206 a skinner nichols presentation
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Meaningful Memorialization
By Cathy Nichols and Julie Graf Skinner
Bears, Bars and Bones
Balloons, Bubbles, Bracelets and
Butterflies
Coloring Books and Crayons
Popular Music
Amazing Grace…How Sweet The
Sound
Personalized Music
Flower Seeds and Bulbs
Running Shoes
Bicycles
Military and Religious Honors
Significance of Children Participating in Ritual or Ceremony
• Involved o Provides
acknowledgment of the child’s loss
o Replaces fearful images with positive memories
o Creates a bond between the all loved ones
o Provides appropriate opportunity to ask questions
o Promotes appropriate coping skills
• Not involvedo Creates fearful images
and misunderstandingo Eliminates the
opportunity to ask questions
o Promotes disenfranchised grief
o Ignores connection to the legacy of the loved one
o Denies development of positive coping skills
Characteristics of Rituals of Loss
• Acknowledge and Respect what has been taken away
• Honor what has gone, acknowledge the grief and provide comfort
• Bring stability and help find ways to compensate, substitute and cope
• Reaffirm the future and meaning of life
Memorialization
• Celebrate a Legacy• Honor Beliefs• Allow Participation • Reclaim former experiences that mark joyous times
Process of Creating a Meaningful Memorial
• Family/Group meeting - healing begins• Designing a service- honoring beliefs- incorporating family and friends• Conducting the Celebration
Ways to Celebrate Many Lives
• Legacy Book• Honoring Event• Remembrance Service
o Near a Holidayo Agency Anniversary
• Permanent Memorial
Legacy Book
• Dedicate a page to eachmember of your group• Allow family members or other residents
the opportunity submit information• Include a photo and story of each person• Keep the book in a public/central location
Honoring Events• Plan an event that incorporates
participation for a group of peerso Examples a. A meal that honors the deceased b. Concert commemorating favorite music c. Outing or Fundraiser d. Personalized Candle Service
Remembrance Service
• Candles• DVD Tribute• Luminaries• Sky Lanterns• Fireworks• Butterfly or Balloon Release• Favors that represent the person• Teddy Bear Ceremony• Memory Table/Photo Board
Permanent Memorial• Walkway of Engraved Pavers• Aquarium or Aviary• Photo Wall• Memory Garden• Tree Planting• Naming Rooms or Fixtures • Library Gifts• Establishing a legacy fund
What has worked for you?
Personally and Professionally
Preparations for “Your Story”
Personal Expressions Planning guideRecord Vital StatisticsPersonal PreferencesFuneral InstructionsBurial/Cremation detailsFamily HistoryContact Information
Next Steps
•How do you wish to be remembered?
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