7secret laws ebook

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Social Media Essentials & Strategies

for Small Business and Associations

T 7 S Lof S

Fk J. K


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Te 7 Secret Laws o Society

Copyright 2011 by Frank J. Kenny

All rights reserved. No part o this book may be reproduced,transmitted or stored in any orm whatsoever without writtenpermission rom the author. However, an ebook edition is beingreleased as a ree digital download at FrankJKenny.com. You areencouraged to share that link with riends, members, and colleagues.

Please address all inquiries to:

Frank J. Kenny

[email protected]

FrankJKenny.com

Edited by:

Cover Design & Interior Layout: Fusion Creative Works,www.usioncw.com

For more inormation please visit: www.FrankJKenny.com
http://frankjkenny.com/mailto:[email protected]://frankjkenny.com/http://frankjkenny.com/mailto:[email protected]://frankjkenny.com/


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Frank J. Kenny is an industry thought leader on small busi-

ness and association social media marketing strategies. He

has spoken on the topic at the state, national, and interna-

tional level. More than 150 associations have turned to him

or social media marketing training or themselves or their

membership.

He has more than 20 years o hands-on business experience

including successully boot strapping multiple start-ups to

leadership positions and guiding non-prots to spectacular

growth (as president/CEO o a 45 year old business asso-

ciation, he and his team employed social media marketing

and other strategies to more than doubled the membership

over an 18 month period).

He has been eatured in a number o media outlets in-cluding the American Chamber o Commerce Executives

Ab A


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(ACCE) Chamber Executive magazine and the Puget

Sound Business Journal. He has written on social mediamarketing or the Kitsap Peninsula Business Journal and

his early work has been covered by the Kitsap Sun. He

ounded and managed the very successul Bigoot Te

Northwests Social Media or Business Conerence. One o

his companies was named Business o the Year or his area.

Frank is a member o theAmerican Chamber o Commerce

Executives (ACCE), ormer Chair o the Chamber Division

o theAssociation o Washington Business (AWB), and or-

mer Washington State Chamber o Commerce Executives

(WCCE) Board Member. He is on the aculty o the

U.S. Chamber o Commerce Institute o Organizational

Management (IOM) program.

Frank has a degree in nance, his MBA, and is a gradu-ate o the Western Association o Chamber Executives

(W.A.C.E.) Academy program. He is nationally sponsored

by the largest CMS in the chamber o commerce industry,

ChamberMaster.

FrankJKenny.com
http://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/acce/2011winter_ce/http://www.bizjournals.com/seattle/stories/2009/07/27/story4.htmlhttp://www.bizjournals.com/seattle/stories/2009/07/27/story4.htmlhttp://kpbj.com/headlines/business_tools/2010-02-03/rules_for_internet_social_networkinghttp://www.kitsapsun.com/news/2009/mar/29/is-belfair-ready-for-twitter/http://bigfootsnc.com/http://bigfootsnc.com/http://acce.org/http://acce.org/http://awb.org/http://waceonline.com/http://waceonline.com/http://chambermaster.com/http://frankjkenny.com/http://frankjkenny.com/http://chambermaster.com/http://waceonline.com/http://waceonline.com/http://awb.org/http://acce.org/http://acce.org/http://bigfootsnc.com/http://bigfootsnc.com/http://www.kitsapsun.com/news/2009/mar/29/is-belfair-ready-for-twitter/http://kpbj.com/headlines/business_tools/2010-02-03/rules_for_internet_social_networkinghttp://www.bizjournals.com/seattle/stories/2009/07/27/story4.htmlhttp://www.bizjournals.com/seattle/stories/2009/07/27/story4.htmlhttp://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/acce/2011winter_ce/


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Who We Are

ChamberMaster is a division o MicroNet, Inc., a pro-

vider o sotware and networking services since 1986.

ChamberMaster was ormed in 1998 with the release o

member management sotware designed exclusively or

Chambers o Commerce. ChamberMaster helps chamberssucceed with non-dues revenue generation and member-

ship management tools that help chambers provide more

services and recruit new members. Our customers, ranging

in size rom 30 members to 3,000 members, consistently

rate our technical support and customer service as the best

in the industry.

Our Philosophy

At ChamberMaster, our business is making chambers suc-

cessul. More than just the essential set o core solutions,

we also ocus on the member, their needs and how we canhelp you build strong businesses and communities.

W k

CbM b bk

N A


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Tis book is designed to provide the reader with inorma-

tion on social media marketing or small business and as-

sociations. Te purpose o this book is to entertain and

educate. Te author and distributor are not engaged in

providing legal advice, nancial or accounting advice, or

any other advice outside o their expertise. You are en-

couraged to seek additional knowledge and advice or all

your business activities. Te author and distributor shall

not have either liability nor responsibility or any loss or

damage caused or alleged by the inormation in this book,

either directly or indirectly. I you do not agree to be bound

by the above, please do not read the book.

D


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Tis Book is Dedicated to:

Mom and Dad

Your sacrices have not gone unnoticed or unappreciated.

Tank you.

Norma

I am or you.

D


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I am truly grateul or the blessing o having worked with,

and be mentored by, so many ne people over the years. I

I have neglected to mention anyone here please know it is

due to memory ailure rather than lack o appreciation.

Mike Boyle. You embody the positive traits in this bookmore than anyone else I have ever met. You are an amazing

leader and I was very ortunate to have you as my Chairman

o the Board.

Greg Oldham. An amazing business and community leader

who speaks sotly and carries an intellectual big stick. You

deserve a lot o credit or the oundation you built at the

chamber.

Kyle Sexton. A bleeding-edge membership and market-

ing machine rom the Salem Chamber. Kyle, thank youor your inspiration and showing the way. Without you,

Ak


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T 7 S L S12

social media marketing or chambers wouldnt be where it

is today.

Bob Green o WCCE. Bob, you gave me a shot when you

hardly knew me. Your support over the years has been

much appreciated. Washington Chamber o Commerce

Executives is lucky to have you.

Dave Kilby and Steve Snyder o W.A.C.E. Tank you guys.

Your Academy program and annual conerences were oun-

dational to any successes I might have experienced in the

chamber arena.

ChamberMaster. Tank you Scott, Marcy, and Shanti.

Yours is the par excellence membership management sot-

ware company. I am honored to be associated with you.

Joan Cozart, Chris Mead, and Mick Fleming o ACCE.From my rst days in ACCE, you ound numerous ways to

help me and make me eel included. Tank you.

Chamber o commerce leaders: Mark Sturdevant, Beth

Bridges, Sue Turman, Rhonda Warner, Matt Bott, EldonnaShaw, Glenn Morris, Randy Gordan, Rick Winsman, Curt


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Ak 13

Moss and all the other chamber leaders that I have met

through speaking or the Academy program. Tank you.

My riends and co-workers rom the North Mason

Chamber, the North Mason Chamber membership, el-

low North Mason Rotary members, and the Greater North

Mason Community. Tank you or the riendships and or

being job creators, a tax base, and a primary source o do-

nations and community involvement. You rock.

Friends rom the business association industry. Renee

Sinclair, Cathi Hight, Pat McGaughey, Joe Cozart, Randy

King, and Raymond owle. Tank you all or your gener-osity. It has been a pleasure to get to know you and call you

riends.

And a great big thank you to my mentors: Chris Widener,

Jim Rohn, Mark Victor Hansen, Ken Blanchard, M. Scott

Peck, Norman Vincent Peale, Napoleon Hill, Wayne Dyer,

Dale Carnegie, Zig Ziglar, Og Mandino, Jack Caneld,

Anthony Robbins, Les Brown, Brian racy, Stephen Covey,

Bob Burg, Mari Smith, Chris Brogan, Seth Godin, Rabbi

Daniel Lapin, and others.


