wordiness part 1 nec facet center. what is wordiness? writers should use only those words needed to...
TRANSCRIPT
![Page 1: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/1.jpg)
WordinessPart 1
NEC FACET Center
![Page 2: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/2.jpg)
What is Wordiness?
• Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose.
• Extra words create a wordy style.
![Page 3: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/3.jpg)
Unnecessary words turn a paper into a thicket and make readers tired from struggling to make their way from one point to the next.
![Page 4: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/4.jpg)
Advice on Wordiness
• Ernest Hemingway once advised, “Cross out every other word.”
• While an exaggeration, this advice makes a valid point about wasted words.
![Page 5: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/5.jpg)
Effects of Wordiness
• Wordy writing not only confuses readers but also bores them.
• Writers seem to focus more on trying to impress readers with their intelligence than on conveying a clear idea or feeling.
![Page 6: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/6.jpg)
• Do not confuse conciseness and brevity.
• A short piece of writing can be wordy.
• A lengthy piece of writing can be concise.
![Page 7: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/7.jpg)
• Conciseness doesn’t refer to length.• It refers to covering your subject
fully in the fewest possible words.• Omit unnecessary words; don’t omit
important facts and details.
![Page 8: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/8.jpg)
Types of Wordiness
Circumlocutions
“It is” Constructions
Weakening IntensifiersVague Expressions
Redundancy
![Page 9: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/9.jpg)
Circumlocutions
Circumlocutions are a round about way of saying something--a way adding nothing to the sense and “clouding up what clarity there is,” as Aristotle said.
![Page 10: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/10.jpg)
Example of Circumlocution
In order to
Which word could replace “in order to”?
• because• since• if• to• I think• about• perhaps• thento
![Page 11: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/11.jpg)
Exercise
The day after today
Which word could replace “the day after today”?
• since• because• then• about• yesterday• tomorrow• today• if
tomorrow
![Page 12: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/12.jpg)
Exercise
Identify the circumlocution in the following sentence.
• Concerning the matter of civil rights, the aging Sojourner Truth asserted, I have been forty years a slave and forty years free, and would be here forty years more to have equal rights for all.”
![Page 13: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/13.jpg)
Exercise
Identify the circumlocution in the following sentence.
• Life “is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury; signifying nothing,” said the character Macbeth
during the course of Shakespeare’s famous play.
![Page 14: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/14.jpg)
Exercise
Identify the circumlocution in the following sentence.
• Adolf Hitler was of the opinion that “The great mass of people . . . will more easily fall victim to a big lie than to a small one.”
believed
![Page 15: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/15.jpg)
Redundancy
• Redundancy, a second common form of wordiness, consists of unnecessary repetition.
Example: The big, huge, large, gigantic elephant
big
large
huge gigantic
![Page 16: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/16.jpg)
Caution
• DON’T classify all repetition as redundancy.
• Repetition sometimes emphasizes a point and results in strong, memorable wording.
![Page 17: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/17.jpg)
Example of Strong Repetition
During World War II, British Prime Minister Sir Winston Churchill spoke the following stirring words to the House of Commons, encouraging his country’s citizens to resist Nazi attacks.
![Page 18: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/18.jpg)
Churchill’s Comments
We shall fight in France, we shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds. We shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender.
![Page 19: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/19.jpg)
Example of Redundancy
• Attitude of despair, attitude of confusion, feeling of happiness.
• Drop “attitude” or “feeling.” Despair, hope, happiness are always attitudes or feelings.
![Page 20: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/20.jpg)
Example of Redundancy
• green in color, round in shape, smooth in texture, ten pounds in weight.
• Drop “in color,” “in shape,” and “in texture,” “in weight” as these ideas are already obvious.
![Page 21: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/21.jpg)
More Examples
• biography of her life• autobiography of his life• Omit “of his life” and “of her life” as
biographies and autobiographies always tell someone’s life story.
![Page 22: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/22.jpg)
More Examples
• must necessarily• final outcome• true facts• Omit “necessarily,” “final,” and “true”• “Must,” by itself, shows the necessity.• Outcomes are all final.• Facts are all true.
