all parenting starts with the parent module 1
DESCRIPTION
First module from the programmeTRANSCRIPT
Practical ParentingSheila O’Malley
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Agenda All Parenting starts with the Parent
Parents need to create a relationship with self that has all the qualities of valuing, respect and belief that they wish to offer their child
Parenting yourself is no different to how you parent your child
Parents are defensive, because they have been hurt
Parenting self resolves inner fears & insecurities.
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All Parenting starts with you
The more care you show yourself... the more you will show your child.
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Physically
Sexually
Emotionally
Intellectually
Behaviourally
Socially
Creatively
Spiritually
Will influence how you relate to your child in these areas
How you look after yourself on a daily basis
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Physical expression of Self
Poor Sense of Self
Poor diet/no exercise
Pushes oneself
Never asks for help
Rush/race
Operates from neglect and overload
Solid sense of Self
Moderate in diet/alcohol
Rests when tired
Asks for help/support
Allows adequate time
Values self
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Emotional expression of Self
Poor sense of self
Beats oneself up
Thinks ‘I can’t do it’
Says ‘I’m not good enough’
Feels ‘I don’t measure up’
Actions: Avoids challenges
Solid sense of self
Builds oneself up
Thinks ‘ I will give it a try’
Says ‘I did my best’
Feels ‘I accept myself ‘
Actions: Challenges self
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Other expressions of Self Poor sense of self
Intellectual: Doubts capacity
Social: ‘I’m no one special’, no one will miss me’
Creative: No time for hobbies
Behavioural: 'I messed up’
Solid sense of self
Intellectual: Lifelong learner. Believe in you
Social: ‘I am special’, enjoys enduring friendships
Creative: Takes time for hobbies/interests
Behavioural: ‘I did my best’ Compassionate
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Parenting Self is how to resolve inner fears and insecurities
No parent deliberately blocks the progress of a child.
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Parents are defensive because they have been hurt...
...We bring emotional baggage into our parenting role
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We develop defences in order to protect ourselves from further hurt.
Your response
Being irritable
Being critical
Being impatient
Being anxious
Being tired
Being timid
Being a perfectionist
The challenge for you is to:
Embrace mistakes
Accept self
Nurture self
Believe in self
Rest yourself
Your presence matters
Believe you are good enough
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How to change?
Love
Accept
Affirm
Respect
Nurture
Encourage & believe in
Support & Challenge
Value yourself
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Essential Tasks
Identify how you feel about yourself
Observe your actions towards self & others
List your defences and see what lies hidden
Parent self as you’d parent your child
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Essential Messages
Your relationship with self will determine how you interact with your child.
Loving self is No.1
Parents are defensive because they’ve been hurt.
We’ve done our best
How you feel about yourself in each of the 8 areas, will influence how you relate to your child in these areas
Parenting self is the way to resolve inner fears & insecurities
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Top Tips to Parent the Parent
‘I accept myself as being good enough’
Catch yourself being good –’that went well’
What you put out-comes back
5 Deposits/1 Withdrawal
Parenting is the hardest job of all
Love & approval –the more you give the more you get
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Upcoming Courses/Workshops
One Day Saturday Workshops on Self Esteem – the key to your Childs Future Nov 14 or 28 Bewley’s Leopardstown
W:www.practicalparenting.ie
M: 086 8759086