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Book One 17

Introduction 19

Chapter 1: urning Point 25

Chapter 2: Te Law o Acceptance and Respect 39

Chapter 3: Te Law o Reciprocity 53

Chapter 4: Te Law o Consistency 63

Chapter 5: Te Law o Social Proong 71

Chapter 6: Te Law o Liking 77

Chapter 7: Te Law o Authority 83

Chapter 8: Te Law o Scarcity 91

Book wo 95

Chapter 9: Your Social Media Story Must Break Trough 97

Chapter 10: Your arget Markets World-View and Your Niche 103

C


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Chapter 11: Your Unique Value Proposition 105

Chapter 12: Your Social Media Goals 109

Chapter 13: Metrics 113

Chapter 14: Your Brand 7

Chapter 15: Rules o the Road 125

Bonus Chapter: Strategies 133

Conclusion 167

Resources 169


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Bookone

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I just didnt get it. How could it be that he was so success-

ul and yet he was hardly ever in his oce working? It just

didnt make sense to me. I was more than a little conused

and even a bit upset about it.

In my world-view, lie wasnt supposed to work that way.Te man or woman that works hard makes the big bucks

and the socializers should be broke. I know lots o people,

perhaps even you, agree with that world-view; hard work

leads to success and socializing with your riends too much

leads to ailure.

I wrote this book to let you know that hard work is, thank-

ully, only a small part o the journey to achieving your

goals and dreams. It turns out that having a lot o un help-

ing others is another important part, especially in the ageo social media.

I


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Let me backtrack a bit and catch you up on where my angst

was coming rom. I owned a retail store. Four o them,

actually. I worked very hard at starting and running those

stores, day in day out, week ater week, month ater month,

year ater year or 12 years.

While I enjoyed what I did, my lie was pretty much all

about doing the hard work necessary to reach my goals

and dreams. I my world-view held true, I should have

been the rich one and proessional socializers should have

been struggling. Tat clearly wasnt always the case. Whatgives? I asked mysel more than once.

Worse yet, this guy, Mike Boyle, owner o North Bay

Mortgage, wasnt the only example o this seeming unair-

ness. Among the many examples I could share with you,

there was another guy, im Wing, who had an oce across

the street rom mine. I knew what he drove and where he

parked. He was hardly ever in his oce because he was an-

other proessional socializer! He was, you guessed, it verysuccessul in his career; rich, as a matter o act.


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I 21

I started to see a pattern. At rst, I simply let it go. I gured

these two examples were ukes. Some people get lucky.Tese were good guys; community-minded, involved, ea-

ger to lend a hand. I liked them. I just couldnt understand

how they did so much business even though they had these

un lives.

As I said earlier, I had worked very hard, crazy hard, or

years on my business and each and every year was a strug-

gle. I read everything on business I could get my hands on.

I had a degree in nance. I had my MBA. I got up early and

worked late. A day o or me was running to the wholesal-

ers to pick up merchandise.

Let me share a story with you. Years back, I got a call rom

a reporter saying that our main store was going to be in a

major newspaper. Tey wanted to do a eature story on us!Tat was a pretty big deal and I was very excited.

Te reporter showed up with a photographer and my

brother and I eagerly shared our story. When it came time

or photographs, I dashed inside to grab my yellow tablet.See, that tablet was my to-do list. It was, I remember, 3


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pages long on that specic day. It was always 2-3 pages long

o activities that kept me extremely busy, working hard.

Photo by Russ Carmack/Te News ribune

As you can see rom the photograph, there is that yellow

tablet. I should have been very successul i there was a

direct correlation between hard work, dedication, settinggoals, and perseverance. I had all o that in spades.


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I 23

A ew short years ater that photograph was taken, I was

bankrupt. Broke. Busted. Wiped out and starting over at36. I had recently been elected to be the next Chairman o

the Board o the local Chamber o Commerce, but when

the business collapsed, I was looking or work instead.

urns out there was an immediate opening or President/

CEO o that chamber. What I thought would be a tempo-rary gig as I got my lie started over turned out to be a very

valuable our years or me.

Te chamber is where I really got to know Mike and

im better. As I said, both were very active members o

the community (socializers). Working or and with them,

along with about 400 other small business people, gave me

a rare glimpse into what makes some small business owners

successul and others continue to struggle year ater year, as

I had. I had a real lie laboratory to study business success

with do-or-die participants.

I am going to share with you how it could be that just

working hard isnt a great strategy. As a matter o act, it is

a lousy strategy. I wonder i this story is speaking to any o

you. Are you a hard worker but success has escaped you soar? Read on.


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My business lie turned around when I adopted the strategy

I am about to share with you. By the way, I implemented

this strategy, and got amazing results, beore social media

had ully caught on. Social media puts this strategy on ste-

roids. I you have an open mind and are ready, here is the

strategy: Give Gits. Be Generous.

GIv GIFTS. B GNS.

Sound too good to be true? As I said beore, I had the op-

portunity to study hundreds o small business owners andsee what actually worked and what didnt. I was with the

rich ones and the broke ones all the time, on the inside, see-

ing the good, bad, and ugly. I knew their work ethics, their

intelligence, how they viewed themselves and the world,

how hard they worked, what they did and didnt do. Terichest, happiest ones? Tey consistently practiced (with-

Chapter 1

T P


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out calling it this) Give Gits. Be Generous. Te broker

ones worked really hard. Tey can take pride in that. Butyou cant take a to-do list to the bank.

Give Gits. Be Generous. It isnt exclusively a business

strategy; it is also a lie strategy. Employ this strategy and

the secret ideas behind it in your lie and watch what hap-

pens. It has so many benets that I almost dont know

where to begin. As a business owner or executive:

You will attract more customers.1.

You will have more un. Give Gits. Be Generous.2.

It is a nice way to spend your time.

You will have more riends.3.

Your standing in the community will rise and you4.

will have more inuence.

Opportunities will come to you out o the blue.5.

Your stress level will go down because your business6.is doing better and your lie eels more complete.


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T P 27

Are you ready to dig into this simple but powerul strat-

egy and hear how to implement it to dramatically improveyour lie and business?

While this strategy was eective long beore the Internet

came about, the social media revolution that we are expe-

riencing has made this strategy ultra powerul in todays

24/7/365 rantic and renzied world. Let me share this

strategy with you rst through an illustration:

Te center oval represents your current customers. Te oval

on the let, (Friends, Family, and Acquaintances), overlapsthe center oval; potential customers or members. Congrats!


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Some o your amily, riends, and even acquaintances are

customers. Tat is a good thing.

Te oval in the lower right is the universe o the people that

are strangers to you now but could become your customer

(your target market). Hopeully you get some overlap there

too (your phone rings, an email order arrives in your in-

box, a stranger walks in the door).

What I discovered in my chamber laboratory, in my own

business lie, and rom working in the eld doing the re-

search or the scientic basis (I have spent the last 7 months

traveling the country in my RV) is that a business own-er/executive has two basic choices: Tey can concentrate

mostly on the center oval - what Michael Gerber, author o

the E-Myth, might term doing it, doing it, doing it - or the

business owner can concentrate on the other two ovals.

I your business model is built around the center oval, as

mine was, then you have a three page to-do list, do cold

calling, send out thousands o direct mail pieces, and, all in

all, ocus on interrupting potential customer to show them

your widget. Tat wasnt a great model beore and is a hor-rible model or the social-media world we live in today.


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T P 29

Tere is a much better way. Instead, ocus on the other

two ovals by employing the strategy o Give Gits. BeGenerous. What specic actions am I talking about? As a

starting point, get involved in your community. Join your

local chamber and state and national trade associations.

Join the Rotary or another service club and attend the

unctions and meetings. Volunteer your time on the boardo the local Boys and Girls Club. Go to the charity auctions

and spaghetti und raisers. Help other people and groups

to be more successul by promoting their events or lending

your talent. You can even just share your contacts.

Are you saying, But I dont have the time or money? Well,

think about that statement. How is your current strategy

working or you? Are you working really hard yet strug-

gling? I was right there with you, dead tired and broke.

Ready to try something new?

Are you thinking it is too simple or that it cant work be-

cause success only ows rom hard work? Tat wasnt true

then and it is even less true now. Read on.

Tis rst step, being more involved, is a jumping o pointto the larger strategy. It is a great start though. Once you do


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these things, what do you think happens? Does the phone

quit ringing because you arent doing it, doing it, doingit as much? Just the opposite. Instead o having less busi-

ness you get more.

