206 a skinner nichols presentation
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Meaningful Memorialization
By Cathy Nichols and Julie Graf Skinner
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Bears, Bars and Bones
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Balloons, Bubbles, Bracelets and
Butterflies
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Coloring Books and Crayons
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Popular Music
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Amazing Grace…How Sweet The
Sound
Personalized Music
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Flower Seeds and Bulbs
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Running Shoes
Bicycles
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Military and Religious Honors
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Significance of Children Participating in Ritual or Ceremony
• Involved o Provides
acknowledgment of the child’s loss
o Replaces fearful images with positive memories
o Creates a bond between the all loved ones
o Provides appropriate opportunity to ask questions
o Promotes appropriate coping skills
• Not involvedo Creates fearful images
and misunderstandingo Eliminates the
opportunity to ask questions
o Promotes disenfranchised grief
o Ignores connection to the legacy of the loved one
o Denies development of positive coping skills
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Characteristics of Rituals of Loss
• Acknowledge and Respect what has been taken away
• Honor what has gone, acknowledge the grief and provide comfort
• Bring stability and help find ways to compensate, substitute and cope
• Reaffirm the future and meaning of life
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Memorialization
• Celebrate a Legacy• Honor Beliefs• Allow Participation • Reclaim former experiences that mark joyous times
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Process of Creating a Meaningful Memorial
• Family/Group meeting - healing begins• Designing a service- honoring beliefs- incorporating family and friends• Conducting the Celebration
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Ways to Celebrate Many Lives
• Legacy Book• Honoring Event• Remembrance Service
o Near a Holidayo Agency Anniversary
• Permanent Memorial
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Legacy Book
• Dedicate a page to eachmember of your group• Allow family members or other residents
the opportunity submit information• Include a photo and story of each person• Keep the book in a public/central location
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Honoring Events• Plan an event that incorporates
participation for a group of peerso Examples a. A meal that honors the deceased b. Concert commemorating favorite music c. Outing or Fundraiser d. Personalized Candle Service
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Remembrance Service
• Candles• DVD Tribute• Luminaries• Sky Lanterns• Fireworks• Butterfly or Balloon Release• Favors that represent the person• Teddy Bear Ceremony• Memory Table/Photo Board
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Permanent Memorial• Walkway of Engraved Pavers• Aquarium or Aviary• Photo Wall• Memory Garden• Tree Planting• Naming Rooms or Fixtures • Library Gifts• Establishing a legacy fund
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What has worked for you?
Personally and Professionally
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Preparations for “Your Story”
Personal Expressions Planning guideRecord Vital StatisticsPersonal PreferencesFuneral InstructionsBurial/Cremation detailsFamily HistoryContact Information
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Next Steps
•How do you wish to be remembered?