how to deal with difficult people webinar presentation

Dr Tina - Executive Leadership Coach

MCG Consulting Group (www.MCGConsultingGroup.com) 2

I work with leaders, influencers, and high potentials

across the Engineering and IT community,

• To bridge the gap between technical expertise and

leadership competence,

• To help improve leadership skills, change focus to

big-picture issues and drive superior business

outcomes.

Welcome To Dr Tina’s Free Executive Leadership Webinar Series…..

• You Choose future Webinar Topics from my website….

• Check Out the list at www.MCGConsultingGroup.com/training

Over 150 topics offered…

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Webinar Goal

When you purposely and mindfully try to see the world from another

perspective, there is a far greater chance that you will influence the

situation to your advantage.

Mindful leadership involves seeking a deeper understanding or others.

Mindful leadership ensures greater engagement when you achieve a

deeper understanding of others needs

• you then can tailor your leadership style to meet that need.

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What Will You Learn?

You will learn about difficult people…

#1. Who are they?

· Explore insights to difficult people…

#2. What makes difficult people act this way?

· Explore what’s going on behind these behaviors…

#3. What you can do about it...

· Identify specific strategies for dealing with difficult people...MCG Consulting Group (www.MCGConsultingGroup.com) 5

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Being Mindful, Not Mind Full…

Right now I want you to

• Suspend your judgment about what you hear…

• Be in the moment during this presentation…

• Be purposeful in your listening…MCG Consulting Group (www.MCGConsultingGroup.com) 6

…never wrestle with a pig…

…No Pig Wrestling In The Office…

• Seriously - I had a great boss and mentor (or tormentor) in my early career who use to admonish us for poor workplace behavior,

• especially when we would engage in spats and arguments with our colleagues.

• He would state firmly and unequivocally that was to be "no pig wrestling in the office".

The Story …

• The story behind that admonishment was well known to us all –

• for it was told and retold at many functions and gatherings,

• and served as a reminder of expected workplace behavior,

• and as a reinforcement of a positive cultural norm.

The Pig Story

•So apparently there are THREE good reasons why we should never wrestle with a pig…

#1. The Pig Likes It.....

#2. You Get Dirty....

#3. After A While …

… … the people on the outside looking in won’t know who is who!

Difficult People - Who They Are…

Everybody is Somebody’s Difficult Person

Brinkman And Kirschner Identify 10 Difficult Behaviors That Represent Normal People At Their

Worst:1. Tank

2. Sniper

3. Know-It-All

4. Think-They-Know-It-All

5. Grenade Person

6. Yes Person

7. Maybe Person

8. Nothing Person

9. No Person

10. Whiners

# 1 Tank

The Tank Person is confrontational, pointed and angry, the ultimate in pushy and aggressive behavior.

# 2 Sniper

Snipers take shots at you to make you look bad or to try to undermine you.

# 3 Know-it-all

• Seldom in doubt, the Know-It-All person has a low tolerance for correction and contradiction.

# 4 Think-they-know-it-all

• They know how to learn just enough about a subject to sound like they know what they are talking about. They are addicted to exaggeration as an attention-getting technique.

• They might even suffer from the Dunning-Kruger effect (dumb people don’t know they’re dumb.)

# 5 Grenade Person

• After a brief period of calm, the Grenade person explodes into unfocused ranting and raving about things that have nothing to do with the present circumstances.

# 6 Yes Person

• They react to the latest demands on their time by forgetting prior commitments, and overcommit until they have no time for themselves.

# 7 Maybe Person

• In a moment of decision, the Maybe Person procrastinates in the hope that a better choice will present itself.

# 8 Nothing Person

• A Nothing Person doesn’t contribute to the conversation.

# 9 No Person

• A No Person kills momentum and creates friction for you.

# 10 Whiners

• Whiners feel helpless and overwhelmed by an unfair world.

Difficult People - What Makes Them Act That Way…

WHY????

# 1 Tank

• The Tank Person is an angry person who demands his/her own way …

# 2 Sniper

•The Sniper take shots at you to make you look bad or to try to undermine you…

# 4 Think-they-know-it-all

• The Think-They-Know-It-All just wants attention…• They might even suffer from the Dunning-Kruger effect (dumb

people don’t know they’re dumb.)

# 5 Grenade Person

•The Grenade Person cannot help themselves from pulling the pin…

# 6 Yes Person

•The Yes Person does not believe that it safe to be honest…

# 9 No Person

•The No Person fights a never ending battle for futility, hopeless ness, and despair…

# 10 Whiners

•The Whiner’s standard is perfection, and no one and nothing measures up to it…

Difficult People - What You Can Do About It...

No Pig Wrestling!!

• The old saying is “misery loves company.”

• The most important thing is to be aware of who the Debbie and David Downers are in your company and to make sure they don’t suck you into their world of negativity.

#1. Don’t Get Dragged Down

• KEEP YOUR COOL• Maintain your composure, the less

reactive you are, the more you can use your better judgment to handle the situation.

• DON’T AGREE• Appeasing just throws fuel on the

flames• CUT THEM OFF

• Politely shut them down.

#2. Pick Your Battles

• Not all difficult people require direct confrontation about their behavior. 1. If someone has temporary,

situational power over you. 2. Or has a useful/necessary skill

#3. Separate The Person From The Issue

• An effective communicator knows how to separate the person from the issue, and be soft on the person and firm on the issue.

• “I want to talk about what’s on your mind, but i can’t do it when you’re yelling”

#4. Switch Extremes Into Facts

• Difficult people often speak in extreme terms that match their worldviews.

• Difficult people say ”Jim is such a slacker! he’s never on time for our morning meetings.

• You: You’re clearly frustrated. I seem to remember that Jim was on time at our meetings on 3 days last week. he was late on Thursday and Friday so you mean he’s late frequently, not always; right?

#5. Put The Spotlight On Them

• A common pattern with difficult people is that they like to place attention on you to make you feel uncomfortable or inadequate.

• Equalize power in communication. Turn the spotlight on them.

#6. Shift From Being Reactive To Proactive

• When you feel offended by someone’s words or deeds, reduce personalization and try to put yourself in the difficult individual’s shoes, even for just a moment.

• the point is to remind yourself that people do what they do because of their own issues.

#7. Set Consequence

• The ability to identify and assert consequence(s) is one of the most important skills we can use to "stand down" a difficult person.

• Effectively articulated, consequence gives pause to the challenging individual, and compels her or him to shift from obstruction to cooperation.

#8. Move To Problem Solving

• Difficult people – especially those who whine a lot often feel powerless and believe that the situation is hopeless.

• your only chance of ending their negativity is to help them to move into a problem solving mode. this doesn’t always work, but it’s the only antidote known.

What Did You Learn?

You learnt about difficult people…

#1. Who they are… 10 types…

#2. What makes difficult people act that way… 10

reasons…

#3. What you can do about it... 8 actions…

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Questions

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Thankyou And I Hope That You Enjoyed Another

Free Executive Leadership Webinar …..

• Choose future FREE Webinar Topics from among the 100+ training/group coaching and topics

• http//www.MCGConsultingGroup.com/training

• I work with leaders, influencers, and high potentials across the Engineering and IT

community, To bridge the gap between technical expertise and leadership competence,

• Contact Me at DrTina@MCGConsultingGroup.com

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