Te simple act is that when you give back to the commu-

nity and your industry, when you expand the let oval by

giving gits and being generous, customers come to you.

Te let oval expands dramatically.

When I got this, it came as an epiphany. I was dumbstruck.

And skeptical. I asked mysel, How could this be true?How could it be a better strategy to do things I totally en-


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T P 31

joyed, like helping others and socializing? But there it was

right beore me time ater time. Te most successul peoplewere the ones that attended unctions, sponsored events,

started the Boys and Girls Club, and sat on the boards o

the various non-prots.

Why does that happen? Te simple explanation, but an in-

complete one, is that you become better known in the com-

munity. People like to do business with those they know,

like, and trust. Lots o people see that you are community-

minded and that other people they respect already know,

like and trust you. Word begins to spread and you get more

business rom being social and visible. You receive more

reerrals and more opportunities all into your lap. You

are top o mind when people need what you oer, whether

it is widgets, tax accounting, or memberships

Tis is all true and eective. But it is just a small raction

o the ull story. Read on or the rest o the story, as Paul

Harvey would say.

Lets talk about people who are strangers to your business,

those in your target market that you dont yet know. Teycould be living in your area or, especially nowadays with


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the Internet, they could just as easily be living across the

planet. How do you reach them and make that bottomright oval grow? Again, by employing the strategy o Give

Gits. Be Generous.

What gits could you provide strangers in your target mar-

ket? How about posting useul inormation about your

eld o expertise on social media sites? How about answer-

ing questions about your industry and niche online? How

about orming an online community where olks in your

target market can learn rom and get to know one another?

Tere are dozens o ree and easy ways to provide valuable

gits to potential customers through social media and social

networking.

For the sake o argument, lets assume your business is pro-

essional photography. You could easily and quickly post

tips on taking better digital photographs. Lots o people areinterested in that. It would be generous o you to share your

expertise. What about posting some o your best work with

details on how the readers could duplicate your success?

Again, that would be a generous git rom you to them.

Are you thinking, Whats in it or me to give away thisknowledge? Good question.


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I have an answer or you: business. You want more business,

right? You want to reach your goals and dreams, right? Teact is, you can create the conditions or complete strangers

in your target market to nd you through social media and

the internet. But, i you dont oer them value up ront

they will have a much harder time nding you and they

will have no reason to do business specically with you.

Legendary speaker and author Earl Nightingale tells the

story about the man that stood in ront o the wood-burn-

ing stove and demanded heat. Te man told the stove that

as soon as it produced heat, he would put in some wood.

Te act o the matter is that one must put the wood in rst

and then out comes the heat. In todays world, you must

provide value rst.

When you do that, provide value up ront, you are giving

a git. People like to pay back gits. Tat is one way that

relationships start. As Seth Godin said about social media

or business, Strangers become riends, riends become

customers, and customers become salespeople or you byspreading the word.


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Tose strangers will only know about you and your busi-

ness/association (and potentially become your riend, cus-

tomer, reerral source) i you put something into the rela-

tionship rst. You cant just take. You must give.

We are not ready to go into developing your social media

strategy yet but here are some ways to give gits and be gen-

erous to strangers through social media (many more ideas

and strategies are orthcoming in later chapters):

Generously share your industry expertise, insights, & opin-

ions.

Post helpul content & interact to build relationships with

individuals in your target market.

Post high quality content to your blog, write thoughtul

articles, write ebooks, or shoot how-to videos.

Link to industry ino and news, be a central source o accu-

rate ino, curate your niche, build a community o people

interested in your niche.


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T P 35

Key point: Dont worry about mastering the technical

challenges o social media. Because o the rate o changeand complexity, it is wiser to outsource the technical.

Email me and I can recommend an expert or you.

Guess what happens?

Notice again that the oval in the center doesnt increase in

size. But the oval on the right explodes in size. Because o

word-o-mouth, and some orthcoming reasons, strangers

come to you or your product or services. Tat is the powero Give Gits. Be Generous.


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T 7 S L S36

But that isnt the whole story. We are still only scratching

the surace o the lie changing points I am going to makein this book.

As soon as we implemented this strategy at the chamber,

things took o. We got out o the oce, stepping away

rom a to-do list mentality, and socialized with our tar-

get market. Our team joyully gave and gave and gave. We

helped and helped and helped. And we grew and grew and

grew.

Te organizations membership count doubled in only 18

months. It was astounding. We exploded the membershipbase o that 45 year old organization not bydoing it, doing

it, doing it, but by helping others, valuing others, prais-

ing and celebrating others, reaching out without regards to

geographic boundaries, and providing value. Tat amazing

growth wouldnt have happened i not or Give Gits. BeGenerous. and social media.

Key Point: My own lie and proessional standing also

grew through this strategy. Pretty soon, I was sitting as

the Chair o the Chamber Division o the Association o

Washington Business, the states Chamber o Commerce,


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T P 37

and speaking at state, national, and international coner-

ences. I went rom small town obscurity to being picked(out o about 200 chamber presidents in Washington

State) to sit on the AWB executive committee. It wouldnt

have happened without social media and employing Give

Gits. Be Generous.

In the next section o this book I am going to share with

you the secrets o why this works so amazingly well. It is

signicantly deeper than simply being well-known and

helpul. Tis next section might blow your mind. I expect

many o you will demand to know why nobody previously

told you these secrets.

And please dont be worried because I am not yet giving

you specic social media strategies or your business. I will.

But rst, you must more ully understand the Give Gits.

Be Generous. strategy to ully employ it in your lie andbusiness. Stick with me. You will be glad you did.


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So, why does the strategy o Give Gits. Be Generous. re-

ally work? I have covered some basic, surace reasons, but

the astounding and secret reasons are next. o ully under-

stand the strategy, we are going to need to look at people in

the context o prehistoric man and the history o civilized

society.

Let me stop here or a minute and clariy that I am not an

anthropologist. I am not a psychologist. What I am is an

entrepreneur that loves to help other entrepreneurs and the

associations that serve them. As evidenced rom the explo-

sive growth o our association, and rom my own business

instincts, I elt at the core o my being that I had stumbled

onto something very important. Give Gits. Be Generous.

was a signicant discovery but I knew there must be moreto it.

Chapter 2

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I elt strongly enough about this to quit a good job and

go into the eld. I did this during the great recession.I even walked away rom being on the executive com-

mittee o our states chamber. I let job, amily, home,

and riends. I was on a mission. I I could prove a way to

help other people be successul and avoid the results I got

rom just working hard, then I had to do it.

Even though I am not a scientist, I can do research. I can

talk to people smarter and wiser than I am. Tats what I

did, state by state, city by city, speaking to business audi-

ences about these concepts and social media.

Social Media our - Los Angeles Area


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T L A 41

Long Beach, Caliornia

La Habra, Caliornia

Clovis, Caliornia


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T 7 S L S42

Visalia, Caliornia, Chamber o Commerce November 2010

El Dorado County, Caliornia

Gilroy, Caliornia


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T L A 43

La Habra, Caliornia

Buckeye, Arizona

Here is what I ound. Tere are 7 secret laws o societythat,

when combined with social media and my Give Gits. BeGenerous. strategy, has the power to transorm your busi-

ness and your lie. Best o all, the strategy isnt built upon

just working hard.


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A BIF HIST F TH 7 SCT

LAWS F SCIT

People, as social creatures living in a world o clans, tribes,

and villages have adapted over millions o years. We ormed

deeply ingrained habits and ways (short cuts) o unction-

ing around each other that allowed us to continue livingtogether. I am, o course, not the rst to realize the busi-

ness and societal implications o this. Tese implications

are not truly secrets; it is just that they are not taught to

us directly, at least to the vast majority o us. We have to get

lucky to nd them. I stumbled upon them in my research

and am excited to share them with you. It explains why

Give Gits. Be Generous. works so well.

Te strategy is mentioned in the Bible:

Tere is one who scatters, and yet increases all the more, and

there is one who withholds what is justly due, and yet it re-

sults only in want. Te generous man will be prosperous, and

he who waters will himsel be watered.~ Proverbs 11:24-25


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T L A 45

And by modern gurus:

Practicing the Law o Giving is actually very simple. I you

want joy, give joy to others; i you want love, learn to give

love; i you want attention and appreciation, learn to give

attention and appreciation.

