Acknowledge, Ask, Adapt

Training Strategies to Improve Communication with Family Members in

Collaborative RelationshipsLaurie Beckel, MA/LPCPyramid Model Coach/Trainer

Permission to use materials given by:

Teacher Training and Implementation

Administrative Supports

Program Philosophy

Well-defined procedures

Designing Supportive EnvironmentsDesigning Supportive Environments

Building Positive RelationshipsBuilding Positive Relationships

Social-Emotional Social-Emotional Teaching StrategiesTeaching Strategies

Individualized Individualized Intensive Intensive

InterventionsInterventions

Module 1Module 1

Module 2Module 2

Module 3a, 3bModule 3a, 3b

The Teaching Pyramid Promotes Social-Emotional

Competence

Why Build Relationships?

• Relationships are at the foundation of everything we do. Build relationships early – don’t wait until there is a problem.

• Children learn and develop in the context of relationships. Adults too!

• Children with the most challenging behaviors especially need these relationships, and yet their behaviors often prevent them from benefiting from those relationships.

Building Positive Relationships

• Adults’ time and attention are very important to children.

• We need to give time and attention at times other than when they are engaging in challenging behavior.

• Family members and other colleagues (mental health providers, therapists) are critical partners in building children’s social emotional competence.

• We should all work together to ensure children’s success and prevent challenging behavior.

Acknowledge, Ask, and Adapt

• Acknowledge Recognize the difference between your

thoughts and the thoughts of another person (often cultural)

With an adult, this is usually done verbally

• Ask Respectfully ask the adult for more

information in order to more fully understand and clarify the issue

• Adapt Seek out a common ground when possible Come to resolution that addresses the real

issue Program for Infant Toddler Care, (PITC) WestEd

Potential OutcomesWhen resolutions address real issues, several

outcomes are possible• Resolution through mutual understanding &

negotiation Both parties see the other’s perspective and give a little

or a lot These conflicts result in a “win-win” negotiation with

movement from both sides• Resolution through teacher education

Teacher sees the family’s perspective. Teacher changes.• Resolution through family education

Family sees the teacher’s perspective. Family changes.• No resolution

Agree to disagree and learn to cope respectfully Neither changes and conflict continues

Janet Gonzlez-Mena

Negotiation“[With negotiation] it’s not a

question of giving up everything we know. It’s a question of

balancing what we know and what the parent knows, and

figuring out together what would be in the best interests of the

child.”

Louise Derman-Sparks

Practice Always Helps• Listen as Linda and

Sandi have a conversation using Acknowledge, Ask & Adapt (A-A-A)

• Read over the story• Notice what the

“mother” didn’t share• Now you practice this

same conversation• One person be the

teacher, one be the mother

• The third person, watch them to see what they do well

Guidelines for Teachers• Same initial paragraph, then teacher

specific: Provides the teacher’s perspective (which

might not match yours) You initiate the conversation with the family

member- Feel free to be warm and say nice things about

their child to start with (relationship building!)- The Acknowledge and Ask sections give you

some ideas for starting that conversation- Stay in the “Teacher” mode and be as real as

possible

Guidelines for Family Members

• Same initial paragraph, then family specific: You can be the mother, father,

grandparent, or anyone else who is actively raising this child (unless it states otherwise)

The “teacher” has been given some ideas of how to start the conversation with you- You can respond to the teacher in any way

that feels natural to you in your role as the family member

- Try and respond with answers that come from the perspective points listed for the family member

Let’s Practice Acknowledge, Ask, & Adapt• Same groups• Everyone does three

vignettes, switching roles from observer, to teacher, to parent or other staff member

• Use Practice Feedback form as the observer to help guide your feedback

• Stay in your role!• Share all perspectives at

the end of each vignette

A-A-A Has Many Uses

• Staff members also have different “buttons,” different beliefs and values, differences about how to approach behavior

• We can use this process of “Acknowledge, Ask, and Adapt” as a way of having dialogue and respectful conversations

• Sometimes the presence of a facilitator can be helpful for tense conversations

• There are many “right” ways to do things!