marriage tune-up welcome and thanks for caring about your marriage

Languages of ApologyLanguages of Apology1. Regret

2. Accept Responsibility3. Restitution (what do I need to do?)

4. Repentance (desire not to do it again and ask “help me change”)5. Request forgiveness

MARRIAGE TUNE-UP

Dr John Gottman, Phd. Dr John Gottman, Phd. 30 years – Love Lab studying Married 30 years – Love Lab studying Married

Male/Female CouplesMale/Female CouplesSeattle, WASeattle, WA

Love and Respect – Key to SuccessLove and Respect – Key to Success

““5 Magic Hours”5 Magic Hours”

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The Magic 5 HoursThe Magic 5 HoursThe Magic Five Hours (from the Gottman Institute)

Partings 2 min. x 5=10 min.Reunions 20 min. x 5=1hr. 40min.Admiration/Appreciation 5 min. x 7=35 min.Affection 5 min. x 7=35 min.Weekly Date 2 hrs. x 1= 2 hrs.

GRAND TOTAL = 5 HOURS

MARRIAGE TUNE-UP

Dr Gary Chapman’s KeysDr Gary Chapman’s Keys•Respect and Love one anotherRespect and Love one another

•Successfully deal with your failuresSuccessfully deal with your failures

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ForgivenessForgivenessWhat is forgiveness?What is forgiveness?

How do you know you have forgiven someone?How do you know you have forgiven someone?

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I, (your name) take you, (spouse name)I, (your name) take you, (spouse name)to be my wife/husband.to be my wife/husband.

To have and to hold To have and to hold For better, for worseFor better, for worseFor richer, for poorerFor richer, for poorer

in sickness and in healthin sickness and in healthto love and to cherishto love and to cherishfrom this day forwardfrom this day forward

MARRIAGE TUNE-UP