~ Deepak Chopra

Much o the scientic work I am going to reerence came

rom research in human psychology. I am standing on

the shoulders o giants here; Abraham Maslow, or one,

who wrote about some o this in his 1943 paper, the

Hierarchy o Needs.

Te psychologist, Dr. Robert Cialdini, out o the Arizona

State University, researched and wrote brilliantly in his

book, Inuence, on how we unction as social creatures and

how these actors relate to business. Others that wrote or

spoke on ideas that contributed to this work include Zig

Zigler, Bob Burg, John David Mann, Chris Brogan, Julien

Smith, Seth Godin, and many others.

As you go through the 7 secrets, take the time to write out

the implications o these scientic truths as they apply toyour business and lie.


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Te 7 Secret Laws of Society Guide Bookwalks you

through the steps o applying these concepts and helpsyou create your business social media plan.

FrankJKenny.com

Lets start our scientic part o this journey with Abraham

Maslow. Maslow wrote a paper in 1943 explaining his the-

ories behind human motivation. Where previous psycholo-

gists studied people in insane institutions, Maslow came at

it rom a dierent direction. He studied super-achievers,

people like Einstein and Eleanor Roosevelt. From his work,

he was able to produce Te Hierarchy o Needs. Most

everyone has seen the Hierarchy o Needspyramid.

According to Maslow, as soon as we satisy our physiologi-

cal needs, such as ood, water, and sleep we turn our atten-

tion to saety needs, such as employment, and our security.We dont care too much about achieving our lies goals or

dreams when we are concerned about where we will sleep

and what we will eat.

As soon as our physiological needs are satised, we turn ourattention to nding a sense o belonging. Maslow ound
http://www.frankjkenny.com/http://www.frankjkenny.com/


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T L A 47

that, among healthy people (most people), they need, or

rather crave, acceptance and belonging. I they cant nd itthey are apt to become anxious or even depressed.

I oten tell my audiences that we, as social creatures, need

to know we are accepted, heard, and loved. Te question,

I you disappeared tomorrow, would anyone even care?

cuts to the core o it. I the answer to that question is no,

then guess what the main ocus o your lie is, assuming

your physiological needs have been met?

Is there an opportunity or you (meaning you as an indi-

vidual, you as an employee, and you as a business owner)to Give Gits. Be Generous. here? Zig Zigler said, You

can have everything in lie you want, i you will just help

enough other people get what they want. Maslow showed

that what we want, more than almost anything else, is ac-

ceptance and a sense o belonging. I you can give this as a

git, would you? You can through social media. I will show

you how.

Maslows thesis went urther. Once people have ound ac-

ceptance through their Lions Club, knitting group, church,or business associations (or all o these), healthy people will


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T 7 S L S48

turn to the next level in the hierarchy, esteem, or put an-

other way, respect. We crave, as healthy human beings, therespect o others. Tere is nothing wrong with that. Only

somebody unhealthy would crave a lack o sel-esteem or

be happy not being respected.

Reerring back to the Zig Ziglar quote, can you see anotherway here or you to Give Gits. Be Generous? I it is the

right thing to do to help people eel accepted then it is also

right to help people eel respected or their accomplish-

ments and contributions. Tis is very easy to do online and

o. Just think, a quick word o praise, rom your business

or association, posted on Facebook instantly helps to satisy

a customers or prospects basic need or esteem - all done

publicly and or ree.

A core tenant o the Give Gits. Be Generous. philosophy

is going out o your way to help others get what they want

out o lie. By spreading acceptance and respect, you are

doing exactly that. You do this with the quiet calm assur-

ance that i you do this or enough people, with all sincer-ity, then you will likewise get what you want out o lie.


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T L A 49

Key point: Give Gits. and Be Generous. isnt built

around giving money. Tere are lots o ways to GiveGits and Be GenerousM. Making someone comort-

able in unamiliar surroundings is a git. Congratulating

someone or an accomplishment is a git. We are sur-

rounded by opportunities to be generous on a daily basis.

For my strategy, the rst Secret Law o Society is Acceptance

and Respect. When you are active and involved in your

community or eld, you cant help but employ them.

Pretty soon, people who were ormerly aloo or strangers

to you begin to know, like, and trust you. I you acceptpeople and respect them or their contributions, publicly

putting a spotlight on them, you are giving gits and being

generous.

Let me give you an example. Back when I was running the

chamber, we had a new member come to his rst monthly

luncheon. He was rom out o the area and didnt know a

soul. He looked a little like a sh out o water because he

wore a suit and brought his briecase. In our rural com-

munity, a sport coat was considered overly dressed and thisellow wore a 3 piece. I would have usually introduced him


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T 7 S L S50

to a board member or someone very social to break the

ice or him but I was tied up running the event. ry as I

might, I couldnt get over to him. I could tell rom his body

language, as the luncheon went on, that he was uncomort-

able, even isolated.

He never attended another luncheon or event o any kind.

I only I, or one o the members, would have made him

eel accepted it would have been a git to him. Better yet,

several members could have approached him and drew him

into the group. Perhaps we even could have ound some-thing about him to praise. A little respect goes a long ways,

especially when somebody is new to your industry, area, or

association.

Te point I am trying to make is this: even in a group o

business networkers, people oten eel ignored and unap-

preciated. Acceptance is a core need o who we are as hu-

mans. Employ this rst secret both online and o. Give

people the git o your attention. Be generous with yourpraise and approbation.


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T L A 51

Key Point: Te Secret Laws o Society allow us to unc-

tion and thrive in a complicated world. I the world wascomplex enough back then that we needed these Laws,

just think o the implications or todays ast changing

and connected world.

TH NxT 6 LAWS F SCIT

Lets acknowledge Proessor Cialdini again or putting a

name to these concepts and providing in-depth research on

them. He wasnt the rst and certainly wont be the last but

his book, Inuence, rst published in 1983, was a git to us.

Te proessor, and other scientists and researchers, showed

us that these Laws can be thought o as mental shortcuts

and unction, or the most part, to our benet.

By relating many scientic cases, personal stories and spe-

cic examples, I will try to help you think through the im-

plications o these secret laws, especially as they relate to

business and social media. I will touch on approaches as we

go but need to save the detailed social media strategies or alater section when we have all the pieces on the table.


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T 7 S L S52

Ready? Here are the age old and little known Secret Laws

o Society. I chose to use the labels that Proessor Cialdinigave them and added the Laws:

Te Law o Reciprocity

Te Law o Consistency

Te Law o Social Proong

Te Law o Authority

Te Law o Scarcity

Te Law o Liking


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Did you know there is a Law o Reciprocity? It is universal

and an integral part o society. Te Law o Reciprocity is

oundational to the Give Gits. Be Generous strategy.

From my research, I discovered that scientists think that a

core oundation o society is constructed around the idea

that i I do something or you, you will attempt to recip-

rocate. Tis isnt some subtle eeling that some o us have

and others dont. It is universal. Our ability to live together

in society demands that gits and avors be reciprocated. I

it hadnt evolved into human nature to do so, i it hadnt

become ingrained in us, at some point people would have

quit giving. What would civilization look like i it was OK

to take and take and take and never give back? Tat trainwould have run o the rails pretty quick.

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T 7 S L S54

o explain, lets say you and another person decide to go

grab a cup o coee at the local espresso bar. Since it wasyour idea you reach or your wallet to pay the tab. Your

riend is quick to say thanks and the two o you grab your

drinks and a table in the sun.

A couple o days later, you and the same riend are chatting

at the espresso bar again. Ater ordering your drinks the

cashier states the total, $6.52 please. You glance over to

see i your riend is reaching or cash. Ater all, you bought

last time. He isnt. No big deal, you say to yoursel, what is

6 bucks? You pay and you both grab your seats and have anice visit.

Te ollowing week, you nd yourselves there again. You

place your order, he places his, and the cashier rings up

the total, $6.52 please. You glance over to see i your

riend has got this one and he simply plain doesnt. No at-

tempt, on his part, to dig or cash or grab his AM card.

