twas the fire drill before christmas

Christmas

A Holiday Storybook for Marketers from

'Twas the night before campaign launch, when all through the staff We all were on call or on time-and-a-half; The emails and blog posts were scheduled with care In high hopes that BuzzFeed would send readers there.

The sales reps were nestled all snug in their beds While visions of juicy leads danced in their heads. I slipped on my snuggie and poured a night cap, Because I was ready to call it a wrap.

When “BZZT!” buzzed my phone and made such a clatter,

I sprang from my seat to see what was the matter.

Away to the laptop I flew like a flash,

Booted up the OS and cleared out my cache.

My inbox was flooded. So what do you think? I took a deep breath and I followed the link. When what to my wondering eyes came around, But a 404 error reading “ASSET NOT FOUND.”

I got the same message, though I frantically clicked Optimistically hoping it was all a dumb trick. More rapid than eagles the IMs they came, And I swore and I shouted, and called them by name:

"Now, Davis! Now, Diaz! Now Parker and Willis! Then Carrey and Cooper and Fischer and Phyllis! I’m not a magician or marketing elf! If you think it’s so easy, then do it yourself!"

And then, in a twinkling, I heard down the hall A tell-tale jingling and chuckling drawl. As I perked up my ears, and was turning around, To my keyboard St. Nicholas came with a bound!

He was dressed all in red, from his head to his foot, And he carried a sack stuffed with all kinds of loot. No bundle of toys he had flung on his back— But whiskey and bourbon and organic snacks.

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread; His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow, as he fixed all my spreadsheets — row after row.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

And filled out the req forms, then turned with a jerk,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

And giving a nod, from my workspace he rose;

He sprang to the curb, to his team gave a whistle, And took off in an Uber Black, sleek as a missile. But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight— “Though tech may be glitchy and budgets are tight, Happy campaigns to all, and to all a good night!”

!

Credits

Mary Christmas . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Haleigh Clark Santa . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Adam Casey Sleeping sales rep . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Shanna Cook

Concept . . . . . Haleigh Clark, Shanna Cook, Carole Snitzer Direction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Shanna Cook Copy and cinematography . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Carole Snitzer

Special thanks to Kevin Miller’s messenger bag.