, the grand marshal of
the parade.
Menu
Use an Appositive Phrase
Wordiness
MENU EXIT
Combine with Who, Which and That
Sentence Combining
A person, place, or thing may be discussed in one sentence with details about it provided in another sentence. Combine the sentences by turning one sentence into a clause beginning with who, which, or that.
Continue…
Wordiness
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Combine with Who, Which and That
Sentence Combining
PREVIOUS
Which sentence could be turned into a clause?
Marie Curie won the Nobel Prize for chemistry. She founded
the Radium Institute.
A person, place, or thing may be discussed in one sentence with details about it provided in another sentence. Combine the sentences by turning one sentence into a clause beginning with who, which, or that.
Click to see the answer
Wordiness
MENU EXIT
Combine with Who, Which and That
Sentence Combining
PREVIOUS
Which sentence could be turned into a clause?
Marie Curie won the Nobel Prize for chemistry. She founded
the Radium Institute.
A person, place, or thing may be discussed in one sentence with details about it provided in another sentence. Combine the sentences by turning one sentence into a clause beginning with who, which, or that.
Click to see a revision
Wordiness
MENU EXIT
Combine with Who, Which and That
Sentence Combining
PREVIOUS
A person, place, or thing may be discussed in one sentence with details about it provided in another sentence. Combine the sentences by turning one sentence into a clause beginning with who, which, or that.
Marie Curie won the Nobel Prize for chemistry. She founded
the Radium Institute.
ORIGINAL
REVISED
Marie Curie, who founded the Radium Institute, won a
Nobel Prize for chemistry.
Next
Wordiness
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Combine with Who, Which and That
Sentence Combining
PREVIOUS
Which sentences could be combined by using who, which, and that?
Their oldest son Carlos was an outstanding athlete. He
became a champion swimmer. He competed in the Pan
Asian Games. These games were held in Manila. He won
the Silver Cup. It sits on their fireplace mantel.
Click to see a revision
Wordiness
MENU EXIT
Combine with Who, Which and That
Sentence Combining
PREVIOUS
Which sentences could be combined by using who, which, and that?
Their oldest son Carlos was an outstanding athlete. He
became a champion swimmer. He competed in the Pan
Asian Games. These games were held in Manila. He won
the Silver Cup. It sits on their fireplace mantel.
Click to see a revision
Wordiness
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Combine with Who, Which and That
Sentence Combining
PREVIOUS
Turning these phrases into clauses makes this paragraph less repetitive and more concise.
Their oldest son Carlos was an outstanding athlete who
became a champion swimmer. He competed in the Pan
Asian Games, which were held in Manila. He won the
Silver cup that sits on their mantel.
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