You pause. Te cashier is waiting and looking at you both.

You dont want to make a scene or embarrass your cheap-

skate riend so you pay with your card and o the two oyou go.


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T L 55

I you were the guy who paid these three times, how would

you eel? Uncomortable, I bet. Why? Tere was no discus-sion on who would pay. So what i you paid the last two

times? Whats the big deal?

It is a big deal. Huge. All the research shows that recipro-

cation stems rom a powerul eeling o indebtedness. It

comes with an equally powerul need to repay. We even say,

Much obliged, maam and tip our hats (picture a cow-

boy).

Obliged. Obligated.

Let me share a story with you that was related to me by

im, our earlier rich guy. He and his son were driving

along and im saw a group o parents and kids doing a

undraiser car wash. im pulled his car into the line and

had his car washed. One o the parents walked up to col-lect the donation. Instead o an acceptable amount, say 10

bucks, im handed over $30. For 30 bucks he could have

had it cleaned 4 times at the automatic wash in town.

ims son was a little taken aback by the big donation. Hiswords were something to the eect o, Dad, you are crazy?


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T 7 S L S56

$30 was way too much. ims reply is wise, even brilliant,

i you subscribe to the Law o Reciprocity. im said, in e-ect, Son, think about what happened there. I needed the

car washed. Tat is done. Tey needed money. I gave them

some. I could have given them the minimum, and they

would have been happy, and I could have spent the rest on

say, an ad or my business. Now, what would be my return

on that ad? Most likely zero. Absolutely nothing.

However, I did something nice. I knew the mother who

took the donation. While I am not expecting or demand-

ing that she send me a reerral, when she comes across apotential reerral or me, who do you think she will think

o? Te extra $20 is a smart investment. And, it made me

eel good to give it.

im is exactly right! While the lady is under no strict ob-

ligation to pay im back, what do you think went on in

her mind? 30 dollars! Tat im is a great guy. Te Jones

used him to buy their place. I should really try to do some-

thing nice or him. Tat could be what she is thinking at

the conscious level. What about subconsciously? Te needto repay, the need to relive the obligation, is so strong that


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T L 57

it can create a sense o guilt, or even disloyalty, or ailure

to repay.

Sociologist and anthropologist Marcel Mauss said, Tere

is an obligation to give, an obligation to receive, and an

obligation to repay.

Back to our story. By giving a little more than expected, itmay very well be the case that the mom will go out o her

way to help im. She might then do it again. And again. I

know I oten did when working at the chamber. im was

constantly going out o his way to help me and I was glad

to return the avor by reerring people to him. Failure to doso would have made me very uncomortable.

When somebody does something nice or us, like buys us

a cup o coee or provides good advice, there is a societal

demand or repayment. It isnt that the person buying the

coee or giving the advice demands repayment. It is a sense

o indebtedness and a sel- imposed (societal, really) obli-

gation to repay. I owe you one.. OK, you can get this

one but the next one is on me.

We have words or those who allow other to give and ailto repay. Tey are called moochers and ingrates. Most peo-


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ple, i not everyone, would be mortied to be labeled a

moocher or ingrate. Our reputations would be destroyedi the common perception was that we are glad to take but

never give.

Te Secret Law o Reciprocity can be very subtle.

Another real estate agent in my town would give his cli-

ents, riends, prospects, everybody, what he called drop-

by gits. At the time I thought it was simply to keep him

top o mind. More likely though, he knew that the Law o

Reciprocity would be in eect. He gives me a un little gitand I give him a reerral (or return the avor somehow).

When you give you get. Generosity brings prosperity.

ake ims earlier example and think about i your lie was

built around Give Gits. Be Generous. You would have

dozens, or hundreds, o people that you have done nice

things or looking out or you, bringing you clients, op-

portunities, and telling your story. You dont have the time

or Give Gits. BE Generous. i you are locked in yourbusiness.


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T L 59

Another subtle example. Sure is nice o ood stores to

give those ree samples. O course, it isnt really aboutletting you taste the ood at all. Tey know people will

return the avor o a ree sample by buying. We accident-

ly did this in our chamber at OysterFest. I thought the

customers simply loved those tasty samples because we

always had a line orm right ater the sample trays wentout. urns out, we obligated the customers without even

knowing the Law o Reciprocity.

Cialdini discusses a test rom the 60s where two study

participants are in a room. One o the participants (lets callhim the assistant) is in on the study while the other one is

actually the unknowing object o the study (lets call him

object). During a break, in controlled instances, the assis-

tant would step out and buy both o them a Coke. Upon

returning, he would hand the object the Coke and theywould both enjoy their drinks. Te object didnt ask or the

Coke. It was simply handed to him.

At the end o the day, the assistant would mention casually

to the object that he was helping to raise money or a char-ity and needed to sell some rafe tickets. He would ask the


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T 7 S L S60

object to buy some. In every case where the object was o-

ered a soda, they bought more tickets, even spending morethan the cost o the soda. Tink about that. Te assistant

decided i he was or was not going to give the git, then also

decided the terms o repayment.

Here is a simple example o how it works in regards to

social media.

Have you noticed that when you ollow a person on witter,

they are likely to ollow you back? According to studies, this

happens about 80% o the time. You ollow them, which

is a git o your attention, and the receiver oten recipro-cates. You re-tweet their post, they look or an opportunity

to re-tweet yours. You share their event on Facebook, they

look or a way to repay the avor. When you give, you get.

Tey eel an obligation. Human psychology and the Laws

o Society demand it.

When you give gits, dont ever think about keeping score.

Te key is to give generously and widely, planting seeds.

A simple way to do that is helping people eel accepted

and respected online. Compliment their posts, recognizepeople or a job well done, even i all they did was make


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T L 61

you smile. Share their posts. Go out o your way as oten as

you can to Give Gits. Be Generous.

Ten, out o the blue, you will nd people reerring others

to you. Great opportunities will come your way. You wont

always be able to pinpoint and explain why an opportunity

has come to you but it very well could be rom that auction

item you gave, that compliment you made, that quote you

posted, or any o dozens or hundreds o grand or simple

gits you gave. Somewhere down the road, your gits will be

returned, maybe through the best reerral or opportunity o

your lie. All the greatest opportunities come rom riends,

right? Tey dont post once in a lie time opportunities in

the classied ads. Your riend comes to you and says, I

have something or you!

I it were only or the existence o the Law o Reciprocity,

Give Gits. Be Generous would be a great strategy or busi-ness and lie, but there is so much more! Tese laws build

upon one another. Next, the Secret Law o Consistency.


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A study was done where researchers went to a nice neigh-

borhood and asked the residents i they would put up a

billboard in their ront yards advocating or sae driving.

Te vast majority o people quickly said no. Tey didnt

want to blight their neighborhood with a billboard in their

yard, no matter the good intent o the message.

However, in the next nice neighborhood, the research-

ers rst went to the homes and asked the resident i they

would display a 3 inch sign in their windows with the same

message o Drive Saely. It was a very minor ask. Te vastmajority said yes, they would be glad to do that.

Here is where it gets good.

A ew weeks later, in the second neighborhood where most

o the amilies agreed to post the small sign in a window, adierent researcher went to the homes and again asked to

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T 7 S L S64

display the billboard. Signicantly more people said yes.

Why would this be?

It is the law o consistency. Te people that said yes had cre-

ated a pattern in their minds where they saw themselves as

the kind o person who cared about driving saely and had

actually posted a sticker on their window stating as much.

In order to be consistent with themselves, they said yes to

the billboard too.

What do you think o a person that continually changes

their mind? Or worse, their story. Saying one thing and do-

ing another is something that ruins reputations. Sometimesit is called two-aced, or double dealing, or hypocritical.

In politics they call it wishy-washy or ip opping. Clans,

tribes, villages, and communities couldnt unction over

generations and eons i people werent held accountable or

their word. One o the most solemn oaths we have is, You

have my word on it. You break that, you are done.