![Page 23: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/23.jpg)
Some Final Examples
• qualified expert• inexperienced novice• new innovation• Omit “qualified,” “inexperienced,” and
“new,” for by definition, all experts, novices, and innovations possess those characteristics.
![Page 24: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/24.jpg)
Identify the redundancy
Jim Giles is an experienced veteran meteorologist.
![Page 25: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/25.jpg)
Identify the redundancy
From ancient Greek mythology came the old idea that the sun was the golden chariot of Apollo crossing the sky each day.
![Page 26: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/26.jpg)
Weakening Intensifiers
The useless weakening intensifier creates a third type of wordiness.
![Page 27: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/27.jpg)
Writer and philosopher Henry David Thoreau once admitted “using many words for the sake of emphasis which add nothing to the force of the sentences,” and he added that sentences “look relieved the moment I have cancelled the words.”
![Page 28: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/28.jpg)
Examples of Weakening Intensifiers
Like Thoreau, many of us use words such as the following to make our meaning stronger:
verysoratherquite
![Page 29: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/29.jpg)
Example of Weakening Intensifier
I am truly trying to overcome my dislike of Shakespeare.
Truly reduces the force of trying and may make the reader wonder, “Who is he trying to convince: me or himself?”
![Page 30: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/30.jpg)
Think before adding intensifiers to your writing. They are generally unnecessary and frequently detrimental.
![Page 31: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/31.jpg)
Learning to Make Your Writing More Concise
Part 2
![Page 32: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/32.jpg)
“It Is” Constructions
Another form of wordiness occurs when writers use “it is,” this is,” “there is,” and “there are” at the beginning of sentences and clauses.
![Page 33: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/33.jpg)
Example
This is a quotation from Poor Richard’s Almanac that suggests Benjamin Franklin’s style: “Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half-shut afterwards.”
![Page 34: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/34.jpg)
How would you revise?
There are some anthropologists who believe the human race is not instinctively aggressive but instinctively cooperative.
![Page 35: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/35.jpg)
How would you revise?
This is a quotation from Mark Twain that discloses his disillusionment with humankind: “Man is the only animal that blushes, or needs to.”
![Page 36: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/36.jpg)
How would you revise?
This is a painting which shows that nineteenth-century landscape painters revered nature.
![Page 37: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/37.jpg)
Unnecessary “To Be” Forms
Along with revising unnecessary “there is,” “there are,” “it is” type constructions, writers can also reduce wordiness by reducing the overall number of “to be” verbs.
![Page 38: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/38.jpg)
What are “To Be” Verbs?
• “To be” verbs include words such as the following:– am, is, are– was, were– will be, would be, could be, should be– has been, have been, had been– would have been, could have been,
should have been
![Page 39: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/39.jpg)
Identify the wordy “to be” construction.
The portrait is a distortion of Franklin Delano Roosevelt’s features.
distorts
![Page 40: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/40.jpg)
Identify the wordy “to be” construction.
Nathaniel Hawthorne’s shock at undraped Roman statuary
is a manifestation of his prudery.manifests
![Page 41: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/41.jpg)
Vague Expressions
Unnecessary words and phrases and vague, general words and phrases create a sixth form of wordiness.
![Page 42: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/42.jpg)
Unnecessary Words & Phrases
• Writers would do best to dispose of the words and phrases on the next screen.
• They are waste words, which add nothing but clutter to the sentences.
![Page 43: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/43.jpg)
Examples of Waste Words
• virtually• basically• significantly• fundamentall
y• truly• in actuality
• nature of• manner• indeed• rather• factor• aspect of
![Page 44: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/44.jpg)
Identify the Waste Words.
• I have virtually no free time to go to a movie today.
• The sky is rather cloudy today.• Betty does not understand the nature
of men.• In actuality, you’ll find the job easy if
you follow three simple steps.
![Page 45: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/45.jpg)
Vague Words
In addition to eliminating unnecessary words, writers should always do their best to replace vague words with specific words.
![Page 46: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/46.jpg)
Exercise
paper bill
money
medium of exchange
dollar
Mentally arrange the above words in order from most general to most specific.
