FAMILY I Custody

him €500 for the solicitor and €1,000 for the barrister and.the outcome was that they should get their agreement down in writing and return in a month's time. They did and went back again where it cost him another €1,500. But Jane still ignored the court-agreed custody order.

William threatened to stop paying €2,000 per month in maintenance but the judge told William that was wrong and that he would put him in jail if he ignored the court order He told Jane to abide by the custody order also. She ignored that too.

Over the next five years William went to court over 30 times, threatening again to stop the cheques if he couldn't see his children, and was told in no uncertain terms that he would be imprisoned if he did so. Jane continued to ignore the custody orders without retribution.

The simple fact of the matter is that while the courts maintain that they are unbiased and gender-neutral, the facts don't support this. While many men have been jailed for contempt for not obeying a court order for maintenance, not one woman has been jailed for disobeying a custody order

Roisi'n O'Shea, an IRCHSS scholar and PhD Candidate at the Waterford Institute of Technology, one of a handful of researchers who have been allowed to observe 'in camera' family law courts at first hand, said at a conference earlier this year on this subject, "I have still not seen a single case where the wife was ordered to pay maintenance for a child/ children or a spouse. Where an order is made to transfer the home into the sole name of one party, almost 70 per cent of those orders were in favour of the wife. Where a sole right to reside was ordered, again the wife is favoured in 99 per cent of the applications observed. These patterns could be clearly identified from empirical research."

The problem is, our judges are locked in a time warp

BOB GELDOF^When he

separated from his wife, Paula

Yates, Geldof said he was told

"how lucky I was to see [his

three daughters] two hours a

f****** week" . Geldof argued

parents should have equal "50-50"

access to their children. "[THE]

law ridiculed me. Its implementor

humiliated and belittled me and

would not accept I was as capable

of bringing up my children as a

woman. "

B R U C E WILLIS' marriage

break-up from Demi Moore was

almost impossibly amicable, and

he shares custody of their two

daughters. The two "b lended"

families even go on holiday

together.

that sees every woman as the nurturer and primary care giver and therefore the logical choice in any custody dispute. Once custody is resolved then it is only logical that the family home, usually the only asset of value in any family, should go to the woman. That home and those children now have to be maintained so the costs of this are worked out. Only then is the man brought into the equation, when he is told how much he has to pay so that everyone else but he is kept in the manner to which they are accustomed.

The law is not working for one of the parties. Our courts are also singularly unsuitable forums for the resolution ot highly complex and personal family disputes. Using barristers and solicitors in an adversarial set-up is akin to doing heart surgery wearing boxing gloves - in theory it should be possible but inevitably everyone loses.

Nothing changes without pressure for change and that cannot happen with our present system. We adhere to a strict 'in camera' rule for family cases that means that there are no transcripts for any family law cases available to learn from. This also means that much time is wasted on repetition when facts are disputed or new judges are appointed. But the most disturbing aspect of the 'in camera' rule is that judges are accountable to no one and have no way of learning from each other what is the best solution in similar cases. This leads to unfairness, inconsistency and stagnation, the very antithesis of what the common law system stands for

Recently, one man, who was representing himself, was told by a district court judge that a "father's guardianship does not carry the same weight as a mother's". When he challenged that and quoted Section 6 of The Guardianship of Infants Act he was told he was in contempt of court and was sent down to the cells for four hours.

Privacy must be maintained in family law cases but judges and other professionals involved must be held to a standard that most of their peers see as acceptable.

Recently, the manager of the family circuit courts, Eamonn Doherty, ordered that the Digital Audio Recording System remain on in family court cases. This ground-breaking act means that transcripts can now, at least, be accessed by suitable parties if necessary. Although this action may be challenged it seems to be a small step on the road to accountability.

As for William, it came too late. Through a combination of the recession and the crippling legal fees he incurred he could no longer afford the apartment he lived in and at one stage slept in his van in the Phoenix Park. He died of a massive stroke brought on by stress.

His wife, Jane, was truly devastated - but she still lives in the detached house that they bought together The courts were kinder to her I

MEDIATION If you find that you have family issues or your

marriage has broken down, try counselling. Often,

even the worst relationships can be repaired if both parties are willing, and it is well

worth trying. AcCOrd has a great track record in this field and has centres all around the country.

ACCORD Central Office, Columba Centre, Maynooth, Co Kildare, 01 5053112, email: admin@accord.ie:

www.accord./e.The Family Mediation Service is a state-run service that encourages couples to

work out the details of their separation without having to use courts or lawyers. They have four main

offices around the country and their website is www.fsa.ie. DUBLIN: 1st Floor, St Stephen's Green

House, EarlsfortTerrace, Dublin 2, 01 634 4320, email: fmseasVSfsa.ie. CORK: Hibernian House, 80A

South Mall, Cork, 021 425 2200, email: fmssouthmsa.ie. GALWAY: 1st Floor, Ross House, Merchant's

Road, Galway, 091 509730, email: fmswest@fsa.ie. LIMERICK: 3rd Floor, Riverpoint, Lower Mallow

Street. Limerick, 061 214310, email: fmsmidwest@fsa.ie. Free Legal Aid Centres offer free legal

advice to those that qualify in family matters but there is quite a waiting list for their services. Free

Legal Advice Centres, 13 Lower Dorset Street, Dublin 1. Information line: 1890 350 250, www.flac.ie.

Men's Support Groups of Ireland is a national support group network for men whose

experience is similar to William's. See their website at www.msgi.ie, or ring Brian on 085231 4240.

38 E F M AUTUMN 2011