conversations skills

CONVERSATION

MUTUAL EXCHANGE OF

IDEAS AND THOUGHTS

CONVERSATION SKILLS• MAGIC KEY TO PERSONAL AND

SOCIAL POPULARITY• BUSINESS MEETINGS PAY OFF• EXPRESS YOUR POTENTIAL• KNOW A SENSE OF PERSONAL

HAPPINESS• DEVELOP NEW FRIENDSHIPS• STRENGTHEN OLD ONES

BEING A GOOD LISTENER WILL MAKE YOU A

WINNER

INITIATE CONVERSATION

• ASK QUESTIONS

• MAKE A STATEMENT FOLLOWED BY A QUESTION ON:

the party, food,weather, current news, books, movies or pay a compliment

WITH ONE PERSON

Provide a topic that:• Appeals to his interest

• Leads to discussing his hobby

• Gets him talking about his job

• Pays a compliment to him

IN A GROUP:

SPARK A DISCUSSION ON A SUBJECT THAT INTERESTS MANY PRESENT :

• a hobby/ interest that the group has in common

• a spectator experience you’ve shares together

WATCH YOUR REACTIONS

• BE PLEASANT

• BE CHEERFUL

• BE SINCERE

CONVERSATION MEANS GIVE AND TAKE AND NOT SIMPLY ASKING

QUESTIONS

RID YOURSELF OF INHIBITION/ SHYNESS

• THINK OBJECTIVELY ABOUT THE PROBLEM, NOT SUBJECTIVELY ABOUT YOURSELF

• PUT THE NEEDS OF OTHERS FIRST

COMMUNICATE CLEARLY

• ENGAGE MIND BEFORE STARTING TONGUE

•SIMPLICITY IMPROVES EFFECTIVENESS

•DON’T GET EMOTIONAL

•USE SPECIFIC AND NOT GENERAL WORDS

•AIM FOR A MORE ANIMATED COVERSATION

BUILD A RESERVOIR OF KNOWLEDGE AND

CULTIVATE INTERESTS

USE A GENERALIST AND SPECIALIST APPROACH

•READ BOOKS, PAPERS, MAGAZINES

•RECALL MOVIES, TV SHOWS

•KNOW YOUR ENVIRONMENT, GEOGRAPHICAL AREA

•KNOW YOUR JOB, YOUR COMPANY AND ITS PRODUCT/ SERVICE

DON’T•MONOPOLISE

•BE GARRULOUS

•BE INSULTING & ABUSIVE

•AIR DIFFERENCES

•TALK OF MUNDANE TOPICSCONTD

•TALK OF ILLNESS & MISFORTUNE

•GOSSIP

•INTERRUPT

•FINISH SENTENCES

•SNATCH STORY

DON’T

VOICE MODULATION

SPEECH BLEMISHES & HOW TO DETECT THEM

MIRROR• Are you using your hands too much?• Are you tense, aloof, stiff, talking without moving your

lips? Forcing your voice? Making faces while talking?

TAPE RECORDER• Helps you to hear exactly as you sound. You can detect

your defects and shortcomings. You can use it to review your ideas aloud, to edit, practice speech/presentations before interviews.

VIDEO RECORDER• This is a combination of mirror & tape recorder. Helps to

see as well as hear.

• NOSE TALKER• When you talk through your nose, you twang. Clasp your

nose between thumb and forefingers and say “ Mona sang seventeen songs & swooned” Your fingers pick up the vibration caused in your nose by “M”, “N” and “NG” The three legitimate sounds in our language.

• The voice finds its way through the nose if your mouth does not open enough when you talk.

• There should be at least half an inch gap between your teeth when you talk. Nasal speakers speak with their teeth close – worse are those who speak with their lips closed.

• For persuasive and impressive speech bring your resonance from your chest and not your nose.

• The clenched jaw speaker emanates tenseness & strain. Tightness in the voice creates the impression you are holding back.

Strident

• Do you talk that way even when you are not angry?

• Neck looks taut, veins and cords stand out like ropes. Muscles around the chin are tight to the eye and touch.

The Unfocussed Speaker

• Sounds weary & depressed.

• Lacks vitality, vigor, energy, enthusiasm & intensity.

Whisperer

• When you fail to project because of improper breath support.

• Whispering is for telling secrets. Whisper is a ghost of a sound from which tone and resonance are missing.

A Fader

• One whose voice comes and goes. Starts on a strong note but fades into silence.

Fog Horn

• Because of faulty breath support leading to strain. Unsupported voice is like climbing a hill in high gear. It moves slower , jerks and finally stalls altogether..

Lazy lips

• A person whose lips do not move enough. Fails to project, runs whole words together sometimes omitting whole syllables.

Colour Gray

• Average voice scales 12 to 20 notes. A professional singer or actor reaches 36.. A bad speaker hits 5 notes. This is the voice like a tap with a faulty washer – it goes drip drip drip – the kind of voice that puts people to sleep.

• No variety, no pitch, no colour. To check your voice for drabness read from a newspaper and check your speech for pitch and pacing.

Does your speedometer need adjusting

• Talking fast makes the audience breathless and talking slowly puts him to sleep!

• We should average between 120 to 160 wpm. We read faster than we talk. Rate should never be constant. Thought and emotion alter pacing. Pause for effect. Chance in tempo provides variety.

Speech tics

• “You knows”, “:That is”, “um” and “I believes” Also called padding. Unattractive and irritating.

• Don’t upstage with visual detractors .

Eye Clasp

• Like a handclasp – establishes link with human being Tells you audience reaction.

Improve your voice

• Proper breath support is the foundation of a good voice.

• The way you exhale is what counts.

• Project your voice, don’t shout.

• Don’t let your voice sound older than you are

• Make your lips lively, not lazy

• Be a low pitcher

• Be a smooth talker.