getting real without getting fired

Getting Real without Getting Fired SAYING THINGS IN A WAY PEOPLE CAN HEAR

Allison PollardAgile Coach

“My passion is helping people

discover their agile instincts and develop

their coaching abilities.”

Marcus KingArchitect, Technical Coach

“It is truly inspiring to watch a group

capable individuals become a coherent

technical team.”

Activity I• Look around• Introduce yourself quickly• State whether or not you trust that person• Laugh awkwardly

Activity I Review•Was anyone universally trusted or not trusted?

•How did you reach conclusions about others?

•How did this impact your ability to be trusted?

•Why do you think you are or are not being trusted?

•How did you try to communicate trust?

Putting a Box Around Trust“ TRUST IS THE HIGHEST FORM OF HUMAN MOTIVATION. IT BRINGS OUT THE VERY BEST IN PEOPLE .”

– STEPHEN R. COVEY

What is Trust?

Low Trust Experiences

“TRUST IS LIKE OXYGEN, YOU DON’T REALLY THINK ABOUT BREATHING, BUT ONCE YOU DON’T HAVE IT, YOU NOTICE IMMEDIATELY.”

– STEPHEN R. COVEY

Perceptions Reinforce Behavior

SHE DOESunchecked bad behaviors

I SEEunchecked bad behaviors

I DOunchecked bad behaviors

SHE SEESunchecked bad behaviors

Direct Communication Is Key“ THE SINGLE BIGGEST PROBLEM IN COMMUNICATION IS THE ILLUSION THAT IT HAS TAKEN PLACE .” – GEORGE BERNARD SHAW

Rebuilding Trust

Radical Candor

RUINOUSEMPATHY

MANIPULATIVEINSINCERITY

RADICALCANDOR

OBNOXIOUSAGGRESSION

CARE PERSONALLY

CH

ALLEN

GE

DIR

ECTLY

Activity II• Form small groups of 4 – 5• 1 – 2 Observer• 1 Giver• 1 – 2 Receiver• Giver and Receiver(s) role play uncomfortable situations• Observer(s) provide feedback

Situation I• Chicken

TEAM(S) DEATH MARCH TOWARDS A 6 MONTH DEADLINE THAT EVERYONE KNOWS WILL BE MISSED IS FINALLY BUBBLED UP TO AN EXECUTIVE LEADER THE WEEK BEFORE THE DEADLINE

TWIST: LEADER IS NOT HAPPY AND RIGHTFULLY WANTS TO KNOW WHY IT IS BEING BUBBLED UP AT THE LAST MINUTE

RUINOUSEMPATHY

MANIPULATIVE

INSINCERITY

RADICALCANDOR

OBNOXIOUSAGGRESSION

CARE PERSONALLY

CH

ALLEN

GE

DIR

ECTLY

Situation II• The Cake is a Lie

LEADERSHIP LETS GO A TEAM LEADER TO IMPROVE TEAM DYNAMICS AND MUST TELL THE TEAM AS PROJECT DEADLINE LOOMS.

TWIST: A TEAM MEMBER GETS UPSET ABOUT THE LEAD BEING LET GO

RUINOUSEMPATHY

MANIPULATIVE

INSINCERITY

RADICALCANDOR

OBNOXIOUSAGGRESSION

CARE PERSONALLY

CH

ALLEN

GE

DIR

ECTLY

Situation III• Trolls

INTERRUPTING A HEATED DEBATE BETWEEN TEAM MEMBERS TO TRY TO TURN THE HEAT DOWN BEFORE IT GETS OUT OF HAND

TWIST: THE TEAM MEMBERS BEGIN TO TURN ON YOU AS YOU TRY TO RATCHET DOWN THE ARGUMENT

RUINOUSEMPATHY

MANIPULATIVE

INSINCERITY

RADICALCANDOR

OBNOXIOUSAGGRESSION

CARE PERSONALLY

CH

ALLEN

GE

DIR

ECTLY

ConclusionSHE DOES

Respectful challenge

I SEECaring personally

I DORespectful challenge

SHE SEESCaring personally

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