Because o this, we have developed an obsessive desire to

appear consistent - consistent in our words, consistent in

our actions, consistent in our dealings. We really couldntunction as a society, long-term, otherwise. As a conse-


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T L C 65

quence, nNobody wants to be thought o as inconsistent.

Your reputation is on the line everyday and one sure way toruin it is to be thought o as a liar or two-aced.

Tis need or consistency is not exclusively or outward ap-

pearances, with how other people perceive us, but also with

our own sel-perception. Psychologists have a term or it

when our thoughts/actions and sel-perception contradict.

Tey call it cognitive dissonance. It comes down to us not

being comortable holding two conicting thoughts at the

same time.

For example, I cant see mysel as good person and thenmurder someone in cold blood. Te ideas conict, both

outwardly and inwardly. I would look and eel awul.

Tis obsessive desire or consistency creates some interest-

ing eects that apply to business.

I we do something as small as write an online testimonial

or someone, or example, saying they are a good person

or their business/association is solid, we deeply internalize

that to remain consistent in the uture. Years later that will

remain our opinion unless very powerul orces, such as anadverse experience, contradict it.


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Remember me writing that these laws have been around

since the dawn o man, helping us unction in society?Consistency is a shortcut that helps us to live our lives with-

out having to struggle mentally, again and again, with ev-

ery little decision. I every decision required us to start our

thinking rom scratch, consider the consequences; doing

research, analyzing things through, getting opinions romriends and experts, and generally treating each decision as

a standalone issue. We would never get anything done.

Answering questions like, Do I want to have ast ood or

lunch? would be major decision i it werent or the law o

consistency. Tink o it this way; are you a ast ood eater?

You probably made the decision that you are or arent a ast

ood eater many years ago. Tings in the ast ood indus-

try have changed since then. McDonalds has salads now.

Other chains have healthy menus. Shouldnt you do some

research to validate your prior decision? Ask some experts?

Read a whitepaper or a study? O course not. You dont

have the time. It is a act o lie; you wont revisit most o

your prior decisions. You are committed to them.

Lie is getting aster and more hectic all the time so the Lawo Consistency is getting more and more important.


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T L C 67

It comes down to this: to unction in society and the world,

we need to make decisions and then stick with them. Wesimply dont have the time or energy to analyze all the acts

or each and every question that comes across our lives. I

we have made the decision that we dont do ast ood, or

that we love the chamber, then the decision is made. We

dont have to go through the trouble o researching it everagain.

Here is something to think about. A young child is asked,

What are you going to be when you grow up? She re-

sponds, A doctor. 20 years later she is in medical school.

Or, a small child is being ussy and reuses to eat his broc-

coli, stating he hates it. Tose small little commitments

stick with us and grow. Our words create our uture. We

remain consistent.

We are even warned, Be careul what you wish or. Once

it is in there, in the mind, it grows.

Tis has massive ramications or social media and your

business. Lets say someone goes to your website and nds

valuable ino. Tey decide to subscribe and share yourpage on Facebook. Guess what? Tat is a big step down


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T 7 S L S68

the consistency path. Tey made a commitment. Tey sub-

consciously tell themselves, Tats valuable material I just

subscribed to and shared.

Small acts such as liking a page, subscribing to a eed, or

sharing a post can be the start o a very long-term relation-

ship because o consistency. Tat is why many businesses

run contests where the entry is simply a 100 word essay on

why you like their product. I came across a contest recently

where the post asked or a 2 minute video on how a cer-

tain speaker had helped to change your lie or the better.Writing out that 100 words or shooting that video is going

way down the consistency path. And it is nearly impossible

to get o once you have started down it.

Consistency is the reason politicians go door to door and

ask or a simple avor, Please vote or me. I they get a yes

(many people say yes to simply be polite, or to get back to

watching Oprah), then the voter, in order to be consistent,

will not only vote or them but is more likely to give a do-nation down the road.


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T L C 69

Ben Franklin said, He that has once done you a kindness

will be more ready to do you another, than he whom youyoursel have obliged.

Careul here. I am discussing the Law o Reciprocity versus

the Law o Consistency by using Bens quote. You would

think that i one gave a git or did a avor or someonethen the receiver would be likely to return the avor. Tat

is true. Tat is the Law o Reciprocity. Ben is talking about

consistency though.

Here is the twist, the Law o Consistency is so powerul

that even i someone who doesnt really like you does de-

cide to do you a avor, then they will, in order to be con-

sistent, go out o their way to do you another, and another,

and another. Ater all, they did something or you once

(and they make smart decisions). Tey must like you andwant to help you.

Has an acquaintance or riend ever done you a avor (or

become your champion) without being asked? Tey simply

took it upon themselves to help you. Ten they do it again.And again. Fascinating, dont you think? Its consistency.


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From the Give Gits. Be Generous standpoint, when you

go out o your way or someone, chances are they will re-pay you somewhere down the road. Society expects that.

Tat is great. But over time, because o consistency, it could

mean a lietimes worth o business rom that person (and

o course you reciprocate). Tat is how relationships are

born and nurtured.

Ready or the next Law? Social media and social proong

go hand in hand.


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When our chamber decided to take a leadership role in so-

cial media, one o my strategies was to reach out to commu-

nity-minded people beyond our tight geographic borders.

As I did that, I kept coming across a certain active com-

munity member, Mindy Byers. We had never crossed paths

beore, probably because she lived more than 40 minutes

north o my oce. With social media making geography

and borders much less important, both o our circles o

riends and associates had greatly expanded. I had so many

riends who were riends with Mindy that I decided I had

to see who this person was.

When I checked out her Facebook page, I discovered she

had practically all o the top business and political peo-

ple in the county as a riend. She wasnt only riends with

them; she was good riends with them. I could tell thatby the comments and riendly banter that went back and

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orth. My opinion o Mindy, that she was a solid, un, good

person with a antastic reputation, was set beore we everbecame Facebook riends. Once we nally met ace to ace,

it was as i we had known each other a long time. She was

socially prooed by our mutual riends.

Social proong is critically important, not just or personal

relationships and reputation but or business reputations.

As I said earlier, I have spent the past 7 months in the eld

doing research or this book and speaking to business audi-

ences. I travelled in my 5th wheel RV. Guess how I decide

on which RV Park to stay at next? Yellow pages? Not achance. Call 411? Hardly.

I had a two inch thick book o RV Parks but I didnt use

that either. You would be right in saying, He would sim-

ply do an online search or it. But I did more than that.

I read the online comments and check out the ratings. I

the majority o the comments were negative, or i even one

o them was negative and persuasive, I did not choose that

park.

Tat is social proong. It is another Law o Society and weare relying on it on more and more. We cant be an expert


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T L S P 73

on everything. We thereore need to rely on others to help

us understand new situations and to make decisions. Socialproong is engrained in our thinking (or should I say lack

thereo).

Tink about the simple laugh tracks that V comedies use.

Are we such sheep that we will think something is unnysimply because other people laugh rst? Tat is clearly the

case. Laugh tracks are a xture o V, even though most o

us know about them and shouldnt be inuenced.

In social media, social proong is extremely important.

When I go to your site I look to see i you have lots o

riends and interactions that tell me about your character

and i you have been socially prooed. I need to glean in-

ormation so that I can make a good decision about you.

I probably dont have the time, or want to go through thetrouble o studying you. So I look or clues.

We determine what is correct or true or important by nd-

ing out what others think. Tis is a huge time saver in soci-

ety and the group is usually correct. I I am walking downthe street and notice one person glancing up, I would prob-


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T 7 S L S74

ably ignore it. However, i everybody is looking up, I am

looking up.

Tey actually did an experiment like this and it brought a

New York street to a complete halt. Even the people driv-

ing cars elt the need to look up. I a large number o olks

were running down the street, away rom something, andI didnt have enough ino to make an inormed decision,

guess what? Id be running too.

We have a herd mentality. It goes along with living in a

world where we dont have the time or resources to make

great decisions or ourselves every time, so we rely on oth-

ers. When marketers say, Fastest Growing or Largest

Selling we naturally think, Oh, it must be good. Some

nightclubs are known or orming lines outside, even i

there is plenty o space inside. Our brains see that socialproo, long lines, and assume it is a great place. Ater all,

these people must know something we dont.

