coming out in the techno era: implications for a sex-positive public health emily s. pingel, mph...
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Coming Out in the Techno Era: Implications for a sex-
positive public health
Emily S. Pingel, MPH
Project Director
Department of Health Behavior Health Education
University of Michigan School of Public Health
Background
• Changing cultural landscape
• Youth engaging in coming out processes at
even earlier ages Denizet-Lewis, B. (2009, September 23). Coming Out in Middle School. The New York
Times.
Background
•Identity formation and exploration in
adolescence/emerging adulthood
Arnett, J. (2000) Emerging Adulthood: A theory of development from the
late teens through the twenties. American Psychologist, 55(5), 469-480.
•Developmental trajectories of LGBT youth
Rotheram-Borus, M.J. & Langabeer, K. (2001). Lesbian, Gay and Bisexual Identities
and Youth: Psychological Perspectives. A. D’Augelli & C. Patterson, (Eds.). New York,
NY: Oxford University Press.
The Role of the Internet•Over 70 million Internet users per day in the
US.
•Broadened the discourse of sexuality
•Online interactions may result in ‘riskier’
encountersPequegnat W. et al. (2007). Conducting Internet-based HIV/STD Prevention Survey
Research: considerations in design and evaluation. AIDS and Behavior, 11(4), 505-
521.
•May additionally accrue benefits for the user
Research Questions•Initially interested in coming out narratives
•Discrete events vs. processes
•Examining processes through the lens of a
particular behavior
•Focus on initial online dating experiences
the intersection of identity formation/Internet
Research Questions
How has the internet shaped various
processes of identity formation among
YMSM?
•What are the reasons YMSM give for first using the
Internet to date?
•How do YMSM describe their first online dating
experiences?
•What feelings, if any, do they choose to voice in
recalling these initial experiences?
Methodology•Initial team coding
•Extracted portions of transcript referencing
“coming out” and initial online dating
experiences
•Recoded using open coding scheme
•Organized code structure by thematic
patterns
Descriptives
Age at First Use Years of Use
Mean 17.2 years old 4.9 years
Median17 years old 5 years
Range 12-22 years old <1-9 years
“Two Worlds”
It had come out that he was somebody very
uber Christian who couldn’t resolve sort of the
idea that he was gay with the rest of his life.…
and at that point, I was just about ready to
come out myself, and I wasn’t going to deal
with a sort of, a third hidden world. I was
dealing with my own at the time, and two
worlds was enough.
-Ryan, 23, white, HIV-, In a relationship
Coming Out
•Central vs. minimized
•Intersections with initiation of online dating?
•Distinct events
•Integral to the process
•Internet as a hindrance
From Looking….
•“A safe way to explore”
•Avoiding others’ expectations
•Anonymity
•Giving false information
Ethan, 24, white, HIV+, single
And I was really confused….when I lived in
Oregon, I had no friends whatsoever. So, I
spent a lot of time online. I started doing
some research. You know, I realized that
maybe I really was into guys. And, you know,
started to hang out in chat rooms.
….To Touching.•Online dating facilitated formative romantic and sexual
experiences
I know there was a point, and it definitely happened
gradually….I was moving from, “hey, I’m just kind of
dabbling in these sexual experiences” to “yeah, I am
seeking them out.” One is I’m testing the waters and
the other is I’m actually swimming.
Winston, 21, African American,
HIV-, single
Exploring sexual desire
•“articulating desire”
•“showcasing my body”
•“getting attention”
•niche sites
Ryan, 23, white, HIV-, in a
relationshipBut at 18, I had just moved to campus. I had started to
question my sexual urges. And I needed – it basically
created a safe way to explore that world without having
to expose myself. I had a single room with an internet
connection. And within a few well-placed Google
searches, I suddenly had access to other people that I
can chat with anonymously, and sort of articulate and
express ideas and desires that I would never be able to
do in a social setting.
Learning to Navigate
•Characterizing others
“creepy people” abound
Older men
“just for hookups”
“people lie”
Hard to find “decent, quality” people
•Testing Assertiveness
Ignoring advances
“caving in” and “getting used”
Giving Context
•Participants often painted a vivid picture of their life
experiences at the time they began going online to
date
•Transitions
•Family/peer/academic environment
•From “the usual teenage angst and woe” to
reparation therapy
Feelings about first online
experiences•Confusion
•Guilt/shame
•Terror at “in your face” sex
•Escape/Relief
•Excitement
•Increased confidence
•Acceptance/affirmation
Caleb, 22, White, HIV-, single
“So, the only thing I knew about, I guess, about being
—I don’t want to say about being gay, but the only
thing I knew was relationships. I didn’t know what
hookups were quite yet. Like, I didn’t know that
people just hooked up. I always thought that you
went on dates and you met people and you dated
people. So, I wasn’t aware of that. So I didn’t like
that people were just messaging me for sex. And, you
know, I was trying to have conversations with them
and they would ask me, you know, “how big are
you?”…”Do you want to come over?”…I was like “I
don’t even know you.”
John, 20, White/Hispanic, HIV-,
singleIt’s just like as far as, you know, my parents met
in person. Like most of my relatives who are
together met in person. And the idea of digitally
consummating something into a physical
relationship is a really, like, I guess, scary, like,
you know. Like taking the digital in this really
vast unknown. And then making something
that’s supposed to be really meaningful and
physical. Like, it’s scary.
Matthew, 22, White, HIV-, single
I lived in rural Montana, so it was really the only
way of actually finding other gay people that
lived around….It [the Internet} was really easy to
search. You could plug in, like, the search
criteria, and you could ocme up with four or five
gay boys your own age in, like, a 60 mile radius.
And that was very exciting because I didn’t feel
so alone.
Patterns of Use
•Not out or living in a non-accepting
environment Get online to find sexual partners
Often begins to foster self-acceptance
•Out
different expectations for potential online
experience
interested in friendships and romance
shocked by the highly sexualized environment
Benefits/Risks of Online Dating
Experiences Among YMSM•Participation as young people in the rituals of sex
and dating
•Simultaneously being socialized in an adult world
with real risks and consequences
•Identity rehearsal
Accessing the Positive
•Increased media literacy
•Development of sex-positive, relationship-positive
sites
•Working at all levels to promote equality
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