![Page 47: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/47.jpg)
Answer
medium of exchange (most general)
money
paper bill
dollar (most specific)
![Page 48: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/48.jpg)
Exercise
red
color
primary color
garnet
Mentally arrange the above words in order from most general to most specific.
![Page 49: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/49.jpg)
Answer
color (most general)
primary color
red
garnet (most specific)
![Page 50: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/50.jpg)
Exercise
philosopher
Jean Paul Sartre
existentialist
thinker
• Mentally arrange the above words in order from most general to most specific.
![Page 51: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/51.jpg)
Answer
thinker
philosopher
existentialist
Jean Paul Sartre
![Page 52: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/52.jpg)
Identify the saying that has been rewritten in these vague terms.
• Winged creatures of similar species have a proclivity for group interaction.
• Answer: Birds of a feather flock together
![Page 53: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/53.jpg)
Identify the saying that has been rewritten in these vague terms.
• Congenial persons make a termination hindmost.
• Answer: Nice guys finish last.
![Page 54: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/54.jpg)
Learning to Make Your Writing More Concise
Part 3
![Page 55: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/55.jpg)
Pretentious Diction
• The 7th common form of wordiness involves pretentious, puffed-up diction.
• Writers sometimes use multi-syllable words, not because of their meaning, but because of their impressive sound.
![Page 56: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/56.jpg)
Warning
• Bloated words, however, have, as Henry David Thoreau said, “a paralysis in their tails.”
• They often slow and confuse the reader.
![Page 57: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/57.jpg)
Example
• The pugilist nonpareil, Leon Spinks, was the ultimate realization of the athletic phenomenon.
• Notice that the sentence contains several possible unfamiliar or abstract words that may cause difficulty.
![Page 58: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/58.jpg)
For instance, not everyone knows that a pugilist is a boxer or that the French word nonpareil means “unequaled” or “unrivaled.”
![Page 59: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/59.jpg)
The Cure
• To treat pretentious diction, you should first scrap the difficult or abstract words.
• Then you should state the idea simply and clearly.
![Page 60: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/60.jpg)
Another Example
The image was revelatory of the author’s thematic intentions.
Revised: The image revealed the theme.
![Page 61: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/61.jpg)
Caution
You needn’t always use common, short words.
Instead, you should express your ideas in words appropriate for your intended readers.
![Page 62: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/62.jpg)
Exercise
Revise the following sentence to eliminate the pretentious diction.
Terminate the illumination.
Turn off the light.
![Page 63: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/63.jpg)
Exercise
Revise the following sentence to eliminate the pretentious diction.
In the winter, I assume protective neckwear.
In the winter, I wear a scarf.
![Page 64: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/64.jpg)
Elaborate Constructions
The final common form of wordiness involves unnecessarily elaborate sentence structures.
Writers sometimes use wordy prepositional phrases and dependent clauses containing ideas the writers would do better to insert in a more concise manner.
![Page 65: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/65.jpg)
The Unnecessary Prepositional Phrase
Example: the draft of 1776
Revision: the 1776 draft
![Page 66: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/66.jpg)
Unnecessary Prepositional Phrases
Example: Oliver Twist, a novel by Charles Dickens
Revision: Oliver Twist, Charles Dicken’s novel
![Page 67: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/67.jpg)
Dependent Clauses
Like prepositional phrases, many dependent clauses (especially those beginning with who, which, and that) can be condensed into fewer words.
![Page 68: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/68.jpg)
Example of Unnecessary Dependent Clause
Aldo Leopold, who was the father of the modern conservation movement, argued that ethical behavior toward the natural world began with a sense of relatedness.
![Page 69: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/69.jpg)
Example of Unnecessary Dependent Clause
• Aldo Leopold, who was the father of the modern conservation movement, argued that ethical behavior toward the natural world began with a sense of relatedness.
![Page 70: Wordiness Part 1 NEC FACET Center. What is Wordiness? Writers should use only those words needed to fulfill their purpose. Extra words create a wordy](https://reader038.vdocuments.us/reader038/viewer/2022102805/55164bf15503469d698b497f/html5/thumbnails/70.jpg)
Begin using these tips to reduce wordiness, and your writing will flourish.