Key Point - Te ounder o the National Speakers

Association, Cavett Roberts said, Since 95% o people

are imitators and only 5% initiators, people are persuaded


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T L S P 75

more by the actions o others than by any proo we can

oer.

All o this applies to your business and social media. Make

sure you are socially prooed on your sites. A lot o interac-

tion on your sites proves that you are popular. Badges can

show you are part o an exclusive group. Large eedburnercounts show that lots o people have subscribed to your

posts. People want to associate themselves with popular

people.

It would be a mistake to post the number o subscrib-

ers to your blog i that is a small number. Tat is social

proong in the wrong direction. A large ollowing on

witter, LinkedIn, Facebook, and other sites is positive so-

cial proong.


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When people have something in common, an anity, they

are more likely to like and be inuenced by each other.

Salespeople will make it a point to nd commonalities,

such as children, sports, activities, etc. People like to buy

rom those that are similar to them.

Some time ago, a leader in our community asked me to

come to a charity auction, even asking i I would sit at his

table. I was attered as he was a top business person in our

area and I was relatively new to the chamber.

Once dinner was over and the auction started, I began to

eel a need to bid on things that I really didnt need and

couldnt easily aord. I hadnt gone that night hoping to

get a trip to Sun Valley. But I liked my host and his wie

and the rest o the olks at the table. Tey were all biddingon packages, so I did too. Tat is the Law o Liking. Te

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Law o Reciprocity was also in play as my host paid or din-

ner. I won a trip I hadnt planned to make.

Consider the home party business. A woman will invite her

riends over or the party. I you decline you might hurt the

riendship so you say, Sure. I would love to attend when

really, truthully, you have enough stu to last a lie time.

On Saturday you and a group o other women (none o

whom really needs any more stu either) get together at

the womans home. You have laughs, you play games, the

sales person does some demonstrations, and then asks or

the sale. Are you really buying rom the sales person or

rom your riend? Ater all, everybody knows that the host

gets a cut o the action. Te sales person does the selling,

but you are really doing this or your riend. I you dont

buy anything (ailure to reciprocate) you risk harming yourriendship with someone you like, your riend. You buy.

Tat is what happened with me at the auction. I didnt buy

that trip because I needed it. I bought it because I liked my

host. Tey did something nice or me, inviting me to sitwith them, and, like I said earlier, I elt a need to recipro-


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cate in some way. More than that though, I liked them and

wanted them to like me.

Tis kind o thing happens all the time.

Why do you think good salespeople always make it a point

to ask or reerrals? Mrs. Jones, thank you or your busi-

ness. Say, why dont you provide me with the names o 3o your riends that should also have this level o security

and comort?

Te salesperson will call up your riends and say, Hello

Mrs. Davis. Mrs. Jones said I should come see you. Mrs.

Davis doesnt want to cause any rits in the riendship so she

agrees to the meeting. Ater all, she has no details on what

Mrs. Jones and the salesperson talked about but it seems

Mrs. Jones went out o her way or Mrs. Davis. Better not

risk it.

Tere is more to it.

Lets bring all o this back to growing your business through

social media. We all know that people buy rom those they

know, like, and trust. When someone comes to your siteor sees your prole on a social media platorm, do they


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instantly get the eeling that they like you? Tey are much

more likely to buy rom you i they do.

Key Points on the Law o Liking:

People buy rom those they know, like, and trust.1.

Make sure your website takes advantage o this act,

rather than suers rom it.

People give special consideration to those they nd2.

attractive. Tere is a reason that pharmaceutical

companies choose models as saleswomen. Your sites

and proles need to be attractive. More on this later

in the branding section.

We like people who are similar to us in various ways3.

opinions, liestyle, or background. Commonalities

are important.

Flattery, praise, and compliments engender liking. It4.

must be sincere. I you have some amount o praise

or somebody, dont hesitate to share it. Dont ever

criticize. People dont orget or orgive criticism.

People are drawn to high-status people. High sta-5.tus people are generally laid back, unny, and calm.


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T L Lk 81

When somebody is needy, nervous, anxious, wor-

ried, or negative, it lowers their status and peoplewont think o them in as a positive a light.

Tey shoot the messenger. Weathermen receive6.

death threats. Be very, very cautious about being the

one that carries bad news. Shakespeare said, Te

nature o bad news inects the teller.

Overall, the point is, people are drawn to do business and

associate with those they like. I your branding and story

engenders that eect, you are well on your way to getting

more business.


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Randy Gordons Oce, President & CEOo Long Beach, Caliornias Chamber o Commerce

Suppose you signed up to participate in an experiment

where the researchers where trying to determine i people

would remember things better i there was a small negative

consequence or a wrong answer. Tere was such an experi-

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ment. Te negative consequence was the administration o

an electric shock.

From Wikipedia: Te Milgram experiment on obedience

to authority gures was a series o social psychology experi-

ments conducted by Yale University psychologist Stanley

Milgram, which measured the willingness o study partici-

pants to obey an authority gure who instructed them to

perorm acts, electric shocks, that conicted with their per-

sonal conscience.

Lets pretend you are a participant in the experiment and

it was you that got to administer the shock. You sit in oneroom and the victim, err the other participant, sat in the

next room. You could see and hear them but you were sepa-

rated. Now, the researcher (authority gure in a white lab

coat and carrying a clipboard), provides you with a series o

questions to ask. I the victim (actually an actor who is in

on the study) gets the answer wrong, you administer a little

shock by pulling a lever.

urns out the victim doesnt have such a good memory (on

purpose) so you are told to administer a shock. Ten anoth-er. And another. For each ailed question they get a shock.


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T L A 85

Did I mention the voltage o each new shock is increasingly

more powerul? Te voltage was pretty low at the start andyou could tell it didnt really hurt too much. Ater several

wrong answers though you can tell it is getting painul or

them. Ater several more wrong answers it is plain to you

that the shock is going beyond painul to excruciating. You

want to stop but the researcher says it will be ne and that

you should go on administering the shocks. At some point

the victim is begging to quit. Tey complain that they have

a heart condition. Te researcher in the lab coat motions

or you to continue. Again and again, more and more juice.

You want to stop, the victim wants to stop, but the person

in charge tells you to keep going so you keep going. All the

way to end o the voltage gauge!

Tat is the power o authority.

Te Law o Authority is another one o the mental short

cuts that allow us to unction in society. I we didnt have

a nearly universal respect or authority, we couldnt have

a unctioning society. We would have chaos. Te lengths

to which we will go out o a sense o duty to authority areastounding.


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When we come across an authority gure, such as a medi-

cal doctor, we naturally deer to his or her expertise. Aterall, they know innitely more than we do about their area

o expertise. We do this as a matter o course or all ex-

perts and people in positions o authority over us. It means

we dont have to think. Somebody else will do that or us,

thereby relieving us o the burden. Society is structuredaround authority. As a child, Mom and Dad are the au-

thorities. Everything in lie a child wants, and doesnt want,

are at Moms and Dads will. Tey are in charge and we had

better listen.

As we grow older, the authority is the school teacher and

even more so, the principal. Beyond that are policemen,

judges, and people in military uniorm. People in posi-

tions o power, usually wearing a uniorm, or in the case

o the researcher, a white lab coat and carrying a clipboard,

are deerred to. Credentials and uniorms are symbols o

authority. We are taught rom the earliest age to deer to

them. As we get older we turn to the PhD, the MD, the

CEO.

Tis deerment to authority is so engrained in us, and ourcustomers, that we truly do turn our thinking o.


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T L A 87

A story rom Cialdinis book, Inuence: An MD wrote out

instructions or an RN to administer 2 drops in a personsright ear or an earache. Simple enough. She put the drops

in his butt!

Why in the world would a highly trained nurse, an RN,

administer ear drops in a patients rectum? Because she de-erred to authority. Te doctors instructions, as written,

were to administer 2 drops R EAR.

As this applies to your business/association and social me-

dia, establish yoursel as an expert in your eld, an author-

ity. Dont be araid to brand yoursel as such. It is a ne-

cessity that you do so i you expect people to value your

opinions.

