keys to effective person-to-person communications

The keys to

effective

person-to-person

communications

Person-to-person

communication is supposed

to be a dialog,

an exchange of

information,

ideas,

perspectives,

and stuff like that

Uh-huh…

But, in the real world, for

all sorts of reasons, it‟s

not always easy…

and it‟s not always

the other person

who makes

communication

difficult

Especially if each person in a

conversation believes “I‟m the

only one trying to communicate.”

Often in communication

situations, one person has do the

all the communicating

I help people communicate

(no, I am not a therapist)

Mike Harkins, creative guy and

media consultant

The Way to Communicate comes

out later this year – it‟s a

philosophical and practical method

for communicating effectively

I help people communicate

I help people communicate

I help people communicate

www.communicator.pro

www.writesite.com

I help people communicate

Lou Naidorf, AIA Fellow

What are the keys to

effective communication?

What are the keys to

better communication?

Perception

Expectation

Recognition

Pro-action

and

Respect

Perceptions too often override reality

We can‟t always know what someone‟s

reality is at any given time

A possible perception of

how you feel

A possible perception of

how you see them

A possible perception of

how they see you

Perceptions too often override reality

We can‟t always know what someone‟s

reality is at any given time

Someone‟s reaction to what we do or

say may seem waaaaayyy over the top

But before you assume they‟re just a jerk…

Before you decide how you‟re going to

respond…

Take a moment to consider that…

They might be dealing with something that‟s

making them, well, cranky.

Expectations

Yours and theirs

It‟s a thin line that separates

expectations and assumptions

Expectations are only realized when

expectations are defined

Expectations are only realized when

expectations are defined…

and, even then…

Manage your expectations and you can

manage theirs

Greet, meet, and review (how else

will they know what you do?)

Manage your expectations and you can

manage theirs

Hey, wait a

minute – do you

know what you

do?

Manage your expectations and you can

manage theirs

Never leave a „variable‟ on your / their

expectation list.

Recognition

Yours and theirs

Recognition means your

acceptance of…

Knowing who you work for

Knowing that you occasionally

have to do things you‟d rather not

You will not always be perceived

nor rewarded for having saved

the day when, indeed, you did.

And it should mean their

acceptance of…

Knowing what you do

Knowing that you occasionally

have to do things you‟d rather not

Knowing that you most certainly

have too much to do

Forgetting all of the above

Pro-action

(actually, it‟s about being proactive – I

called it pro-action so it would fit neatly

with the words that preceded it)

Yours!

Be proactive

You believe you know, better than

anyone else, how it all works

Be proactive

You believe you know, better than

anyone else, how it all works

Prove it

Be proactive

You believe you know, better than

anyone else, how it all works

Prove it

But don‟t make a big deal about it

…yet

Be above reproach

“Try, won‟t, can‟t, or couldn‟t,” even if

they‟re true, won‟t matter

“Try, won‟t, can‟t, or couldn‟t,” even if

they‟re true, won‟t matter

So don‟t allow yourself to be distracted,

ambushed, or „wrong‟

LEAD!

(but do it as if you weren‟t)

Conduct the orchestra

You have the advantage:

You know many of „them‟,

You know how they act and react,

and

You know the „future‟

Gain and maintain the advantage

It‟s not as much about

your plan as it is the

action

Gain and maintain the advantage

Make your enemy your friend

Never hide, and always have an answer

Give them what they want before they

want it

Gain and maintain the advantage

Find what works for you to stay ahead

1

NOW, no

matter

what!

2

Deadline,

no matter

what!

3

Eventually,

but gotta

get it done

4

someday…

Gain and maintain the advantage

Offensive defense:

How to be responsive (makes them happy)

and still protect yourself…and your

time…and your space…

Gain and maintain the advantage

Offensive defense:

Them: “Got a minute?” and other variations

You: “For you, I‟ve got two minutes.”

Plan for three to four, and then, “I‟m going to

work on this, find an answer, and, is it all

right if I email you?”

Gain and maintain the advantage

Offensive defense:

Them: “Got a minute?” and other variations

If you truly don‟t have a minute, give them

something solid to hold on to:

“I have to/I‟m in a (whatever it is), and I‟ll call

you back at (a time you know will work).”

Gain and maintain the advantage

Most will accept that something may be late, a

deadline has to be extended, etc, you just have to

make sure they know.

Most will accept that you have a life, but you may

have to remind them every now and then (using a

different phrase than “I have a life, you know.”)

Respect

Yours and theirs

Respect

Yours and theirs

If you feel abused, it needs to be

assessed and addressed.

If someone thinks you‟re abusive,

ditto.

Just because we have to earn

respect, doesn‟t mean we should

be dis-respected in the meantime.

Respect

Yours and theirs

When the reaction is out of proportion, it‟s not

about you…

unless everyone has that same reaction.

Do what wasn‟t

expected

Personal congratulations and

attaboys for members

Answers or information before it

was expected

Don‟t forget to show

yourself some respect

Keep track of your successes

Your success IS the organization‟s success

Learn from yourself and your successes

Celebrate yourself

What are the keys to

effective communication?

Perception

Expectation

Recognition

Pro-action

and

Respect

The keys to

effective communications

Thank you so much.

Hope I‟ve helped you find

The Way to

Communicate