managing difficult conversations final
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8/9/2019 Managing Difficult Conversations Final
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Managing Difficult Conversations
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Ladder of Influence
Follows the concept of Boundedrationality
Select Data Interpret Data
Draw Conclusion
Mental Models strongly affect ourladder of influence.
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Be In Control Mental Model
Use- conversation takes anunproductive or unexpected turn.
Aim- to win, not lose - desire to assert
our views Accomplish Aim VALUE of being
Rational Assumption our point is sensible,
obvious Avoid conflict- by suppressing
feelings
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Unproductive Thinking Habits
Assume we are right
Based on Intuitive decision making orOverconfidence Bias
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Unproductive Thinking Habits
Assign negative attributes andmotives
Similar to the false attribution errorstated in the Attribution Theory
Suspect a hidden agenda in othersdisagreement.
Seem factual and obvious to us
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Unproductive Thinking Habits
See ourselves as more reasonable
Expect others to see as well agreewith our view.
Try to reassert our perspective
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Unproductive Thinking Habits
Avoid upsetting situations
Assume that others are too fragile tohandle criticism.
Prevents from rectifying the mistake
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Our thinking influences our actions
Attribution theory suggests weinterpret others behavior and actaccordingly
We generally dont share ournegative attributions
But our behavior confirms to ourperception.
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TheLeft hand Column
Reflecting on our private thinkingisnt easy
Gap exists between our perceptionand our actions
Left hand column case study helpsus identify the activation point of
be in control theory.
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Mutual learning
A new mental model leads toproductive conversations
Identifying the point of break downof a conversation
Stopping and reflecting
This pushes the dialogue to a placeof greater openness
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Productive Thinking Habits
Assume we have partial knowledge Selected data accumulation pertaining to
ones area of interest
Decision based on understanding of all thefunctions of a business
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Productive Thinking Habits
Grant legitimacy to other perspectives
Recognizing the rationale behind othersconclusions
Existence of probability ofmisunderstanding others view point
We may be unreasonable
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Productive Thinking Habits
Assume positive intentions
Most people want to do good
Disagreement need not be disrespectfulness
Others decisions are not meant to createproblems
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Productive Thinking Habits
Acknowledge our role
My actions might have unintendedconsequences
Analyze how we contribute tocommunication problems
Revise and realign actions with
intentions.
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Productive Thinking Habits
Embrace learning
Learn from mistakes
Dont assume others to be averse tocriticism
Establish mutual learning andunderstanding
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Shift to MutualLearning
Stop and think during conversations
Sharpen your advocacy and inquiry
skills State your viewpoint with
reasoning
Ask about others line of reasoning Invite others to challenge your
views
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Conclusion
Mutual learning makes difficultconversations immenselyproductive
Change the way you think andyoull change the way you converse
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Thank You
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