Ever step into a persons oce and see all the plaques,

awards, and recognitions that they have received? Why do

so many people do that, put all that up on the wall? It

builds credibility, authority, and expert status. Tey know

more than we do about their topic, dont they? All those

plaques, awards, degrees, honors, and public symbols orecognition clearly coner authority status. Your brain sim-


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T 7 S L S88

ply says, I had better do what this person tells me. Tey

are in charge. Tey are the expert.

What about when businesses advertise, Backed by the

leading.., or sponsored by the largest. or distrib-

uted by Microsot. It builds credibility and authority. It is

also social proong but more than that. Tey are an expert

and we always deer to the experts, even to the point o

putting ear drops in a rear end.

Furthermore, people are attracted to authority. Experts

speak in an authoritative tone o voice, carry themselves

condently, and use a tone o voice and body language thatsays that they are in charge. And 95% o people ollow.

On your website and social media sites, are you using tech-

niques to build your authority and credibility? Do you have

testimonials? Do you list the names o companies that you

do business with? Any awards conerred, such as Business

o the Year? By doing this you are demonstrating your ex-

pertise.

Tis is especially powerul i you are established as an expert

o proven sincerity. Notice I said proven sincerity? Tatsimportant because the research has ound that your author-


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T L A 89

ity will be in question i people think you have a conict o

interest. I you are only recommending something becauseyou will earn a commission, then your authority takes a

hit. On the other hand, i you come out against your own

best nancial interests by recommending a competitor or

releasing a condence (just between you and me, the com-

pany you should be dealing with is) then you build yourexpert status and authority.

You also must have a relevancy in the topic at hand. I you

are the top butcher in the meat market but my question is

on owers, you dont carry much authority on that issue.

Tat is one o the reasons why it is so important to stake

out your target market and niche. You cant be an expert

in all things but once you are clearly a top notch expert in

your niche, you get all the benets that go along with being

an authority.

We are making good progress on the Laws o Society. Soon

we will apply them directly to social media or your busi-

ness and association.


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Why is it that when something is in newly short supply

or i the sale is ending soon that we want it more? When I

was shopping or my RV, I came across last years model in

the brand I liked. Tey only had 2 let and it was a relative

bargain. Te sales guy made sure to point out that these

were the last two and this one in particular was a great deal

because it had the oor plan I was looking or. Even though

I knew about Te Law o Scarcity, I bought.

Years ago, when I owned a chain o retail git stores, I de-

cided to carry collectables. Figurines and other items in the

collectibles category are oten produced in smaller, limited,

quantities. Scarcity actually creates demand.

When I give presentations, especially in the business as-

sociation world, I spend quite a bit o time on the Law oScarcity. Ever go to a night club in Las Vegas, or example,

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that is just packed and un? Sure, we have all been to places

like that. Ever notice that there is oten times a section othe club that is blocked o or VIPs. Te club usually uses

a velvet rope to clearly say you cant come into this side

unless you are extra special. What is our psychological reac-

tion to that? Te audience is quick to agree that we always

want what we cant have. Or another clich, the grass is

always greener on the other side o the ence.

Have you seen the annual one-day wedding dress sale in

New York? Once a year, women wait in line or hours or

the chance to buy very expensive wedding dresses at hugemarkdowns. When the doors open the ladies rush in and

ght, literally ght, or the dresses. I think it must go back

to the days o living in caves where i you didnt get a piece

o the kill, your kids might go hungry. We put our think-

ing on hold and ght or our share (whether we really want

or need it or not). Whatever the original cause, we go nuts

rom scarcity.

As it concerns your business and social media, keep in mind

that i you price your item or services too cheaply, peoplewill assume it isnt very good or is not worth very much.


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T L S 93

You may think you will generate higher demand by being

cheap but the reality is you might cause even less demand.

Recently, I saw a public speaker and business owner post on

his Facebook page that he was cutting back on his speaking

availability because he was getting too busy. Now, I dont

know i he was purposely employing the Law o Scarcity

to drive demand and increase his ees, he might have truly

become too busy to speak so oten anymore.

Pulling The Secret Laws of Society

Together and Applying Them

to Social Media for Small Business

and Associations

Here is an example o how it works:

Give Gits. Be Generous. starts the ball rolling. An

author gives away a ree signed copy o her book to

an acquaintance.

Ten the Law o Reciprocity kicks in. Te receiver

o the book posts to the authors Facebook wall a

ew days later to say how much he enjoyed readingit. Obligation satised.


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Ten the Law o Consistency. When the receiver

posted publicly that he liked the book he took a stepdown the path o consistency. Next he might recom-

mend the books website to a ew riends, especially

i he wrote glowing comments.

I the author has branded hersel right, the Laws

o Liking and Authority will be in play when those

visitors come to her site.

Because the author has many Facebook riends and

witter ollowers, the Law o Social Proong is

there.

By employing the Law o Scarcity (say, a limited

supply o rst editions with the embossed work-

book) she is well on her way to reaching her mon-

etary goals and dreams.

But rst, she has to make sure the social media essentials

are covered.


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Booktwo

G B T

T 7 S Lof S


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W.A.C.E. Social Media Webinar

Like more and more olks today, I dont watch V except

or the occasional movie. V bores the living tar out o me.

I have way too much to do and cant abide losing all that

time. I generally cant nd any decent movies to watch,

either, unless one matches my, as Seth Godin has termedit, world-view.

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Hundreds o movies are released each year and I only hear

about a ew, perhaps the Oscar contenders. Unless it ismade or me. Unless it perectly ts my world-view. Ten

what happens? I somehow hear about it. When a Lord o

the Rings type movie is released, I know about it.

What do we do when someone is telling a good story? We

sit orward in our chairs, on the edge o our seats, and pay

attention. We all love to hear a good story. We will actually

take time out o our hectic lives or a good story. We love

the way stories can make us eel. We learn rom stories.

Stories reach us.

Robert McAee Brown, proessor and author o 29 books,

said o storytelling, Storytelling is the most powerul way

to put ideas into the world today. om Peters, the business

author and management guru, is quoted as saying, Te

story is more powerul than the brand.

Does your business story make your target market sit or-

ward in their seats? Does it grab their attention? Can it

break through the clutter o todays hectic lie?

Your business cant be all things to all people. 99% o peo-ple on the Internet dont care about you, your business,


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S M S M Bk T 99

or what you are selling. But that 1%, i you speak to their

world-view, i your story makes them say Tats or me!then you have a chance.

Have you heard ooms o Maine? Tey make toothpaste,

mouthwash, and other natural personal care products.

Tey are known or their responsible manuacturing and

environmental practices. Tat is a huge part o their story.

I you are a person that cares about that (ts your world-

view), their story breaks through. Tats or me! springs

out o your lips. It makes you eel good to do things, like

use oms o Maine, when it meshes with your world-view.

It reinorces and validates you.

Who is going to buy an electric vehicle? Only somebody

that has a world-view o themselves as an electric car owner.

Tey will sit up high in the drivers seat too, proudly ex-

pressing themselves through their purchase. Yet there are

other olks who wouldnt be caught dead driving an electric

car. It would be a waste o time and money to market to

them.

In the cacophony that is todays world, a story can breakthrough the clutter. Funny thing is though; you cant tell


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your story to everybody and have them all get excited. Te

majority o people will just yawn. Yeah, yeah, yeahan-other story. Tey might not put it into those words but the

reality o the situation is that people are busy, rantic really,

and they dont have time or your story. Unless..it really

strikes a chord with them, tting their world-view.

Do you have a story or just a store? I you are an entrepre-

neur, I am betting you have one heck o a story. I bet that

when you have an earnest listener you can really open up

about where the idea or your business came rom, how you

are helping others, the steps you took to bring it into real-

ity, the perseverance needed and the challenges along the

way. Tat is all part o your story; as is your logo, building

and website. Whats special about your product or service is

also part o the story. Everything about your business either

appeals to the world-view o your target market, or bores

them. I it bores them then you dont exist.

As another example, lets say you are a conservative that is

continually upset about what you perceive as liberal bias

in the media. Ten one day, you are ipping through your

500 channel

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