apparently happy/21 days

Apparently Happy/21 DAYS

Tachena Winterhalter3 Weeks/My moms housePills, Computer, and Me

Time/Place project2012

Concept

After great debate with myself I decided that my art project would be myself. I was told that with in these bottles lied my true happiness. I would get better and then everything in my world would fall into place. What I wasn’t told was what would happen if I missed a couple of doses. I had a temporary lapse of judgment and screwed up my entire life. All because I was told that I wasn’t normal. So I decided to document me coming off the drugs.

Hospital Hopscotch

Julia Solis

(Dark)

Tara Donovan

(ACE)

Haze2003Stacked clear plastic drinking straws

Yayoi Kusama

(Happening)

1968 Love in Festival, HappeningCentral Park, New York

Inspiration

I was Inspired by Yayoi Kusama because she willing lives in a mental hospital. Which I can relate to because when the world seems to be all too loud for me that’s where I would end up.

I was Inspired by hospital hopscotch because in the beginning when everything started to fall apart that’s how I was feeling. Lost, forgotten, and alone.

I was Inspired by Haze because it feels clean to me. I look at it and I feel happy, which after three weeks. I was, I started to feel me again.

Day 1

How I am feeling

Honestly the first day of going down to half was not bad.

I didn’t notice any side effects.

But I can’t eat because I feel nauseated.

I miss my wife and dogs…I miss school.

I’m unsure how things are going to work out with my mom.

Day 3

What I am feeling

I hate my life right now.

Nothing I do is ever going to be good enough.

I just want to go home, but I can’t because my Wife told me that we were getting a divorce.

I feel like I am to blame.

No change as far as everything else goes.

Day 14

What I am feeling

I am feeling peppy today.

I know what happened wasn’t my fault.

Mom and I are getting along great.

My wife and I are going to be friends.

Medicine has been making me sick all the time, but I can eat now.

I went down to a quarter.

Day 21

What I am feeling No more medication!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so excited!

No more delusional thoughts of getting back together with my wife. We may love each other but that relationship is toxic.

I ate breakfast today for the first time in 3 weeks.(GO ME!)

I have been experiencing “Brain Zaps”. Mom said it should go away within a week or two…as well as the dizziness.

Side effects are no good for these medications.

I know my future is uncertain, but I have faith that it will work out for the best.

I TOOK OFF MY WEDDING RING!

What I have learned

To be myself

Medicine isn’t going to fix me because there isn’t anything wrong with me.

Someone out there is going to love me for me.

Coming off a drug really takes about a month.(If you do it right)

Bibliography

ACE GALLERY. N.p., n.d. Web. 24 Feb. 2012. <http:// www.acegallery.net/artwork.php?

pageNum_ACE=2&Artist=8>.  

Dark Passage::Hospital Hopscotch. N.p., n.d. Web. 24 Feb. 2012.

http://darkpassage.com/hopscotch/index.html. 

“Happening & Avant-Garde Fashion.” Yayoi Kusama. N.p., 1968. Web. 24 Feb. 2012. <http://www.yayoi-kusama.jp/l_hap/l/070.jpg>.